


How Monsters are Made

by CameronFoss



Series: The Love of Monsters [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Adoption, Amputation, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bionic Arm, Director Sawyer, Episode: s02e15 Exodus, F/F, Kid Fic, Lesbians in Space, Major Character Injury, Minor Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Multi, Parent Alex Danvers, Space Pirate Alex, Space Pirates, director sanvers, jewish!Alex, minor nb characters, not graphic, ship sails, specific warnings for specific chapters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:33:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 83,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26461234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CameronFoss/pseuds/CameronFoss
Summary: Pre-established Director Sanvers. Starts Post Exodus (s02xe15) but Kara has failed to stop the ship, sending Alex and three hundred aliens to the other side of the universe. Follows the divergent stories of Alex traveling home while her family adjusts to life without her.
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Lucy Lane, Alex Danvers/Lucy Lane/Maggie Sawyer, Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer, Angst - Relationship, Kara Danvers & Lucy Lane, Kara Danvers & Maggie Sawyer, Lucy Lane/Maggie Sawyer
Series: The Love of Monsters [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1931620
Comments: 312
Kudos: 225





	1. Last Day on Earth

“Supergirl!” Winn’s shout ricocheted through Alex’s head. 

“It’s alright! She just lost her comms,” but watching the red flare of her sister being hit by whatever the ship was armed with panicked her anyway. Almost as much as the ship picking up speed. 

Freeze breath did away with the immediate danger, but the seconds were slipping between their fingers. 

She stumbled only briefly when the shipped lurched under Kara’s hands. She pressed her fingers against the ledge of the window for purchase and nodded in encouragement as her baby sister tried to stop a speeding spaceship bare handed. The sound of protesting metal and the sight of the superhero’s arms shaking made everything come into direct focus. 

“Alex, in twenty seconds, this spaceship is going to be on the other side of the universe.”

Supergirl’s biceps were visibly shaking. The ledge of the ship caved under her fingers. The ship was not slowing down and there was no more time. 

“She isn’t going to stop it,” the whisper couldn’t register over the sound of the ship, but there was no time for repetition. Her mind whirled as she tried to think faster than the ship dragging her out of the atmosphere. “Winn, you have to tell Lucy and Maggie-“

“What? Alex no, Supergirl-“ 

“No, listen,” he started to say something, but Alex careened through, staring unblinkingly at her sisters clenched eyes. The Crinkle™ well and truly formed and coming to the sudden sickening realization that she may never be able to sooth it away again. “Look after them, okay? I… I got Lyra. And I’ll keep my promise. I’ll bring her home. Just, look after each other okay? I love-”

Even if Alex’s human eyes had any hope comprehending light speed, she didn’t have the chance. The ship lurched violently, ripping itself out of Kara’s grasp, and promptly slamming Alex’s head against the console, blinking her out of consciousness. 

* * *

Breaking under the pressure of pain looked so different between the three of them. That’s all Maggie could think about as she watched Lucy shut down before her eyes. Alex, strong, stoic, badass Alex, would fight to the very last moment, not to react. You could see it, in her eyes, as she became overwhelmed. The glaze of tears, the growing redness. But her lips did not tremble, her jaw did not tick. She was still, but for her eyes. 

Maggie, she knew, was the opposite. She clenched her jaw against any onslaught. Crossed her arms and pulled back her shoulders. Tears were not a luxury she allowed herself often, but the signs of breaking were obvious.

Lucy was a whole ‘nother beast. While the pain was written clear as day across Alex and Maggie, whether it be body language or tears, you could see it. Even if you did not know them well, the signs of distress were there. But Lucy did not break. She did not react. There were no tears, no ticking jaw, no crossing arms or fighting tears. 

The only way to know how much this news broke her, was by how _little_ she reacted. There was a moment, a pause between her hearing the news and processing it, where Maggie saw how _scared_ she was. And then, nothing. A blink, and the pain and fear and anger was wiped from her expression. Her jaw didn’t even set, nor did her back straighten. She simply froze, and shut down, before doing what had to be done.

“Can you track the ship?” Neutral, no heat. The perfect soldier. The perfect lawyer. 

“I don’t… no, I don’t think…” Winn’s eyes had not left his phone, though the call had disconnected abruptly in time with the ship reaching light speed. 

“Agent Shott,” Lucy’s voice was a razor across the room’s tension, eyes clear. “I need to know if you can track that ship. Now.”

“Okay… Um…” He jerked his head back to the monitor, “okay let me just…” and the muttering began. Focused on the task ahead. 

“Vas, I need a location on Supergirl,” Maggie’s panic drunk mind registered that Kara could be anywhere by now. Would be broken by now. 

Turning on her heal, Lucy locked eyes with McCarthy, a Supervisory Special Agent who was not currently on the other side of the universe. “Scatter a team – I want that facility swarmed ASAP. Anyone remaining, bring back alive. A Red Team will follow to tear that building apart.” With a nod, he vanished down a corridor, taking several lingering agents with him. 

“Mags,” for a second Maggie didn’t process that she was Mags, and Lucy’s empty eyes were on her. “Maggie, the NCPD need to be brought into the loop, and should help secure the scene.” There was an order in there somewhere, she vaguely acknowledged. Lucy was asking her to do something. But even blinking felt like a momentous effort, cement trying to hold her eyelids closed – and looking into Lucy’s dead eyes made her stomach drop away further. 

“Detective,” a large hand came down on her shoulder, the weight dragging her a little further back into the room. “Maggie,” J’onn’s voice saying her first name was jarring enough to focus her eyes. “Can you call your captain, or would you like me to do so?”

A task. They were giving her a task. A task which squarely fell into her role as NCPD liaison. A task she could do. 

“No,” that was her voice, even if she never asked her brain to produce it. “I got it.” Her hands started to pull her phone out and dial, independent from any intention Maggie might have had. She distantly heard her conversation, explaining that yes, the reports of a spaceship exiting earth over National City were accurate. But no, there was no immediate threat to its citizens. And yes, of course she would help secure the scene with the officers being dispatched – this was well within the science divisions purview and definitely her job given the DEO would already be on scene. But finally, no. No, she would not be able to co-ordinate with her normal contact, but she was acting under the Directors orders so there shouldn’t be any problems. 

By the time she hung up, the energy in the room shifted. The adrenaline of rescuing a fellow agent and stopping a xenophobic plot pumping through the air had drained away – now the room was suffocating in panic and despair and the sound of Winn’s increasingly frantic typing. J’onn was gone – hopefully to collect Kara – but Lucy still stood front and center, legs spread, hands clasped behind her back and eyes locked on the screens above. 

Maggie needed to go. The DEO team would be long gone, NCDP was on rout, so she would be last to the scene at this rate. But it felt like her brain was lagging – like she was moving in quicksand. When she turned her head, she felt that same delay that the edges of drunkenness gave, that interval as her mind kept up with her body – and the nausea that followed. 

Maggie needed to go, but the world was moving in slow motion and her girlfriend was standing five feet away, too rigid, too focused and calm and still. 

Her pain was less obvious to the untrained eye, but anyone who knew Lucy Lane, knew how much she loved Alex Danvers. Even before the three of them started their whole thing, Lucy had always reserved a place in her heart for Alex. 

So, anyone who knew the first thing about Lucy could see that she was a bow string pulled taught. That this calm was the calm of someone stretching themselves to snapping point in order to move forward. Right now, Maggie could appreciate that Lucy could not stop, or she would be dragged into the depths of despair. But Alex was God knows where, and they were the only ones who could help her. 

Maggie needed to go, and Lucy needed to keep moving, but right now in this tornado of despair, they were at the center and this may be the only moment of calm they would be granted. 

Saying “Lucy,” was like whispering into a storm. Exhaling to clear the cobwebs from her voice Maggie tried again - “Luce?” Taking a step back towards central command pocketing her phone, Maggie could see the slight incline of the C.O.s head. “I have to head to the scene,” garnered no response. Maggie got the distinct feeling that Lucy was waiting for actual news before she bothered engaging. 

“Are you going to be okay?” Unimaginably stupid fucking question, Maggie’s brain helpfully provides. And Lucy obviously agrees, because she remains stoically silent. “Okay, just…” inhaling shakily, she raised a hand towards her girlfriend, just shy of contact. Lucy was touch adverse in the best of times. “Just, keep me posted okay? And tell me if you leave the base?” 

For a moment, Maggie’s slow mind truly thought Lucy was going to ignore her. The space between seconds stretched out without any movement between the couple. And then, finally, imperceptibly, Lucy nodded, and returned her eyes to Winn’s screen. 

Even though the detective understood this as a dismissal, that this was the most she would get out of the Co-Director, and her girlfriend Lucy was currently not available for comment, she still hesitated. “Lane,” the firmest she had managed to make her voice sound. “I promise” clenching her jaw and eyeing the monitor that once held the blinking symbol of the ship, “we will bring her home.”


	2. March: Denial

LOG: Day 10

PASSENGERS: 316

AUTHOR: AGENT ALEX DANVERS

[These logs serve as notice to those concerned with the passengers onboard the Exodus, a Hoshin frigate, formerly of the Kazark fleet. We were bound for Takron-Galtos on March 18, 2017 Earth Time. I hope these are never seen by those it is intended for, but if it is, may they provide the barest of closure to those who receive it.

This ship and its passengers were forcibly deported by a terrorist group called Cadmus. Thus, all but one of the people trapped aboard are off-worlders who had made earth their home. Most of those trapped aboard wish to return to Earth, as they have families and friends and lives waiting for them. Therefore, over the course of our journey home, no matter the duration, these logs will be used as a reference for those who do not make it home.

To my great regret, I must inform the families of 28 people of their passing. If their names were not attainable from their person, an image and description has been attached for identification purposes.

Upon reaching lightspeed, one of the cells containing 12 individuals collapsed, unable to handle the pressure from highspeed travel. 10 of those individuals appear to have died instantly. Of the two that survived, one past several days later. The last individual, K’lesr is injured but alive. I expect them to make a full recovery. 

None of the cells contained any safety equipment to secure people during travel. As a result, a further 8 have died as a result of blunt force trauma when reaching lightspeed and the abrupt halting upon reaching our destination.

Finally, the remaining nine have died from unspecified causes. Without medical equipment it is impossible to be certain, but it is my belief that the atmosphere of this galaxy was toxic to their species. They died over the course of days, with increasing illness rather than injury.

I offer my sincerest apologies and deepest regrets to the families and friends of those lost. I know that it is a hollow offering, but I promise that myself, and the remaining members of this ship, _will_ return home and give you the closure you rightly deserve.]

* * *

Lucy had torn apart the lab. Lucy, an entire team of DEO agents, the NCPD science division and anyone who owed her a favor had torn apart the lab. And they had nothing to show for it.

If loathing didn’t boil in her heart at the very thought of the women, Lucy would be impressed by Lilian Luthor’s ability. Though they’d been on the scene in less than twenty minutes, the facility had been stripped. The files wiped beyond even Winn’s ability. Anything paper shredded and burned. All but the dead personal evacuated, including the elder Danvers and Lillian herself.

Every nook and cranny of the industrial building had been investigated, but nothing had upended a lead on where that ship had gone, let alone how to get it back. They didn’t even have a good grasp of what kind of ship they were looking for.

Now, 48 hours later, Lucy stood alone in conference room C surrounded by the scraps of evidence they had left. Which is to say, almost nothing. The all but blank hard drives Winn had extracted, fistfuls of shredded paper discovered floating along the tarmac, and the personnel files of those found dead.

 _Not enough to build a case,_ her legal mind helpfully added. Though, if she were honest with herself, if Lucy got her hands on Lillian Luthor, she would not live to see her day in court.

“Director Lane,” she suppressed a flinch at Vasquez’s voice behind her. “Ma’am, I think you should call it a night.”

“I’m fine Agent.”

“With all due respect Ma’am, no you aren’t.”

“Excuse me?” Finally turning, Lucy raised a single eyebrow, spine painfully straight, hands linking at her tailbone.

“Lucy- Director, we have everything under control here. Director J’onzz is back from the field,” _had he managed to find Kara?_ “And you haven’t taken any R&R in several days. As your 2IC it’s my job to-“

“As my second in command your _job_ is to listen to myself and Director J’onzz,” _and the deputy director_.

“Lucy, you’re my friend and I’m worried about you,” the Agents face twisted, pity shining in her eyes. “You have to go home and-“

“I can’t go home!” Lucy twisted her hands behind her back, where no one could see the weakness. She couldn’t go home. They’d just started to move in together, giving up the pretense that they could spend nights apart. Yeah, they all had their own apartments, but only Al- one of them had renewed her lease. Hers was up the next month, Maggie’s in July. 

She didn’t even know what clothes were left at her pathetic one bedroom, I have no intention of staying in this city for more than a month, let alone spend any time away from work, apartment. She had tried to remember – what clothes hadn’t organically migrated into their shared closet? Did she even have a change of underwear at her place? Could she bare to go back to her house, knowing that their place was only blocks away? 

But what was her other option? Go back to that stupidly open plan apartment? With the much too large windows and glorious bed and evidence of their tangled lives laying around, waiting to rip her heart open? No. She would stay and work and _work_ until they had some lead, something to hold on to.

Vasquez seemed to sense a lost battle, bowing out of the room with a frown. Lucy knew she should apologize to her friend – Vas was more than just her second and didn’t deserve this – but right now doing anything but staring at the contents of this room was too much.

She was thumbing through the photos from the scene when there was another knock. Though she had not felt the passage of time, the room was bathed in the red glow of dawn. She also didn’t have the energy to stand, so she must have missed yet another meal.

“Luce,” this voice was softer. No official undercurrent. Yet she didn’t even look up. “Can I come in?”

Silence. Honesty, Lucy was half convinced if she opened her mouth ash would tumble from her throat. She couldn’t even look away from the photo before her – the empty tarmac where the ship had originally been docked.

After a pause, the door closed. Slowly, as if she was an injured animal (which she supposed she was), the person approached until she was standing beside her, a hand braced on the back of the chair.

“Hey,” impossibly soft. Lucy had always wondered how she could do that with her voice – she’d seen her use it with their girlfriend so many times it was surreal to feel it directed at her. “What are you lookin’ at?”

Lucy remained frozen; eyes fixed on the tarmac. It had been taken that night, so it was horribly lit, but you could still see the cracked concrete where the ship’s door had crushed the ground.

The smallest of exhales, and then she felt the other person crouch, placing one hand on her knee, and the other on the chairs arm, not turning her but prepared to.

“Luce, sweetie,” she’d never called her that before. “You haven’t slept in days; we’re worried about you.” Still nothing, but Lucy could feel it all cracking around the edges. The corners of her mind crumbling the more Maggie pressed. “Please just… come home with me, okay? We can start fresh tomorrow, I promise.”

Her breath escaped her in a shudder, fingers denting photographs edges. Her eyes burned but she wouldn’t close them, couldn’t blink away the tears - that would be weakness.

“Lucy,” Maggie’s voice wavered, and other women’s pain punctured another hole in her defenses. “Please. You’re scaring me.”

“I,” Lucy choked out, “I’m- I-” but opening her mouth was a mistake. Words couldn’t escape but her breath started to. Breathing became short and uneven, Lucy’s vision blurring completely, the illusion of not crying fleeing her.

“Wow, hey, hey,” Maggie was already shifting, turning Lucy’s chair so that she was practically crouched between her legs, hand on either thigh. The photograph was abandoned as Lucy’s hands palms against her temples – hard – trying to regulate _anything._ She hunched forward, hiding her face as best she could while Maggie tightened her grip. “I’m here, okay? Just focus on me.”

But there was no focusing. She was spinning top out of control, tumbling over itself until it vanished, never to be seen again. She thought Maggie was still talking but it wasn’t penetrating over her own breathing and spiraling thoughts. She wasn’t connected to the earth anymore – she was unanchored and unravelling.

Seconds turned to minutes – and minutes might have turned into hours – because next thing she knew the room was pitch black. The sun had set, and Maggie hadn’t moved to turn on a light. Suddenly, she could tune in, realizing it was her own voice filling the space.

“- there’s just too much to _do_ and I can’t even bring myself to leave this room. There is paperwork and filing and I need to provide directions for everyone waiting out there and no one is even manning the desert base, but I can’t go out there. I can’t even open the folder to start making the phone calls – I have to call all those families.

“Oh god - I have to call hundreds of people and explain this, talk about what happened and reassure them and I have _nothing_ to reassure them about – we don’t know _anything_ and Lillian’s gone and I don’t even know how to begin to find them and Kara hasn’t checked in – or maybe she has but I can’t go out there and I just-“ finally her words choked off into sobs, Maggie’s fingers in her hair, pressing Lucy’s face against her chest, the only thing holding her together as she rambled and disintegrated.

It took whole minutes for her to realize that Maggie was humming, just softly, under her breath, while gently rocking them, just barely, back and forth. The motion, the sound, the vibration of her chest, seemed to finally regulate Lucy’s heart. That, or she just ran out of steam – burned out from the lack of… everything.

Eventually, Lucy pried her hands off her own skull, the pain from the pressure she was creating now registered. Carefully she transferred her grip to the plaid clad arm that was tucked against her, as Lucy tried to match her breathing to the steady beat of Maggie’s heart.

“There you go,” Maggie murmured, lips pressed into her hair. “That’s better.”

They allowed themselves this moment. Where they sat silently in conference room C, while everyone outside was still frantically working. They allowed themselves this moment of calm, where it was just two people who loved one and other (even though the words hadn’t been uttered) and were hurting so deeply that nothing would never describe.

“Okay,” Maggie loosened her grip slowly, waiting in case Lucy objected, until she could lean back and look into her partners eyes. “So, you’re gonna come home with me.”

“No, Mags, I-“

Maggie tipped her head, regaining eye contact as Lucy’s frantic eyes sought out the objects scattered behind them. “No, Lucy. You need a hot meal, a shower and some sleep. You’ll be no good to anyone otherwise. So, I’m gonna take you home and look after you, then tomorrow I will help you sort all of this out,” she inclined her head towards the table, but didn’t break eye contact.

“Help me?”

“The science division is perfectly capable of making some of those calls – most of the missing alien’s were going through us first. Me and my guys already made contact with a lot of those families during our investigation, so it’s probably better coming from us anyway,” her voice sounded calm and reasonable, as if the task she just assigned herself wasn’t so horrific.

“Kara did check in, and spent last night at our place,” Maggie pressed a palm against Lucy’s check at the new wave of tears. “She is still out on patrol now, but I will make sure to check in on her.”

“Winn-“

“Winn is alright. J’onn sent him home hours ago, and James took him back to his place instead. Everything is under control – you can come home for one night. I promise.” And Lucy chose to believe her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have approximately 45,000 words of this fic written, which I'd say is about 75% of the entirety? I just need to know if you guys are interested in this completing - This chapter is more representative of the style for the next 30,000 words or so.


	3. April: Denial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to be clear - I will not be posting this often when my classes start back up next week... I'm a law student with a full load, so that's time consuming af. HOWEVER, for the first 20-ish chapters I'm just editing so it shouldn't be too bad. Enjoy!

LOG: Day 30

PASSENGERS: 313

AUTHOR: DR ALEX DANVERS

[It has been one month since we reached Takron-Galtos. Though I do not hold a leadership position, I have been asked to continue writing these logs. I think people want some assurance that even if they pass, someone has recorded their time here. My grasp of English, the most common language aboard, volunteered me to continue.

Upon reaching Takron-Galtos, we were left adrift. No guidelines were provided for operation of the ship, and only a few members of the crew have engineering training applicable to this vessel.

Cadmus left enough resources for several weeks without docking. While this may seem like an act of kindness, I suspect that we have more then they intended. My understanding, based on previous intel and the number of empty cells, is that several hundred more aliens were supposed to be aboard.

However, the limited recourses and lack of progress on navigation began to raise tensions. This reached its panicle when it was revealed that I am human, and a member of a government organization tasked with monitoring alien life on Earth. This was understandably received poorly. My life was only spared due to the actions of a handful of individuals who vouched for me personally, and those that I attempted to free prior to the ship taking off. Furthermore, my training as a doctor and bioengineer has made me valuable enough that my presence continues to be tolerated. I hope they do not grow to regret this decision.

Following this, Lyron of Starhaven has become Captain and assumed control of the ship. Three died in the conflict.

Two of these deaths resulted from direct assault. A male of an unknown species was stabbed in an attempt to acquire more food then was rationed. He later died of his wounds as I could not stem the bleeding. An unknown hellgrammite was discovered the next day, concealed in an alcove. He was likely murdered by another crew member and used the chaos of my attempted arrest to conceal the body. The assailants remain unknown.

The final death involved a Byrnian engineer named Mykra. She died when attempting to investigate a method for restarting the dormant engine. There was a minor explosion, but due to her proximity she died instantly. 

On day 24 Ella (an Alstairan technician) and Dryl (a Tormock bio-mechanic) managed to begin operation of the ship, and we began our attempts to locate and travel to the closest habitable planet.

I am expected in the temporary infirmary. Several are still injured from our journey, and several more from the conflicts described above. However, we are making progress, and I expect to have further information about returning home in the coming days.]

* * *

Maggie had tried not to notice. She’s bitten the inside of her cheek and twisted her fingers and swallowed any response. For two weeks she had succeeded.

But it was hard not to acknowledge that Lucy would not say the name of their missing girlfriend.

Even talking about the manhunt, Lucy always referred to _the ship_ or the _mission at hand_. Never Alex, or even Agent Danvers. Upon a direct question concerning Alex’s ability to receive a signal if they could even get one out, Lucy had curtly responded that _all DEO agents have sufficient IT training_.

The ship left the atmosphere two weeks ago, and Maggie felt like she was living with a ghost that only she could see.

They have been trapped in a cycle since that first night Lucy came home; They wake up, pretend that they don’t notice Alex’s running shoes by the door, make coffee and go to work; Both of them throw themselves at the investigation, wherever it leads, and pretend Maggie doesn’t automatically dial Alex’s number to give the DEO updates; They work until someone brings them a meal, and they pretend Lucy doesn’t save half for Alex, because, of the three of them, she is the most prone to forgetting lunch; Finally, at the end of a too-long workday, they pretend that Maggie didn’t make enough dinner for three, before crawling into their too big bed.

And through all of that, Lucy has not said her name and it’s _killing_ her.

Bad enough that Winn’s a wreck – disappearing himself throughout the day just so he can breathe - because he doesn’t feel like he deserves the same room to mourn - because he thinks he was the reason Alex was on that ship.

Bad enough that J’onn has to keep running interference with the higher ups – justifying so much manpower for a single operation, for a single agent, on a near hourly basis.

Bad enough that Kara has yet to do anything but patrol and sleep – not spending more than seconds with anyone since that first night she crawled into Alex’s bed with Maggie and sobbed herself to sleep.

Maggie can’t also be the only one saying their girlfriends name at home. In Alex’s apartment.

So, when Lucy came home that night, she eyed Maggie warily. She’d set herself up on the couch, fire blazing, scotch in hand, another glass already waiting. Maggie’d even traded in her leather jacket and jeans for Lucy’s pajama pants and Alex’s old Stanford hoody. It screamed trap, but there wasn’t anywhere to retreat.

“Do you wanna get changed?” Maggie asked, all soft eyes, looking the picture of innocence with her legs curled up under her, back pressed against the arm of the couch.

“No,” Lucy replied carefully, taking off her jacket. “I _want_ to go to bed.”

“Yeah, well,” Maggie shifted, placing a foot on the floor. “That’s not on the menu tonight – though I can offer you a heart to heart about our missing girlfriend, or a discussion about your emotional state.”

The attempted levity fell short, Lucy crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes.

“And if I say no?”

“Then, I guess we go to bed,” Maggie tilted her head. “But we both know that isn’t the healthy choice.” 

“But ambushing me is?” She snapped back.

Sighing, Maggie leaned over to place her glass on the coffee table, rubbing her eyes. “No, probably not, but it’s what Alex would do,” Lucy flinched. After a long, heavy pause, she decided to just rip the band aid off. “Are we just never going to talk about her?”

Bad call – Lucy was instantly on the move, throwing her jacket at the table before taking to the stairs.

“Luce? Lucy!” Maggie got up to follow, where Lucy was already yanking open the closet. “What are you doing?”

“I can’t _do this,_ Maggie,” and for a heart stopping, nauseating moment Maggie though she meant them. Couldn’t handle their relationship – couldn’t be with her without Alex. That this was Lucy, packing up her shit and leaving Maggie, alone, in this too big apartment. “I can’t just talk about her and… I don’t even know! Feel better about it? She’s _gone_ and I’ve got to find her but nothing I do seems to be working!”

Without even turning around, Lucy started to strip out of her uniform, violently kicking her heals into the closet – she’d gone back to the Army Blues this morning out of desperation. Laundry was Alex’s job.

“I’m not saying talking about her will make you feel better-“

“No! It’ll make _you_ feel better,” her jacket went next, shoved onto a hanger. “But I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Why _not_!” Suddenly, Maggie found herself snapping back, feeling like her plan spun out of control so quickly she couldn’t even find the strands of where they started. “Surely you don’t think this is _healthy_ or _helpful,_ Alex is-“

“Gone!” The caliber of the shout shocked her to silence, Lucy snapping around to glare at her remaining girlfriend, hairpins partially removed, in just her skirt and button up. “She’s _gone_ and nothing I _say_ and nothing I _do_ is going to change that! She’s just gone-“ and just like that day in the conference room, Maggie watched her girlfriend unravel – her pain leaving her unstitched at the seams, tears running down her face. “Alex is _gone,_ and I just don’t know how to talk about that, Mags.”

Tears forming in her own eyes, Maggie took another step into the room, inching towards her crumbling partner.

“Luce, we’ll get her back-“

“ _You don’t know that!”_

* * *

LOG: Day 41

PASSENGERS: 295

AUTHOR: DR ALEX DANVERS

[17 died upon arrival in Gruuliv, the closest planet in Takron-Galtos. We did not know much of the solar system we entered, and unbeknownst to the majority of the crew, we docked in a planet unwelcoming to those who spoke with the Ligethimite tongue.

The governing body permitted us to dock and seek assistance, so long as they could investigate the ship for untoward behavior. This was discussed with the use of a translator aboard who was originally from this very planet. We believed this to be good luck. Lyron accepted their conditions.

Several guards entered. They appeared non-threatening. They toured the ship and spoke politely with several of the crew who understood some of their language. Several of our number were clearly uneasy and made efforts to avoid conversation. Unfortunately, one of the younger aliens had the misfortune of whispering something to his mother within ear shot of a guard. The situation quickly escalated, resulting in a mass boarding of the ship by several more armed Gruulivians.

The young child and his mother were dragged bodily from the ship, despite the protest of many.

They forced everyone against walls and spoke forcibly until it became understood that they wished us all to speak aloud. Many tried to speak English or other Earth-bound tongues, but I think they were listening for an accent, not a language. When the Ligethimite tongue was discovered in ten more of the crew, they were executed.

The guards attempted to force me to lead them down to the infirmary. Lyron intervened in my murder, agreeing to lead them. He later explained that he told them of my position as a doctor, and how I was duty bound to protect the ill and injured. He had no such duty and valued a living medic more than whoever they killed in the infirmary. Five more died as a result.

Following the massacre, the armed soldiers appeared to revert back to their vaguely friendly personas. They seemed to thank us for our patience and left.

I cannot bring myself to explain each individual who died as a result of this event, though files relating to them are attached. Two of the dead were children. I just wish to send my sincerest apologies to the families of those who were lost. I am so deeply sorry, words cannot express.

Moving forward, we are implementing a system for protection of those most vulnerable. Using the standards of their own races, we have over a dozen children aboard, six elderly and two pregnant individuals. This is no comfort to those already lost but know that we are doing everything in our power to protect every member of this ship.

Lyron asked the translator originally used to negotiate with the governing body of Gruuliv to remain behind when we disembark. The suspicions regarding his role in the massacre is too high to justify remaining. His name and identifying information are listed in the attachment, but he declined to provide any further information for anyone on Earth. He did not seem to believe anyone would miss him.

We have to remain on Gruuliv another few days. The governing body gifted us food and supplies, as well as navigation coding for a nearby planet, Cimenus. Lyron’s hope is that we can find someone willing to trade the Hoshin frigate. We require a new ship, which is smaller and capable of travel back to the Milky Way.

We will survive this – we will get home.]

* * *

It was J’onn who eventually brought it up.

Everyone else had been skirting around this final obligation – now that it was clear no quick fix was available. That Alex wasn’t coming home anytime soon. But no one wanted to say it, as if telling Eliza was the final nail in acknowledging their new reality.

“Someone needs to go to Midvale.”

Suddenly, no eyes were on him. Winn ducking to look at his feet, Kara scratching at the corner of the center console, Lucy staring straight through him.

“Eliza needs to be notified. It’s been too long already.”

A long silence.

“I should go,” the cold tone Kara had started to adopt seeped in tenfold.

“I’ll join you, as her C.O.” The other option was Lucy, but J'onn was not in the business of creating agony.

No one protested, and within minutes they took off. No point in pretending a car was necessary – no point delaying the inevitable.

Landing hard in their childhood backyard was when it really hit Kara. Her mind spun out, staring at the telescope, her thoughts ricocheting violently – _Was she destined to lose everyone? Would she never feel at home on Earth again?_

“Kara?” The back door opened. “J’onn? I thought I heard something out here.”

Later Kara would try pinpoint the moment Eliza knew. Somewhere between her drying her hands on the Midvale Elementary tea towel and Kara reaching the top stair of the porch. That’s when, she decided – somewhere in that space.

Because Eliza’s smile faded, and her eyes narrowed. She didn’t reach for a hug or ask any pleasantries – so she knew before Kara was in front of her.

“Eliza-“

“No,” she was still holding the towel in her hand when she raised it, stopping Kara’s words. “Don’t.”

“Eliza, somethings happened-“

“No.”

“Dr. Danvers, why don’t we go inside-“

“Stop talking, now, both of you,” she placed her other hand on her chest, as if the harder she pressed, the less likely her heart would tumble out and shatter. Neither of the unwanted guests moved to speak again, watching the waves of pain and fear spread over the older women’s face. “Is she dead?”

“Eliza-“ J’onn this time, his voice soft with his own pain.

But Eliza smacked his offered hand out of the air, fixing furious eyes on the man. “You will tell me this _instant_ if my child is dead J’onn J’onzz.”

A small sigh. “We don’t know.”

“You don’t…” that’s when she stumbled, Kara’s steadying hand on her elbow the only reason she made it to the outdoor couch. Kara remained crouched to her side, maintaining physical contact, while J’onn sat.

He’d done enough death notifications in his time as Director that he could resist the urge to placate or hold back – even if his heart was burning along with the family this time. “She went after Jeremiah – he was helping Cadmus transport aliens using a repurposed spacecraft. We don’t know the specifics, but Alex was on board when it launched. It was designed to enter lightspeed once it reached the lower atmosphere and despite best efforts,” Kara flinched, “we could not stop it.”

Eliza’s breathing became ragged, eyes locked with J’onn’s, as if searching for a less painful truth.

“Where is she?”

“We are still trying to find out.”

“So, you don’t know?” her breathing stilled suddenly – she’d found somewhere to direct emotion. “My child devotes her life to you and your organization, and all you can tell me is that she is _somewhere_ in the _entire universe_?”

“Eliza,” Kara’s voice was the softest it had been since the launch. “Winn tracked its trajectory – he says she could be millions of lightyears away. We just _can’t_ know.”

“No,” Eliza pushed her foster daughter hands away, standing abruptly. “I don’t want to hear this.”

“Eliza, please,” Kara voice cracked, a tear running the crease of her nose.

“No,” dusting off her pants, the older women suddenly looked the picture of put together. “You come back when you can tell me something real.”

Then it was J’onn who was doing the catching, Kara’s knees folding in at the sound of the porch door slamming shut. 

* * *

LOG: Day 59

PASSENGERS: 203

AUTHOR: DR ALEX DANVERS

[After the events of Gruuliv, it wasn’t surprising that several dozen of our number decided to disembark at Cimenus. Some intend to settle here, or on other nearby planets. This system is well developed, travel between neighbors not unusual. Most of our crew have already had to re-start their lives once on Earth and doing so again is not as daunting a task.

Other’s intended to find their own way home – I do not blame them. Too much has happened among this crew. During every night cycle I wake up to screams, nightmares of shared and individual ghosts haunting us.

Of those that have taken a separate course, many left letters and tokens for their loved ones. I have stored them on this drive and with my belongings. I promised that when we returned to Earth, I’d personally ensure they are delivered.

Lyron has obtained a new ship, and with it a pilot. His name is written “Scho’ty”, though my vocal cords ‘lack the necessary capacity to pronounce such a word’.

This ship is a marked improvement. There are actual sleeping quarters, kitchens and a medical unit. More importantly, the ship is faster and has a functioning weapons system. Scho’ty and Ella are making plans for upgrades, though I am specifically barred from discussions regarding operational matters. Much of the crew seems to be waiting for my sudden but inevitable betrayal.*

Unfortunately, nothing we could even remotely afford included lightspeed. Thus, we must travel the old-fashioned way – _super_ slowly. Scho’ty estimates 13 month’s Earth time, assuming no major delays. Which is unlikely, given that we must pick up trading jobs along the way to afford supplies. But we are on our way home.]

* * *

J’onn didn’t bother flying Kara back to her own apartment. He led the mentally absent superhero right to her sister’s window, waiting just long enough to ensure that she got in safely before taking off. He had his own grief to work through, and he would not burden his daughters any more than they already were. 

Inside, it took Kara whole seconds to realize that someone was talking to her. Touching her.

“LD, what happened?” Soft voice. She’d heard Maggie use it on Alex a handful of times. Kara’d even wondered what it would be like to have that kind of affection directed solely at you.

Blinking, she realized that Lucy was also there, standing a couple feet back. Lucy, she knew, was less tactile. But no less affectionate – no less in love with her sister. “Kara?”

“I’m sorry,” words tumbled out, but she didn’t know where they came from. It’s like she’d been hollowed out. All the stuff that made her up scooped up, leaving this shell, interrupting her sister’s girlfriend’s night. “I should go – I’m sorry.”

“Wow, wow, no,” Maggie said, tugging at the gripped arm. “No, you don’t Little Danvers.”

“Come here,” Lucy, inclining her head towards the couch. The fireplace was roaring, TV muted.

“You’re having an evening, I shouldn’t-“

“You should and you will,” Lucy. She was clearing away glasses, making room for them all on the couch that Maggie was leading her towards. Apparently, her feet were moving. Maggie navigated around the sofa, before sitting herself and tugging her after. Kara sat, not really connected the mechanics of her own body.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Lucy again, now equipped with a glass of water. Kara thought it was smart she placed it on the coffee table, not in her hand.

“No,” Maggie squeezed her arm again. “I just…” Lucy was leaning against the arm of the couch, facing Kara directly but not touching. Maggie was seated next to her, thighs pressed together they were so close. The couple waited patiently. “Can I just…”

“You can stay as long as you need Kara,” Lucy offered, bare foot burrowing under her thigh – something she’d done for several months now. Since… before. Contact, without feeling crowded.

“You always have a home here, Little Danvers.”

* * *

LOG: Day 110

PASSENGERS: 190

AUTHOR: DR ALEX DANVERS

[My apologies for the long delay between entries. I am happy to report no loss of life, though over a dozen of our number have decided to settle on one of the planets we have docked at.

We entered another galaxy shortly after my last entry and have been doing trading jobs until we have enough fuel and supplies to attempt to cross the Hemithea Nebula (I attempt to spell these names phonetically using astrological terms as the English alphabet is not available here). Hemithea is the very large neighboring galaxy which must be crossed without docking, as that would be hazardous to life.

The politics of the ship seem to have tenuously settled over these last months. Lyron has established a chain of command, and people have been allocated positions. Responsibilities for cleaning, cooking, maintenance, travel and ‘trading work’ have been allocated, each with its own ‘status’. I’ve even been assigned a couple of people who are medically trained on their home planets. We are working to create a biological-knowledge bank for the entire crew.

Boredom seems to be our predominant problem, as the crew anxiously awaits the decision to attempt a cross of the Hemithea. Though we have added several months to our travel time, I remain convinced we will return home.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Extra points to anyone who gets the reference. I do love my space pirates, in all their forms.


	4. May: Anger

LOG: Day 140

PASSENGERS: 190

AUTHOR: DR ALEX DANVERS

[It has been a month since my last entry, and we have yet to cross the Hemithea Nebula. I… understand Lyron’s hesitation, but tensions are rising quickly. Though the crew were civilians upon deportation, we have all grown into more than that, and most are willing to risk the trip between galaxies, and yet we wait.

The only thing keeping the calm is that Dr. Alphonse Luzano, an astronomer from Starhaven, has assured us that time is moving differently here. That what might feel like days and months to us, may be seconds and hours to Earth. That just because we have stalled here, does not mean our families are suffering equally alongside us.

But the calm is tenuous, and frustration is growing every day.]

* * *

Without ever explicitly talking about it, the Superfriends had tasked themselves with filling the void left by Alex as best they could. And with regard to Kara, there was a lot more void to fill. So, a tag team approach was undertaken. 

It was Winn who tipped Lucy off that she was missing – she was horrified to realize that the DEO’s primary asset had been MIA for over 12 hours and no one had noticed until the overgrown frat boy from space asked where his training buddy was.

And it was James who guessed where she might go – something about _emotion behind the emotions_ and a really poorly designed anger management system they’d tried last year.

But it was Lucy who was tasked with retrieving her.

Normally, emotional territory was best served by Maggie. But this intersected with work responsibilities, and Detective was busy tracking down a Cadmus lead so thin it was practically translucent. But any lead was a good lead at this point, so Lucy volunteered herself to hunt down the missing Krypontian.

Parking the SUV at the address scribbled on her sticky note, Lucy eyed the junk yard dubiously. It looked abandoned enough. According to James the owner owed Supergirl a favor, which she cashed in for the occasional punching bag.

Dropping down the two inches of space she couldn’t reach to the floor, Lucy thanked her decision to wear DEO blacks, rather than anything army today.

After ten minutes of blind navigation, she began to lose faith. The place was massive, she hadn’t even seen an office of some sort, where would Kara –

Her frustrated train of thought was interrupted by possibly the loudest noise she’d ever heard outside of combat. Like a claymore going off in the next room but more metallic. 

Following her ears, Lucy turned another two corners of towering junk to find a massive industrial building – looking about as decrepit as Lucy expected.

Walking the parameter until she found a door, she stepped slowly into the room. No windows and red paint made the place feel smaller than it was, but when Lucy looked up it was massive – big enough for Kara to hang a car from its hood and use it as a punching bad. Or, that’s what Lucy assumed, but the car in front of Kara was no longer on the swinging hook above, and dust was still settling around it.

Walking into the room, she watched Kara continue to pummel the downed vehicle – fists crushing the former trunk into an approximation of flat iron. She only paused to spit out a “what are you doing here,” without looking up before she started on the rear passenger side.

“James told me I might find you here.”

Blowing hair away from her eyes, Kara glanced over, “not what I asked.”

Crossing her arms, Lucy tried again. “We were worried when you didn’t check in.”

“Well, you shouldn’t have. As you can see,” she crushed the driver’s seat door. “I’m fine.”

“You missed training with pod boy.” Rolling her eyes, Kara kept throwing punches, driving the car further and further into the ground. “Kara, you know you can talk to me, right? Or Winn or Maggie, or whoever?” The engine screamed as her fist punctured hood. “You’re allowed to be angry-“

“Angry,” the superhero drew her hand away so quickly shrapnel was tossed behind her. “You think I’m _angry?_ ”

Raising an eyebrow at the wreckage, and the several feet Lucy was keeping between herself and the rapidly diminishing car, she resisted a scoff.

“Do you _really_ think watching that ship be blasted into oblivion made me _angry_ , Lucy?” something boarding manic entered blue eyes. “Do you actually believe that watching my sister’s face as the ship _only I could stop_ ripped itself out of my hands, has me, what? Pissed off? Do you actually think reliving the moment where I failed to save the _only person who ever made me feel at home_ …”

Whatever emotion that overwhelmed Kara in that moment drove her to kick the remaining car so hard, it literally flew into the far wall. The noise was so loud in the metal building that Lucy was forced to jam her hands over her ears, stumbling away from the wreckage.

It took several long seconds for the room to stop echoing with the sound, yet by the time Lucy could take her hands away and look over at the Kryptonian, her chest was still heaving, eyes fixed on what remained of the car.

“I’m not angry, Lucy,” which was hard to believe, but Lucy was willing to agree to disagree with the violently not-angry women. “I had any kind of normal life stolen from me the _second_ my parents put me on that ship. I lost my family, my friends, my culture over the course of _seconds._ Then I was forced to come here, a place where I couldn’t even hug my foster mother without cracking a rib. I didn’t understand your language or your customs and everything was too loud and too harsh, and I was _alone._ ” Her voice rose and shook with every sentence.

Finally turning wild eyes towards the Director, Lucy felt her breath stutter in her chest. She had known Kara Danvers a while now, and she would have put cold, hard, cash on such a manic look being outside her repertoire. 

“And the only thing that made that survivable – the only thing that made me feel safe and like I had a _chance_ on this stupid fucking planet was Alex! She taught me how to speak, and how to read and how to sneak snacks up to our bedroom. She crawled under a table to explain that the popcorn maker wasn’t going to hurt me, and took the blame when I broke our bedroom window. She made me feel like I could build a life here, that I could be normal and even when I couldn’t, she loved me anyway!”

Lucy was already stepping towards her by the time tears were crawling down the blonde’s face. “She is my entire world,” her voice lost its hard edge, creeping into hollow. “And I couldn’t save her.”

“So no, Lucy, I’m not angry,” now inches apart, Lucy had to look up into wet blue eyes, her own eyes burning. “I’m _broken._ ”

* * *

LOG: Day 193

PASSENGERS: 180

AUTHOR: DR ALEX DANVERS

“Ah… I hope this is recording? The little purple light is on, which is supposed to mean record according to our computer engineer. But then, our computer engineer is Alstairanian, and only speaks Spanish so I can’t be sure.” Alex Danvers smiled self-deprecatingly at the camera, leaning back in the chair, pressing her thumb into her palm uncomfortably.

Not much had changed over the 180 days. She looked tired, there were bruises just visible under the collar of her rumpled, slightly torn black long-sleeved shirt. When she twisted her hands, it drew attention to her dye stained fingertips.

“So, yeah, Mastih set this whole thing up so that I didn’t have to keep typing everything out. There have been complaints that I have not done enough of these recently, and this,” she gestured vaguely at the camera, incidentally lifting her sleeves and revealing a hint of dark red and purple bruising around her wrist, “was a suggestion from a friend. Which does not make me uncomfortable at all, given these are public domain amongst the crew.”

Her smile was indeed uncomfortable, but she still carded her hands through her too long hair and sat up straighter.

“Okay, so. We are attempting the Hemithea Nebula in two cycles, which is a relief. Ten more crew abandoned the ship while we waited. I think it was a combination of the growing tension aboard, some injuries resulting from trades and thinking that Lyron is going to delay the entire journey like this…” she glanced away from the camera, a wrinkle forming between her eyes. “I see their point. I just can’t imagine leaving this ship or crew anymore. Been together a long time now.”

Rubbing her hands together, she looked back at the camera and attempted a half smile.

“Being trapped in this mental box together for over six months has been… an experience. Particularly cause a lot of the crew can’t disembark at most ports, for various cultural reasons. And some of us can’t disembark ‘cause we haven’t ‘earned the privilege.’ Whatever the fuck that means,” her jaw ticked just slightly.

“But we on our way now. The journey has to be made in one go, without stopping or slowing down. So, the crew has to divide and rotate, ensuring we are always manned and running,” she flexed her fingers and forced a smile. “Hemithea Nebula is infamous for Scralkils. I gather that they are basically roaming pirates and raiders from the galaxy’s internal planets. We have been strongly advised against encountering them.”

“Lyron is not worried though! He has spent a lot of our down time between trading gigs training up a bunch of the crew,” she clicked her teeth together, and her smile grew even more forced. “So, we are supposedly able to defend ourselves against a boarding. Though, I am not privy to such matters.” 

“Anyway, I should sign off. I have been placed on overlapping duties, as medical training is on hold while we travel through Hemithea. I’ll be down in the kitchen 17 lights a day, which is hilarious to anyone who knows anything about my life pre…. All this,” she gestures around jerkily, taking a deep breath and forcing another smile for the camera. “I’ll try to update as we travel through, though I suspect I will be otherwise occupied.”

Off screen, a yell was heard, Alex’s head jerking left towards it. Something was shouted in a guttural language, even without translation coming across laced with fury.“ God avail ukk axol holo!" _Get your ass over here_. Alex exhaled loudly, running her tongue along her teeth. “avai valdhrokk krik!” _You worthless slug_.

“Canavk!” She shouted back turning back to the camera, lifting the corner of her mouth before muttering, “Darla end message.”

* * *

The apartment door slammed closed so loudly that Maggie dropped her spatula in surprise, twisting around so fast that she almost slipped in her socks.

At the threshold stood what can only be described as a furious Lucy – the set of her body so taught and her eyes so wild, Maggie immediately turned all the heat off dinner. This was not going to be a quick or easy conversation.

“Luce?” Tentatively taking a step forward, but Lucy just held up a hand. Breathing sharply through her nose, as if that second would be able to control the fury coursing through her veins. When she didn’t lower her hand for thirty seconds of controlled, rageful breathing, Maggie tried again. “Lucy?”

“I can’t even,” running a tongue over teeth, Lucy forcibly yanked her jacket off, tugging violently when it got caught around a wrist until she could chuck it in the general direction of the couch, missing by a mile. “They’re killing the investigation.”

Eyebrows pulling together, Maggie took a step around the counter. “Whose doing what?”

“The President,” rage gripped her again, rendering Lucy speechless for another moment. “Sends her _deepest sympathy for our loss_ ,” she stopped again, lifting her feet individually to take each of her heals off. “But they can no longer justify our use of resources on _missing aliens and a lone agent,_ ” and violently fired both shoes at the bedroom.

Maggie felt her blood freeze - Without the DEO’s resources, the investigation would die. The NCPD would continue investigating the missing aliens until Maggie listed it as a cold case, but they would get nowhere without the DEO’s support.

“She also _gently_ suggested I take advantage of my bereavement leave, given the circumstances,” Lucy ripped her hairpins out, definitely not gently enough to be pain-free.

The rational part of Maggie’s brain quietly agreed. Lucy… actually both of them, and Kara actually, should probably be put on leave. Alex might not be _dead_ but eventually they would have to start processing her loss as if she were. It’s just that none of them were ready to start that process yet though.

Instead of sharing that thought, Maggie took another step forward, hands out as if Lucy would strike out.

“Okay, well-“

“No,” Lucy pointed a single finger in her girlfriend’s direction, lip pulled back from her teeth. “Don’t you even _think_ about putting on your cop voice and telling me some placatory bullshit right now!”

Biting the inside of her cheek, Maggie crossed her arms. “Excuse me _Councilor -_ what do you want to hear, then? ‘Cause nothing I say or do seems to help anymore!”

“Just!” pressing her palms into her temples Lucy stalled before just wordlessly throwing her hands up into the air.

“No, seriously, what would make you feel better? You gotta give me more than that Lane. When I try to help, you shut down. When I try to be sympathetic, you push me away – what’s left? How can I help you!?”

“You _can’t_ Maggie!” And all at once, the lawyer deflated. All argument bleeding from her body. “I’m sorry – I’m not angry at you.”

Huffing, Maggie resisted an eye roll, frustration and indignation boiling in her blood.

“I’m sorry,” dropping her hands, she rolled her neck, letting the pops ring out before looking at her girlfriend properly for the first time tonight. “I just… I knew it was coming, but I didn’t think this _quickly._ ”

“I know,” was her diplomatic response, because, privately, Maggie was surprised the DEO even had been allowed to go on this long. J’onn had been ensuring business as usual was taken care of, but there was no ignoring the significant resources were being poured into looking for their girlfriend.

“I’m really sorry Mags.” Taking a tentative step closer, Lucy reached out and touched the exposed skin where Maggie had rolled up her sleeves. “Are we okay?”

“Yeah,” Maggie mumbled, trading her indignation for a smile. Swallowing her frustration she reached bac,k, tugging Lucy into a hug. “Of course.” 

* * *

LOG: Day 200

PASSENGERS: 163

AUTHOR: DR ALEX DANVERS

The Alex Danvers that clicked back into view a second time was a different person. She was sitting in the same chair, but the background was entirely changed. No longer was it just an empty room, walls painted a muted grey. Instead, random items were scattered around the space, weapons, boxes, clothes and rags crumpled everywhere. The walls were still grey but painted with specs of many different colors. 

Alex was also painted. Her skin speckled with what had to be assumed was blood, though it was more black than red. She sat, body folded forward, with her elbows on her knees, fingers twisting together obscuring her face. Her hands were dark with dried liquid of many colors, blending into a sort of black paint. Her clothes (the same from before) were more torn then whole, the cloth around her knees completely ripped away. A slash along her ribs revealed a stitched wound, and when she moved her fingers a gash running through her eyebrow was visible.

For a long, hollow moment she didn’t speak. But when she looked up, dropping her shaking hands, a haunted angry look was revealed.

“I don’t even remember what I said in my last log,” her voice was empty. It didn’t shake, but it was far from strong. “Scralkils, I didn’t know what they really were. No one really prepared us. They are not just raiders… they are…” she trailed off, squeezing her eyes closed. “They are monsters.”

A shuddering breath, as she pressed her hands into her face, rubbing her eyes harshly, before dragging them through her greasy still-too-long hair. She had reopened the wound above her eye.

“They didn’t want resources or loot. They wanted people, they wanted… slaves? I don’t know…” flexing her shoulders and leaning back to properly look at the camera. “They boarded, attacked, tried to drag women away. Even… Even one of our kids. Ky. She’s just 10, you know? Doesn’t even know her own species. Was abducted alone and doesn’t seem ready to talk about herself. But she’s smart. So smart. She helps me down in the infirmary, and is always bugging Ella about tech, when she manages to sneak away from the kitchens.”

Her eyes were growing red, so she closed them, turning away from her imaginary audience. Her jaw clenched and unclenched repeatedly while she gathered her will to continue.

“That’s the only reason she’s still alive. She was in the kitchen with me when they boarded… they phased right through the walls, into the ship. I… I killed the ones that started with us. I think they assumed that the most women would be down in the kitchen. Which… I guess is true? Lyron’s kinda like that. But I was there, and so was Lyra, so we stopped them. But we didn’t know what was happening upstairs… And by the time we got there, it was almost too late.”

“A couple of the guys were holding them off, but there were so many bodies on both sides along the way… It wasn’t like Gruuliv. These weren’t executions, they were battle wounds. I think we only ‘won’ cause they seemed to rely on melee weapons, axes and hammers. But we still lost 16 guys, and more are injured… I stitched up everyone I could before the other medics shoved me out of the infirmary to get some rest. As if I’ve been granted a fucking bunk elsewhere.”

“And two,” she seemed to sag forward. Eyes still closed but pressing a blood covered palm over her mouth. “We didn’t know until we’d taken off. We were already too far to turn back, and even if we did, there is no way for us to…” Exhaling violently, she jerked out of her seat, head disappearing out of frame. In a swift move she grabbed the chair and threw it so violently that it vaulted out of the shot and the sound of it shattering followed.

“Fuck!” she stalked away from the camera, her head bowed forward, fingers digging into the skin at the back of her skull. “We shouldn’t be here! Shouldn’t be in this stupid fucking death trap, millions of miles from home,” her strangled shout echoed in the room, making the audio flicker. But it still managed to pick up the sound, and visual, of her drawing back her clenched hands and slamming it repeatedly into the metal wall at the other end of the room, her wordless shouts vibrating with the clang of her fist.

By the time she dissolved into sobs, slumping onto the floor, the wall and her knuckles were bloodied with fresh red, mixing with the black.

* * *

Lucy had sworn to herself that she would do better – that Maggie wouldn’t feel the brunt of her anger or fears anymore. That there wouldn’t be as many nights where her partner tiptoed around the apartment like there was a bomb ready to go off.

Even better, she had promised a low-key date night.

Their entire lives had been consumed by Alex – if they weren’t working to find her, they were talking about it, and when they weren’t talking about it, they were thinking about it. Lucy had started having reoccurring dreams about being in central command with those stupid crime scene photos. So, Lucy had asked if Maggie wanted to take the night with her – not even to leave the apartment, just to be together and have it be about them, not their ghosts.

Ah the best laid plans.

She’d been in the dessert base (she’d had to return to her actual station eventually, though J’onn never said a word) when it all went to hell. Alarms blaring in what is essentially a high security alien prison is always a little more than a 15-minute fix. 

By the time the asshole with too many eyes was back behind bars, she was already three missed calls and two hours late.

Calling back rendered zero results, so she got a ride on the Supergirl express and was at their front door in ten nauseating minutes.

She ignored Kara’s thumbs up and took the stairs two at a time. Heart sinking when she pushed open the door. The open plan apartment was dark, not even the bedside lamps were on. However, Maggie hadn’t drawn the curtains, so Lucy could still see how heart wrenching her fuck up was.

The dining table was still set, two placemats (they’d finally stopped putting out the third last month), but only one still had cutlery. There was a bottle of wine still sitting out, even though Maggie was more of a beer or scotch with dinner kind of girl. She’d even dug out her candle sticks and Lucy could see they’d probably burned for some time before the other women gave up. It looked like the perfect, low-key, intimate evening they needed. She just hadn’t been there.

And she knew, without looking, that a plate was left for her in the fridge. And she knew, without looking, that it would be one of their favorites, that only Maggie knew how to make. And she knew, without looking, that the kitchen would be clean, and everything would have been perfect.

What she didn’t expect (though she should have), is that looking up at the bed, and seeing the sleeping figure of her girlfriend, who had just finished a fourteen-hour shift, would shatter whatever was left of her heart.

* * *

LOG: Day 214

PASSENGERS: 161

AUTHOR: DR ALEX DANVERS

When the camera clicked back on, the room behind Alex was once again changed. The walls had been scrubbed and the floor cleared. Alex was also changed – wearing entirely new clothes and her visible wounds healing nicely. Her shirt was a dark grey, the sleeves too tight around her shoulders and arms – but was clean and untorn. A marked improvement.

The cut over her eye had several dents from removed stitches, and the bruising on her forearms had faded to a yellow – though her dominant wrist and hand were still bandaged from her assault on the wall.

She even managed a neutral expression, though the set of her eyes and lips spoke of suppressed emotion.

“I apologize for my abrupt sign off on the last log. I asked for it to be deleted but the crew disagreed. They want our true experience to be available,” her jaw flexed. “I don’t necessarily agree but am respecting their wishes.”

“If it wasn’t clear from my previous report, two women were taken that night. I knew one very well, as she was training with me in the infirmary – She… Frankie was one of the kindest people I have had the pleasure of knowing. She was smart and committed and…”

Squinting, Alex pressed on. “I didn’t know Erik’a, so another crew member has agreed to include their own testimony about her below. But my heart goes out to her and her family… the world is a lesser place for both of their absence. And I am-“ she choked off for a second, clearing her throat. “I am so very sorry for their loss. I would do anything to get them back, to turn back time…”

“And to the families of the people who were lost in the fight, I am so sorry. They died protecting their fellow crew members. And I just… I extend to you and your family my deepest sympathy.”

There was a long pause, while Alex sat back against her chair, just staring into the screen. To the foreign observer it would look as if she was gathering her thoughts. To those that know Alex Danvers, they could see the naked pain and guilt she was burying deep within.

“Most of those aboard have created files within this drive, and it is my understanding that all but one of the lost did so as well – Videos and letters to their families, in case of death or… loss. They will be delivered to their families upon our return to Earth. I promise to do so personally, and until then, their memories will carry on with the crew.” Only her twitching muscles and clenched fists gave away her rage, buried under lawyers of professionalism.

“We are expected to exit this god-forsaken galaxy within the next few lights. My… status has improved as a result of my role in the battle. Most of the crew has accepted me, and I have been permitted freer use of the ship. So, I should be able to report slightly more regularly, and hopefully with less intense news.”

She sighed. Just before gritting out “Darla end message,” the camera captured how her façade of calm cracked.


	5. June: Anger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my wife informed me this is rather depressing as of yet. Couldn't just leave angst until I get some time off uni to edit. So here is something.... ever so slightly happier?

Lucy isn’t… a great cook. She’s military, and as long as it was filling and edible, her interest generally dropped off. Plus, she didn’t exactly grow up in a family dinner kind of a place, especially after her mom passed. But she’d insisted, with that eye tilt that meant she her mind could not be changed, so Maggie surrendered.

If she wanted to attempt to cook for Date Night 2.0 then so be it. Didn’t stop the cop from making sure the fire extinguisher was still within its use by.

“You have been holding out on me,” Maggie mumbled, eyeing whatever the pasta-y tomato-y thing on her plate was.

Lucy smiled around her wine glass; eyes set on the Detective.

“You do know that I didn’t just go from my dad’s military compounds straight into the army, yeah? I did go to law school – I had to fend for myself, however briefly.”

“Then _why_ haven’t we been enjoying your skills the last year?”

Lucy tipped her head to either side, setting down her glass. “I don’t really enjoy it, per say. Cooking that is,” she smiled salaciously when another moan escaped Maggie’s mouth from a particularly fake-cheesy bite. “I _am_ seeing other upsides now.”

Maggie actually, genuinely, laughed at the wiggling eyebrows thrown at her, both dimples popping and making Lucy’s heart stutter.

“You should cook with me,” Maggie offered, pausing to another bite. At Lucy’s arched brow, she explained. “You might not like cooking, but I do. It’d be nice, doing something like that together, don’t you think?”

The lawyer had to draw upon years of courtroom experience to ignore the prickling behind her eyes – heart warm, smile soft. “Sounds like a date.”

So, everything is going well. _So_ , well in fact. For the first time in months they were just Lucy and Maggie, no haunting absence in the room. It wasn’t that Alex was _gone_ per say, it just felt like one of those nights the doctor was trapped in the lab running an overnight experiment or committed to a sister’s night - but she’d still insisted that the other two crash at hers. If they wanted. And they had always wanted.

But instead of just fooling around on the couch (or enjoying the extra space on Alex’s bed) they’d actually committed to a date just between the two of them, reminiscent of the beginning of the triad. Lucy had insisted that she and Maggie date occasionally without their third – that they actually take the time to get to know each other before committing to something so complicated. It was nice – and probably the healthiest single evening since Alex left.

They’d even curled up on the couch together, the first time they have truly relaxed since March. Lucy could _just_ feel the ends of sleep tugging her under, Maggie’s hands in her hair, head on the cop’s lap while she tucked herself back into the corner of the couch. Slowly, soothingly, Lucy had slipped her hand under the edges of Maggie’s shirt, running light fingers over the warm flesh. It seemed both were holding off on other types of intimacy for the evening, but this was soft and romantic and a step forward. Then static lit up their TV.

_“To his captors... We demand you turn over Mon-El of Daxam. We know where he is harbored. If you do not relinquish him by dawn, we will take him with force.”_

For fucks sa-

* * *

**PERSONAL LOG: DR ALEX DANVERS (#1)**

When the screen lit up, there was no one in the frame. But the audio picked up a scuffle off to the left.

“Would you please just sit down!” exasperated, followed by a series of grunts and bangs. “For Feys sake Alex- Urgh! No licking- that is disgusting! What’s the matter with you!?”

A somewhat manic laugh, punctuated by another sound, like the squeaking of rubber on the floor. “Guess you didn’t grow up with siblings, huh!?”

“Bleh, what would possess such a revolting-HA!” Suddenly, Alex entered the frame violently, the hands of the second person just visible as they shoved her into the chair in front of the camera. “Now would you please-“

“No! I really don’t wanna to do this El,” she was still laughing as she spoke, facing her apparent assailant rather than the camera.

“You can’t just do those stupid logs every two weeks! You are in here more than everyone else combined and you are like, the only one who hasn’t made anything for your family!” Rolling her eyes, Alex turned to face the camera, raising a single eyebrow as if sharing her exasperation with the imaginary audience.

“That seems like my business, don’t cha think?”

“Well, I’m making it my business!” Someone leaned into the frame, human looking as far as aliens went - Normal-ish skin tone, two eyes, a mouth. But tucked behind slightly too sharp ears was broad leaves instead of hair, highlighted by a startling red color. She grinned directly into the camera, leaning over Alex’s shoulder and resting both hands on the arm rest.

“Hello family of the Great and Stupid Doctor Alex Danvers. She loves you all very much and talks about you incessantly! Unfortunately, she has refused to A) tell us your names so that we could do this for her. AND B) do one of these herself because she is, quote ‘too fucking pissed off by the whole thing to be anything but an asshole.’”

She leans back in the frame, patting the disgruntled but still smiling Alex on the shoulder, who looked up at her. “So, I have bodily dragged her down here. Or, well,” she looked off to the side, red eyebrows pulling together. “I guess I tricked her, then dragged? I couldn’t drag her more than a couple feet, she’s freakishly strong for a human… ANYWAY!” Clapping her hands together with a little jump, she returned her eyes to the frame. Alex rolled her eyes back to the camera. “I’ll leave her to it. I hope she says nice things. But even if she doesn’t, you should know that she does miss you. I personally think she works harder than everyone here to get back to you – even if not everyone lets her.”

With a last smile, and a final pat to Alex’s shoulder, the Alstarian exited the frame, leaving a slightly rumpled Alex alone.

“Ah… So, I guess I have no choice, huh?” She gave a half smile, tucking jaw length hair behind an ear. “I know that I should have done one of these ages ago. I just,” her smile faded before she shook out her hands and tried again. “Ella’s right. I am pretty angry all the time, and I didn’t want to have your last memory of me be… assholary. Though, Luce I know that you would say that is my primary setting anyway, and I should lean into it.”

“It’s been… almost a year since we left. And I have missed you all each and every day – but that’s also what keeps me going, I guess. We are only about 30% through our journey, which is the most depressing sentence I have ever said. But Scho’ty assures me that we are moving at a good speed, given our goals and limitations. I just ‘need to be patient’ or whatever, so you know, my strong suit,” she smiles self-deprecatingly.

“I guess if you have this drive, then you also have my logs. So, you know the general situation… or what I felt I could say that would be publicly available to the crew. It was… tough for me, at the beginning. I mean, it was tough for everyone! It’s just, I was the only human and working for… who I worked for made me look really bad. I don’t blame them for being suspicious…”

“The only reason I survived those first months is because of people like Lyra and El, and those that I helped save really early on. Most of the crew wanted to string me up… literally. Things were pretty bad until the battle of Hemithea. They’d never seen me fight, I guess, and Lyron is nothing if not practical… since then I have mostly gained the crews trust.”

She waved her hand around her vaguely, “I don’t even have a guard following me around anymore!”

Her chuckle kind of trailed off, as she rubbed at the side of her face angrily. “Sorry, I probably shouldn’t tell you guys about that. Doesn’t matter anyway,” she sat up straighter again, dropping her hand with a forced smile. “I’m still the head medic– not cause we don’t have other doctors! The aliens Lillian captured came from all kinds of backgrounds, some with hundreds of years of experience and knowledge that I can’t even grasp! But, aside from Dryl, who is a bio-mechanic, not many had experience with multiple types of biological make up. So… my background made me a better fit to help the most people. I have learnt so much! If this were any other scenario, it would be exciting…”

“After Hemithea I also help with the guard. I generally don’t do any of the trading work, that requires going off ship. Most planets aren’t too humanly friendly, if you catch my drift? Not to mention that the galaxy we just left had a very unpleasant anti-female vibe. But I help with training, and Lyron sometimes, quietly, takes my advice on strategic matters.”

Suddenly, genuine excitement and affection lit up her eyes, a smile pulling at her. “Plus, I asked the mechanics if they would give me some useful training in the engine room! Ky is dying to get in there, but there’s a strict age bar. So, I figure I could get some training, learn a helpful skill and help her out. She’s probably 11 now and is dead set on becoming an engineer or mechanic – but our education out here is pretty limited so gotta be creative!”

Smile fading, her eyes focused more directly on the camera, envisioning making eye contact with the family she was speaking to.

“I really do miss you guys. I promise, I’m doing everything I can to get home. And Winn,” taking a sudden deep breath, pushing away the desire to cry. “I’m gonna do what I promised okay? I’m gonna bring Lyra, and everyone else back. And I’m… I’m just so sorry that this happened, okay? I need you all to know, that I did everything I could to stop this, and now I’m doing everything I can to fix it. I love you all, and I just,” her eyes pinched as she looked away, fingers digging into her knees as her eyes reddened. “I’m so sorry.”

* * *

Lucy’s heart had lurched. The moment her missing girlfriend’s baby sister vanished into some alien beam of light (because Kara Danvers would not lose another person) her heart tried to puncture out of her ribcage.

The only thing – _the only thing_ – that kept her from falling apart, was that this was work.

She was standing in the DEO, in her DEO blacks, surrounded by DEO agents, and she was not allowed to scream bloody murder.

Oh – but there would be a murder – all that was up for debate was whether Mon-El or Kara is on the chopping block.

So, she took deep breaths and ignored J’onn’s knowing look. She followed protocol and listened calmly when Kara radioed in. She told Winn, who kept glancing up at her anxiously, to get her _the_ _moment_ Kara returned and did paperwork in an empty conference room. For _two hours_ she sat professionally and filled out meaningless documents. She did so without complaint, without a hair out of place, and silently. Then her phone buzzed.

It took exactly one look at Kara’s face to know things were about to go poorly for Mon-El.

Something he seemed unaware of. “So, you survived the first dinner with the fam!”

Walking towards the balcony platform, Kara turned her back on Lucy. But she didn’t need to see her face to read distain in her voice. “You’re a liar.”

“I’m sorry, okay? But can you really blame me for wanting to just be Mon-El, a regular guy from Daxam?”

“Oh, wow,” Kara said in exasperation, half turning away.

“With how you feel about Daxamites, if you had known that I was the crown prince, would you even talk to me?”

“You didn't even give me the chance!”

“Okay!” Lucy got between them – pressing a hand to Kara’s chest. “Conference room – Now.”

Holding his eyes for another angry moment, Kara stormed off. Sweeping a hand in her direction, Lucy encouraged boy wonder to follow, half a step behind. Neither of them noticed that every DEO agent in the room avoided looking in their directions – like the kids being dragged out of class for a scolding.

Kara had marched right into a meeting room and was staring out the bank of windows – back to the door, arms crossed – looking every bit the vengeful superhero. This was a deep contrast to Mon-El’s cautious steps.

“Now,” Lucy locked the door behind them, walking to stand between them again. “One of you is going to explain what the hell is happening, and you are going to do so like the professional’s you pretend to be.”

“I have nothing to say.”

“Kara, come on,” his voice boarded a whine. “I tried to tell you so many times, okay? I really did.”

Silence – Lucy was almost proud.

“Me being the prince… doesn't change anything,” probably the most insane single sentence of the night, “it doesn’t change how I feel about you,” but apparently boy wonder was sweeping past the groundbreaking information back into high school drama.

Still, Supergirl stared out into the city – but the Director could see her expression in the glass’s reflection– Kara Danvers was looking back. _I’m broken_ echoed in Lucy’s ears, as it had every day since that junk yard.

“Please, Kara, just tell me what to do, okay? I said that I’m sorry, what more do you want?”

Supergirl’s head tilted forward, and as she turned, she raised it to look into the Daximite’s eyes. Her jaw was tight with fury and hurt, but her eyes were clear. “You lied to me – you made me believe that you’re something you aren’t. And right now, with everything else,” her voice hitched, forcing her to take another breath to steady herself. “I can’t be with someone who I have to prop up – I can’t be your mentor or teacher anymore, Mon-El. I can’t be your _reason_ anymore.”

Reality was dawning on his face. “What are you saying?”

“I can’t – I can’t do this. I can’t be with you.”

“Look, Kara, if this is about Al-“

“ _Don’t!”_ It was years of military that kept Lucy rooted to the spot when Kara suddenly advanced, eyes on fire. “Don’t you _dare_ say her name.”

That rendered him silent. The entire room dragged into the tension of the missing loved one and the idiotic man-child picking at the wound.

“Okay,” Lucy turned to face Mon-El. “So, what I gathered from this is that you are not, in fact, a royal guard who was just another subject of a corrupt regime. Rather, you are the crown prince of a slave keeping planet. And currently hovering over my city with the large threatening guns, is your mother, the Queen. And she is under the impression that you are… our prisoner?”

“She doesn’t think I’m a prisoner anymore.”

“But everything else – the lying and the royalty and the angry gun-wielding mother, that’s all a full and accurate description of our situation?”

He paused, eyes flicking between Kara’s furious eyes, and Lucy’s… furious eyes.

“Yeah, that’s accurate.”

“And what is it she wants?”

“Me to return to Daxam.”

“Okay,” the Director nodded, pressing her palms together and then against her forehead. “So, this is what is going to happen. Mon-El, you have two choices. Option one, you return to your home planet, taking your mother and her guns with you. Option two, you are going to talk to your mother and explain that you need time to think about this, and in the meantime, could she not fire on the city in which we all live. Understood?”

He hesitated, waiting for Kara to chime in, say literally anything. She remained silent; arms folded. Defeatedly, he nodded, turning and yanking the door open to leave with his tail between his legs. Lucy made a mental note to have maintenance repair the freshly gouged doorframe.

She waited for the door to swing closed against before she let her suppressed… everything come to the surface.

“Now _you!”_ Kara’s eyes widened imperceptibly, before narrowing back into Supergirl’s persona. “ _Never do that again!”_

Lucy was still pointing, still glaring, still standing tall in her DEO issue boots and looking ready to kill an invincible alien – but anger was gone from her voice. Now, it was fear that drove Lucy’s mind into a panic.

“I didn’t know he was the Prince! I couldn’t just let him go up there alone!”

“You just _vanished_ into _space_!”

A pause.

“Oh.”

“ _Oh_ is right!” Lucy’s breathing was shallow, her heart slamming against her rib cage, making her feel lightheaded.

“I radioed down.”

“ _You radioed-“_ Pinching the bridge of her nose, Lucy took one cooling breath which did exactly nothing to calm the fear raging in her chest. “For ten minutes I thought I had lost another Danvers sister – For _ten minutes_ all I could imagine was you being teleported to the other side of the universe.”

Wide eyed, Kara didn’t even try to rebut.

“Do you understand? Do you understand that I can’t lose you too Kara?”

“I’m sorry Lucy,” she whispered, biting her lip. “Really, I didn’t think. It won’t happen again.”

After a moment, Lucy exhaled harshly and nodded – It was too hard to stay mad at her anyway, the giant puppy. Kara raised her hand, wiggling her fingers in offering, warming Lucy’s still racing heart.

Breathing out a laugh, she reached back, tangling their fingers. “I’m going to hold you to that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... it ended on a happier note then the last chapter? Plus, the Alex/El scene was one of the first I wrote, so it has a particular place in my heart.


	6. July: Anger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Some slightly more graphic than cannon-typical violence ahead. I'm not a particularly graphic violence enjoyer, so hopefully it isn't too bad. If anyone thinks that there is a more serious warning required, please let me know!

**PERSONAL LOG: 5IC K’LESR (#6)**

**[Extract for the Public Domain]**

“… so we decided that it would be easier to navigate around the galaxy, given the reputation of the-“ K’lesr’s report to their wife was cut off by the ship literally shuddering. Looking around, confused, they started to stand, leaving only their upper thighs and the waist visible.

They took a step towards the left, leaving themselves barely in frame, but audio was still being picked up. There was shouting, and the groaning of protesting metal. The ship gave another shudder, and K’lesr suddenly vanished out of frame, boots thundering towards the voices.

For the next five minutes, no one returned. All that was being recorded was the sounds of shouting, the engines screaming and metal caving somewhere nearby. Gunfire began abruptly, followed immediately by chaotic and frantic screams. The whole frame shook with another collision, the camera tilting slightly.

Then a man ran into frame. Clearly alien and dressed in the black uniform of the Exodus crew. He stumbled into the center of the room, tumbling onto his knees. He was covered in grit, blood already dripping down his temple, but he turned to face the direction he came, his jaw firm against whatever was coming.

“Yui verr maqar sas uis oreqa!” He shouted, defiance in his every word, which did nothing to prevent the blast of green that slammed into his chest, slamming him flat on his back. From the corner of the frame, another man entered. He was too large to be human, arms too long and head too wide. Not to mention the horns protruding from his chin.

He walked over to the fallen man, pressing his foot down on his chest. He coughed up blood in response, a shuddering breath escaping from his purple lips.

The giant seemed to laugh, a horrible empty sound. Before raising his gun again, aiming directly between the fallen man’s eyes.

“Hey, ugly!” Another shout from out of frame drew the giant’s attention. Looking up, he turned his body, drawing his gun up.

He never did get to fire, because the axe thrown from out of frame embedded itself in his chest, nearly lifting him off his feet and landing him flat on his back. He did manage to raise his head and look down at the offending wound with wide eyes, but little else. Blood had begun to drip down his chin as a third figure ran into frame.

Alex Danvers, dressed in only white breast binding and the black tac pants from the day before, completely ignored the downed giant, sliding to her knees beside the first man. She wasn’t even wearing shoes. Pressing her fingers against his shoulder, she muttered something unintelligible over the sounds of battle in the background.

“Le’ra, dude, you gotta work with me here…” she muttered, barely picked up by the footage, pressing her hand against the open wound in his chest. Meanwhile, the invader started to cough blood, weakly trying to grab at the axe rooted in his chest cavity – something Alex’s eyes zeroed in on quick.

“Don’t you even fucking,” reaching out, she grabbed at the handle of her weapon, lifting one foot to rest on the ground, she leveraged it out of the alien with a jerk. Something exploded behind them, but Alex didn’t spare it a glance. Instead, she pulled back, and with one quick movement, put the sharp end between the giant’s eyes. Blood exploded upwards, splattering her face and chest and decorating the clean binding with green.

“Okay,” she huffed. “You’re probably going to die,” she yanked the weapon out again. “But you’re definitely not dying here,” she lent down once again, keeping the axe in one hand, she shoved an arm underneath the first fallen man. Pulling him upright with a grunt, supporting more than most of his weight, she dragged the man out the right side of the frame.

When the visual clicked off, all that remained was the giant horned man, a pool of dark green blood gathering around his skull.

* * *

LOG: Day 475

PASSENGERS: 139

AUTHOR: DR ALEX DANVERS, GL

The visual clicked in on again with Alex already seated, looking directly into the camera’s lens. Her mouth was set in a hard line, jaw clenched, eyes narrow, hands clasped together with white fingers.

“I asked K’lesr if we could use the end of his entry for these logs,” her voice was calm, contrary to all the body language she was screaming. “If these are supposed to record our authentic experience, then I guess that scene is exactly the right thing to include. Though,” a pause, but her eyes did not shift. “I personally hope that no one from my life _before_ ever has to see that. See me like that.”

Her eyes hardened impossibly more. “We were boarded by a raiding party. They were looking for loot, and probably fuel given our isolated position. Their entire crew boarded at once, though we successfully eliminated them. Fortunately, since the last attack, we had systems in place and procedures, so none of the vulnerable were seriously injured. The extensive training that me and Lyron have been enforcing seems to be effective, as only a dozen lives were lost in what was a full-scale attack.”

Her expression did not shift, but her eyes softened ever so subtly. “Not all that died were members of the original crew, therefore I’m not be able to provide closure to their families. However, they continue to live in our memories,” her voice trailed off, eyes finally dragged downwards. Breathing in once, twice, she looked back at the camera. “To the families of those who were not able to return to Earth, I extend to you my deepest sympathy for your loss.”

A deep breath, then switching gears.

“In regard to a status update – the raid only delayed us by a handful of days, which places us firmly at 34% through our journey. We were also able to board the raiders vessel, which provided us enough fuel and resources to skip the next galaxy altogether, if there are no export jobs worth stopping for. Plus, Ella informs me that the tech onboard should be useful in upgrading our engines.”

Another pause. Long enough to suggest the transmission was over, and Alex was just frozen, staring down the lens of the camera. Then she moved, her eyebrows crinkling, head ducking. She scratched at the back of her neck before looking back up, though no longer maintaining eye contact.

“Due to my actions during the last battle… and some of the losses we suffered, Lyron saw fit to promote me. I now act as a ground leader, which places me directly in the chain of command,” she tugged at the black uniform absently, fingers tucking under the diagonal hem where the pieces of fabric joined. “I did not want this position. I don’t deserve this position. But now that I have it, I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure this team comes home safely. Those that remain, anyway.”

“Darla - I’m done.”

* * *

Kara really couldn’t get on board with the level of caution about the stupid bounty on her life. It’s not like a bunch of rogue aliens posed much risk to the girl of steel. The laser eye patch guy managed all of two minutes of public endangerment. But honestly, the look on Winn’s face when she talked about taking them out one by one was enough to give her pause.

He’d been handling the Alex thing differently to the rest of them; Lucy shut down, then exploded; Maggie has emersed herself in supporting everyone else; J’onn was functioning on willpower and work alone. Even Kara had to admit that she was leaning away from her human side, trying to focus on being Supergirl, because being Kara Danvers sucked right now.

But Winn… Winn came to work, did his job and left. He didn’t laugh or smile or make stupid jokes and comments. He got orders, he followed them. The only breaks in his routine were the five times a day something reminded him of Alex, and he had to go into containment and breathe alone for a minute.

So, when she suggested going after the hunters one by one, Lucy brought up public safety and J’onn had talked about giving the DEO a chance to get ahead. But it was actually the blind panic in Winn’s eyes that had her agreeing.

So, that’s how she found herself half-heartedly playing board games with James and Winn. James had turned off the news and not budged (he’d gotten better at enforcing mental health rules recently) so Kara was left to stew in her thoughts. Which would have been bad enough if she hadn’t heard Mon-El’s heartbeat ascending the stairs.

Signing and straightening her jacket, she was opening the door before he had the chance to let himself in.

“What are you doing here?”

“Can I… come in?” She truly considered just closing the door in his face, but there was an intergalactic manhunt going on, and he was _technically_ a DEO asset. So, she moved out of the way and made sure not to crush her own door when she closed it.

“So? Speak,” she crossed her arms, ignoring the uncomfortable looks from her friends.

“I was just questioning some suspects.”

“Who?” She was not giving him an inch of hospitality.

“My parents.”

“You think your parents ordered the bounty on me?”

“Well, they say they didn't, but I'm not so sure,” he started towards the fridge while she processed that – that was bad. By the time she looked back at him, she had to watch in vague shock as he flicked the lid off a beer. “But I’ve been thinking of solutions to our problem!”

“I’m sorry, our problem?”

“Yeah! And I think we should run for our lives,” he actually smiled a little, taking a sip. “So there's this planet that a Durlan emissary told me about when I was a kid. It's got water, and a yellow sun-“

“Stop,” she stepped over and snatched the bottle out of his hands, ignoring his exclamation. Slamming it on the table, she turned back to him. “What part of, _I can’t be with you_ , was unclear to you? And even if that was unclear, what makes you think that I would _run away_ from my family?”

“Well, you know,” even he seemed to realize that this was going differently than he pictured in his head. Glancing at the other guys at the apartment seemed to indicate they were in fact going _horribly_. “I thought, ‘cause you don’t really have a lot of family left here, it would be easier to just be somewhere safe?”

Suddenly there was a roaring in Kara’s ears, which had nothing to do with her super hearing. In her peripheral vision she saw Winn’s head drop and James move to comfort him.

Narrowing her eyes, she advanced a step. “I don’t really have a lot of family left here?”

His eyes widened but she didn’t even give him a chance to backtrack – ice saturated her tone. “Blood doesn’t make a family Mon-El – and if you haven’t learnt that by now, you never will. And even if me and you were this functional couple and I had nothing tying me to Earth… Just forget about us for one second. Do you even understand the second chance you've been given?”

She took a deep breath, trying to hold on the shreds of her rational thought. “You thought you were the last Daxamite and you're not. Your people are alive. Your parents… your family are alive. They need you. They love you. And… you’re just going to throw that chance away? For me? A broken girl who broke up with you?”

Taking another breath, she tried to soften her tone again. “My parents are dead, and my sister is _missing._ Do you know what most of us would give to have the chance you do? Why are you fighting this so hard?”

“Kara,” he glanced at the guys, looking uncomfortably at the other men in the room. “I love you.”

“But I can’t love you,” pinching her nose, she wished she’d had Maggie or Lucy over as well – she needed different backup. “If your parents placed the bounty, they’re putting innocent people in danger. If you actually want to be a hero Mon-El, you’ll talk to them, and give them what they want - You're a prince, so start acting like it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To anyone who likes Mon-El, I'm sorry! But, I rewatched these episodes and it honestly feels like Alex is the reason Kara gives him so many chances. And without her, in the context of her being missing and that being the thing swamping everyones emotional capacity... I just can't see Kara giving him the same time of day.


	7. August: Bargaining

**PERSONAL LOG: DR ALEX DANVERS, GL (#2)**

\- Director J’onn J’onzz, DEO -

Alex was leaning, somewhat awkwardly, against the armrest when the camera blinked on. One foot was on the floor, while the other braced on the arm, her elbow on her knee as she scratched at the shaved side of her head. She was not looking at the camera, but off to the left of the frame as she listened to someone speak. Once they finished, she bit her lip to suppress a grin.

“I’ll be there in a minute love,” the smile could be _heard_ in Alex’s voice.

“Yeah, but I gotta be in the kitchen by the next light!” a younger voice shouted back.

“Well you best let me get on with it then, huh?” The single raised eyebrow seemed to preclude another response from out of frame and Alex chucked to herself, muttering “preteens” under her breath as she twisted around and into a more respectable seating position.

“Sorry,” she smiled crookedly, “I promised Ky I’d take her down to the engine room while most of the upper command is on-world. But I also promised Freyer that I would try to do another video for you guys before the next cycle…”

Tugging her sleeves over her hands, Alex smiled into the lens, one of the more genuine smiles ever provided to these logs.

“I’m sorry I haven’t done more of these,” she paused, biting the inside of her cheek. “It’s just hard. Trying to imagine talking to you guys. Formulate the words and sentences which might explain how much I miss you…” Her smile faded, as she breathed carefully through her nose, pressing a sleeve covered hand over her heart, rubbing absently.

“But Freyer said to talk like you were here, and that you will understand what I’m trying to say, just because I’m trying. She also said that… I was probably stalled because trying to unpack everything I feel for all of you at once was too… daunting. Too much for an afternoon.” She smiled to herself, “too much for the quarter-light Ky is giving me before I am forcibly removed from the room.”

“So… J’onn. I’m starting with you cause, I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. You, and everything you did for me. I ah… I’ve been trying really hard to use what you taught me. I know this…” she dragged her hand through the air, “isn’t actually what you had in mind when you plucked me outta that drunk tank, but I’m trying to be that person you told me I could be.”

She smiled, nostalgia tainting her tone, eyes wandering. “But… you know, I’ve been thinking about that day a lot? There’s a... lot of down time here. Do you remember what you told me? That I owed it to myself… that I owed it to my…” Running her tongue over her bottom lip and twisting the corners of her sleeves, Alex looked back with renewed vigor. “That I owed it to my father, not to throw my life down the drain.”

“At the time… that’s what I needed to hear. I know you know that, you probably,” she tapped the side of her head knowingly. “But I didn’t do it for him. Or even me, really, not at first. After a while… I didn’t realize it, but I was doing it for you? Trying to prove that you made the right choice, that you were right when you chose me.”

She chuckled, pausing to release her hands from their sleeve prisons, flexing her fingers out. “You kicked my ass every day, 12 hours a day, for five straight months in that stupid room. And somewhere along the way, I became someone strong. Someone I could be proud of. But, it was you, J’onn. You gave me purpose and a direction, and you were the first person who told me I was special,” her voice cracked. “That I was worth something – something more than letters on a transcript, or in how my life could hide Kara’s.”

She inhaled shakily, eyes rimmed red. “You made me strong… strong enough to do everything I have to do to survive. To make sure these people have a chance at surviving. So… Thank you. For everything. For saving me and letting me save others. And believing in me, so that even when I doubt myself out here, I have someone else to lean on – who believed in me when there wasn’t anything worth believing in.”

Leaning back, she smiled, damp eyes crinkling just around the edges. “I miss you. Especially when everything goes to hell, and I can’t just be the reckless asshole that goes solo to save the day… We know how well that worked the last time anyway. And I’ve caught myself thinking in circles about that whole thing. What if I had just _listened to you_? What if I had taken Kara as backup? Or even Maggie? What if I had called you ten minutes earlier? If only I’d talked Dad down, or stopped Lillian, or, or…” She leaned back with a sigh, glancing to the ceiling as if looking for answers written up there.

“I can practically hear you telling me about living with regret, and just making the next best decision you can, with the information at hand. But… I just itch to ask you for the appropriate, reasonable course of action, and actually listen this time. So, I try really hard to do what I think you’d want, instead of what my gut tells me to do… I think you’d be proud of me,” she smiled sadly. “I hope your proud of me. Even after… everything that I have to do up here.”

“Sometimes…” breathing in some more confidence, she started again. “Sometimes, I feel like I have to change up here as well. Just like in that room, four years ago. That I have to be stronger, be… something else entirely. Like I’m shedding an old skin for something tougher and… sometimes… sometimes…” she stuttered to a stop, heart faltering in her chest as she whispered a dark thought into existence. “Sometimes I think the Alex Danvers that got on that ship has to die, so that a more twisted version can make sure we get home.” 

“Allllleeeeeex! Come ON!” jerking up and looking away from the voice, she swiped a hand over her eyes, forcing a more neutral expression before she turned back.

“That was not a quarter-light,” the forced cheer was thinly veiled, but the not-quite teenager that suddenly leaned into the shot clearly had other things on her mind. She rested her chin on the back of the chair, at the corner, so her profile was visible, and she could direct pleading eyes at the seated women. 

Relaxed waves of dark hair falling to her chin obscuring most of her face. However, a wide whiskey colored eye was visible, including the hint of dampness, carefully calculated to add conviction to her begging – if only the slight curl of her lips didn’t give away genuine excitement.

“Nah ah,” Alex grinned, turning to give the girl her full attention, a genuine smile lighting her face. “You have no idea who you’re messing with. My sister invented puppy-dog eyes – pack it in!” She playfully shoved a hand into the offending face, forcing a giggle from the girl who did indeed step away and drop the act.

Slipping behind the chair altogether, Ky looked directly into the camera with a grin. “You have my sincerest apologies family of Alex,” Alex rolled her eyes, tilting her head directly back at a sharply awkward angle to try and watch Ky’s antics. “For both the fact that you consider such a boring human a friend, AND for the fact that she has a previous engagement which requires her attention,” she looked down sharply, the pair now facing each other, necks complaining at the angle as their faces became parallel with the floor. “And she proooooomised!”

“Okay, okay,” huffing, Alex stood. Making sure to ruffle Ky’s hair roughly, tugging on a handful so that she looked over at her. “Just give me a minute to sign off, alright?”

“Fiiiiine,” but the girl grinned, already heading off the way she came and disappearing from the shot.

Alex didn’t sit back down, but instead braced her hands on the table the camera was mounted on. “Alright, you heard the girl, I’m needed elsewhere,” she softly laughed to herself. “And you shouldn’t keep a lady waiting. I love you guys, and… I promise to do more of these.” 

* * *

Maggie wasn’t home yet, which was odd because she had her schedule pinned to the fridge and her shift ended two hours ago. But in their line of work, shifts were unreliable things, and it was still early in the evening. So, Lucy wasn’t worried.

Well, okay – Lucy was willing to admit that she was a _little_ worried. But not the rational kind of worry that warranted endless phone calls and tracking the Detective’s phone. The kind of worry she knew was born out of the fact that she’d already lost one girlfriend this year and she was not prepared to risk another.

So, it was irrational. Therefore, she could control herself. 100%.

Her worry had nothing to do with how she was now stress cleaning the bedroom. Nothing to do with how she organized, then reorganized the closet (ignoring how Alex’s stuff was gradually shifting further back in the closet). She was definitely, 100% _not_ giving the bed military corners even her father would be proud of, just because her girlfriend was going to be twenty minutes late to dinner.

The scrapping of the key in the lock had Lucy up in a shot – halfway down the bedroom stairs by the time Maggie shouldered her way in.

Dropping her gym bag at the door (which she knew drove Lucy nuts), she locked it behind her, briefly resting her forehead against the wood before turning. 

“Hey Lane,” she murmured, heading towards the fridge. “How was your day?”

“Where’ve you been?” She tried to keep accusation out of her voice, but she wasn’t completely successful.

“Gym,” she unscrewed a water bottle, taking a sip as she leaned back against the counter.

“For two hours?”

Maggie bit her lip, placing the bottle to the side. “Had some stuff to work out.”

 _Oh god,_ Lucy’s mind spun out. _This is it – she’s realized that I never belonged in this life – that she doesn’t want me without Alex._

“What kind of stuff?” She tried to keep panic out of her voice, so it just came out strangled, crossing her arms against the incoming rejection.

“Me stuff,” Maggie shrugged back, picking at the label. 

“Care you share with the class?”

“Not really.”

Silence.

Lucy felt her heart race, palms begin to sweat – Maggie, eyes fixed on the bottle in her hand, didn’t seem to notice the escalating situation.

“Look, I get it– It was always you and Alex plus me, so don’t even worry about it, okay?”

Maggie’s head snapped up, a confused “what?” escaped her lips, but Lucy had already retreated into the bedroom. Putting the water to the side, she ventured around the island to get a better angle into the bedroom. “Lucy?”

But the sight of Lucy digging around in the just cleaned closet for her suitcase had Maggie up the stairs in a heartbeat – confused, worried eyes watching the other women carefully. “What is happening right now?”

Lucy threw her old army duffel into the center of the bed, already trying to think about her next move was. Her old lease was up – she’d taken the last of her possessions. Hadn’t even been more than a single trip – furniture had come with the lease and almost everything had migrated already. James’ maybe?

“Lane, stop,” Maggie was suddenly in front of her blocking the closet, hands raised in surrender. “What’s the matter? What are you doing?”

“Look, Sawyer, we don’t have to drag this out,” she said, eyes elsewhere, hands trembling.

“Drag _what_ out?” Cautious half step forward, ducking to catch her eyes. Carefully not making physical contact, not when Lucy was so clearly upset.

“You’re ending us, right? That’s why you’ve been gone before I wake up every day this week, coming home later and later, shutting me out.”

Eyes wide and horrified, Maggie took another half step closer. “No! No, that’s not it _at all_.”

Lucy kept her arms locked around herself, grinding her teeth against any tears. 

“Lane, look at me, hey,” Maggie’s fingers were phantom touches against her chin, but it worked, burning eyes locked with apologetic ones. “That’s not it at all, okay? I’m not leaving you, ever. I lo… I want to be with you, Lucy.”

She kept suspicious eyes on Maggie but relaxed her shoulders an inch.

“I… I’m so sorry I made you feel like this was even an option. I never want you to think that I don’t _want_ you, okay?”

Luck swallowed her insecurity. “I know that I haven’t been the easiest to live with recently.”

“Hey, no –“ Maggie shook her head, left dimple popping as she frowned, fighting tears. “You’re fine. This situation is impossible – you’re allowed to feel whatever it is your feeling Luce.”

“Then what’s going on with you?”

A long pause, Maggie crossing her own arms. Shut herself down.

“Nothing,” she muttered, shaking her head. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Sawyer,” dropping her hands. “If I have to feel my feelings, so do you.”

“Look,” she stepped to the side, looking ready to leave the room, as if there was anywhere to hide in this stupid open space. “It’s nothing okay? Just had some stuff to work through.

“Whoa,” grabbing a retreating wrist, the Director tugged until she turned her body back towards her. After a long moment of Maggie just staring at the ground, ignoring the increasingly worried eyes, Lucy pulled the captured wrist to their eye level. “Does whatever this is have something to do with why you’re not wrapping your hands on the heavy bag anymore?”

Brows furrowed further, and she half-heartedly attempted to tug her hand away, but Maggie didn’t disagree.

Placing a kiss to the red, angry knuckles, Lucy stepped right into the other women’s space. Using her other hand to touch under her chin, waiting until Maggie locked eyes with her.

“I know you don’t like talking about yourself, but if something is bothering you, I want to help.”

In the silence that stretched out, Lucy watched in mild surprise as Maggie’s eyes grew red, and glassy, even as her jaw clenched against it. She could count on one hand the time’s she’d seen Maggie Sawyer cry. 

“Mags,” she breathed, finally giving up the pretense of space and dragging her girlfriend into her arms. Tucking her arms around the women’s neck, she pressed her face against her hair. After a moment’s hesitation, she felt a forehead notch itself into her neck, arms locking around her waist. They stood there for minutes, allowing Maggie the time to control her shuddered breathing and shaking hands – time to swallow whatever it was that was overwhelming her.

Tugging herself away, she looked away and wiped at the few escaped tears.

“Come here,” retrieving her lost wrist, Lucy tugged the other women all the way onto the bed until she was sitting against the headboard, Maggie tucked against her side, arm over her waist. “If you really don’t want to talk about it, I won’t make you. But sometimes it’s easier to talk without having to look at the other person. So, we’ll just sit here and snuggle until you’re ready to order dinner, or we can talk. No pressure either way, yeah?”

She tucked a stray lock of hair behind the women’s ear before sinking more heavily into the pillows, her arm wrapped around Maggie’s back drawing absent minded patterns over her shirt.

“Its my fault,” fingers froze for only a moment. “Alex… I should have gone with her after we got the location. I should have been there with her.”

Her girlfriends harsh breathed confession made her want to crumble. Made her want to shower her in reassurances and love – but Maggie had been holding this in for almost five months. She needed to get it all out.

“She was just so _sure_ she could save them – save everyone. And she always _had_ – I didn’t really think anything could ever actually happen to her. So I stayed behind, just so I could give the DEO a heads up – but I failed! She-“ Maggie’s entire body started to heave with her sobs, but Lucy just squeezed tighter, letting her get it all out. “She got on that ship alone and I _let her._ I should have told her not to go after Jeramiah or… or told you what we were planning or Kara or J’onn – but I _didn’t_ and now she’s _gone_.”

Alex’s shirt, that Lucy stole for cleaning, was balled between a fist, Maggie completely dissolving against her side. Choked tears falling freely – finally letting it go.

After several minutes, while Maggie used the heartbeat against her ear to try regulate her breathing, Lucy pressed a kiss against loose brown hair. “I don’t know if you know this, but Alex Danvers has never been someone who _lets_ anything get in the way of a plan.”

The crying girl was shaking her head, but she pushed on. “Whether you had been there or not, there was nothing anyone could do. If you hadn’t helped and tipped us off, we might not have even known there was a ship leaving the atmosphere. Kara might have been even later, and Alex would still be gone. It was not your fault.”

Fresh tears were falling, and she kept shaking her head. “Alex was going to do what Alex was going to do. The moment she decided that she needed to stop her father, everyone around her was helpless to do anything about it. Do you blame J’onn, because he benched her? Or Kara because she couldn’t stop the ship? Hell, even me, ‘cause I didn’t back you guys?”

“No! Never, no,” Maggie pulled away enough to lock eyes, make sure that Lucy understood that this guilt – it rested with her alone.

Pressing a hand to her wet cheek, Lucy curled a lip, eyes loving and worried – “Then stop blaming yourself. There is nothing you could have done. This isn’t your fault, Mags.”

Squeezing her eyes closed against the reassurance, more tears escaped. Lifting her other hand to cradle the Detectives face, she waited for her to open her eyes again. “Seems we’ve both been carrying around a lot of stuff, huh?”

A single, choked, laugh escaped so Lucy took the opportunity to lean a little closer, pressing their foreheads together. “I think we need to work on our communication – Without Alex here to chaotically smash through emotional doors I think we got complacent.”

Laughing again, even through a couple more tears, Maggie offered a more genuine smile.

“So how about, we both agree that from now on we try to talk about our feelings, like the grown ass women we are, hmmm?”

“I can certainly try.”

“Good. Because it’s started raining and Kara was on patrol so she’s probably going to show up soaking wet any minute and we need to order extra pot stickers,” another laugh and smile.

Smiling back, she pressed their lips together. The kiss was salty and wet, but also soft and full of love. Maggie’s hands coming up to tangle in her shirt, bruised knuckles brushing Lucy’s abdomen. It probably would’ve gone on longer, but the window was suddenly opening. Kara, already babbling about Jack Spheer and Lena being too good for him, landed in their kitchen, dripping wet.

So, the couple broke apart, smiling softly at each other, backed in their love for one final moment. They had a soggy Kryptonian to take care of.

* * *

**PERSONAL LOG: DR ALEX DANVERS, GL (#3)**

\- Agent Winslow Schott II, DEO -

The room was bathed in the muted night cycle lighting when the camera clicked on. It tinted the room orange, and cast shadows over Alex’s face, hunched over as she was. Instead of her uniform she was dressed only in a tank top, loose pants and a blanket which she draped over her shoulders. Her hands fisted in the corners of the warm material, drawing it tighter around herself as if to keep out an impossible chill.

For a minute she didn’t move, eyes trained in her crossed legs, breathing evenly, carefully.

When she looked up, the rooms red tint highlighted the tracks on her face. “Winn,” her voice broke on the word immediately, and she looked back down. Breathing for another minute, slow, steady, deliberate, she tried again. “Winn,” her voice still broke, but she pushed through. “I miss you so much. And… and I don’t know if I deserve that privilege.”

“When I think about what I could have done differently, I always circle back to that last conversation we had in central command. Or… I guess not a conversation. The last time we spoke…” the blanket pulled tighter. “It’s one of the things that I regret most. And I regret… so much about what happened, Winn, but the fact that I-“

Tears choked the words from her, and a single broken sob echoed in the room. “The fact that I was the reason you hurt so much… that you lost Lyra and you knew that it was my fault. Mine, and my fathers. And I just… You were so angry and scared and I just wish I had backed you Winn. I wish I could go back and…”

Alex looked up and away, clenching her jaw uselessly as fresh tears escaped. “I am just so sorry for my role… in everything that happened. I am so sorry that I couldn’t fix everything, like I promised. And I just- I just miss you so much. I wouldn’t have admitted it under oath, but you… you’re my brother Winn. The little brother that I never knew I wanted, and I didn’t protect you- I… I let you down and… I just wish I could take it all back. Wish I had done something, anything differently… I should have protected you… I should have saved her… I’m so sorry Winn- I… I…”

Her voice completely dissolved, gasping breaths echoing around the room as Alex lost her composure in the middle of the night cycle. Alone, and desperate for a brother’s forgiveness which she may never receive.

* * *

Watching Lena talk about her ex had been an experience. A confusing, mystifying, upsetting experience. The curling in her stomach at Lena’s smile when she spoke of their garage experiments; the ache behind her eyes when Lena gasped in wonder at his invention; the clenching of her jaw when she overheard him asking her out for dinner. All very confusing, and it made the overwhelming urge to call Alex that much harder. 

But as weird as that all felt, the sorrow and pain at the decision Lena made, to save her life, remained. As much as she didn’t understand her own reaction, Lena needed someone. And Kara was that someone. So here she stood, pushing into the CEO’s office, ignoring the fluttering in her gut.

Lena's voice was mechanical when she spoke, body stiff at the chair. “Those are beautiful.”

She flexed her jaw but pushed on. “I wish there was more I could do to help,” Kara murmured back, placing the sad flowers she’d bought down on her coffee table.

“No, you came to see me, that’s more than enough,” Kara winced at the implication that no one else had come by. That no one else knew this woman was hurting. For all Kara’s lifetime of heartache, she’d never had to do it alone.

“Beth is in jail-“

“Good.” Her eyes narrowed, just a little.

Softening her own expression, Kara sat down next to her on the too white sofa in the too cold office. “How are you holding up?” A question she’d received in all its forms over the last four months, and never had an answer for. But it’s just what humans said. 

Lena’s eyes were absent when she responded, and Kara understood the feeling. “When Lex was arrested, my mother was there. She saw her son dragged, bleeding and raving from her house. And when I got there, Lillian was tidying his room like he'd been away on a business trip.” She paused, eyes shining and took a single breath to control the reaction.

“That's how I feel. Cold and calm,” then ice entered her eyes. “Until I think about Beth dying in jail, and then I feel warm for a minute.”

Kara thought about what her reaction would have been four months ago – Before. She thought about how she’d probably have told Lena she was in shock, and she couldn’t possibly want that – feel that. 

“I understand,” she practically whispered back. Because she did – because the thought of Lillian Luthor or Cadmus (or Jeramiah, in her darker moments) made her blood turn cold and rage boil in her heart.

“Oh god, Kara,” steel fled her eyes, and horror filled them. “I… I didn’t even think about Lillian, and Alex, I’m-“

“Hey, no. You’re okay. Loss does strange things to people, don’t worry.”

A pause. “Loss does strange things to my family, and I’ve lost a lot of people.”

Kara nodded. Nodded and empathized and thought about her own dead planet and lost love. Put an arm behind her on the couch carefully, arm draping over her shoulder. “Well, you're not gonna lose me. I’m not going anywhere”

“Promise?”

“I will always be your friend,” Kara breathed, pressing the side of her head against Lena’s, breathing in her expensive perfume and absorbing the slight tremor of her body. “And I will always protect you.” Swallowing her own doubt, her own loss, her own failure – the what if’s – she let a tear escape. “I promise,” and this time she hoped she could keep it.


	8. September: Bargaining

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up, I cut a sex scene from this chapter. This was for two reasons. One, I wanted people who don't enjoy that kind of fiction to be able to read without just skipping a chunk. Two, because I think the juxtaposition was actually a little too extreme. A lot of these next few chapters are about the contrast between the story lines, and how far apart they are getting contextually, but the scene was just too light compared to what's going on with Al. 
> 
> To anyone who wants to read the original scene, I'm going to add it to the series as it's own story, along with anything else I write which doesn't fit into the main fic (like Shared Sky).

LOG: Day 608

PASSENGERS: 145

AUTHOR: DRYL, Formerly of the Tormock Empire

Head bio-mechanic of the Exodus

For the very first time, Alex Danvers did not stand before the camera for a log entry. Instead, a man, eyes clear and direct, dark skin lined with protruding ridges running symmetrically across his face. His posture was painfully upright, his hands robotically resting on each knee.

“Hello, Family of Doctor Doctor Alex Danvers,” his voice was clear and deliberate and stilted, as if he had practiced beforehand. “I wish to add ‘Supervisory Special Agent’ or ‘Ground Leader’ to her title, but Alex informs me such extended phrasing is unnecessary. However, I refuse to drop the second Doctor – PhD’s and MD’s are individual feats which should be recognized.”

He paused, mouthed something silently (to the trained eye, he was counting down from three in his native tongue), and then continued. “This is a public domain log entry, but I address it to the family of Alex due to the circumstances, which I will explain.” Another pause, shorter.

“Two cycles ago – my apologies. ‘Cycles’ are the standardized unit we judge a day by, as every galaxy has separate methods,” nodding, satisfied with his explanation, he continued. “Four cycles ago there was an engine malfunction. It occurred during a risky travel maneuver which pilot Scho’ty,” - his pronunciation differed greatly from Alex’s ‘Scotty,’ alien vocal cords pitching rhythmically – “deemed necessary to safely transverse an unavoidable asteroid field.”

“The action required all crew to be secured to a designated seat, as the gravity simulators made being loose within the vessel dangerous to one’s life. This was more so for Alex, as she is only human.” Another pause, longer. He seemed to actually gather his thoughts, fingers pressing into his knees.

“Alex was on the bridge when the malfunction occurred, therefore was privy to Scho’ty’s explanation of the error. He explained that the ship was rapidly losing power, making the asteroid field significantly less survivable. It was determined that someone would have to manually attend to the problem. However, no secure seating exists in the engine room.”

Another pause, more loaded. He blinked just a second too slowly. “Despite the fact that the ship was making violent and sudden turns, which put anyone in significant danger if unrestrained, Alex volunteered. She unstrapped and ran from the room before anyone could stop her, though I can attest that many shouted very angry things. I do not know if she heard.”

“She has received training in mechanics since entering the ship, from myself and others. She believes I do not know she does it for the sake of her teenager, but I know. This made it possible for her to fix the problem, and the ship eventually regained its speed and power. Within the light – again, my apologies. A light approximates an hour, measured by the lights flickering between 1 and 12 times during each day and night cycle. Within the light we had escaped the field, however, Alex never returned to her seat.”

“I had hoped this meant she was seated elsewhere or had done a ‘MacGyver’ - a reference I do not understand but have come to realize means she does something very stupid without the correct tools, but it works anyway. This was not the case.”

“We found her still in the engine room,” another pause, more emotional this time. His voice had lost the flat tone, and suddenly a more living creature sat before them. “Among other things, the necessary fix required a loose fitting be screwed behind the machine. Typically, several species-specific crew members are tasked with heavy lifting, including moving the engine for repairs. Alex had no such assistance, thus used a jack to create enough space.”

For the first time, his face twitched, the skin between his eyes tightening, and he took forty seconds before he continued. “We hypothesize that Alex had her arm between the gap when the ship rotated, causing the jack to slip free. As a result, the engine crushed Alex’s arm, and she remained trapped there for the full light while we continued through the field.”

He paused again, eyes still fixed on the camera, but his composure was slipping. “She had already lost consciousness due to blood loss, and it took us some time before we were able to lift the engine in a manner which would not cause her more injury. Several other injuries have been revealed, though not life threatening, likely resulting from her being thrown against walls as the ship rotated on her journey to the engine.”

“One of the medics she trained managed to stabilize her condition. An engine rods punctured her forearm and pulverized her hand, causing the blood loss and making it highly improbable that anything from her elbow down was salvageable. With support from her friends onboard, and the teenager, we amputated from just below the joint. We do not know if further measures will need to be taken for the remaining arm.”

“She has yet to regain consciousness. This is normal for the type of trauma. I have seen this many times during my work in biomechanics, so I am not concerned.” He looked concerned, but no one was around to comment.

“My people, the Tormocks, are a cruel, vicious race, who use our ability to blend machine and biology to commit great acts of terror and violence. I have been trying to unwind that reality since I sought refuge on Earth and will continue to do so by helping Alex Danvers over the next period of her life.”

He nodded once, assuring himself that this was the truth. “I swear on my honor, Family of Doctor Doctor Alex Danvers, I will do everything in my power to help her regain use of her lost arm. Or, as Ella tells me, redefining the use of that arm, if Alex so chooses.”

“And-“ finally, he seemed to be speaking off script, voice halting. “I am sorry for the pain that saving us caused her. This is not the first time I have witnessed her self-sacrifice and bravery. I thank you for helping her become the women she is today, and I…” Another pause, a hesitation, then determination lit his eyes. “And I swear on my _crest_ that I will do everything in my power to bring her home to you.”

“Darla, I have completed the message.”

* * *

LOG: Day 610

PASSENGERS: 144

AUTHOR: JOHN SMITH

“Dryl asked me to make another entry log thing while Alex is unavailable,” the individual before the camera was completely humanoid. To the _trained_ eye, he was completely undisguisable from human beings, and in fact embodied the ‘white man’ aesthetic to a tee. So normal, it was almost weird.

“I think he feels like he did a bad job last time,” he swayed his head to each side a couple of times, as if weighing up the performance. “I don’t know about that, but I’m happy to step in. Though I won’t be addressing this to Alex’s family or whatever. That’d be weird – Plus Alex is kinda scary and I don’t wanna like… piss of any equally scary relatives or somethin’.”

“So, some shaddy shit went down while Alex was unconscious. One of the mid-tier command guys used his weird tech arm to hack the drive with everyone’s personal letters and the such – which is gross and invasive and whatever. But also, like, super bad for Alex cause apparently she said some stuff about her role in our Earthly deportation?”

“Like, apparently she kept apologizing? And something about not stopping her dad? I think the general idea is that her Pa was in cahoots with the Luthor women – you know? The anti-alien wackoo? – and Alex knew and didn’t stop ‘em?”

He tilted his head, pulling on the edge of his ear as he thought aloud. “I mean, if I were Alex, I probably wouldn’t’a told anyone, if she did have something to do with it. I remember like, week two or something, people found out she was DEO and completely lost it! They like, beat the ever-living shit outta her and wanted to do some kind of barbaric public execution.”

“Anyway! Doesn’t really matter what actually happened, cause this dickwad decides he knows what happened, and Alex had definitely, 100% contributed to our being teleported to the other side of the freaken’ universe. Even though she was on board too! Urgh, whatever. And goes straight to Lyron about it, with the footage and everything, in the middle of the mess during breakfast.”

“And Lyron’s all silent during this guy’s whole spiel, and the room goes all silent as everyone, like, processes this information. Aside from Vik, the medic assigned to Alex, all Alex’s, like, allies or friends or whatever, are sitting across the mess together, real tense like. I mean, Ky started to kinda inch towards the exit, as if she could jump ship with the Doc and save her singlehandedly.”

“Then, like in those real bad movies, half the hall erupts – shouting and hollering and bangin’ their bowls and plates and the such. Makin a ruckus about ‘justice’. Meanwhile, Ky fuckin vanishes, and the pro-Alex table gets to their feet and prepares to like, bolt for the door? I don’t know – save Alex seemed to be the general idea – but how, you’d have to ask them. I just wanted to eat my rations in peace, ya know?”

“So Lyron stands up right, all silent in that real serious way he does? Like, this is the kinda guy that can just stand up and people watch,” suddenly impossibly more animated, John lifts his feet off the ground, so he is crouched on the chair. “So, he stands up, and steps onto a bench, then straight onto the freaken’ table, and raises a hand – that’s it! Just raises his hand and the whole hall gets reeeeal quiet and tense, ‘cause you can just tell that judgement is about to be passed. Then he pauses the motherfucker, just to make sure that everyone is paying attention.”

“Then he goes,” John lowered his voice comically, “ _even if what Brokma says is true_ – long pause - _and Alex Danvers’ father is responsible for our exile, we cannot hold her responsible._ And the whole angry half of the hall gets super riled up again, and Lyron just like, waits it out for a moment before raising his freaken hand again! And everyone shuts up! Magic, man, let me tell you. Then he says,” bringing his voice back down to Lyron’s register, practically bouncing on the chair. “ _Alex Danvers has done nothing but help this crew and our mission. I cannot believe she wanted to be banished alongside us, and her actions the day we left speak to her rescue attempts. Therefore! I choose to believe that Dr Alex Danvers is a hero, both to the original members of the Exodus crew who were deported, and to everyone aboard this ship today, who only enjoy life because Alex Danvers was willing to gamble her own. A gamble, need I remind you; she pays for this very moment_.”

Grinning manically now, the man hops back down to sit properly on edge of the seat, leaning towards the camera. “And shit man – the whole hall instantly cools off. People start to take their seats again, one by one, nodding to each other reasonably and shit, until only the Friends of Alex and the mid-tier douche who started this are left standing. So, like, Lyron steps down until he is back on the floor besides this dickwad and he calmly states – _You, however, violated the privacy of everyone aboard this ship, myself included, and will pay a heavy cost_ – and he reached out and like, snapped his neck. It was so fucking brutal, and everyone just like froze and shit. Even the Friends of Alex got all wide eyed and took their seats real quick. I mean, I’ve seen Lyron do some bonkers shit, but never so… I don’t know… abruptly? Publicly? But MAN I cannot wait for Alex to wake up so we can tell her this story – or show her this recording! Yeah, that’d be more efficient, and she is always talking about making our movements more efficient and shit in training.”

He grinned at himself, self-satisfied. “Cool! So, yeah. Hi Alex! Hope your arms feeling less… gone? Bye Darla!”

* * *

It mostly started as a joke – watching the Sarah Connor Chronicles.

Lucy had been insisting they clear some of the shelves, now that Maggie’s lease was officially up. She had a pretty extensive book collection, and they simply didn’t have the space.

It had taken some negotiation, and a little heart ache, but they’d decided to at least shuffle some of Alex’s things to the closet. Her medical journals weren’t exactly getting a lot of use. Even Maggie understood next to nothing about their contents, and she had a minor in biology.

So, a shared Saturday off turned into an organization session. Lucy was just happy to be reducing the clutter - an open plan apartment wasn’t exactly conducive to her military style cleaning. Maggie was just happy to catch glances of Lucy cleaning in those slightly too short shorts.

It was shuffling through one of the TV shelves that it all started. They’d had a small laugh at Alex’s expense - noting the large array of hot female leads dominating her selection. The closet could be a deep, dark place.

But it was the combination of Lena Headey and Summer Glau that had the girls nodding in agreement, concluding that Alex did, in fact, have taste. As if the two of them weren’t testament themselves. 

So, that’s how Kara found them at the end of the day. Sister’s night had migrated, and she’d picked up Chinese at Lucy’s request. She should have known better than to come in the window – but she’d checked in on their hearts and they didn’t _seem_ to be up to anything inappropriate.

“Oh my god!” Kara spun on her heal, stumbling as her foot caught on her own cape. “What happened to her _face!”_

“Oh! Did you remember my wantons?” Lucy was already investigating the abandoned takeout, Maggie left to pause the movie exactly where Kara wouldn’t want it. 

“What are you two watching!? And _what_ do you have against a good old fashioned romantic comedy!?”

“Terminator!” Maggie called, clearing away their mugs from earlier so they could gather around the coffee table.

“And _why_ is that girl missing a chunk of her _face?”_

Maggie laughed, patting Kara on the shoulder as she approached the sink. “Technically, it’s just fake skin. She’d made entirely made of an endoskeleton – part robot basically.”

Lucy, around her scavenged wanton, mumbled back, “still hot though!” 

* * *

**Medical Log: Bionic Arm (#6)**

Patient: Alex Danvers

Medic: Dryl (Exodus Biomechanic)

Assisting: Vik Foss (Exodus Medic)

The camera flickered on awkwardly, the feed stuttering before coming into focus on the blank ceiling.

“I don’t understand why you insist on this,” a disembodied voice grumbled.

“I know that bionic arms of this caliber are very normal, and not at all cool, where you come from Dryl,” the second, female voice was horse, but chipper. “But where I come from, this is revolutionary. So just, let me have this, hmmm

Suddenly the camera swung around, lifted and maneuvered so that just the eye and forehead of what was clearly some kind of borderline translucent, blue, alien.

“How do you know if it is working without the purple lights?” they asked, the single visible solidly white eye squinting into the lens skeptically.

“If shutter is open!” A fourth voice sang back.

“And a ‘shutter’ is what exactly?” The blue creature inquired, shifting the camera so that it was looking more at their nose then eyes – obviously looking for the mysterious ‘shutter’.

“Oh, for Feys sake, would you just!” The whole device was suddenly snatched away. The angle swung wide, revealing the end of an occupied medical bed, and Dryl’s stiff back as he tinkered with something in front of him.

The camera was adjusted, panning up the bed to reveal a pale, bed bound Alex Danvers. She was resting her chin on the knee tucked against her chest, her right arm wrapped around. The other leg was stretched out, giving a clear visual of the missing left forearm and hand, her bicep and elbow hanging freely, bandaged all the way up to her shoulder. The dressings were also visible where her grey tank left her chest exposed. Despite this, there was some excitement in her eyes, locked as they were on Dryl’s form off frame.

“Don’t know why I bother with you people,” Ella’s voice continued to grumble, shifting the camera slightly ensure its stability. “’What’s a shutter?’ – honestly! This is as bad as Earth.”

“Take a breath El,” Alex turned, smiling to something just above the frame. “Vik’s English is getting better. And not everyone has worked in American universities for half a decade.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever!” She sang back, almost hopping back into frame before scooting onto the bed, to the patient’s right. The bed dipped sharply for a second, making Alex wince, but otherwise she seemed amused by the other women’s antics. “I got you your brand-new portable camera AND I turned it on – I’m gonna bounce. You guys have fun being weird biology nerds, I’m expected down in weapons.”

She planted a hard kiss to the side of Alex’s overgrown undercut, before leaving with the same energy she arrived.

“She is… A lot,” Vik muttered, stepping warily around the camera’s frame, and up to Alex’s bedside.

“She has a good heart,” Alex responded, smiling up at the other medic.

“A… good heart?” Vik did not have eyebrows, but the pinching around her eyes indicated a frown. “How could you know this? Have you… investigated?”

Alex laughed, dropping her knee to lay flat. “No, not literally. That’s just something people say.”

“Ah,” Vik nodded, but did not seem to understand.

“It means she is a good person,” Dryl said with authority. ”’A good heart’ is something idealistic human’s say when they feel they understand another’s intentions to be pure,” he steepled his hands together as the women watched him. “It is not a phrase I believed you would use, Dr Danvers, as it is not empirical.”

“Not everything has to be measurable to be true,” she shot back, still smiling. “Plus, it’s something my sister would always say about people; they have good hearts,” the corners of her lips twitched. “And I’m trying to channel her ‘idealism,’ at the moment,” she lifted her bound shoulder for emphasis. 

“You are incorrect,” Dryl responded, now reaching out to tug at the tucked portion of the bandages. “In order to prove something true, it must be measured. Both of your doctorates mean you know this. However,” he started to unwind carefully; eyes fixed on the task. “I understand that you are speaking metaphorically, and I will grant you this idealism, given your current predicament.”

“Very generous of you,” Alex dryly responded, rolling her eyes to the camera in exasperation.

“Shall I recap our progress up until this point again, Alex?” Vik asked – causing Alex’s eyes to widen comically, amused panic flitting across her face.

“Ah, how about, just for efficiencies sake, you let me?”

“Of course,” Vik nodded, taking a small step back so Alex was unobscured in centre frame, Dryl still carefully unwinding her arm.

“So, because you should have access to the medical logs one through five, I’ll be quick. After my accident, an upper extremity amputation was necessary. Fortunately, my medics apparently listen when I talk because they remembered the importance of maintaining as much length as possible – that saved my elbow joint and is making Dryl’s job much easier.”

“Correct.”

Smiling at the interruption, she looked back at the camera. “The last several sessions have been about rebuilding the damaged muscle, tissue and bone in the remaining arm. This required Dryl to do some creative biomechanical work, and now…” she paused, waiting as Dryl unwound the last of the binding on her shoulder, “I have this.”

This looked like 80% a residual limb – the stump of her arm ending an inch after the elbow – and 20% machine. Her pale skin was still red it met the new tech, but otherwise, it was healed. Her arm, including her shoulder, was now a patchwork of flesh and metal – where the injuries had been too severe, plates and rods and wiring had been placed, fused into her biology using Dryl’s DNA.

“Dryl spent the last couple of weeks working on my upper arm,” she twisted it around, as if evaluating the work herself. “Getting it strong and advanced enough that it can handle phase two.”

“Yes,” Dryl turned away from Alex, but continued talking as he went back to the workbench out of frame. “Alex insisted that she be able to remove any bionic I built for her, as to prevent over-reliance. Therefore, the remaining human parts needed to be upgraded separately as to make her new forearm and hand detachable.”

Alex shrugged, eyeing her new hybrid skin, trying to ignore the way her other hand clenched and unclenched in the hospital blankets. “You never know what can happen in the field.”

Dryl stepped back into frame, now holding phase two – a completely bionic arm. It was obviously designed to cover more than just her forearm, a joint for her elbow and the start of her bicep evident. It was a sleek, shiny grey, plated in what would be the naturally more muscley portions with a darker grey. The most detailed mechanics (aside from the hand) were around the inside of the elbow, a rob and spring mechanism designed to support mobility and strength in the low arm. 

The hand and wrist were a whole other ball game. The arm was essentially with a single metal piece, supported externally with plates and internally with robs. It narrowed down to the wrist, where it simply ended. Instead of connecting directly to the wrist, thus limiting motion and durability, the hand piece was separate, connected to the frame on the inside of the arm.

The hand was detailed mechanical work, all designed as an imitation of the human hand but reinforced - small metal plates arming each knuckle. When Dryl turned it over in his hands, for Alex’s inspection, the whole hand the palm was revealed to be a rubber texture, promoting grip.

“Cool,” She breathed, eyes were wide and locked onto the tech. “Very, very, cool.”

“Well, it is indeed ‘cool’; but we do not yet know if it works,” Dryl nodded, also inspecting the tech with critical eyes. “I am confident that the sensors will be able to pick up the muscle’s electric signals and convert them into intuitive and proportional bionic hand movement. However,” he placed it down, and started to fiddle with the opening by the elbow. “I am concerned that the neural chip we have agreed to test may not be fully functional.”

“Only one way to find out,” she grinned, holding out her arm. Her other hand tightened imperceptibly in the sheets.

Vik suddenly chimed in, while Dryl started to fix the internal socket around the remaining arm. “I must remind you that it may take several cycles before you have any control. Given the type and recentness of the trauma, further rehabilitation to strengthen the muscle sites could be necessary.”

Alex dragged her head around to look at the other women, her lips tugging up, forehead wrinkling. “Are you reminding me of my own lessons?”

“Freyer spoke to me at length about how to ensure mental wellbeing as well as physical. Apparently, false hope and expectations is damaging to the human psyche.”

“Ah,” Alex nodded, still smiling. “you’ve been talking to the shrink. Explains it.”

Vik frowned. “Shrink?”

“Done!” Whatever explanation Alex was about to offer was cut off, Dryl stepping away from the bed.

Everyone seemed to freeze, staring at the prosthetic.

Second ticked by, before Dryl took a small step forward, so the bed was again framed by Alex’s friends. “You must actually move the arm for me to know whether it works, Dr Danvers.”

“Oh,” she murmured, eyes locked on the addition. “Right,” and yet nothing happened for another second. Closing her eyes, breathing one deep breath, Alex slowly clenched her left fist for the first time in weeks.

* * *

“Supergirl!” Kara winced, guilty eyes turning to look at the raging Lucy Lane standing at the door. “What do you think you are doing?”

“Ah… going to work?” She asked. The Directors glare increased in intensity, somehow, and Supergirl found herself shrinking away. Just a little. Because she was Supergirl, in Supergirl clothes, fresh from a Supergirl fight and she would not _shrink_ from a 5’2 women in heels. Lucy didn’t even deem to reply, just continued to glare at Kara’s half standing form. Seconds ticked over, until Kara felt absolutely compelled to fill the silence. “Ah… going home?”

Lucy ticked up an eyebrow, eyes still narrow. “Okay… totally not going home. Pffft…” she was between positions, one leg on the ground baring weight, while the other was aloft, her hands leaning back on the sun bed for balance.

Lucy said nothing still, eyes fixed on the misbehaving Kryptonian. “I’m definitely staying here, under the sun lamps, where I can heal from my recent injury,” Kara finally replied, eyes wide - afraid of the 5’2 women in heels. She shuffled back onto the bed.

“Exactly what I thought,” she finally dropped the eyebrow, but her eyes stayed this side of narrow. Watching the superhero like a hawk as she winced into a lying position. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine.” Silence. “Okay, sore, but nothing serious!”

Lucy finally sighed, though she would never admit the pout softened her a little. “You need to rest. You took a beating today.”

“I stopped a collapsing building!”

“Yeah, but you also ripped up an entire city block with your body, so you need to stay in this bed until you’ve soaked up all the stupid sun rays… or whatever.”

Blowing hair out of her eyes, Kara finally relented. “Fiiiine.”

“Good girl,” Lucy bit back her grin at the flush which spread across Kara’s face at the praise. That makes _both_ Danvers girls – adorable. “Can I get you anything?”

“Can you…” Kara snapped her mouth shut, suddenly very interested in the ceiling. “Nothing, never mind.”

“No, what is it?” Now Lucy was receiving the silent treatment, and that’s simply unacceptable.

Kara bit her lip, the Crinkle™ forming while she considered her option. Considered Alex’s last request. Considered everything Lucy and Maggie and J’onn and Winn had been saying on repeat for the last six months. “Can you… can you stay?”

It came out as more of a whisper, but Lucy still heard it. Her lip quirked as she got closer to the resting women, making sure that their eyes met before she spoke. “Maggie is already on the way with dinner, and I clocked off ten minutes ago.”

“Oh,” Kara blinked, refusing to cry right now, at the DEO, because someone offered to hold her hand while she hurt. “Um, thank you?”

“Anytime Kara,” Lucy smiled down, already eyeing which chair to steal before Maggie arrived. “Anytime.”

* * *

**PERSONAL LOG: DR ALEX DANVERS, GL (#4.1)**

\- Kara Zor-El Danvers -

Alex Danvers was already picking at a pulled thread on her tac pants, even as she stared down the lens with pinched, anxious eyes. She was dressed in all black, her fitted t-shirt embroidered with their Exodus insignia. Scratching at her cheek with her good hand, she sat back and took one steadying breath.

“Hey Kar,” a pause, small smile. “I bet’cha noticed what’s changed, huh?” She waved her prosthetic hand awkwardly.

“I, ah… as in an accident,” wincing at the understated wording, she pushed on. “It wasn’t even doing anything reckless. Or- I guess that’s a lie. Wasn’t anything _needlessly_ reckless. And I’m fine now.”

Looking down at the offending hand, she wiggled the mechanical fingers before clenching them into a fist, grimacing at the grip and adding, “mostly.” 

“It wasn’t even in a fight or anything, just a stupid mechanical failure gone wrong… Wrong-er. One minute I’m mentally high-fiving myself for screwing this stupid bolt without being able to see what I’m doing, then next the entire engine came down on my arm.”

“At first,” she relaxed and clenched again, eyes trained on her prosthetic. “My brain didn’t process what had happened. Like, there was a split second when I felt the ship turn, and then the sound of the jack failing, and bam - I’m being crushed by a 1000-pound machine.”

“I kept thinking – man. This would normally be where I’d just shout and magically a superhero would come and lift this stupid, heavy mistake off me, and everything will be fine – you’d tell me to be more careful, and J’onn would just shake his head and send me home so Lucy and Maggie could try keep me outta the field for a few days. But I can’t do that out here.”

She finally looked away from her bionic arm, watery eyes facing the screen. “I was pretty hurt, so I eventually passed out. But for that twenty minutes, where I knew that no one was coming, and I might bleed out, trapped under a stupid hunk of metal…”

Hastily wiping away the stray tear, she pressed on. “I just kept thinking – you never got to say goodbye – you missed your chance. If the crew gets home, they’ll have to give you this bank filled with messages, and none of them will be for Kara or Maggie or Lucy and that will just kill them a second time. That would just be… so unfair. And I can’t let another stupid, selfish decision hurt you guys. Not even from beyond the grave.”

“I just… Urgh,” she scrubbed the tears away which were starting to escape, blinking hard to clear the remainder away. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

Taking a final deep breath, she started again.

“Missing you, Kar, it’s like being untethered. I didn’t know it, but once you were cut from my life… I lost touch with a lot of who I was. Like I bound up all the best parts of me with you. And when I lost that, lost you, I… lost my anchor. And I think I started to drift into this… darker place. Where I felt like all the good in me, all the pieces that you, and Maggie and Lucy love… like it was left behind on Earth, and the longer I’m stuck out here, the more impossible finding those parts is going to be.”

Shaking her head, Alex rubbed at her forehead, centring her thoughts. Trying to relax the ever-growing ball of tension in her chest.

“I just wanted to tell you that you are the best parts of me Kara,” focusing her eyes directly into the lens, as if she could will the audience to believe her. “And I love you, so much. And I’m just so sorry I had to leave you, that you had to watch-“

Closing her eyes against the images of those last moments – Kara’s conviction that she could stop the spaceship singlehandedly, the way she pressed a hand to the glass, reaching towards her sister – She fought the sob building behind her throat.

“And If I ever get home, I will spend each and every day making sure you know that your goodness and honour and love are the only reason I survived most days. Thinking about you, Maggie and Lucy, and letting you down another time, that kept me going trapped under that engine. I swear it.”


	9. September (Continued): Brief Respite

Maggie woke slowly.

Neither of them had set alarms, and they’d failed to completely close the bedroom blinds. Light was streaming in, warm and yellow and flaring across the exposed shoulders of one half-naked Lucy Lane. She got hot in the middle of the night, and often stripped off layers until she was comfortable – hence the wonderous sight greeting her girlfriend.

Grinning languidly, Maggie crawled over, placing long drawn out kisses down the length of exposed spine. Smiling at the sun-soaked warmth of her skin, and how she was already moving under her lips.

“What a way to wake up,” her voice was sleep slurred, but happy around the edges. Just the way that made Maggie’s heart warm.

“I could certainly get used to it,” she murmured back, lips still pressing against the soft skin.

“Not used to it already, Sawyer?”

“I’ll never get used to it, Lane,” which was the truth. Even after all these months, Maggie was still surprised that Lucy Lane was in her bed most mornings. Still felt her heart contract and expand. Still made her feel like the luckiest asshole on Earth.

“I guess I have to keep spending the night, hmmmm?” Lucy turned her face more fully, so one eye was actually visible.

“If it works for you,” Maggie murmured, kissing her way back up the Directors shoulders, until her nose was resting at the curve of her neck. “I’d like to spend every night together Lane.”

A pause, where Maggie felt Lucy stiffen, then relax. Watched her smile soften, and her eyes gleam. “For ever and ever?”

Smiling, and placing a soft kiss on the tip of her ear, Maggie whispered back, “for as long as you’ll have me.”

* * *

LOG: Day 850

PASSENGERS: 149

AUTHOR: DR. ALEX DANVERS, 3IC

“Hello watchers of the future,” smiled Alex Danvers. “For those of you just tuning in, this is my first update in almost 30 cycles! But fear not, this is because it has been so _mind numbingly_ _boring_ that I’ve had nothing to say.”

She laughed at herself, leaning back in the chair, scratching at one side of her double undercut, where a still healing cut ran through the shorter hair.

“We have literally been moving in a straight line for three months, and don’t have to dock again for another seven cycles. The biggest threat we are facing is boredom – I tried to explain cabin fever to Lyron but he insisted that six weeks on the ship straight was not reason enough to make a ‘superfluous’ landing. I guess being his third now has less authority then I’d anticipated.”

Signing, she straightened. “The only thing of note is that we are approaching another boat – It’s got its colors waving, so we know it’s an ambassador-ship, not a raid. They’ve signaled that they would like us to dock.”

“Lyron’s worried its some kind of trap, but I’m not convinced – we are literally in the middle of nowhere. The closest habitable planet is six cycles away. I just think they need fuel, given how _massive_ they. You should see that images El got. Three tiers, each of which alone is bigger than the entire Exodus.

She scratched at her good arm, lifting her t-shirt sleeve absently as she thought aloud, revealing the edges of some kind of marking. “My only concern is that their colors don’t correspond with anything nearby. Scho’ty,” her voice awkwardly pitched as she tried to pronounce the alien name, “did a localized search and found nothing.”

“But it just looks so familiar? The colors I mean – I think I must have come across something like it when I was on Earth doing research. It’s like it’s on the tip of my tongue…”

“And what a _fine_ tongue it is!” Someone shouted to her left, causing Alex to whip around.

“Oi,” her disgruntled tone did nothing to stop the cackling off screen. “I’m doing something important here!”

“Leave her alone Ve,” a softer voice said, approaching. From left frame a very willowy, women approached. She had dark skin and pale eyes, and she radiated a kind of soft glow. She walked behind Alex’s chair and rubbed at her shaved skull. “You need a haircut, my dear.”

“Are you offering?” Alex grinned back.

“Sure,” she gave her head a final scratch. “Come by Cabin B and I’ll fix you up.”

“Shall do.”

“And would you bring that child with you? She’s starting to look like a hoodlum again,” she called as she left back the way she came.

“Why would you want to hide her truth!” Alex shouted back. She was still laughing when she finished with “Darla, end message.”

* * *

“Hey! You made it,” Maggie looked up at Kara’s explanation, smirking when she saw none other than Lena Luthor walk through the door. “Come in, come in!” The Kryptonian hurried over to take the offered bottle of wine, adjusting her glasses. Blushing.

The CEO could not have looked more out of her depth if she tried. She was in a dress better suited for a boardroom - clashing entirely with the anything-up-to-and-including-pajama’s vibe of Kara’s game nights.

Passing her beer down to Lucy, who was leaning back against her legs on the floor, they shared a knowing look. Lucy’s grin even took on that wicked edge that meant she was up to no good.

Ever since the Jack Spheer episode, and Lena had been an increasing topic of conversation at Sisters night. _Especially_ after Mon-El took his leave. While Maggie and Lucy had their suspicions about the younger Danvers, they were keeping it to themselves for the time being.

“Everyone! I’d like you to meet Lena,” as if Lena Luthor was in need of introduction. But Kara grin was absolutely shining, so excited that it cut through the difficulty of having game night with the Danvers Sisters Combo destroying all competition. Maggie was not about to burst her bubble. “Lena, this is everyone.”

Maggie was the closest, sitting at the corner of the couch, so she figured she would do the panic-stricken CEO a solid. “Hey, I’m Maggie,” she couldn’t get up with Lucy pressed against her shins, but she still offered a hand, which was gratefully accepted. “This one’s Lucy,” she gestured down at her girlfriend, who just smirked up at the new guest.

“That’s Winn,” Kara continued, said boy giving a little, deeply awkward wave from his chair. “But I think you’ve met.”

“Right, at the Gala,” Lena finally spoke. Suddenly a little less stricken, a little more relaxed. “You helped me with the black-body field generator.” Winn smiled happily at that.

“And James Olsen,” Kara finished up, James actually standing to shake her hand like a normal human.

“Pleasure to meet you Ms. Luther,” okay, maybe less normal human. More, ‘normal humanoid male’, but at least he was polite.“Please, it’s Lena,” she corrected, letting herself be shuffled to the other end of the coach, gratefully accepting the glass of red pressed into her hand. Kara retook her seat at the end of the coffee table, shuffling the cards they’d laid out. “What’s on the agenda for tonight?”

“Hold’em,” Lucy offered, grin edging feral. “If you’re game?”

“Of course,” she responded, still a little too stiff at her seat. 

What ensued was a seemingly never-ending game of poker, for exactly two players. Kara, despite her claims at being an excellent secret keeper, didn’t have a poker face to save her life. She was the first out. Winn played the odds, not the people and was quickly destroyed by the remaining girls. James and Maggie put up a good fight, but eventually, they too were disbanded without mercy.

Apparently, a CEO of a fortune 500 company and a Jag Lawyer who ran a secret government organization were a good match up. And they’d been playing alone for almost half an hour.

The boys had started their own conversation, leaving the Maggie and Kara to watch their respective girls go at it. Lena had a better grasp of the numbers, but Lucy never took her eyes off Lena.

“Oooooo, losing steam Luthor?” Lucy snarked when Lena finally called after a third raise round. She’d long since abandoned the heels and had tucked herself against the chairs arm.

“No, I’m just not convinced by your over-compensation,” she shot back, taking another sip of her third glass.

“ _I_ don’t have to over-compensate for anything,” her grin turned this side of salacious, making Kara chock on her beer.

“She really doesn’t,” Maggie offered, enjoying the show more than the game. 

“You _are_ the hotter, much less aggravating Lane,” Lena concedes, eyeing the remaining river. 

“Oooh, now comes the flattery,” Luce grins back, raising again.

“You aren’t really my type,” call and a raise.

“You couldn’t keep up with me if you tried.” Call.

“I don’t know about that Major, don’t forget, your girlfriend’s already had me in handcuffs.” Raise, call.

A longer silence, Lucy’s grin literally edging onto manic for how much she enjoyed this. Meanwhile, Maggie chocked on her own beer and Kara tried to redefine blush. Maggie started cackling, and the boys finally looked over, baffled.

The cop finally composed herself, having thought no one would bring up that particular elephant in the room. “I think I like you Little Luthor,” she finally got out, grin still splitting her face.

“I _definitely_ like her,” Lucy countered, revealing her three aces. 

“And I definitely like your money,” full house.

But Lucy didn’t care – Lena was welcome to all the gummy bears that Kara insisted they use for chips. She was more interested in scoping out the women who had been making Alex’s sister blush and stammer and genuinely become a mess for. And she was pleasantly surprised.


	10. October: Depression

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it gets worse before it gets better - But I SWEAR it gets better.
> 
> WARNING: Nothing graphic BUT if you have a thing about eyes, or injury to eyes, then proceed with caution.
> 
> Also minor character death - which is written but not graphic.

CCTV FOOTAGE

Bridge: Camera #2

Day: 1,146

Light: 6

The Exodus bridge was located at the front of the ship, where it narrowed to provide the pilot with almost 180 degrees of vantage point. Setback, behind and slightly below the pilot’s raised end platform were half a dozen other seats, normally for the leadership and navigation teams. They were set in a semi-circle, all facing the pilots back, and giving them a relatively good view, of whatever was happening in front of the ship.

Set behind these remaining seats was the central console, and behind that, the space usually reserved for high ranking meetings, allowing for about fifty of the crew to gather at once and discuss strategic matters without being subjected to the publicity of the mess hall.

The entire room was sleek and silver and emotionless, just the way Lyron liked it. And today, it was also mostly empty, baring the pilot who was currently at his lazily chair spinning around and around like a child left alone in his parent’s office too long. Bored, as he had set the coordinates, and nothing about the trip required anymore more than the auto pilot could handle.

This made it all the more shocking when the hold bridge suddenly lurched.

Scho’ty managed to catch himself on the corner of his console, shaking his head to clear the spins as he glanced around. For a moment, nothing else happened. And then, the entire navigation panel lit up a violent red.

At once the ships warning mechanisms kicked in. A buzzing siren started to sound, and lights started to flicker, both in a particular pattern (morse code to the trained observer).

Wide eyed, Scho’ty jumped to his feet and pulled up the holographic navigation tool, shifting through settings until he pulled up the breach system.

The camera was set high and wide enough that the image could be seen: BOARDED, _DHORIANS_ (EXTREME CAUTION, SPECIAL INTEREST)

Immediately under that was the diagnosis for where they had entered (hacking the docking and proximity system) and how many had entered (nine and still climbing).

 _“Rhich,”_ the pilot muttered, spinning away from his chair and jumping the full height of his platform. His hand had just reached for the axe which rested in a metal loop at his belt when the bridge was invaded.

Three very tall and very bug like creatures on two legs scurried in, swarming the pilot until he was left wheezing on the ground. A hand wrapped around his now injured stomach, he glared up at the creature that remained looming over him, while the others went straight to their central console. 

“ _Wmsi vi ithie zsih?”_ he growled, teeth gleaming pink with his own blood.

The too long creature tilted its head, lowering their (it’s?) body to crouch by the now injured man. They sniffed at the air around him with an almost three-inch triangular nose, its purple skin wrinkling.

“I do not speak your language, foul creature,” the intoning was melodic though still stilted. “We learnt many English to board the ship called Exodus.”

 _“What do you want_?” Scho’ty snarled back (with as much force as his bad accent allowed), dragging himself an inch away from the bug like eyes fixed on him.

“We come from Dhor, in the Antares star system,” it intoned back, tilting his head further, before raising back to its full six feet, steepling its six, four-inch fingers. “We seek only the deaths that belong to us. If you tell us what we must see, you will be spared.”

“Our brothers’ approach,” the creature working the console informed, still typing rapid code. 

From the corner of the frame, the room was quickly swarmed. At least ten crew stumbled in, all in various stages of injury. They were led at gun point by several more of the bug like creatures, who waved their weapons around angrily until the now-prisoners were arranged in a loose semi-circle around the central console, on their knees with their hands behind their head.

After a moment of just the angry breathing of the somewhat battered crew, the tallest of the aliens, who had helped attack Scho’ty, took center stage. 

“Be at peace - We do not wish to harm you,” they intoned, hands clasped behind their bowed back. “All we seek, are the deaths that are mine. If you hand over the Mosteel hidden in the bowels of this vessel, we will be gone from your lives.”

They were met by what can only be described as furious silence.

“I cannot access their emergency logs, or the internal scanning protocols,” the typing bug intoned, finally turning to face the rest of the room.

“No concern of mine. One of these… creatures knows where she is hidden, and they will tell me what they see.”

“No,” snarled one of the larger men – almost entirely human, though his forehead was too high and strange lines of thick ridges ran along pale face. “We won’t.”

“Ah,” the alien did not smile, though their eyes fixed on Lyron with such a widening, that excitement was clear. “The leader reveals himself. Thank you, this saves me much time.”

And with that, they flicked a six fingered hand at the direction of the alien still standing over the pilot. They pulled out a three tonged device, which was carefully placed on the leader’s head. For a moment, nothing happened, and Lyron’s shoulders relaxed just slightly even with his hands still behind his head.

Then, with no warning, he started to scream. The high pitch, horrible sound of a man dying. Every member of the crew in the room reacted, all trying to get to their feet and help, but for the guns which were suddenly thrust in their faces once more.

Though Lyron remained upright on his knees, his back bowed as his spine contracted and his eyes rolled into his head. His body convulsed once, twice, then finally slumped, the strings holding his body in the air cut and he crashed to the ground, motionless.

A collective breath was drawn by the crew, and one member finally just shoved past the guns, stumbling the few feet between herself and the fallen leader.

 _“What did you do?”_ She snarled, her eyes were fixed on the dead, hands hovering uncertainly as she sought for an injury to heal.

“Something much more sophisticated than your lesser minds can handle,” the alien intoned back, eyes evaluating the doctors stuttered movements. “He is gone, you should not waste your remaining time on him.”

“I do not wish to harm you,” turning back to the crew at large, it steepled it’s fingers once more. “Tell where I can see the Mosteel leader, and my kin will leave your abode.”

The room remained in tense silence, fear and fury mixing to create a concoction of energy which seemed to have no effect on the alien invaders.

“Bré Bjorn is last daughter of Litra Bré, and I will have her life before I leave your ship in peace. Tell me where I can see her or suffer the consequences.”

The doctor finally abandoned her hovering over the dead man, kneeling lopsidedly with a biotic hand braced on one knee, she looked up at the unaffected leader with fury spitting from her tongue. “Over my dead body.”

“Oh,” suddenly the aliens attention returned to the women. He tilted his head and crouched so they were approximately eye level – the beady nature of their eyes giving her no pause. “You are a leader too, no?” Tilting a head and tapping his fingers against each other. “Just not like he. You lead without power – that is a strange position indeed.”

“No matter,” standing again, it leered down at one Alex Danvers with no ounce of emotion. “You know where I wish to look, and you will tell me, or suffer.”

A grim, slightly manic expression crossed the humans face, fear escaping her as she growled back – “I didn’t see _nothin.’_ ”

“You did not see nothing?” it tilted its head again, unwinding the sentence in its head. “That it is strange turn of phrase,” straightening again, it turned to the one who had killed Lyron, who lingered just to Alex’s right.

“Brother, ensure she cannot see _nothing_ again.” Nodding, emotionless, it stepped forward and wrapped one massive fingered hand around Alex’s skull, jerking it to the side so that one eye was tilted towards the ceiling.

She did not go quietly, immediately starting to struggle, wrapping an arm around the aliens and trying to throw off its balance. Before headway could be made, a second, then a third were upon her, each grabbing a shoulder and limb, forcing her body to remain in its knelt position, the other maintaining her head tilt.

The entire crew started to shift, shouting (in various languages) about _stop it_ , _you_ _don’t have to do this_ – some were even brave enough to get off a knee. But they all quickly had further weapons aimed towards them, forcing them bitingly back to their positions, even as they watched their lead doctor struggle.

“I do not wish to harm you,” the leader repeated, not even watching as the restraining creature reached into his pocket for an odd shaped instrument, scooped like a spoon but deeper, with a sharp edging. “Lead me to Bré Bjorn,” he raised his voice just slightly as Alex started to scream. “And you will not suffer.”

* * *

Even though they all knew it was coming, no one was really prepared. It wasn’t even until the weekend before that reality really hit them square in the face. It had been stupid, and in hindsight Lucy felt guilty about her role.

Game night was going as smoothly as it had the last month – all the Superfriends gathered around Kara’s coffee table, watching Lena Luther increasingly dominate a game of monopoly. Drinks had been had, empty pizza boxes scattered – even Winn seemed more like his old self. He’d even been throwing horrible shade at the CEO.

But then Lucy’s phone went off. She’d left it on the side table to charge.

James, ever the responsible adult, had taken the upper ground on the couch for the duration of the game, so he was closest. Glancing at Lucy questioningly, she grinned back. “Maggie’s right here big guy, nothing to scar you for life coming into that phone. Read it to me, would ya?”

And James had laughed – because he really was happy for his ex, and Maggie was great. He’d laughed because he and Lucy had finally gotten to a good place. That _Lucy_ had gotten to a good enough place to be making sex jokes. Sex jokes that Kara cringed at, just as she had when Alex was still around, as if they were also her sisters. So he laughed all the way up until it died in his throat, seeing that it wasn’t a text on the Directors phone.

“James?” Winn, too perceptive as of recently.

“Ah, it’s a reminder.”

“And?” Lucy asked, still considering whether or not to simply mortgage her entire empire at this point. She was tempted, more inclined to spend the rest of the game trying to distract Maggie, who was coming a very distant second. 

He hesitated so long that suddenly all eyes were on him.

“Alex’s birthday is next week.” _Ah._

So, the next few days were rough. Before this Kara seemed to have finally been coming out of her hostile and withdrawn persona. She seemed to have finally realized that being an alien didn’t make her any less Kara Danvers – pretending to be only Kara Zor-El didn’t make her care any less about being Alex’s sister.

What followed was a week of definite backslide.

Aside from keeping her weekly lunch date with Lena (where she was so out of it, she crunched right through her fork), and movie night with Lucy and Maggie (where she let them choose an action movie and left right after), she had patrolled and worked.

Which is why, on the Sunday marking Alex’s 28th birthday, Lucy and Maggie arranged leave and insisted Kara join them.

All three gave themselves the day. They laid around Alex’s apartment, talking about their missing person. Good and bad stories were shared, laughter tumbling into crying. Movies were put on that no one paid attention to. It was soft and quiet and hard – but they did it together – honoring the last request Alex had ever had. _Take care of each other._

It was only that night, when they all settled in to sleep, that Kara actually let go.

“Lucy?” Her voice shook, just around the edges, tucked as she was between the couple, but eyes fixed above. “Do you ever dream about your mom?”

Feeling her heart ache with decades old wounds, she gave it the proper consideration it deserved, sensing that this was going somewhere specific. “Maybe, in the beginning,” she caught eyes with Maggie as she continued. “But I was really young when she died – I don’t really know what I know from memory, or just stories Louis told me.” And those were few and far between.

“The past couple of months….” her eyes were already glassy. “The past couple of months, when I dream, I see... I see Alex,” the words seemed to weigh on her chest, hands whitening where they held the linen. “With my mom.”

Maggie’s breath caught, locking eyes with Lucy’s for a moment as they processed that. Lucy reacted first, gently uncurling the superhero’s fingers. Knowing she wouldn’t hurt her even in this state, Lucy locked their fingers together.

“What happens?”

“I…” Maggie caught a tear. “I’m standing in this field, and when I look up, I see Krypton’s moon… and I can feel Rao’s heat on my back as I walk…” her lips tremble, but she never takes her eyes of the ceiling. “Everything is soft and warm and peaceful and then… then I feel a hand around my wrist – it’s-“ tears openly fell, but neither moved to interrupt, letting the women get everything out.

“It’s Alex and she just smiles and presses a hand to my cheek. It’s safe and she… she tugs me into a hug… and…” a sob escapes, forcing Kara to just breath for a second. Lucy squeezes her hand. “Then I must hear something because I turn and I can see my mom, in the distance, just waiting for me… and when I reach out to her… I… I-“

No more words were possible, as the Kryptonian’s ability to speak dissolves into tears. And her sisters held her the entire night.

* * *

LOG: Day 1,150

PASSENGERS: 140

AUTHOR: Captain Alex Danvers

When the log flicked on, it was a changed location. Gone was the plain, two entrance, four square meter room that logs and personal messages had been taking place over the last three years. Instead, eye-patched Alex Danvers sat awkwardly on the bridge, sitting at the only non-pilot seat with an information console. The Captains seat.

“Hello,” she started, then immediately frowned at her opening. “I regret to inform those who are listening that there has been a change in command aboard the Exodus 2.0.”

“Four cycles ago we were boarded by a species called Dhorians. They are one of four technologically advanced spacefaring races native to the Antares system. They used their superior tech to hack our system and force the ship to grant them docking access.”

“They were looking for a Mosteel named Bré Bjorn – one of the original Exodus crew. With her permission, I tell you that she was sent away by her father when they started to lose ground in their war – she fled to Earth in the hopes of a better life, free from violence. It was only bad luck that landed her on Cadmus’ list of abductees.”

A pause, a deep breath, then again.

“We believe she was spotted helping unload some exported stock we were trading for in the last galaxy. It is likely someone sold that information to the Dhorians, given the price on her family’s head is high. But I am happy to say that she is alive. Her, and her son, followed our protocols and were able to remain secure in their designated space.”

“Unfortunately, several people died in an effort to defend against the Dhorians – including our captain and leader Lyron of Starhaven.”

Flexing her good hand, Alex paused, gathering her scattered, despondent thoughts.

“Lyron was a good man,” she tilted her head and granted herself the chance to smile just a little. “Mostly. Me and him did not see eye to eye on many things, but I don’t think I’d still be alive today, if it were not for him. Actually –“

She tilted her head, eye wandering away from the lens. “I _know_ that I would not be alive if it were not for him.”

“When we landed in Takron-Galtos, _he_ filled the power vacuum. He gave us order and structure and a direction– and even if I didn’t always agree with how he did that… He died trying to protect a member of this crew, and I will always remember him as a hero,” she tightened her jaw against tears. “So, I extend my deepest sympathies to his wife, and daughter. I promise you, _when_ I bring this ship home, I will personally ensure that you _know_ how brave he was, and that he loved you both, so, so much.”

A pause, a moment of silence, then she pushed on to the second half of the update.

“We survived the Dhorians attack due to the incredible work of our bio-mechanic Dryl, our technician Ella, and our chemical expert Leeroy. They synthesized a substance, based on a reconstruction of Dhor atmosphere, which was poisonous to only them, and reversed the air filtration system, pumping the gas into the entire ship. In particular, I want to commend Ella, who ignored the Exodus’ species-specific warning, as her race has been subject to eradication by Dhorians for centuries.”

“While the gas it did not kill them all, it drove them off and gave us time to escape into a time warped galaxy. Which brings me to my next point.”

She smiled sadly, her only visible eye pinching downwards as she pressed her lips together.

“According to Scotty,” he had finally just told her to use an English version as her vocal cords were just too unsophisticated, “before the attack we were approximately 78% through our journey. In fact, we were starting to find planets who were trading in Earth goods, and I had a conversation in Russian last month. Unfortunately, we had to take evasive measures, and have been forced to take a more complex route.”

“Though the warp means that almost no time will pass in the surrounding galaxies, it will take us several months to safely loop back into a direct course. For some, this is a relief. I know that I prefer my family not spend time worrying about my fate during this part of the excursion. However, this galaxy also has its threats.”

Her tone took on a more serious edge. “Raiders wander this system – many of whom trade in people, not goods. We know this to be as a way of stocking Warworld, which rotates around this sun.”

“Warworld is a mobile weaponized satellite, but over the last few decades it’s operated as a center for slave trade and involuntary fight clubs. Our intel indicates that the ringmaster, Mongul, is currently running some kind of competition, which has resulted in increased kidnapping. We must continue cautiously, but I do not take my station lightly.”

“I was voted into my position; I am only here because the crew wills me to be. And I know that there are those on board who do not trust me, or my judgement. I understand – my position here has always been complicated. But I can assure you, I will do everything in my power, to bring this ship home. I’m done, Darla.” And it flickered off.


	11. November: Depression

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A scene was cut from this chapter, mostly because it's kinda a different vibe than the rest of the fic. If you wanna read something lighter, jump over to Deleted Scenes, Chapter 2.

Lucy was stressed. Maggie had been at the DEO giving a status report on a dead alien found by the docks when they received identical messages into Kara’s ‘Sisters’ group chat. While they rode the elevator up to their own apartment, Lucy couldn’t help but gnaw at her lip, re-reading the confused text chain.

> Kara (16:31): _I need to talk to you guys_.
> 
> Kara (16:33): _Not like “we need to talk” though!_
> 
> Kara (16:33): _I’m not BREAKING UP_ _with you or something!_
> 
> Kara (16:33): _Not that I could - cause you guys are lovely but not really my type_
> 
> Kara (16:33): _Not that I have a type!_
> 
> Kara (16:35): _Sorry – I just need to tell you something. I’m already at your apartment, can you meet me here?_
> 
> Maggie (16:40): _Sure Little Danvers - on our way now. Is this a pizza or pot stickers kind of talk?_

And the most concerning message of the lot;

> Kara (16:41): _Don’t worry - Not hungry_

So, Lucy had grabbed her keys, thrown J’onn an apologetic look (she was only in the city base to get some paperwork done – now backburnered) and off they went.

Now, alone in the elevator with her girlfriend, Lucy felt the anxiety building. _What else could have happened?_ Maggie’s hands jammed deep into her jeans spoke of a similar thought pattern.

Maggie having to fish out her key meant that Kara had come in through the window, during a cloudless California day, at 4 o’clock in the afternoon. Lucy made a mental note, upon seeing the distinct lack of primary colors, to give her another talking to about the _secret_ part of a secret identity.

As it was, Kara’s anxious pacing put a pause on that conversation.

“Kara? What’s wrong?”

Turning wide blue eyes at them, Kara came to a stop in the middle of the space between the dining table and kitchen island. Her hands were so twisted in the sleeves of her cardigan, it looked beyond repair.

Maggie took a swing next, stepping into the apartment properly. “What’s up Little Danvers?”

Exhaling sharply, Kara dropped her hands to her side.

“Eliza called me.”

“And I take it, that didn’t go well?” Lucy asked, shrugging off her jacket and emotionally preparing for an Alex-level conversation. 

Kara shook her head, mumbling under her breath as she shuffled her feet.

“’Fraid you’re the one with the super ears, kid,” Maggie took another step closer, tilting her head and carefully keeping her arms unfolded.

“She’s… She’s having a funeral.”

Silence. Silence so loud you could hear it.

“ _What?”_ Maggie breathed.

“For Alex,” as if that was the confusing part. “She’s already planned everything – she just called to figure out who she should invite. Besides you guys, of course. I think she already knows you guys need to be there. Or… Well… if you want to. I don’t know how you feel about having a funeral, since Alex isn’t, you know, actually dead. Or even presumed dead! I’m sure there is some legal jargon about missing people, and declaring people dead even when you don’t know if they are alive and-“

The rambling was cut off when Lucy raised a single hand – mind still processing what exactly they were talking about here.

“Eliza wants to have a _funeral_ for Alex?” The blonde nodded, glasses going askew. “Our Alex?” She gestured between the three of them – another nod. “Even though she’s been missing less than nine months?”

Twisting the cardigan even further, Kara nods, eyes just this side of wet. “She said something about… symmetry? About taking nine months to bring her into the world, and nine months to let her go?”

Silence.

Lucy, honestly, wasn’t surprised. I mean, she was shocked that this was actually happening – that this surreal moment wasn’t just some kind of fever dream. But also, from the moment Eliza had been told, she had been looking for a way to find answers. Find closure. Which, Lucy supposed, was fair enough.

She wasn’t a mother, didn’t even know her _own_ mother. She had no idea what the appropriate response is for a parent when their child disappears. To the other side of the universe. Without any way to know if she is alive. Lucy was just Alex’s girlfriend and she still had no idea how to process it.

But a funeral? With an empty casket? Would they bother with a casket? Or would there just be a headstone, and put March 18th on it - Like Alex actually died that day?

“She can’t do that, can she?” Maggie was asking her, if her turned head was an indication.

“Doesn’t appear to matter – she’s doing it anyway,” Lucy responded, still staring at Kara like she had two heads.

Silence.

“Are you guys… okay?"

Maggie reacted first, sighing and stepping closer to the taller, obviously destressed, girl. “Are _you_ okay, Little Danvers?”

“Oh, um…” Huge blue eyes flicked between the couple, Lucy also inching a closer. “Yeah! I guess so? She didn’t really ask _permission_ , so what I feel about it doesn’t really matter. I mean, I’m not really okay. But Eliza is her mom, right? So, I have to be on board. Or, pretend to be on board – But ah, no. No, I don’t really think I am okay...”

And just like that, the façade collapsed. Eyebrows dipping, eyes welling then all at once, hand coming up just in time to catch her own sob. Kara’s knees were already buckling by the time Maggie caught her in a hug, tears in her own eyes.

* * *

**PERSONAL LOG: DR ALEX DANVERS, CAPT (#4)**

\- Eliza Danvers -

“Hey mom,” Alex smiled, trying to sit up as straight and proper as she did at meetings. She’d traded out her uniforms for something a little less severe, looking comfortable in her black henley. She’d even let the longer center portion of her hair down, falling in soft waves down one side of her head – giving the appearance that she only went for the one sided undercut.

“I know that I should have done a message sooner, I just didn’t know how to say goodbye to you without upsetting you further. Then, Freyer reminded me that if I just speak from the heart, you’ll appreciate it no matter what.”

She smiled a little into the camera, voice dropping conspiratorially. “A bit woo-woo for us scientists, but I think you’d appreciate the sentiment.” But there was affection in her eyes.

“I know that you are probably disappointed with how I handled things with Dad,” she started, working hard not to hesitate around the hard stuff, and keeping something of a smile alive on her face. Bowl through the feelings, and you’ll get to the other side. “I shouldn’ta tracked him or Cadmus, I shouldn’t have let myself get sucked in. I should have protected Kara, and not let her watch me disappear. And I am sorry, for everything.”

“I really worked so hard to make you proud. My whole life – everything I’ve ever done, I’ve done for Kara and you and Dad and protecting the values that you instilled in me. And I know that I don’t always succeed, and I know that you would be ashamed of a lot of what I’ve had to do out here to survive.” Her smile faltered.

“But I am strong, and I am determined, and I swear to you that I am doing everything I can to get back home. To give you a hug and look after Kara and be the women you always wanted me to be. I’ve even-“

A breath shuddered out of her, words running dry for a moment. But then she smiled, actually genuine for the first time. “I don’t want to talk too much about Ky until she is ready to talk to herself – I’m trying to respect her boundaries. But I… I have a daughter mom. And I finally get it – why you were so protective of Kara, why you hated me joining the DEO. I finally understand, and I am so sorry I made it so difficult.”

“I really miss you. And I’m doing everything I can to get home. I promise you. I’m going to fight to my last days to let you give me one more hug.” 

* * *

The drive down to Midvale had been silent.

Lucy and Maggie insisted that Kara ride with them. They wanted to give Winn some time with James where he could freely feel the heartache he tries so hard to hide from the women he considers more deserving of grief. But also, because Kara had gradually become their responsibility.

While the street was two way – Kara always showing up for the couple – today was about Kara. Or, mostly about Kara, because Maggie and Lucy also had strong feelings about what they were about to do.

No one was wearing uniform, even J’onn who was just going to fly over for the burial. Lucy had stared at her Army Blues, and Maggie had fingered her Dress Uniform, but neither could put them on. So, they’d gone with simple black dresses, which were hanging with Kara’s in the back.

And they made the drive in silence.

Arriving at Alex’s childhood home for the first time, without Alex, broke Maggie. After they pulled up, were shown to the spare room by a robotic Kara, Maggie crumbled, just a little. Just enough. Buying some emotional bandwidth so she could control herself for what came next.

And Lucy held her. Squeezing and murmured and let her have the moment to grieve the fact that Alex wasn’t here. Wasn’t showing them the ledge where she gave herself a concussion when she was six, or where she and Kara snuck out to go stargazing. Didn’t get to see her blush at the awkward teenage photos or smile at the kid-sized surfboard she still kept in their bedroom. A reminder of how far she’d gone.

Then, when it was time, they got dressed in silence. Zipping each other up, and doing finishing touches on make-up, they ventured to the adjacent bedroom, where Kara stood stoically. She was dressed, ready, and just staring at Alex’s side of the room (identifiable due to the lack of pick and overabundance of awards).

“You ready?” Lucy asked, holding Maggie’s hand at the threshold.

 _No_ , but she nodded anyway. 

Alex had always begrudged churches, and after Jeremiah’s funeral had refused to ever enter one again – so the entire ceremony was being done by the grave site. Normally, Lucy recalled from her mother’s, there is no gravestone at the funeral. Its added months later – which is why she wouldn’t see her mother’s for two years (her father refused to take her or Louis, even before they moved out of state). 

But there was no burial, or casket, so the stone was the only way to determine what they were supposed to be looking at.

There were rows of seats set up, some already filled – Winn and James had gone straight there, as they weren’t spending any nights in town. She clocked the distinct lack of wonder-boy and her sister, btu put that in a mental box for later. Kara took her seat one in from the aisle at the front, leaving room for Eliza when she finished talking to the Rabbi. Lucy sat down next to her, offered the hand not occupied by Maggie. Kara squeezed so hard it would bruise but Lucy just squeezed back best she could.

There was a Psalms reading, then a silent prayer, which went over Lucy and Maggie’s heads, but had silent tears running down Kara’s face. Then came the eulogy, delivered by Eliza. At the time, the couple had been surprised that she hadn’t asked Kara to. If Alex had actually died, they were prepared to bet Kara would be doing it. But here they are – Eliza taking center stage.

“My darling Alexandra,” Maggie flinched at the name, just barely. “I cannot believe that my strong, brave girl has been taken away from me. It is much too short a time.”

“When she was born, she was so tiny. I remember, Jeremiah used to be able to hold her head in the palm of his hand. She had this stock of black hair, and bright watchful eyes and was so fussy and stubborn that she never grew out of it, even to her last days.” Lucy had to hand it to the women, she looked the picture of put together. She read with a sure calm voice, and her eyes were clear.

“From the time she was a little girl, Alex brought joy and laughter into mine and her father’s lives. She was always so curious and insightful – too smart for her own good. And even though she and her sister started off rocky, I know that Alex brought love and laughter into Kara’s life.”

“Alex was the bravest women I have ever known. Her father always used to say that she was the strongest of us all. She loved hard, even when it wasn’t easy. Even when she didn’t know how to. And when she let someone into her heart – that was it. There was no getting away, no changing her mind. You were going to be loved and protected even at the cost of her own safety.” Lucy felt Kara’s hand squeeze again, and exhaled slowly at the accompanying memories.

“It is with so much sadness that I am here today to farewell my eldest child. She was a brave and vibrant daughter who has been taken away from us much too early. But the memory of Alex will live on in us forever. I am so proud of her and hope she is at peace.”

* * *

The weekend spent in Midvale were the hardest days of Alex’s disappearance. Letting Eliza pretend Alex was just dead was killing them. Kara kept biting her tongue against Eliza’s use of past tense, and Maggie had to squeeze Lucy’s hand during every meal to stop herself crumbling. And for each night they slept in that guest bedroom, Kara would sneak in and curl up between the couple – unable to sleep in the room she shared with her sister.

But now they were back in town, and after what felt like the longest dreariest shifts of their lives, all the Superfriends, including Lena, had gathered at the dive.

They all drank and ate and talked – making sure to tell every funny and embarrassing and romantic story about Alex Danvers that they could. They filled the bar with as much celebration as possible – even when there were tears, even when it was hard.

They made sure that, even when it was hopeless, and they could all barely contain their grief, that the best memories of their loved one were kept alive. 


	12. December: Depression

LOG: Day 1,229

PASSENGERS: 56

AUTHOR: Captain Alex Danvers

“Today,” Captain Alex Danvers starts, deadly serious. Stoic. The camera couldn’t pick up how badly her eyes were burning or what the migraine felt like pressing behind her temples. “For me, is the single hardest day of our journey back to Earth.”

“I want to assure anyone who may be watching this that the sudden drop in passengers is not an indication of a death toll. In fact, while this is personally a devastating experience, it may be some of the best news for those that are disembarking in two lights.”

“Three cycles ago, we interrupted a raid on another ship. As a thank you, they have offered us a jump ship. Normally, jump ships are just designed to be used for travel between an orbiting vessel and a planet, where there are insufficient docking facilities. However, this particular ship is equipped with one very important feature – It can travel at light speed.”

Taking another breath, jaw tense, she kept talking, tone carefully balanced and controlled. “Our mechanics have checked it over and have determined it is perfectly safe for the distance remaining to earth and will easily take one hundred individuals back in a matter of lights.”

“Unfortunately, this is not sufficient to get the entire crew home. In fact, we cannot afford to send a hundred people as it will make the Exodus difficult to run. We need at least fifty people aboard, including our pilot and mechanics, in order to safely continue to travel and get the rest of the crew home.”

“Many have volunteered to stay aboard and see the remainder of this journey out on our ship. I thank all of those who did, deeply, but I cannot justify keeping more than is absolutely necessary on board. Our elderly and pregnant have already boarded the jump, along with supplies and resources which will help reintegration. We have prioritized those who have children waiting at home, and those that have been injured and cannot fight.”

Words seem to freeze in Alex’s mouth – her jaw working uselessly for a minute as she forced back any tears or reaction.

“All parents, and all children will be sent, excepting me, along with-“

“What?!”

Snapping her head to the side, Alex’s eyes grew wide. “Ky, you shouldn’t-“

“You can’t make me go.” While the now teenager was only just in frame, the edge of an arm occasionally threatening to come into view, the defiance in the words alone was effective.

“Ky, you have to, it’s not-“

“Then come _with_ because I’m not getting on that ship without you.”

“Love, it’s not that simple, I have a responsibility-“

“Yeah, and you also have a responsibility to me!”

“Ky-“

“No! You don’t get to leave me – you don’t get to just send me away because you’re scared!” The shouting was undercut by tears, voice cracking as fear and anger coursed through the girl. “I get a say, and you can’t make me go! I won’t leave without you – I can’t be alone again, please Ma, I can’t do it- I just can’t, I-”

“Okay,” reaching over, Alex tugged the girl over until she was practically curled in her lap, pressing the sobbing girl’s head against her chest carding fingers through loose hair. “Okay- I won’t make you go, it’s okay – breath it’s okay. I got you, it’s okay.”

Eventually the tears subsided, and Ky leaned back just a little.

“You have to promise – promise that you won’t make me go,” even with damp eyes and shaking hands, it was with a strong voice that the thirteen-year-old made her demand.

Alex slipped fingers into her hair, by her ear, palm on her cheek – making sure that their eyes were locked and serious. “I promise, okay? I’m sorry I forgot – stronger together, remember?”

“El mayarah,” she whispered back.

* * *

Maggie had been bracing for Christmas. From the _moment_ local cafés started the aggravating jingles, and wholefoods ran the two-for-one special on eggnog, and she was woken at 6:30 on a Monday morning to the sounds of the city maintenance decorating the neighborhood’s trees (Alex’s apartment as certainly in a nicer area) – Maggie started to prepare. She leaned in closer during their weekly Noonan's lunch (the ones Lena didn’t lay claim to) and was just a touch more tactile when Christmas themed ads ran during movie night.

Lucy, she was less worried about. The three of them never had the chance to celebrate Christmas together, and Lucy’s family wasn’t exactly the big family get-together type. So, aside from the grief they were still working through, Maggie didn’t anticipate a sudden dip with her girlfriend.

Kara, on the other hand, was of great concern. Even if they had never talked about it, she just _knew_ that the Danvers sisters would have spent holidays together. That there will some stupid tradition that Kara enforced, and Alex pretended to hate – and they would wear ridiculous outfits but buy heartfelt gifts and the entire day would be straight out of those holiday cards Maggie resented as a teenager.

So, she was ready. She was preparing for December 25. And she was so focused on Christmas, that she missed something horribly obvious. Or, well, more likely, her extremely Catholic upbringing blinded her to the fact that December contained more than one holiday.

It was Tuesday night when reality crashed into them.

Maggie was busy in the kitchen, humming to herself as she shoved their dinner in the oven and set a timer. It had been hard, getting back into a normal routine, but cooking was something she liked, and feeding her girls always gave her joy. Now, she just had to get better at portioning for two. 

Lucy was at the counter, pretending to work at her laptop, but really just watching her girlfriend. Most of her energy was directed at trying to ignore how her heart stirred whenever Maggie made little self-satisfied noises at the taste of her own food – but the rare smile tugged at her anyway.

It was Maggie’s phone that rang, still plugged in by her laptop. Lucy forced herself (unsuccessfully) to wipe the dopey expression of her face as the other women suddenly turned towards her.

“Can you get that, babe?” she raised her hands in explanation, flour dusting her hands right up to her wrists.

Nodding, she pulled the device towards her. “It’s just Kara,” pressing speaker, she placed the phone between them so they could both listen.

“Hey LD, everything okay?” Maggie asked, stepping up to the other side of the counter.

“Ah,” the distinctly male voice responded. “It’s Winn, actually,” Maggie braced her hands against the counter, floury handprints be damned, frowning at the phone.

“Winn? Where’s Kara?”

“She’s here, it’s just,” he stuttered to a stop. Maggie could feel the panic edging her mind – something about Winn’s too high voice and unsteady breathing. “Can one of you come over? I think – I think she needs you guys.”

“We’ll be there in 15,” Maggie replied, already shucking her apron and flicking all the heat off.

“Make that 10,” Lucy added before hanging up, grabbing bike keys from the nearby bowl.

They made the trip in silence. Lucy, for once, not complaining about riding bitch. Knocking on Kara’s door, the pair could feel their hearts accelerating, concern and panic only tempered by the fact that the girl inside was nearly indestructible. 

Winn opened the door, pale and drawn and looking so clearly upset that Maggie fought the urge to immediately drag the boy into a hug.

“Hey, thanks for coming,” he stepped aside to let them in, but remained by the door. “She’s in her bedroom,” he gestured in the direction, but neither moved away. His eyes were watery, and it genuinely looked like _he_ was the one they should be worried about. “I don’t know if you guys know, but tonight’s Hanukkah… which is kinda a thing for the Danvers.”

Visibly swallowing tears, he looked out the massive windows, eyeing the fact that the sun was still up. “It’s like, a minor Jewish holiday, but ‘cause Jeremiah was big into Christmas, they really went all out for it, for balance,” he shrugged. “Plus, I think they liked the connection to the sun and light. Was kinda easier for Kara to understand when she first got here,” another shrug. “Anyway, Alex usually does the _shamash_ lighting and I… I just think it’s just hitting her really hard again.”

He blinked heavily and a couple stray tears escaped, which he roughly wiped away.

Lucy took a step towards him, as if to offer some comfort, but he waved her off. “Can you just,” he nodded towards the bedroom. “Just look after her, okay? I’ll go to James’ or something, I promise. Just…”

“Of course,” Lucy reached out anyway, and squeezing his arm. “Always.”

“Thanks,” he offered a watery smile, grabbing his jacket and leaving them to their sister.

Sharing a look, they shrugged off their jackets and placed their guns in the side table (they didn’t know what kind of emergency this was). Turning the corner to Kara’s room, their hearts broke.

Usually the brightest room in the apartment, Kara had pulled all the curtains. The girl in question was in bed, wrapped in layers of blankets, trying to add enough weight that she could feel the pressure. But what really broke the couple was her expression – her head was uncovered at the head of the bed, resting on a pillow. Even though the streaks of tears were still visible, her face was devoid of emotion. She was just silently staring at the wall opposite the window bank, eyes empty and hopeless.

“Kara,” Lucy breathed, already on the move to kneel by her head. Reaching out, she touched the superhero’s check, pulling the strands of tear-damp hair behind her ear carefully.

Meanwhile, Maggie had kicked off her shoes, and was already clambering up into the bed behind the distraught girl. Wrapping an arm around her waist and squeezing as hard as she could, she rested her chin on the girl’s shoulder, watching Lucy try to get her attention.

“Sweetie,” Lucy murmured, her own tears gathering.

“She’s gone,” the voice was so horse that it didn’t even sound like Kara. Fresh tears started to fall. “She’s gonna miss sunset.”

“I know,” Maggie watched her girlfriend also crumble, but stay upright for the girl between them.

“She’s never missed a lighting,” Kara whispered back. “Even when Jeramiah went missing, and Alex was supposed to do it for the first time and got so anxious she threw up. Even when she was seventeen and had the flu, Eliza _made_ her come downstairs and do it all eight nights.”

“I know sweetie,” and Lucy did know. She could imagine it, even flunking out of college or between DEO missions, Alex Danvers would come home to do this one thing with her sister for eight nights straight. Because that’s what the Danvers’ sisters did for each other – they showed up.

“But she’s not here,” suddenly Kara’s eyes focused on Lucy, and she almost wished they hadn’t. The depth of her grief was reflected in those blue eyes tenfold – the pain of a girl who has already lost her whole world, and the one person she placed the remainder of her family in was gone. And she may never light another candle again. “What am I supposed to do now?”

It seemed like she actually wanted an answer, but Lucy had none. What do you do? She’d asked herself that so many times the last ten months and was still stumped. 

“Well,” Maggie finally spoke, only taking her chin from the girl’s shoulder, to press her lips against it briefly. “I know it’s not the same, and I don’t know the first thing about Hanukkah, but me and Lucy can do the lighting with you?”

Kara frowned, but Lucy could see that, while it wasn’t the right answer, it was a good one.

“There is still a few more minutes until sunset, but only if you want.”

There was a long moment, where no one moved, Maggie with her chin on the girl, Lucy’s fingers still resting on the damp cheek, Kara staring unblinkingly.

“Okay,” she shifted, Maggie lifting to give her room to sit up. “But, you’ll… you’ll both stay right?”

Pressing a hand against a pajama clad knee, Maggie gave a faint smile. “Always.”

Kara, more tenderly then normal, started to move around the apartment, collecting a nine branched candelabrum from her closet, and candles from the junk draw, she slowly set everything up on the windowsill, Lucy and Maggie hovering nearby.

“Um,” she mumbled, straightening and re-straightening the candle box. “So, when the sun sets,” they both looked outside towards the now setting sun. “I’ll um,” she trailed off again, squeezing her eyes closed so that a fresh set of tears escaped. The couple were immediately at her side, Lucy tangling her fingers with Kara’s non-fiddling hand. “I’ll light the shamash candle, and say the blessing, then light the first candle... and leave them lit for 30 minutes.”

“Sounds like a plan, Little Danvers,” Maggie offered, running a soothing hand along the younger girls back. And so, they waited, watching as the sky painted itself orange, then pink then fade into the horizon.

Hands shaking, even the one still in Lucy’s grip, Kara lit the shamash. Hesitating for only a moment, time enough for Maggie to lean her head on her shoulder. She started to recite the appropriate blessings, Hebrew rolling off her tongue easily, even as tears streamed.

She finally lit the only other candle at the far right of the menorah, holding it there for a moment before returning the shamash to its place at the center.

For the following thirty minutes (and the following eight nights), all three women stood at the window, watching the candles burn away, thinking about the women missing from the room. 

* * *

**PERSONAL LOG: DR ALEX DANVERS, CAPT (#5)**

\- Detective Maggie Sawyer, NCPD -

&

\- Co-Director Lucy Lane, DEO -

Alex’s black Exodus uniform was more off then on, hanging open to reveal the dark grey singlet underneath. Her bad eye looked identical to its twin today, but she’d left her hand in its metallic form. Dryl had been running tests all day on it and had asked she leave it be until tomorrow. Thus, no skin textured coating.

“Hey guys,” Alex smiled, working to not fidget with her very visible bad hand. “If you’re seeing this, it means I failed. So… I really hope you don’t. Have to see this that is.” She winced at her own awkwardness, before sighing. “I’ve done hundreds of logs, and yet the moment I try talk to you two, I’m a stuttering mess again - I hope you’re happy.”

A pause, smile turning up at the corners. “I do, hope you’re happy I mean. I… I hope that you built lives which are filled with the love and happiness you both deserve. I hope that I wasn’t an anchor, you know?”

“I want you to know that this isn’t the first video I’ve made you – it’s like, the fifth?” She scratched her neck. “I just kept deleting them. Everything I say seems insignificant. Explaining how I feel about you two… its like trying to catch smoke.”

“But, I’ve been speaking to my shrink – I know, contain your surprise – and she’s explained that sometimes it’s not what you say or how you say it but that you tried. So… I’m here, trying again. Bear with me.”

Taking another steadying breath, Alex fixed her eyes on the camera – the closet she could manage to eye contact.

“Maggie, you taught me how to be myself. You… opened my eyes to the world. Made me better, more compassionate. You made me feel like I could just exist and that was _enough._ And Luce – you made me _strong_. You never let me back down from what I wanted, what I needed. You encouraged me to use my backbone for my own sake. You both _saw me_ and helped build me up like no one had ever tried.” 

“I… I carry your lessons with me every day.” Alex blinked, slow and careful, keeping the tears at bay. “I know that we never said the words, but I love you two. And I don’t think I’ll ever stop. I don’t think I’m hardwired that way – even so many years later. You guys… you are it for me. I need you to know that.”

“You two… were my heart. You, and Kara, made up everything kind and worthy and _good_ that I had inside. When I first got out here, thinking about you guys, and what we had, what I had to get back to… it’s what kept me going. It’s what kept me fighting. It’s what kept me alive.”

“Now… some things have changed. I have changed – not always for the better,” her bad hand flexed. “But also… my situation has changed. I-” she swallowed, breathed, and continued. “I adopted a daughter. Her name is Ky, and she… she’s everything. And I know that this might change things for you if I get back – I know I might be letting go of our story for this one. But, I need you both to understand, whatever choices I made up here, for her, they weren’t in opposition to wanting to be with you.”

“But if I don’t make it back, and she does, I hope that…” she rolled her jaw, tears burning. “Just... keep an eye out for her? She needs people like you, I-“

She choked off her a second, looking into the overhead lighting and blinking hard. “I don’t even know if you guys _like_ kids. We never got that far in our story… but if you can, could you just make sure she’s loved? Make sure she’s safe.”

“And Kara… she needs people too. They’re both lost children of dead planets, and they need people like you in their corner. So… if you can, just look out for them?”

“And always know – I’ve loved you in every moment, and nothing will ever change that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear it's uphill from after here! This is the last chapter designed to rip your heart out.
> 
> Fun Fact: The Hanukkah scene is my favourite heart-breaking scene of this entire fic.


	13. January: Acceptance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I lied. A little more angst, BUT! Chapter 16? Worlds Collide.

**PERSONAL LOG: DR ALEX DANVERS, CAPT (#4.3)**

\- Kara Zor-El Danvers -

The Captain’s chair never looked so casually enjoyed. Alex was sitting with one knee tucked against her chest, body turned slightly so she was leaning into the corner where the arm met the back. The grin on her face was infectious, wrinkling the corners of her false eye (which highlighted the fact that it was actually set to mimic her natural eye color today).

“Would you just come over here!” She called, tonging pressing against her visible canine. 

“Urgh, _why?”_ The exasperation and tone spoke degrees about the level of teenager the hidden person was indulging in.

“Because, I’m your mom,” Alex replied, nodding her head with each reason she lifted. “And I asked nicely” she ignored the snort which followed, “and you love me, and I really want to talk to my sister about you.”

“But why do I have to be there!”

“Well _obviously_ because your beautiful face needs to be shared with the world!” she threw her prosthetic arm into the air (flesh looking today), exaggerating her tone cheerfully. “But also, because she’s your aunt, so you might also wanna be here.”

“Ugh,” some shuffling, the sound of a teenager heaving themselves out of a chair with momentous effort. “ _Fine!_ But you owe me something shiny from Eodos when we land.”

“Deal,” Alex smiled, holding her good hand out for a shake, sealing the deal with her thirteen-year-old like she would have with business associates back home.

Said teenager immediately flopped down, so she was sitting on the floor. Leaning back against the chair, head resting back against her mother’s leg still tucked up, she eyed anywhere but the camera.

The, very human looking, girl was definitely new to teenage hood, her cheeks still clinging to the ends of baby fat. Her skin was a warm light brown, yet to be inflicted with the horrors of acne. Brown hair had been growing out until recently, where she enjoyed a _minor_ explosion in her makeshift lab and singed a chunk off the side. Rather than subjecting herself to unwanted hairdressing, she’d just taken her switchblade to the remainder – only accepting enough help to get the back resembling even. What remained was jagged, though still slightly wavy, jaw length hair, which wouldn’t _quite_ stay behind her ears.

Dressed in a too big leather jacket, she was the picture of annoyance, all the way up until Alex reached down and scratched just behind her ear. The girl tried to suppress the resulting single dimple smile, looking up at her mom anyway. Alex waited until they had eye contact, very sincerely whispering _“thank you_ ,” and turning back to the camera.

“Hey Kar,” she started, grinning like an absolute moron. “This,” she gave a little shove at the back of the kid’s head with her fingers, just enough to get her to tilt forward and smile at her mom’s antics. “Very cooperative and well-behaved child is Ky,” her grin amped up another notch. “My daughter.”

“Stop smiling like that,” Ky muttered, fiddling with someone below frame, likely her boots.

“You’re not even looking at me!”

“Don’t gotta – I can just tell you have that dopey grin going at like... 100 watts.”

“How dare you insinuate such a thing! I am a _badass_ Ky’lee Danvers! I Captain a _spaceship_ , I was a _secret agent_ , I speak a _dozen languages_ and –“

Giggling at the antics, her single dimple lit up the camera whether she liked it or not.

“Okay, okay! You win – it’s not dopey.”

“That’s right, you-“

“It’s cheesy.”

“That’s it!” reaching out with her bionic arm, she (carefully) grabbed the girl around the waist, hoisting her up onto the chair with her. Before Ky could even catch her breath, Alex’s fingers were digging into the softest part of her stomach – cackling mercilessly when the girl squirmed and screamed between laughter. “Who’s dopey now!?”

“I--- I said--- Cheesy actually!” She shrieked between laughter. Hands swiping uselessly at the fingers pressing into her sides. After a few more moments of just manic laughter she finally yielded – “Uncle! Okay! You’re very, very cool!”

Still giggling, Alex grinned at the kid, allowing her to wiggle away so she was sitting on the edge of the chair, shifting so she rested against her raised knee, and the adult was more sideways on the seat.

“As I was saying!” dramatically turning back to the camera, Alex continued. “This is Ky! She was aboard the original Exodus when we got deported. We’ve been together since the beginning, I guess? This one just wanted to know everything about everything, it got her into some trouble early on, hmmmm?”

Ky shrugged, focused on rubbing at her wrist, where the leather was folded back, rather than the camera.

“She didn’t have any guardian on board, and we later found out that she was actually in the foster system – that’s why she was on the alien registry,” Alex looked back at her daughter, scratching at the soft air at the base of her neck affectionately. “Not quite sure how you got there, huh?”

Ky shrugged again, looking at Alex from the corner of her eye – “but that doesn’t matter, right?”

“Nope, not even a little bit,” she reassured, smiling back until Ky flushed a little and looked back down. “It’s been just us a lot of the time for the last couple of years.”

“She looked out for me,” Ky offered, still not looking up, thus missing the deeply affectionate look softening Alex’s face.

“We looked out for each other. And after my accident-“ she shrugged her left should to indicate _which_ accident. “We had a lot of down time to talk some things out – but didn’t really become official until…” Alex squinted, trying to remember the day.

“You were getting the neural chip calibrated,” Ky muttered, biting her lip. “For your arm? That’s when I said it.”

Alex smiled, nudging the girl with her knee. “Do you wanna tell her what you said?”

There was a long pause, where Alex just let her figure out what she wanted. There was no pressure, either which way, she just wanted to extend Ky the chance to tell her own story. 

Finally, after gnawing on her lip for a minute, Ky set whisky eyes seriously on the camera, so much like her mother’s it was almost biological.

“I said I was the, _aonah im zhehd zhor_ ,” [Daughter of her Heart] “so I should be allowed to stay in the room, even if she was hurting.”

The Kryptonese rolled off Ky’s tongue like a well-worn second language. Something clearly normalized in their lives – but the look she gave the camera spoke of the significance she knew was attached to using that phrase, for this particular audience.

The smile that Alex was directing at her kid was enough to melt away any illusion that she was _badass,_ in any sense of the term.

“I don’t know the word for adopted,” Alex explained, looking back at the camera. “But I figured this was a good substitute, I hope,” her smile dipped into something more melancholic. “You’d approve.”

“She would.”

Widening her eyes and fighting a smile, Alex turned back to her kid. “Oh really? How’d you know that?”

Ky just shrugged, not even looking up from her fiddling.

Pausing more a moment to appraise the girl, Alex eventually refocused on the task at hand.

“Anyway, you know how mom always used to say, ‘ _I hope you have a child just like you’,_ when I was being reckless or obstinate? Yeah, well, she got her wish. She’s too smart for her own good, and stubborn and brave and so staunchly protective it sometimes feels like I’m talking to _you_ \- I think you’d really get along.”

“Will.

Furrowing her brows, Alex asked, “what?”

“I think you _will_ get along. Not you’d, as in _you would_ ,” she explained, actually look at her mother. “We’re almost home.”

Alex smiled, a touch more sad then happy, but nodded anyway.

“Scho’ty’s last report said we were like, 95% there!”

Chuckling, Alex used her fingers to give her shoulder a little shove. “Been reading reports off my desk, again have we?”

“ _Technically_ , it’s _our_ desk, cause it’s in our shared quarters.”

“ _Technically_ , that is classified, and you were snooping,” which received a very mature stuck out tongue in response. “Anyway, it’s not quite that simple.”

“Why, because of the distress signal?”

Eyebrows suddenly in her hairline, Alex actually straightened up for the first time, supporting her own body weight. “What?”

“I heard it same as you,” when Alex’s expression didn’t soften, guilt started to edge into Ky’s tone, and she began to pick more insistently at the cotton sleeve under her jacket. “I didn’t, like, _mean_ to hear _._ I _heard_ it heard it, you know? It just happened!”

“Hey, hey,” her eyebrows dropped at her daughters’ sudden distress. “You’re okay. It’s fine, I know you didn’t do anything wrong. Hey, Ky, look at me,” she tugged her shoulder around so that the girl was more directly facing her. “It’s okay, love, I promise.”

Nodding, but otherwise not looking up, Alex sighed quietly. Tugging at the leather, which was once hers, she dragged the still slightly panicked teenager into a side hug. Resting her chin on her shoulder, she murmured into her ear too quietly for the audio to pick up. Eventually, Ky’s shoulders relaxed, and she nodded in agreement.

“Okay, now go finish off that statistics work I saw jammed down the back of the bed,” Alex ordered softly, leaning away again. Wide, surprised, eyes met hers and Alex chuckled. “A mother see’s everything. Now go, I’ll see you at dinner.”

When the teenager finally stood up, she offered the camera a small smile and a very awkward wave as she passed, the clang of her jumping down from the bridge echoing in the room.

“She really is a good kid, Kar. You’d… you _will_ love her,” Alex turned back, tugging at her own sleeves, hiding her hands in the long-sleeved Exodus uniform. “She’s just… the greatest, ya know? And I _know_ that this makes things complicated, that I can’t just show up at home with a teenager and expect everyone to just, get on board. But it was like fate, or something. Like, from that moment the first ship took off, we were on this collision course. And it has been the best thing to come out of this nightmare – she is the best thing Kara.”

Looking off to the side, where Ky had left the frame, she smiled wistfully. “She reminds me of you guys sometimes. And _I know_ , I know that’s just her picking up on the traits that I picked up from you, but… sometimes she tilts her head just so and its _Maggie._ ” Her eyes glossed.

“Or when someone tries to argue with her, she narrows her eyes and I honestly see Lucy’s Courtroom Glare. Last week! Last week she was stuck on this biology problem, and I actually got to lean over and touch the crinkle between her eyes,” her jaw ticked against tears. “I just love her so much, Kara. If there are any good parts of me left, they’re in her. I… can’t wait for you to meet your niece.” 

* * *

Ringing in a new year without Alex had been a trial, but when Kara’s birthday rolled around all of the Superfriends collectively winced. Kara had been through all the stages of grief by now – in fact all of them had started to settle into an uneasy acceptance. Not that Alex was gone or dead, but that they couldn’t do anything about it. That, if Alex was coming back, it would likely be on her own.

It had been a hard road, and even today Kara was struggling. She’d insisted that there be no big party. That she didn’t want a big hoopla this year.

So, respecting that wish, they’d all agreed to meet up at the dive, because at least that way Kara could have a drink as well. Everyone had even managed to get the night off, including Lena who was still hesitant about the whole alien dive bar scene.

Which is how the party of seven found themselves chatting around one of the larger booths tucked to the side.

Kara was nursing something very alien and very deadly but seemed to be keeping her at a nice buzz. Lucy and Lena had simultaneously ordered the best scotch available (eyeing each other respectfully), which, at this bar, wasn’t saying much. The boys were on their second pitcher. Meanwhile, Maggie stuck to seltzer, given work first thing and, unlike most of the table, she wasn’t her own boss.

“Hey, I just wanted to thank you guys,” not quite a slur, but the edges of her words blurred as Kara interrupted the dull chatter of their table. “You’ve all been so good to me this last year… I don’t know what I woulda done without you.”

“You’ll never have to know LD,” Maggie responds, bumping their shoulders playfully. “We got your back.” Half the table raised their glasses in agreement. It was not missed by most that both Lena and Kara’s hands slipped under the table – but they were letting them come to terms with that on their own (or Lucy was making them anyway).

“I always…” Kara adjusted her glasses with her free hand, heaving a breath. “I thought that without Alex I would lose that safety net, ya know? That person who would always be there? But you guys,” she looked at Lucy and Maggie “have become like the sisters I never had.”

“Awwww,” Winn’s grin was infectious, the girls all finding themselves smiling at one and other.

“How ‘bout a toast?” Maggie waved down the waiter, signaling for another round. Once he was handing out drinks, she raised her own. “To the Danvers sisters – we should come with a warning!”

Kara snorted so hard she cracked her glass, but it had the desired effect. The tension broke as everyone clinked – Lucy adding under her breath “No one could find a warning label big enough for Alex Danvers.” 

* * *

**PERSONAL LOG: KY’LEE DANVERS**

\- Alex’s Family –

“I don’t really know how to start this, so I am just going to start talking,” Ky stated, sitting cross legged on the double bed (actually just two singles jammed together). The wall behind her was intricately decorated, carefully placed constellations etched into the grey metal. “Hi… ah, everyone. My name is Ky Danvers. Ky’lee actually, but no one calls me that anymore, which is good, ‘cause I hate it.”

She shrugged her leather clad shoulders, which an odd outfit combo with her Exodus printed sweatpants and henley. But her mom always said that she _rocked all black_ and could wear whatever made her comfortable. So, pajamas and the jacket Alex arrived on Exodus with it was.

“I don’t even know if all of you know who I am – Mom always asks me if I want to introduce myself to you guys or something, in her diary entries, but it was just… too much pressure. To like, talk to strangers who mean so much to her… So, I almost always made excuses and she’s let me, cause she’s just like that. Never makes me do something unnecessary which stresses me out or makes me uncomfortable. But now I keep worrying that you guys won’t even know who I am.”

For a long pause, Ky just stared down at her legs, resisting the urge to twist the hems. “I built this camera myself, so I’m not sure this is even working,” another shrug, tugging at her right sleeve. “Ella said that I could use the one on the bridge, or even the old communications room, but I don’t like being out…” she waved at something behind the camera “there.”

Her brows dipped, eyes reddening at the edges. “Everyone has this horrible pity when they talk to me – and asking me these stupid question about how I am, and if I need anything, or telling me shit like _it’ll be okay_.” She scoffed, rubbing her cheek. “They don’t know that.”

“I know that she keeps surviving when she shouldn’t, even _before_ this ship. She’s like… indestructible or something. She’s _already_ been kidnapped twice and come back! And like, last year sometime, she was on this trading mission and someone just stabbed her! Like – they were handing off some fuel gems and she turns around just in time to see this dude jump from a nearby roof _right on top of her_! The knife goes right through her shoulder, and she still wrestles him down and holds him steady until he can be arrested!”

The brief smile faded, reality clashing back. “I think she thinks she’s indestructible too. I _know_ that she cares about Craig and Wan – that she feels responsible because she sent them on that pickup alone. But there was no way to know they’d be kidnapped! And even if she was responsible, she didn’t have to go get them herself!”

Smacking her palms down on the sheets, the camera tilted just enough to reveal a side table stacked with tech, some of which was literally spilling off the edge. Wiping angry tears out of the corner of her eyes, Ky reached over and straightened the device, bringing her back into center frame.

“Sorry,” she mumbled. “I’m supposed to be working on my anger. Ma says aliens have to be careful on Earth, that I could get hurt, just because I’m too strong or my eyes change or whatever… hey,” she looked off to the right of the frame before patting the bed much more softly. “Come here buddy, it’s okay.”

The camera dipped a smidge when what can only be described as a large cat jumped onto the bed – orange and shorthaired – it immediately started to paw its way into Ky’s crossed legs. She held her arms up and out of the way as it settled, starting to purr in her lap, the single visible foot kneading away. 

“Meet Gertrude!” The smile was back, even if her cheeks were streaked damp. “I know it’s a stupid name, but my Mom insisted.” She scratched behind the tipped ears; the purring increased. “And like, she bonded with Mom or something – there’s a technical term for what happened but its super complicated and boring. They are just companions or whatever, so no one else could choose. So, she’s stuck with a dumb name – still cute though! ‘Specially in this form.”

“Bet you miss her too, huh buddy?” She asked.

“I hope you like us,” the suddenness of the tone shift was jarring, especially considering Ky neither stopped scratching nor looked up from the ‘cat’. “I hope that… Mom comes back, and she can introduce me and explain that we are _zrhythrevium_ – or family or whatever. So that I don’t have to be alone again,” tears dripped onto Gertrude’s fur. “She’s my person. She’s _always_ taken care of me, even when I wasn’t hers to take care of. I can’t go back to being alone, I can’t do it, I won’t- I – I,” tears were really starting to fall now.

The only reason the video cut off was because she reached up to grip handfuls of her own hair, the camera tilted once more – tumbling off onto the soft sheets – and leaving just the sounds of a young girl’s sobs – praying that her mother would return.

* * *

While Kara’s birthday passed without too much trouble, Hanukkah was still fresh on Winn’s mind. The empty look in his best friends’ eyes that night haunted his days. Occasionally even his dreams – the dreams that weren’t filled with him shoving Alex through a closing ship door, or watching Lyra be dragged out of the dive.

He’d gotten a better handle on things the last couple of months. The girls always checked on him, and James was a near constant in his life. But the dreams still came – now including Kara’s hurt more prominently.

Which is what found him knocking on her door a random Friday after work.

He knew Lucy and Maggie were both working lates, so she’d be alone. And he figured pizza with extra cheesy bread was a good enough ticket into the youngest Danvers apartment.

But knocking resulted in nothing. He was about to give in, figuring she was off superheroing somewhere. But when he glanced down, he could see that there was flickering light coming from under the door.

Carefully, slowly, he turned the nob, pleased that he wouldn’t have to use his spare key.

Inside was dark. Darker than he’d ever seen the place actually. The only light in the entire room was a single candle which Kara had placed on her coffee table, right in front of where she was kneeling.

“Oh,” he murmured, suddenly feeling like an intruder.

“Hey Winn,” her voice was soft – she didn’t turn, but she did relax slightly on her knees.

“I’m sorry, I’ll go-“

“No, no,” now she did turn. Just her head, just enough that he could see her profile. “It’s alright, you can come in.”

Cautiously, he slipped in through the door, unwilling to open it fully on this obviously private moment. Putting the boxes to the side, he slowly stepped over to where his friend remained.

“Do you mind if I finish?” Her voice was slow, softer than he could remember ever hearing it.

“Finish what?” He was just behind her now, to her right. She looked up a little, not quite catching his eye, but looking more fully at him. Then she relaxed her chin, pressing it against her own shoulder.

“I’m praying.”

“…Oh”

“Would you like to join me?”

A year ago, Winn knew that he would have stuttered some excuse. Tried to extract himself from someone else’s tradition and space. He hadn’t even had the courage to ask to join the Danvers’ sister’s Hanukkah – a combination of feeling like an intruder and feeling too distanced from his own Jewish heritage to belong.

But this year, after everything that’s happened, he found himself sinking to his knees beside her, returning the small smile that she offered before she turned back.

“Though we go forth alone, our soul unites us under Rao's gladsome rays.” She paused, breathing deeply for a second.

“We're never lost, never afraid, for we shrink not under the sun of righteousness. Rao binds us to those we love.” Another pause. This time Winn could feel Alex’s absence in the room. “He gives us strength when we have none. And in the darkest places, He guides us. For Rao sees all, feels all, His love eternal. Rao, protect us, so that we might protect others. And we shall rise, a fire in His hearth, burning and free.”

For a long moment, they both just stared at the candle’s light – thinking about those they tried to protect and those they failed. And Winn silently sent out his own prayer, to anyone that may be listening, that someone was protecting Alex Danvers on their behalf.

* * *

LOG: Day 1,324

PASSENGERS: 53

AUTHOR: Acting Captain Drew Anderson

“I have never defied a direct order,” Drew started, sitting very stiffly in the captain’s chair. They were on the shorter side, hair short and messy, entirely human aside from the fact that they could shoot lasers from their eyes and fire from their hands. Their planet had been well structured, ordered. Rules were important, and ultimately what led to their downfall. But they’d been raised this way – it was what made them a good soldier. “Until today.”

They rubbed their hands together, looking nervous and uncomfortable and ready to bolt.

“Al gave herself exactly 28 cycles to get into Warworld, get our crew, and get back. Today marks the 29th. We have not heard from her, but I have not evacuated.”

“She is going to be furious. Maybe – only if something goes wrong. But I just could not bring myself to give the order – I cannot abandon her anymore then she could abandon those taken captive.”

“So… I guess I’m breaking rank?” They scratched anxiously at the underside of a wrist. “Though, technically I’m Captain, so I suppose I make the rules. And, honestly, I will not walk down that hall and inform Ky Danvers that her mom is not coming home with us. I just will not do it – And Alex can write me up for all I care.”

Confidence was growing with each word – conviction and heart taking over from their confined base instincts.

“I won’t leave without her, in fact-“ finally, fire entered their eyes, back straightening, dropping her fiddling hands. "If she doesn’t make contact in the next two cycles, I will send another team down myself. We will not leave our Captain behind.” 


	14. February: Acceptance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter - because guess what happens next?

**PERSONAL LOG: CAPT. ALEX DANVERS**

\- Superfriends -

“…Only minor injuries really. Plus, we picked up this guy, Lincoln? He’s one of the most impressive fighters I’ve ever met, and-“

“And what, pray tell, is this?” A sleek woman stepped into frame, boarding six feet with looks to rival human beauty stars. Alex rolled her eyes, turning in her chair to regard the women.

“Talking to my family Ve.”

The women squinted at the camera, a slow grin dragging up her lips. “Oh, the famous remainder of your triad? Or the… _charming_ sister I hear so much about?”

“Say a single inappropriate thing about my sister,” arching an eyebrow, she playfully growled. “I dare you.”

“Ohhh, so prickly!”

Laughing she asked, “did you need something, Ve?”

“No, no –“ She slipped around the chair, coming to the other side and tipping her body backwards, so that she was dramatically lane across the both arms, in the Captain’s lap. “Just wanted to see what all the fuss is about!”

Alex arched an eyebrow, resting one hand on her stomach, the other reaching behind to grab the back of the chair. “The fuss?”

“Oh yeah, you should hear them out there,” she pitched her voice upwards. _“Oh no, Ve, she JUST got back from the rescue! I couldn’t possibly check the console now! Not while the Captain talks to-“_ sitting up, forehead knocking into Alex’s chin as she raised her head to look into the camera, causing the Captain to blink in shock. “Who are you talking to anyway?”

“My family?” She reiterated, still bewildered.

“You mean, aside from us?”

* * *

They’d talked about it. Like rational, adult women.

Maggie had learned from her mistakes with Alex, and she and Lucy had been getting better at communicating their feelings. Didn’t mean she liked it, but whatever.

So, she persevered, and they’d talked about Valentine’s day. Only Alex had been privy to the story last year, Lucy not quiet at the same emotional stage with the Detective. Or, more willing than Alex to respect the boundaries Maggie set. So, when Alex and her had their collision, Lucy’d been distanced from the whole thing.

Which is why, on February 7th, Maggie sat down and slowly explained why she didn’t want to celebrate. She stoically told the story of her coming out, gritting her teeth through every word, and how she came to live her with aunt. She even expanded where she had previously cut herself off.

 _You shamed me,_ had Lucy tugging her closer, hand disappearing into long hair. _That was the last thing my father said to me_ had Lucy adding to her kill list, silently seething even as she pressed her lips to Maggie’s temple.

Maggie even talked about her aunt – how she’d been difficult that first year, truly expecting her father to come back around, tell her she’d learned her lesson. But when she realized that she could never go back, would never be the kid that he wanted (Lucy’s grip tightened) she’d thrown herself into school. Recognizing she needed a scholarship to get as far away from Nebraska as possible.

She’d even managed a smile when she explained, on her seventeenth birthday, how’d she’d come home with her acceptance to Gotham State, and a Name Change form. How her aunt had cried when she asked if she could be a Sawyer too.

Even if Alex had managed to make it something else, Maggie just couldn’t do a day tainted by her two biggest tragedies. So, Lucy had agreed – Valentine’s day would be a non-event.

Instead, they both planned to be at work on the 14th. Maggie was doing a double, covering for a recently married friend who wanted the day with his wife. Lucy agreed to supervise a prison transfer, which would take her right through into the wee hours of the morning.

However, Maggie had been watching the younger Danvers for months now. Ever since Mon-El returned to his planet, she’d been getting closer and closer and _closer_ to a particular CEO. While Lena’s interest was clear as fucking day, Maggie was pretty sure _dumbass_ was a Danvers family trait. Kara had no idea. 

So, sharing her meddling plans with Lucy resulted in a Galantines Day – dragging Lena and Kara over for dinner on the 13th. The couple cooked, while the other (not) couple enjoyed a drink at their counter, chatting amicably. Lena had become an absolute staple in their little friend group – even though Kara hadn’t officially made her a _Super_ friend.

“Any Valentine’s Day plans Lena?” Lucy asked, oh so innocently. The CEO narrowed her eyes just a little around her smirk, taking another drink. Kara’s suddenly became too casually uninterested.

“Why, are you offering?”

“Well, if Maggie doesn’t mind sharing,” she shot back. Kara’s ears went pink, and she took a much too large mouthful of wine.

“Maggie would like to be kept out of your weird foreplay,” Maggie called from the stove, laughter in her voice.

“Aw babe,” Lucy turned, catching her girlfriend’s hips. “You sure you don’t want in? I think we could show Luthor a good time,” she pressed a kiss to the exposed plane of neck, her hair pulled up in a bun. 

“Oh, I know we could,” Maggie pressed back into the heat, feeling Lucy smile against her skin. “But I think I’m going to keep you to myself.”

“Rao, you’re all so weird,” Kara finally interrupted, adjusting her glasses with too much vigor.

“Actually, I think they’re rather cute,” Lena responded, eyeing the happy couple.

“You should have seen them with Alex,” Kara muttered to Lena, smiling just faintly when the couple started to work around each other, plating food. “They were disgusting.”

“Alex _is_ the sappiest of the three of us,” Lucy concedes, picking up on the conversation. It made her heart throb, just once, at the thought of their missing third. But that pain was no longer debilitating. The sharp edges had softened with time.

“Alex Danvers?” Lena quirked one eyebrow. “Special Agent Alex Danvers? The women who stepped between me and a bullet?”

“The one and only,” Maggie replied, handing over plates so they could relocate to the table.

“Do tell,” Lena offered.

In the beginning, when Lena started to really integrate with the group, she’d avoided bringing up the missing women. After all, her mother was part of the reason she was missing. Plus, Luthor’s coping mechanisms generally included mass death and destruction or avoidance, so she went with option B.

But it hadn’t taken long to realize that Kara _wanted_ to talk about her. That her friends enjoyed the excuse to tell stories about their friend to someone who’d never heard them. That pretending Alex didn’t exist just made them feel alone in their grief. Thus, gradually, she’d started to find ways of asking. Giving them openings to talk about their missing loved one without it being what the whole evening was about. She suspected, based on the look in everyone’s eyes, that this was a deeply appreciated decision.

“Alex came late to the whole… queer relationship thing,” Maggie explained, steeling her beer back from Lucy with a smirk.

“You two were her first proper relationship, right?” Lena asked, recalling an ancient conversation with Kara. At their nod, she smirked. “Way to go Agent Danvers.”

Lucy smirked back (noting that Kara adjusted her glasses at the comment), nodding in agreement. “Go big or go home was kind of her philosophy.”

Maggie rocked their shoulders together in admonishment, but the smile never wavered. “I figured it was ‘cause everything was new and shiny – that she’d eventually get oversaturated and stop being so… gooey.”

Kara snorted, almost choking on her wine. “Alex is a secret marshmallow.”

“Under a Kevlar crust,” Lucy agreed.

“But she was just so _excited_ by everything. Relationship wise. So happy to just wake up in the morning to us being there. Lucy remembering she likes honey in her coffee, or me stealing her clothes. Just the small stuff, ya know? Made her all…”

“Happy,” Kara added, tone dampened just a little, but no less warm.

“But she never got bored with it,” Maggie shrugged, taking another sip of her beer, and automatically handing it to Lucy (despite her insistence that wine was the correct beverage for this meal). “Even after months. She was still this soft sap.”

Kara smiled, reaching a hand into the middle of the table to get the couples attention. “She loved you guys.”

“The feeling was mutual, LD,” even if the words had never been spoken. That was the one thing that they’d yet to accept. Eleven months wore away the expectation that she’d just arrive home, that they’d find some new clue, that a solution would present itself. They’d accepted their reality. But this was the _one thing_ the couple had yet to let go of.

That they may never get the chance to tell Alex Danvers how they felt- No.

That they may never get the chance to tell Alex Danvers how they **_feel_** about her. 


	15. March: Acceptance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone else ready to vibrate into another dimension from caffeine and excitement? Because I am.

LOG: Day 1,533

PASSENGERS: 45

AUTHOR: Captain Alex Danvers

“We made it,” Alex isn’t sitting at her chair. She was standing back, the camera at a higher angle then normal, arms crossed over her grey shirt, overalls tied around her waist. The outfit plus the oil stained fingers and smeared dirt made her seem more like a mechanic then a doctor.

“It’s been over four years, but as of this morning we entered the Milky Way,” her eyes shifted beyond the camera, looking out the massive observation window at the nose of the ship. “I can literally see our solar system.”

She set her eyes back on the camera.

“I just have to complete one final mission and then I can go home,” she pressed her lips together. “A friend of mine, a White Martian, sent out a distress signal months ago. The only reason we intercepted it…” suddenly she shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is that we received another yesterday, and I have an obligation to help.”

She adjusted her feat, squinting at the ground for a moment before refocusing on the task at hand. “She’s hurt, and I’m probably the only doctor in this galaxy who’s specialized in Martian biology. She’s important to me, and my family, so I have to go.”

“But I cannot justify ordering my crew to join me. Not when we are this close to home. Therefore, this remaining mission is going to be entirely voluntary. We will orbit close enough to Earth that one of our jump ships can return anyone who wants to go. Anyone who remains will join me in rescuing the Martian rebellion.”

“So, if all goes to plan, this is the final message I will be recording as the Captain of the Exodus. It, along with all the drives, will be sent along with the Earth-bound crew. I have already asked my second to accompany them, and ensure that if anything goes wrong on Mars, these messages find their way home.”

“If I do not make it back, I just want to say,” her lips thinned for a second, before she tightened her jaw against the onslaught. “It’s been an honor and privilege to Captain this ship.”

“Alex,” the Captain turned, just as a new figure ascended the stairs. Lyra, smirking briefly at the camera. “You almost finished?”

“Yeah – can you call a meeting of the crew? I’d like to address them in the mess within the light.”

“No need,” Alex frowned, turning away from the camera completely to engaged. “Drew talked to everyone.”

“What?”

She sat on arm of the chair to Alex’s right, feet resting on the seat, eyeing her friend. “They told everyone about Mars and your mission and the fact that at least a skeleton crew and some fighters would need to stay on board.”

She uncrossed her arms, the Crinkle™ settling on her face. “So… you’re here to report insubordination? Or some kind of imminent overthrow of my position?” 

Lyra actually laughed. “No, I’m here to report that every single member of the crew volunteered to stay back.”

Alex blinked. Once. Twice. A third time and then dragged a hand through her hair. “What?”

“Did you really think, after all this time, that we’d leave you in the final hours?” She grinned, wide and genuine, at her friend. “And let you have _all_ the fun?”

“Lyra, you don’t have to-“

“Shut up, yes we do,” she stood up again, gripping the edge of Alex’s shoulder and giving it a shake. “You’d do it for any of us.”

“But Ky-“

“Hush, Drew isn’t a complete moron. After everyone jumped on the band wagon, they selected some crew to go down with them,” Lyra leaned forward an inch, as if remembering this was something to be kept between them. “It’s not a particularly well-kept secret, Cap – Your daughter is gonna be fine.”

Finally relaxing her shoulders, Alex smiled. “You going down? I know you worry about Bastian.”

The Valerian laughed, releasing her shoulder with a small shove. “He’ll be fine for another week – and I personally need the time to adjust to the idea that my own personal bodyguard won’t be protecting my ass anymore.”

“Okay… but you know I’m not actually your bodyguard though, right? Like… that isn’t my actual job?” When Lyra just grinned back, Alex rolled her eyes. “Fine, whatever. Who’s goin’ down?”

“Drew wanted Lincoln and Craig for muscle, Ella, Freyer and Dryl for brains and Ve for whatever the fuck else comes up. Plus, Ky and Gertrude – so you’ll be left with about 40?”

“45.”

“Don’t know how you remember that – but at least half of us can survive the atmosphere of Mars. Assuming you approve?”

Alex looked back towards the ship’s internals. Mentally cataloguing the men, women and gender-divergent folks who had agreed to stay aboard, when safety was so close, just out of loyalty to her. Then she thought about the six remainder who would be entrusted with her kids’ life for however long it takes for the rest to get home. She thought about how much had changed, how far she and these people had come, and how she would never have survived without them.

“I gotta talk to the guys, make sure they know what to expect and how to lay low.”

“Not to mention, you have to tell Ky,” Lyra added. “You have fun with that!”

Alex rolled her eyes back to the screen, Lyra taking a step back and letting the captain have her final moment.

“I guess that’s it then,” she looked carefully back up at the camera, as if trying to capture the moment forever in her mind. “Thank you for listening, and I hope that no one ever has to view these messages. See you on the other side – Darla? End communication.” And the screen went blank.

* * *

Maggie’s birthday rolled around almost without anyone noticing.

The anniversary of Alex’s disappearance swamped everyone’s thoughts, obscuring the date’s lurking just behind. This is not to say that Maggie was in any way different. The idea of celebrating her 30th, with everything else surrounding the week, was almost incomprehensible. She was completely prepared to just let the day pass without comment – it’s not like she’d grown up with a lot of celebrations.

But Lucy had put her foot down. Neither of them grew up with the happy, healthy family lives that they deserved, and it was time they started indulging. Being part of the Superfriends meant folks showed up – that you could have a birthday with people who loved you around. Considering that almost every single member of their little group had either lost their entire families to world-wide destruction, or had varying degrees of crappy childhood’s, they all probably deserved some uncomplicated celebration. 

This is what led to Maggie, very uncomfortably, standing at the head of their dining room table, listen to the strangled tones of her friends singing. Kara clearly had a voice, maybe Winn, but they were _alone_ in that.

The cake was dairy-free tiramisu, picked up from her favorite artisan bakery in Gotham, courtesy of Kara. They’d jammed a dozen candles on, despite Kara’s protests that she has the exact numbers of years she was turning. Lucy and Lena had cooked, which turned out mostly okay, and the guys brought the booze (J'onn bringing the Lucy approved liquor). It was the perfect evening – singing aside.

But then they drew to a close. Kara eagerly presenting the cake, candles ready to be blown out. Through her grin she reminded Maggie to _“make a wish!”_ And then after a second- _“Oh! But don’t tell us or it doesn’t come true!!”_

Smiling indulgently at her surrogate sister and she looked down in the light. Next to her, Lucy slipped the tips of her fingers under the hem of her shirt, scratching at revealed skin. The room was warm and happy and honestly, for a second she didn’t know what there was to wish for. But there would always be something missing, no matter how much they accepted their new reality, no matter how happy they were.

So, Maggie closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and blew. For the rest of the night, no matter how much she was laughing and smiling, an echo clung to the edges of her mind. _Alex._

* * *

The evening had only been _slightly_ sidetracked by every law enforcement officers phone going off. Even James’ Catco phone vibrated, leaving Lena literally alone in Alex’s apartment assuring Kara that _of course she understood, reporting a story like this is your job!_ Maggie allowed herself a smirk – she was actually concerned Kara couldn’t tell that Lena knew. How many other people out there were aware Kara Danvers was Supergirl but just liked her too much to tell her?

Regardless, Maggie and Lucy loaded into the SUV still parked downstairs from the morning, Supergirl hot on their tail. Lucy drove while Maggie called in her badge number, letting dispatch know that an unmarked vehicle was taking pursuit.

They, along with two other marked cars, caught up to the truck on the National Bridge, Lucy’s erratic driving style working to their advantage.

Maggie was leaning out the window and firing at the tires – knowing full well making it back onto the main road was a public safety nightmare. Only Lucy’s weaving maneuver and her yanking Maggie back into the car by her belt saved one or both of them from injury.

“Nice driving Lane,” she called over the roar of the open windows, reloading as they picked up speed again.

“Nice ass, Sawyer,” Lucy winked back – a mistake, even though it made Maggie’s stomach swoop pleasantly, because that’s the moment the truck slammed on the brakes. “Shit!”

“He’s dragging us!” The least of their concerns, because suddenly the back of the truck rolled open, revealing a very large man with a very large gun. “Lane-“

Fortunately, the whole car jolted as Kara appeared, full Supergirl regalia, absorbing the hail of automatics bullets. After a moment of fire, she ripped the entire weapon from its steal underpinning. While the assailant tried to run, she knelt down and turned, the truck still moving at full speed and dragging her sisters’ girlfriends.

“You guys okay?” Wide panicked eyes.

“Yes! Go get the bad guy!” Lucy just shouted back, gesturing wildly at the escaping man.

“Oh! Right!” And she lifted off, the force unhinging their vehicle and leaving them behind.

By the time they caught up with him, the explosion of Supergirl bodily stopping the truck had died down, leaving just the smoldering remains and a shell-shocked mother and son.

“Supergirl, you’re the best!” Shouted the kid who literally just watched his life flash before his eyes. 

As they pulled up, Kara was still checking in on the pair, making sure they were okay to get home on their own. The couple came out, guns ready, just as Supergirl turned around. She was immediately in front of them, Maggie blinking in shock at her sudden closeness.

“Are you okay? I’m so sorry! There was a burglary at a convenience store, and I didn’t think you would beat me there! And _Maggie_ it’s your birthday! I’m so-“

“Hey, it’s alright,” Maggie assured, holstering her gun when it became clear that none of the truck’s occupants were walking any time soon. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, course, bounced right off me!”

“Think you can try and find the guy you knocked a hundred yards into an SUV?” Lucy asked, eyeing the damage to the front of the truck.

“Oh! Right!” And she was off.

* * *

Lucy didn’t get the call about the gentleman Kara threw until she was already half asleep. After the… exciting evening they’d had yesterday they were ready to crash by the time they got off their respective shifts.

“What?” She didn’t mean to snap into the phone, but Winn calling when her very warm bed and even warmer girlfriend were inches away was not her ideal evening.

“Sorry! I know its late and your night off! I just got an alert. We may have tracked down the Merc. Supergirl is already on her way here.”

Groaning, Lucy threw her legs over the side of the bed. “Okay, I’m on my way. Do _not_ tell her anything until I get there, you hear me? If she runs off halfcocked, I’m holding you responsible.” Then she hung up, already hunting for her discarded tac pants.

“Kara alright?” Maggie asked groggily, leaning up on an elbow.

“Yeah, but Winn got a hit off the blood so I’m heading in.”

“Need backup?” 

“No, no,” she answered, hopping as she dragged on the pants. “You sleep.”

“Be safe, alright?" She dropped back into the bed. "Love you.”

“Always," Lucy said back, leaning over and pressing a warm quick kiss goodbye. "And I love you too,” 

* * *

Lucy was still blinking sleep out of her eyes when she arrived at the DEO – late to the party if Supergirl’s impatient foot tapping and Winn’s nervous eyes were anything to go by.

“Lucy! Thank god!” Winn called, already turning back to the computer.

“You were able to trace the Merc with his blood?” She responded as she approached the monitors showing a familiar looking man’s face.

“Meet Robert DuBois. Goes by Bloodsport, which is not any sport I've ever heard of.”

“What do we know about him?”

“You remember those bombings at City Hall, a few years ago? That was him. And, he's been AWOL ever since.”

“AWOL? Is he military?” Lucy asked.

“Bingo! Stationed Fort Harrison. Like 20 minutes outside the city.”

Internally groaning, and externally pinching her nose, Lucy spoke up. “My father oversees that base.”

Winn winced in sympathy. “He worked a security detail, so he'd have knowledge of all the ins and outs of the base. He could sneak on, locate weapons, technology, anything he wanted to really.”

“Winn, call his CO. See what they know about him,” Kara ordered, already on the move – to do what, Lucy didn’t even want to know. Investigate a military compound without DEO say so?

“Whoa, whoa!” Winn called, forcing Supergirl back. “Okay, the base server is down. This system is scrambled. Somebody hacked it.” _Fuck._

“I’ve got it,” and she was off. On her own. Without backup.

“She has _got_ to stop doing that!” Which was a fair statement, because no less than an hour later a slightly singed and still smoking Supergirl was in central command. Sheepish smile doing nothing to quill Lucy’s temper.

“And just when exactly were you going to notify us that you had a Daxamite war ship in your possession?” Lucy winced, J’onn’s furious voice carrying from across the room. “Alien artifacts are the DEO's purview. You can rest assured I will talk to the President, General Lane. And if anything happens as a result of your overreach, you mark my words, she'll have your stars.”

 _God_ why did that feel so much like her dads were fighting? She needed to get a grip on this professionalism problem the Superfriends seemed okay with.

“Respect!” Winn certainly didn’t seem phased by the position this particular conflict put her in.

“Whilst I appreciate the nod of confidence, Agent Schott, do you have any words that might actually help us?” J’onn growled back, at least offering Lucy an apologetic look.

“Words, no. Pictures, definitely. Um... I had the military supplier that DuBois robbed inventory what was taken. It turns out it was not just aluminum rods.” Winn pulled something up on the screen well beyond Lucy’s 101 science from college.

“That's a high-pressure regulator,” ah, the benefits of having ridiculously smart aliens around. “Aluminum rods were just a cover. That was his real target.”

Lucy tilted her head, keeping an eye on the concern growing in J’onns eyes. “What would DuBois need that for?”

“Well, he also stole the cloaking device from the Daxamite ship. With the regulator, he could stabilize the internal pressure of an aircraft to withstand the force emitted by a cloaking shield,” Winn thought aloud, concern growing in his voice as he unpacked the problem. “He’d be able to retrofit it into a fully cloaked aircraft – our equipment wouldn’t be able to detect that.”

“ _I_ wouldn’t be able to detect that,” Kara helpfully added, finally standing as the reality of the problem set in.

“So, hypothetically, he could drop a nuke from the sky, and nobody in National City would even know he was overhead?” Lucy asked – she had _not_ had enough sleep for this. 

“Until it's too late…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I CANNOT SIT ON THESE CHAPTERS! THEY ARE MY FAVOURITE AND EVERY TIME YOU GUYS REVIEW EXCITED FOR WHAT HAPPENS NEXT I GET EXCITED AND I AM FORCED TO UPDATE THREE TIMES A DAY!


	16. The Girls of Steel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SCREAMS INTO A VOID

Maggie honestly thought the freaken’ massive Supergirl insignia was a little much. But then, so was Lena’s crush on the alter ego, so who was she to split hairs?

The whole waterfront was packed, and honestly, it was a surveillance nightmare. Even the DEO hijacking the security cameras was insufficient. Thus, Lucy had asked the NCPD to provide extra eyes. Which, at the very least, gave her a nice walk along the pier.

Lena had given them a heads up on her timeline for the unveiling of the Supergirl statute that the city (and _Lena_ ) had commissioned in her honor. Something that made the actual Girl of Steel stutter and blush and adjust her glasses at when she found out. The Danvers sisters, my lord. But at least that gave her an idea of how much time she had to kill, even as she kept her eyes sharp.

“Enjoying the view out there, Sawyer?”

“Be better if you were here, Lane,” she shot back, smiling as she found an open area near the railing.

“Gross, guys!” Kara’s voice seemed to contain a smile, but Maggie couldn’t be sure. “Get off the coms!”

Lucy’s laugh came through, sending her girlfriends stomach swooping pleasantly and pulling a smile onto her face. “No, but seriously Mags. You got anything down there?”

Maggie scanned the crowd, but it looked pretty clean. “Are you even sure what I’m meant to be looking for?”

“Something suspicious?” Kara answered… kinda.

“I’ll keep you posted,” rolling her eyes, Maggie looked back at the stage, just as she heard a _loud_ bark.

“Whoa, hey!” turning on a heel, the cop resisted the urge to back the fuck up, as a huge German Shepard approached at high speed. “Gert! Gert _stop!”_

Gert did not _stop_. In fact, all at once there was a dog bouncing off its front paws, planting them on her shoulders – grinning maw inches from her face.

Maggie did react then, even through her shock. Carefully, she lifted the legs off her and stepped back, so the animal dropped back to four legs. It did not, however, lose interest. Instead it circles her, sniffing at the ground around her feet, tail going a mile a minute.

“I am _so_ sorry!” the voice from before apparently belonged to a teenager, who was only now skidding to a stop by the dog. Reaching for ‘Gert’s’ collar, she tried to pull her away, but to no avail. “I don’t know what’s gotten into her!”

The dog did budge, but just enough to sit itself right in front of the still shell-shocked Maggie, wagging its tail and looking up hopefully. She barked once, and it honest to god looked like she was smiling.

“Making friends out there, Sawyer?” The laughing voice of Lucy interrupted.

“Shhhhh – she’s so cute!” Kara squealed, obviously enjoying the show from above.

“Do _not_ break formation to pat a dog Supergirl, I swear to god,” but there was a smile in Lucy’s voice.

“Gert, _come on_ ,” the girls focus was still on tugging the dog away, seeming genuinely surprised by her behavior. “Are you o-” looking up when the dog showed literally zero interest in obeying, the words died in her mouth. “Oh.”

The kid’s eyes were wide. For a second Maggie thought might be that she was in her windbreaker, so visibly a cop. But the girl seemed interested in her face, not her status. “You okay, kid?”

“Um… yeah, course.” She released the collar and straightened up, fixing her oversized leather jacket awkwardly. “Yeah. Totally okay – nothing weird here.”

Okay, _weird_ , but Maggie dealt with all kinds when she was on the beat. Plus, teenagers were always kinda off around cops. The girl looked normal enough, jaw length, barely maintained dark hair, brown skin, browner eyes. The oddest thing about her look was that she was in all black in the middle of California – Black pants, black henley, military style boots (which looked pretty beaten) and black leather jacket, rolled at the sleeves.

“Might want to leash her,” Maggie nodded at the still heeling dog. “A lot of people around, might get lost.”

Another too long pause before she started, seeming to realize Maggie spoke. “Right! Yes, of course. Leash my very normal dog. Right. I’ll, ah, get on that.” Finally seeming to obey, the dog gave Maggie a final (happy?) bark and followed the girl, who quickly retreated into the crowd.

“Teenagers are odd,” Lucy muttered into the coms, and Maggie was inclined to agree.

“Aw, she was cute! Be nice!” Kara called, and Maggie caught a glimpse of her lingering by a rooftop watching.

Thankfully, Lena appeared on stage. Giving Kara something else to ogle.

“Ladies and gentlemen of National City, please welcome the chairwoman and CEO of LCorp, Lena Luthor!” The crowd clapped, and Maggie found herself genuinely happy for her grinning friend.

“Now, I know you all didn't come here to see me. So, I'll start with the good stuff, and then I'll say just a few very brief words. My fellow citizens of National City, the Girl of Steel!” And the curtain fell. Maggie actually felt pride swell in her chest for her super-powered sister.

“I am so honored to be able to present this statue of our hometown hero. Some of you must be thinking, I know. It's a cold day in hell, a Luthor praising a Kryptonian. But ever since I came here, she has been an inspiration to me. She's been a mentor, and most importantly, she's been a friend.”

“Oh, is that all?” Lucy added, forcing Maggie to cough to cover her laughter. That certainly wasn’t the speech of the average Supergirl fangirl.

And then, just as Maggie was about to suggest Kara join the crowd, everything went to hell.

The entire waterfront seemed to shudder – the ground shaking so hard that glass shattered. Immediate chaos ensued, the screaming crowd scattering in every direction.

“Winn, did you see where that missile came from?” Supergirl asked, landing hard with J’onn a couple yards from Maggie as she helped the crowd disperse. 

“We have no heat signature, okay, there's no atmospheric disruption, there's no electromagnetic trail,” Winn’s frantic voice responded.

“Maggie can you see anything?” Lucy asked. Maggie’s mind picked up on her girlfriend switching into her Director persona, pushing away the fear that was probably gripping her.

“Negative visual contact. It came out of nowhere – I can’t even see where it hit,” she responded, dragging a fallen woman to her feet.

“Okay, you know what? We're pulling up every security feed within a two-mile radius. There's got to be an origin point!”

“J'onn, can you locate DuBois telepathically?” Lucy asked a clipped tone.

“I can't sense DuBois' mind!” Meanwhile, Supergirl landed hard next to Maggie, eyes searching.

“I don't get it. The cloaking device should not be able to cloak a missile,” Winn voice dropped, likely talking away from the speaker to Lucy.

Suddenly, Kara’s head snapped up, eyes fixed out to open ocean just beyond. “The pressure regulator wasn't meant for high altitude, it was meant for low altitude,” she walked over to the railing. “They’re under water.”

And then another explosion hit, so hard it literally split the concrete underneath their feet. Windows in every building nearby shattered, the screaming intensified. 

“I cannot track that explosion to the source, you guys. The radar is not picking up any underwater signals.”

“I'll clear that building, Sawyer, stay on the waterfront!” J’onn called, disappearing into the air. “Supergirl, find that submarine,” and Kara was off too.

Maggie looked around at the total mayhem, and for the first time notice that something was off. Every single person was screaming, running in opposing directions, just trying to get away. And in the middle of that chaos stood three people. Two, older, further back, who were helping strangers up and away – lifting fallen debris, even blocks of concrete, with ease.

And closer, barely five yards from Maggie, stood the girl from before, dog gone. Her eyes were locked in the sky, fixed on where Supergirl hovered. She stood stock still, no fear, no panic. Just watching.

And then Kara dove – streaking through the sky in that way that only supers could. The girl’s eyes followed, and Maggie twisted around to watch her surrogate sisters’ trajectory.

She hit the water about 100 yards ahead – vanishing into the open ocean instantly. Maggie grabbed the balcony, eyes still searching uselessly.

“She can’t breathe underwater,” the girl from before was next to her, eyes also fixed where Supergirl had just vanished. Maggie wasn’t 100% sure about Kryptonian physiology, but she was inclined to agree.

Then, there was another explosion. But this one wasn’t from impact with the pier. It detonated about 50 yards ahead, the water bursting upwards, bringing massive debris with it. 

“Supergirl!” Lucy and Maggie’s twin shouts were not answered, and both their hearts sunk. The panic even knocked the military out of the Director. 

“Fuck,” and suddenly the girl was stripping off her jacket.

Maggie turned, so absolutely shocked that she didn’t even get a chance to reach out when she flung the layer away, taking a couple of steps back before making a running leap.

“What the-“ the Detectives heart leapt straight into her throat, shock and horror swallowing any response. It’s not every day that you watch a teenager dive headfirst into the ocean, during a missile fight, without hesitation. It also isn’t every day that they do so at super speed, her body rocketing forward once she launched off the railing and into the water.

Meanwhile, Lucy and Winn had shifted gears. Pure fear driving them to break all kinds of protocols. Winn’s whispered _Kara,_ broken only by how Lucy desperate asked _“Kara, please answer us!”_

* * *

She knew it was dumb as she was doing it. Chasing down speeding missiles while _underwater_ is the exact kind of thing that made Lucy threaten to write her up. She wasn’t exactly sure what writing up a superhero looked like, but she was pretty sure that Lucy Lane could make anything happen. So, she generally tried to stay on her good side

But she did the stupid thing anyway, because civilians were on that pier. And also, if she was honest with herself, so was Maggie. _Take care of each other,_ still echoed in her head every day.

And then the missile exploded, practically in her hands, and she blinked out of consciousness.

It felt like she had been knocked directly into a dream – her own dream. The one that had been repeating for over a year. Alex, that field on Krypton, the peace of it all. It was new though, because Alex was speaking. Shouting – furious.

_“Wake up!”_

Someone’s hands were tangled in the clasps of her cape. Which didn’t make any sense, because she was clearly still underwater. Blinking rapidly, she honestly thought the girl before her, actively dragging her body to the surface, was a hallucination. Then they broke the surface – both gasping for breath.

Coughing for a moment, still keeping one hand gripped on the supersuit, the girl used the other to drag the wet hair out of her face. “Are you alright?”

Which, really, is the question _she_ asked. Then the water shifted.

 _“Shit,”_ the girl looked towards where the ship approximately was, eyes wide. “I got the missile; you get the ship!” And then she dived – no time for discussion apparently.

Kara pushed away her shock, taking another breath and then dived – noting that the girl was already catching the speeding explosive.

Focusing on the assigned task, she dove under the submarine – pressing hard on its underbelly. Keeping careful balance on the giant machinery, she forced it up until it breached the water’s surface. Lifting it high into the air, she only just caught a glimpse of another explosion just under the water’s surface.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact: The opening scene on the waterfront was the first scene I ever thought of for this fic.


	17. When Worlds Collide

When Ky Danvers regained consciousness, she instantly wished she hadn’t. Literally everything hurt – from her toes to her ears. Plus, the beeping off to her right was already digging into her brain, making the headache worse.

She lifted herself onto an elbow, blinking at the new surroundings. It was a hospital room? Maybe? But her memory of Earth hospitals was much lower tech then this place… and much more depressing.

This place still had that new shine, the walls gleaming, the machinery advanced. Even the bed she was laying on was better than the one she’d been subjected to when she was registered.

When she tried to move beyond her elbows, a groan escaped. _Fuck_ she was so dead.

“Whoa, okay, hey,” _so fucking dead._ Because, apparently, Maggie fucking Sawyer had been keeping guard. Only now did the Detective turn to face the bed, hands raised but hesitating to actually physically restrain her from sitting up. “How ‘bout you stay down, huh?”

Ignoring that, because she really had to get out of here, she pushed herself up until she was resting on her hands. “Where am I?”

That seemed to stump the women for a moment, her mouth opening and closing. “Ah, a government facility.”

“ _What!?”_ she swung her legs off the bed. If she got caught up by social services-

“No, no! We’re not gonna keep you or anything, you’re okay,” Maggie interrupted that thought, hands finally dropping to her sides. “You were hurt, so my people decided it was safer to bring you back here, rather than take you to a hospital.”

Suddenly it occurred to her - “This is the DEO.”

“You know about the DEO?”

Giving her a skeptical look, Ky inched off the bed, keeping her hands braced as her legs protested. “Hey! Would you stay in bed for a minute? You literally stopped a missile with your body, kid.”

Ky shrugged, slowly lifting her hands and testing her balance. Not too bad – she’d dealt with worse. “See? I’m fine. Now I have to go.”

Maggie stepped in time with her, not letting her inch towards the door.

“Can’t let you do that.”

The girl looked the Detective up and down, smirking. “You planning on stopping me?”

That brought her up short. “Ah…”

“She won’t, but I might,” and there was Supergirl. _Fuck me._

“Truth, Justice and the Detainment of Minors?” Ky shot back, forcing a faux casual tone. “Guess that is the America way.”

The caped hero’s eyes went so wide, Ky had to suppress a snort. “It’s not _detainment_! You almost died!”

“No,” she looked around for her shoes, finding them just to the right. It was only now that she realized she was in dry, foreign DEO issue clothes. “ _You_ almost died. I made a calculated decision.”

“To stop a missile with your body?”

“It worked didn’t it?”

That stumped them again, giving her time to jam on the untied boots. They were still sopping wet, but that was fine. She needed to get out of here. She ducked past the human, managing to get out to the balcony overlooking the main operation.

“Wow,” the girl breathed, eyes soaking in the awesomeness that was this place. “ _This_ is the DEO?”

“What did you expect?” Maggie, again, now at her side, eyes waiting for any stumble.

“I don’t know – more cloak and dagger, less advanced military operation.”

“Ha! You should meet our Directors.”

“Can I?” Damnit – that was definitely the wrong thing to ask. Because now the superhero was nodding eagerly and leading them down the stairs. Towards Lucy Lane or J’onn J’onzz. Ky just couldn’t help it – it was like meeting your actual childhood hero’s, the people her mother told bedtime stories about. _She was so completely dead._

They were at the bottom of the stairs, Maggie still inching behind her cautiously, when she saw her. Kara did this very endearing hand sweep, ignoring the dubious look that Lucy gave her. “Meet Co-Director Lane!”

“Great, awesome secret-government-facility keeping,” Lucy almost hissed back, walking over to meet them. But she still fixed worried eyes on Ky. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she responded, suddenly aware that the Martian could be anywhere, psychic powers and all. “If you could just show me to an exit, I’ll be on my way.”

Lucy glanced uncertainly at her escorts. “What’s your name, kid?”

“What, so you can look me up on the registry?” Ky genuinely did not mean that to come back so argumentative. Her mother’s arched eyebrow and warning look flashed behind her eyes.

“Do you have something against the registry?” Kara asked. And suddenly, she remembered her mom explaining that it was intended as a good thing – gave aliens basic rights and freedoms. Make life safer. It was just that her personal experience was far worse than average, even for an Exodus crewmember.

“Are _you_ registered?” The Crinkle™ formed. “Didn’t think so. Again, an exit?” 

But before anyone could do something deeply annoying like _worry_ about her, there was a flash. Just in the corner of her eye, but enough to make her turn. _For fucks sake._

Standing just to her right was Ve, staring right at her in all her translucent, astral projection glory.

Lucy and Maggie both went for their side arms.

“Found her,” Ve said, speaking to people in another room on the other side of the city. She looked behind herself, at nothing anyone at the DEO could see. “She’s fine Drew, stop worrying.” Looking back, she squinted directly at Ky, “we’ll be there in a second.” And then she vanished.

“What the-“

Ky spin back, stepping up to Lucy. “If your people are particularly trigger happy, you might want to tell them to stand down, like, right now!”

Her eyes flicked back to Ky, eyebrows dropped. “What are you talking about?”

“You’re about to get a bunch of unwanted visitors, and I _highly_ recommend not shooting them.”

“Shooting-“ Too late.

A jumping portal opened up just up the stairs by the balcony, behind their little group. All four of them spun around, as did every agent in the room. Everyone but Ky and Kara drew their weapons – eyes trained on the unfolding madness.

Ella and Drew jumped through. Drew landed hard on one knee, while El skidded to a stop, just before the first step.

“Stand down!” A new voice shouted, coming down from the opposite side Ky had been treated. Director J’onzz.“Hold your fire!”

The order was followed, but no one dropped their weapons, even the small group surrounding Ky. Drew stood, motionless, eyes fixed on the various guns. Conversely, El was unconcerned, running a finger along the railing as she descended the stairs.

“Shinny place you got here!” she called, grinning widely at Lucy as she approached, gun still leveled at her.

“Guys, you did _not_ have to come here,” she hissed back, taking note of how stiff Drew looked.

“You know these guys?” Maggie asked, gun lowering just a notch.

“Ah… yeah, their kind of my guardians?” Not entirely inaccurate?

“Just while her mom is off-world!” El answered, entirely too honestly. Jesus. But the answer made Maggie lower her gun completely, a few nearby agent’s half following her example.

Now that the immediate danger had decreased, Drew finally made their way down to the lower level, marching right over to Ky. El occupied herself by poking at a computer nearby, making the IT guy there jump to his feet with a yelp.

“Is she free to go?” Drew’s raspy voice came out very demanding, but the fury in their red eyes spoke to how much they were restraining themselves at the moment. _So_ dead.

Maggie and Kara both glanced over at her, seeming to be waiting for an indication that all was well. When she forced a half smile back, Lucy was who responded, finally holstering her weapon. “Of course – we aren’t in the business of holding minors against their will.”

“Excellent!” El clapped, and the IT guy literally inched away, clutching his tablet to his chest.

Ky stepped away from her entourage, towards Drew, whose eyes softened just a little at her obvious hesitation. Reaching out and grabbing her by her shoulders, they moved to check her over. Eyes flickering up and down her body, looking for any sign of injury.

“You’re okay?”

“I’m _fine_.”

“She got hit with a missile,” Maggie countered.

Drew’s eyes widened, and Ky winced. Awesome. They hadn’t known that. But eventually, her mom’s Second sighed, giving her a gentle shake. “Given your family, I know there’s practically no hope of you _not_ putting on a stupid outfit and saving the day – but could you at least wait until you aren’t my charge anymore?”

“I’m sorry I worried you,” which was genuinely true. She had zero intention of doing anything when she went down to the waterfront. She’d even brought Lincoln and Freyer! It was just too tempting, knowing her aunt might be just a few blocks away. All she wanted was a glimpse.

Sighing, they released her, scuffing up her hair before wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

“Don’t worry KD!” El called, already walking back towards them from her adventure in terrifying the techy. “We won’t punish ya!” She twirled around just as she passed Lucy, making the other women’s eyebrows shoot up at the antics. Walking backwards, still facing the superfriends, she called “your mom will take care of that for us!” 

Groaning, but accepting her fate, she let Drew start to lead her up the stairs, towards the still hovering portal. Okay, so things would be bad in a couple days, but nothing _really bad_ happened here. It could have been so much wors-

“Wait,” fuck. “I’m sorry,” J’onn wasn’t exactly blocking their exit, but he was half standing in the way. Deep eyes were fixed on Ky, even though she avoided contact completely. “Have we met before?”

Even Drew’s arm stiffened. They must have finally put two and two together.

“Nope,” she popped the ‘p’, hoping nonchalance was effective. She couldn’t even make eye contact to sell the half-lie, so she had little hope.

The Director seemed to hesitate for a moment – caught between his gut (something in his mind twinging) and this girl’s obvious anxiety around him. Eventually he acquiesced, stepping completely out of the way with a nod. But the entire way through the portal, every single eye was fixed directly on Ky. 

* * *

“What in the hell was _that_?” Lucy asked the room at large, already rubbing at a developing headache.

“I _think_ they were aliens?” Winn offered, still clutching his tablet and staring at the now vanished portal.

“What gave it away? The leaves for hair, or the indestructible teenager?” Lucy snarked, already walking back towards the central console, Maggie and Kara a step behind her. J’onn was still frowning and retreated back to his office while Lucy debriefed.

“The girl with the hair is Alstairan,” Kara offered, hopping up to sit on a desk, gathering her cape on her lap. “Not sure about the other two though.”

“How many aliens do we know that can withstand that kind of damage, and sleep it off?” Lucy groaned, dropping herself on a rolling chair. Maggie stepped behind her, placing a hand around the base of her skull and provided a much-needed neck rub. Screw professionalism – today _sucked._

“Oh, a _bunch_ ,” Kara supplied, legs swinging a little even as she looked upwards as if thinking. “Humans are particularly squishy to be honest. But she was just a kid – most species grow into that kind of invulnerability.”

“My question is, why she jumped in after you,” Maggie inserted, fingers doing something _magical_ to Lucy’s headache. “She didn’t even seem to think about outing herself or the danger – she just saw Supergirl go down and was immediately in that water.”

“You talked to her beforehand right?” Winn injected, finally relaxing his hold on the tablet as he leaned next to Kara. “Did she say or do anything… alien?”

Maggie frowned, thinking back. “… I don’t think she was alone… Winn, can you pull up the security footage after the second missile hit?”

“Who do you think I am?” A couple clicks and all the screens were filled with images of the attack.

Together, they all watched the strange calm that the girl had embodied during the event. How she had simply watched Kara listen for DuBois’ heartbeat. How she had approached the railing to see what unfolded. How the moment Kara was in trouble, she was diving.

“Wow,” Kara murmured, legs no longer swinging.

“Are we recruiting? Cause that is some next generation superhero behavior right there!” Winn agreed.

Ignoring the implications of hiring a minor, Maggie pushed forward with her thought. “Wind it back? … there!” He paused; the camera focused on one of the people she’d seen during the chaos. “He wasn’t running either. I remember him literally catching a falling tower to save a little girl. And there! That women just kept helping people up, lifting them out of the way.”

“So… what are we thinking? Secret underground superhero aliens have arrived in National City?”

But Maggie wasn’t listening. The guy was completely unfamiliar – not just personally, but also alien wise. He looked human. The only distinguishing feature (aside from the super-humsan feats of strength) was that the entirety of his arms were tattooed black – just leaving the tanned hands exposed. Even the collar of his shirt revealed the same ink running down his chest. Unfamiliar.

The women was ringing a bell – she was willowy. Her skin seemed to glow, even on the monitor. She looked kind – gentle. And _familiar._

“Does anyone else recognize her?” Maggie asked, pointing at the relevant monitor.

Noises of disagreement followed, but Maggie narrowed her eyes. _Something_ about her just stuck out – like a long-forgotten name, you know you know, but can’t articulate it.

“You are the go-to-girl for alien activity on the street Mags,” Lucy offered, eyeing her focused girlfriend. “You probably ran into her on the job or something.”

“Maybe…” but her eyes were narrow. _Familiar._

“Anyway!” Kara jumped off the table, unsettling Winn from his position. “They’re obviously the good guys, so what’s the worry?”

“The _worry_ is that we can’t let civilian teenagers get hurt on one of our operations,” Lucy grunted back, kneading her own head now that Maggie was distracted. “It’s a public safety nightmare – not to mention a public _relations_ nightmare.”

“Well, if we see them in the future, we’ll just tell em to scram, right? It’s not like they did anything _wrong_! Plus, the girl literally saved my life… I think. Whatever, she helped. I don’t want to like… punish her for it or something!”

“Course not,” Lucy dismissed, waving a hand at the thought. “But we can keep an eye on them. Winn,” he stood to attention. “Can you set up some kind of facial recognition program? I want to know if any of them are involved in any other criminal activity, got it?”

“On it boss!”

“And _you_ ,” swinging around to point a finger at Supergirls slowly retreating form. “Where do you think _you’re_ going.”

“Oh, well,” Lucy resisted a smile as Supergirl reached up to adjust Kara’s missing glasses. “You see, Lena kinda had an emergency yesterday? A Catco related thing! And she wanted to meet me for lunch… so I was just gonna,” she pointed behind her shoulder, indicating towards her balcony.

“Fine but stay on your coms!” Lucy called, Supergirl gone before she’d even finished her sentence.

* * *

Maggie had retreated back to her actual job at the station to report into her captain. Meanwhile, Lucy had a mountain of paperwork involving treating an alien minor without parental consent in her super-secret government facility – so they were both busy. But, six-thirty found Maggie knocking on J’onns office (almost exclusively used by Lucy when she was base hopping) picking her up for dinner at Kara’s.

“You okay there, Sawyer?” Lucy asked, glancing over at the strangely quite Detective in the passenger seat.

“Yeah,” she absentmindedly responded, light from streetlamps illuminating the furrowed brows. “Just thinking.”

“Do I need to find a penny, or…”

Maggie looked over with a smile. “No, it’s nothing really. I’m still just stuck on that women from this afternoon.”

“The alien from the waterfront?”

“Yeah…” she looked back out the window, biting her lip. “The whole _day_ felt like an unstoppably weird dream. And now this is stuck on my mind… I’m sorry.” She rubbed at her face, turning back to Lucy. “How are you? I know that the admin for that operation must have been a disaster.”

“You have _no_ idea,” Lucy muttered, pulling into Kara’s street and parking. Unbuckling, she turned to face Maggie before they disembarked. “Are you okay? I know that being on the pier was probably rough – it was bad enough from headquarters.”

Maggie swallowed, looking up at the building they were about to enter. “It was terrifying, when I realized she was hit,” turning back to her girlfriend, she offered a half smile. “But that’s why we’re here right? Get that good old-fashioned reassurance that Little Danvers is okay, and then we can actually sleep tonight.”

Laughing, Lucy waited to respond until they were side by side, walking into the building. “When exactly did we become so protective of a literal superhero?”

Maggie smiled, linking their hands. “I think when we fell in love with her over-protective sister – rubbed off on us a little.”

“ _Rubbed off_ , that’s your answer?” Lucy snarked back, letting Maggie bump her shoulder disapprovingly (even though she kept smiling at her girlfriends’ antics).

“Hush – she’s probably already listening to us.”

“Well, someone should probably teach her not to eavesdrop,” Lucy remarked, gently pressing Maggie against the side of the elevator as they climbed. Letting her free hand slip into Maggie’s back pocket, Lucy pressed an open-mouthed kiss to her neck.

“Lane…” But she still arched her neck, giving the other women space to do her work.

“Mmmmm,” she nipped at the place where her neck met her shoulder.

Both their phones went off. Groaning, Lucy pulled away and dug out her device. Maggie took a second to breath, head still resting against the elevator wall.

Snorting, Lucy read the ‘Sisters’ text chain out loud. “ _I CAN hear you and neither of you have any self-control.”_

“Have you _seen_ her?” Maggie asked into the still moving elevator.

 _“Gross - that’s my sister you’re talking about_ ,” Lucy read aloud, a fond smile pulling at her, despite herself. Maggie smiled back, tucking some hair behind her ear, just as the doors opened.

They let themselves into the now familiar apartment, noting that Kara was in her fluffy socks which let her slide around the wood floors. A good mood then.

“How ya doing, Little Danvers?” Maggie asked, placing her wallet and keys in their designated spot.

“Good!” Kara responded, hopping to her feet and sliding directly into Lucy for a hug. “You’ll never guess what Lena did!”

“Confessed her undying love?”

“What?”

“What?” Lucy asked, the picture of innocence. Kara paused, narrowed her eyes, and shrugged. She gave Maggie her equally enthusiastic hug before continuing.

“She bought Catco!”

Maggie and Lucy shared a wide-eyed look.

“I’ve never bought you anything more expensive than dinner,” Lucy snarked, grinning at her girlfriend.

“Better step up your game then,” Maggie flirted back, going to the fridge for drinks.

“How do I compete with a _billionaire?_ ”

“Oh, I think you’ll come up with something, Lane,” She winked, handing over Lucy’s beer.

“You guys are so _weird_ ,” Kara muttered, adjusting her glasses and taking the spare seat at the island.

“So, Little Luthor bought you a company,” Maggie asked, taking a sip and leaning on the counter across from Kara.

“Not _me!_ I mean, Morgan Edge, you know the big rich jerk who was threatening to buy Catco? Well, I asked Lena to help, because I couldn’t just _let_ Edge kill the free press!”

“So, you _asked_ Luthor to buy you a company?” Lucy asked, taking the remaining seat next to Kara.

“No! I just asked her to like… I don’t know. Talk to him? I didn’t think she would _buy Catco!”_

“So… Little Luthor is your _boss_ now?”

“Yeah! I guess. But when she was telling me about it, Edge like, broke into her office. He was _such_ a jerk. He compared Lena to _Lex!_ And so I- uh…“ She cut herself off, suddenly realizing her audience with wide eyes.

Lucy set down her drink. “What did you do Kara?” Not that there was much more damage to be done. Everyone knew that Lena knew that Kara was Supergirl… except Kara.

“Well… I just couldn’t let him talk to her like that!” Also, side note, everyone knew how hard Lena and Kara were crushing on each other… except Kara. “So, I… Well, I had Supergirl kinda leave him on a shipping container.”

“A shipping container?”

“A shipping container, on a boat, in the middle of National City Harbor?” Lucy’s headache was back.

“Are you serious?” Maggie’s eyes were wide and amused, lips curling deviously.

Kara mumbled something under her breath, picking at the countertop. “What was that?”

“And I kind of… threatened him?”

Lucy’s head hit the counter.


	18. And Collide Again

“Ah, Lucy! J’onn!” Winn’s shout traveled to her in the conference room she’d overtaken for the remainder of yesterday paperwork. Swiftly following the anxiety, she found Winn frantically tapping at something on screen.

“What?” She demanded, coming to a stop in front of the main monitor, which had a very angry flashing light overlaid on a map of the city.

“Agent Schott, what’s going on?” J’onn stopped at her shoulder, arms folded.

“Okay, so you remember the White Martian attack last year? When we first joined the DEO,” he gestured between himself and Lucy. J’onn nodded. “Well, after the fiasco with M'gann giving you blood, me and Alex kind of sequenced her DNA and put out a trace? Just in case another hunter came for you!”

“Okay,” Lucy asked, eyes now more vigorously fixed on the blinking dot.

“Well… It kind of went off? And M'gann is still off helping the rebellion so…”

“So, there’s another White Martian on Earth,” J’onn finished off, posture tightening. “Send me the coordinates I’ll-“

“Whoa,” Lucy was fully aware that J’onn was an alien capable of literally phasing through her if he so chose. But she still put her body in front of his, hands up. “Don’t you think, literally _anyone_ but the last Green Martian should go looking into this?”

“This is my problem, Major,” oooh, pulling out her old title. He was _not_ happy.

“J’onn, please just let me get Supergirl on route before you go, okay? Just take backup, that’s all I ask.”

His jaw worked for a moment, locking eyes with his technical equal.

“Ah, guys!” Winn’s voice rose, and he was suddenly typing frantically. “Remember the facial recognition you had me run for the girl from the waterfront!?” _Shit._

“Yeah?”

Winn pulled up street camera footage, and… _shit_ wasn’t a big enough word. The entire block was being destroyed. Cars had been tossed to the side; civilians were still scattering from the scene. There were already huge craters and gouges in the ground, and before Lucy could try and figure out how – she saw it happen live.

The teenager from before had literally just managed to take off upwards, clearly able to fly. She launched with surprising speed, but not enough. The giant, absolutely terrifying, White Martian managed to get a hand to her foot and yanked her back into the ground. The street caved under her body from the force, imprinted with the shape of her back.

By the time Lucy turned around, J’onn was already gone.

She grabbed a passing tech by his shirt’s shoulder, “get Supergirl on the line, _now!”_

* * *

Lucy didn’t need to worry – Kara heard the screams long before her phone rang. She changed and landed in the middle of the wreckage only to see the teenager roll away - Just in time too, because the White Martians fist sank into the concrete where her head had been.

“Hey!” Supergirl shouted, relieved when it drew the monster’s attention away from the kid. Hands on her hips, she went with a classic. “Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?”

It just roared in response and charged. She’d honestly forgotten how _big_ White Martians were in their natural form. It caught her around the waist, and together they collided with a bus stop, the glass raining down around them. Rearing back, it raised a clawed hand, ready to crush her skull into the concrete. And probably would have made a genuine effort to do so, if it weren’t for the small blur that smashed into its side with enough force to send them both careening into a nearby abandoned car.

This kid didn’t know when to quit.

Rolling away from the attack, the Martian wrapped it’s too long fingers around her chest – lifting her out of the demolished car and throwing her with enough force to crash right through a nearby building.

Then J’onn landed – full Green Martian skin – furious.

While Kara extracted herself from the remains of the bus bench, the two mortal enemies started battle. The size difference did now slow J’onn down.

She was ready to give a hand, but her superhearing picked up a groan from within the caved in shop. Darting into the building, she picked her way through the wreckage to the girl coughing up brick dust.

“Hey,” she knelt down, helping remove the debris that still littered the smaller alien. “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” she said, still coughing up dust, slowly getting to her elbows.

“Okay, then what were you thinking?” She reached over, helping the girl stand. “You should _not_ be fighting giant aliens!”

“He started it!” She snapped back – gesturing in the direction of the fight still going on in the street.

Kara’s brow furrowed, glancing at the girls slightly bruised look. “He attacked you?”

“Yeah,” she dusted off her jeans, warily eyeing the growing destruction. “You think I just go around picking fights with _White Martians_?!”

Supergirl threw her hands up – “Well, I don’t know!” Then there was a crash from outside, and x-ray vision revealed J’onn had taken a hit into another building. “Stay back.”

“No arguments here!”

Heat vision drew its attention back to her – and again with the tackling. She was getting really sick of the size advantage – this guy had one trick. They traded blows, J’onn eventually regaining his feet. But the thing she’d learned about White Martians from their last go around is that they didn’t seem phased by injury.

Absorbing a fist to her face, Kara caught herself on a streetlight poll, shaking out the shock. It was only because she was facing down the street that she saw the man. Every single civilian had fled by this point – yet this man stood on the balcony of one of the shops. Kara’s memory triggered from the DEO yesterday – the man that Maggie had pointed out, with the black tattoos.

“Odon yier!” He shouted and fired a freaken _bow and arrow_.

The White Martian screamed as it embedded in the back of his spine. Turning with roar, the alien seemed to finally realize he was outnumbered and surrounded. It launched itself into the air, leaving the two Superhero’s to regain their bearings for a moment.

“J’onn,” Kara stumbled over to the still recovering Director. His skin was split over his eyes, and one hand was openly bleeding. But he otherwise just looked a little dazed and exhausted. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine Supergirl,” he stood, phasing back into his human skin. “What happened?”

“Oh, there’s this guy,” but by the time Kara turned around, the man from before, with the bow, had vanished. And when she spun on her heel again, so had the teenager. They didn't turn in time to see her phase right through the back of the building. 

“Something else is going on here.” And Kara was inclined to agree.

* * *

That night found Lucy and Maggie in bed a few hours earlier than normal. Lucy’s headache had yet to fade and was steadily increasing into migraine status. Her stomach turned at the thought of dinner.

Maggie, ever thoughtful, had already turned off all the lights and pulled the blinds by the time Lucy shoved their door open. All that lit the room were a handful of electric candles, the softer warm light doing less harm to her head.

“How you feeling, Lane?” Maggie asked, voice soft as she approached from the kitchen. She’d been brewing tea – and knowing her, probably that special headache stuff that Lucy swore didn’t work but drank anyway.

“Sore,” her girlfriends face twisted sympathetically, stepping into her space to place a gentle kiss to her forehead. After the brief moment where Maggie evaluated her girlfriend, she tapped her butt, pushing her towards the bedroom. A candle lit shower later, Lucy had slipped into bed with her mug, carefully blowing on the steaming liquid.

Maggie remained on top of the covers, typing something into her phone (which she had changed to its _night_ setting – reducing the white glare considerably).

“Kara wants to know how you’re feeling,” Maggie murmured, sipping from her own cup.

“Like there is a vigilante teenager on the loose causing massive property damage,” she muttered back, closing her eyes as the tea soothed her throat.

“I thought she was attacked?” Maggie asked, still typing.

“Yeah, that’s what Kara reported,” sighing, she sank deeper against the extra pillows from the closet. “But why would a White Martian come down to earth, and immediately attack some random alien?”

“Maybe it’s not random.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Maggie turned a little, sitting with her legs crossed, tossing the phone down the bed. “Maybe everything is connected – Her saving Kara at the pier, this group of aliens showing up to help her, a specific White Martian attack. Seems like a lot to happen over two days.” She kept her voice low and used her tea warmed fingers to tuck some still damp hair behind Lucy’s ear.

Lucy was inclined to agree, but even the thought that there was some mystery she had to solve made her head throb. Rubbing at an eye, she placed her mug on the bedside, snuggling down into the sheets. Resting her cheek on Maggie’s thigh, the gentle stroke of her girlfriends’ fingers through her hair made her eyes flutter shut.

“Well, if it is, it’s J’onn’s problem. I’m back in the dessert base for the next few days,” thank god. Looking after Kara was a full-time job – she had no idea how Alex managed it on top of her three separate positions at the DEO.

Maggie gave a soft laugh, settling against the headboard, unwilling to remove her fingers until the other women was asleep. “Sounds like a vacation Lane.”


	19. Welcoming Committee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Cannon typical violence.

Kara was _bored_. Which, she knows, is not actually a _bad_ thing. She’d just finished giving Lena the CatCo tour and helped her settle in and was now supposed to be ‘out on assignment’. Which was just code for Supergirling. But there was nothing to _save_ and so she was left to swing her legs and fiddle with her cape back at the DEO.

Oh, and annoy Winn.

“Come on!” She spun her spinny chair around one full rotation, stopping herself so she was facing her friend once more. “7/11 hold up? A house fire in the ‘burbs? Cat up a tree? _Snake_ up a tree?!”

“I’m telling you!” Winn finally threw up his hands, scooting his chair back from his overenthusiastic, superpowered friend. “It’s quiet! Even Maggie’s just patrolling today – I can’t help you!”

“Urgh!” She pushed her chair away, so she rolled away from the techy and his useless scanners. “I just feel amped up with nowhere to go.”

“Amped up?” Winn asked, turning in his chair to face the superhero.

“I don’t know,” she did another spin. “Like… like something is _going_ to happen. And I just have to wait on my hands until it does.”

Something started to beep on the computer. She perked up.

“Looks like you’re about to get your wish,” Winn said, then raised his voice, shouting towards the conference rooms. “J’onn!”

J’onn was suddenly in the room, both supers on their feet looking at the overhead screens. “What is it Agent Schott?”

“Ah… If you thought yesterday is bad, check this out,” he made a flicking motion and the screens were suddenly filled with the same map from yesterday. But instead of one blinking red dot, there were four. All converging on one location.

The aliens nodded to each other before taking off – Winn already moving to let NCPD know to clear the approximate radius of the attack. 

* * *

Ky was honestly starting to consider that maybe she was cursed. The universe was filled with the inexplicable – so a curse was not out of the realm of possibility.

Cursed, because she’d spent almost a third of her life fighting to get back to earth – get back to the nice safe planet filled with nice safe humans. And now, in the first _week_ of being stateside, she was being attacked for the _second time_.

She wanted a refund.

The heat of Drew’s fire made her flinch, even as she ducked behind the ledge of rock that Craig had created for them. Fortunately, it was a Sunday morning, so the streets were relatively empty. Unfortunately, that made it that also meant that half of the crew (including Gertrude) were still off trying to track the 90 sent down a year ago.

“Ky!” Drew was shouting over the roar of their own flames. “You have to move!”

 _Move where?_ Because right now the options were limited. She could go up, which would mean leaving behind the people literally assigned to protect her. Or forward, away from the fire fight, but towards the center of town, thus endangering civilians.

But Drew could only hold them off like this for so long – White Martians _used_ heat against the Greens. They would not last, even with Lincoln running interference from the surrounding buildings.

Fortunately, National City came with backup.

The sound of Supergirl and J’onn J’onzz landing on the other side of their makeshift barrier had Ky almost sighing in relief. But peaking around the chunk of stone turned out to be a mistake. Even from her narrow vantage point she could see that things were going poorly. Lincoln was pinned down; Drew was already running out of fuel; Craig was limited in this terrain.

Supergirl and J’onn were dealing with one each, leaving two closing in on their position. Drew slumped very briefly, steady stream of flames withering. The sound of the other fights was chaotic, thudding fists, crunching metal, smashing glass, the occasional high pitch screech… Cursed – Ky’d put money on it.

“Ky,” Craig shouted, moving to reinforce their rocky hideaway. “When I say run, go!”

 _Where?_ Honestly – Craig was cool and all, but no master mind. And also, did he actually think she’d abandon everyone?

“Run!” Okay, guess she was moving, because suddenly the rock face she was leaning on was being shoved away – colliding with the approaching Martians and exploding in a hail of stone.

She dived towards a nearby car wreck, using the coverage to try and outflank the Martian approaching Drew in their weakened state. A good plan, if, suddenly, the car she was ducked behind was lifted directly into the air by a huge, white claw, revealing the Martian that Lincoln had been dealing with.

No time to worry for her friend, Ky scrambled back, just managing to flatten herself enough that when the car was tossed her head wasn’t taken with it.

The Martian grinned, horrible teethy red maw gaping. Fuck, Whites were terrifying. She had no idea how her mother was such good friends with one of these.

Knowing that running was futile (yesterday proved her takeoff was too slow), she went for dodging. Clambering to her feet, she managed to dive roll out under a veiny arm, twisting just in time to duck under another punch. This didn’t seem to be doing her any favors though, her attacker just growing more furious. For a moment, a vivid image of her being a fly they were trying to swat came to mind.

Crouching, she launched herself directly at the creature, shoulder connecting squarely with their chest. It succeeded in vaulting them into the recently thrown car, but turning in her hovering position, Ky realized that everything was going to hell, fast. Even if Supergirl and J’onn were faring well against their opponents, Drew was boarding on a solar flare, Craig was flat on his back, and Lincoln was nowhere to be seen.

As if to prove her point, Drew’s heat vision puttered out, and they slumped hard against what used to be a tree and was now just a smoldering stump. The Martian advanced. Ky dived right after them. Landing hard on their shoulders, she reached around and dug her fingers into the soft flesh under their chin (just how her mom taught her).

It screamed, bucking to throw her off. And when that failed, it reached around and grabbed her by the thigh, claws digging into her skin. Biting back a scream of her own, Ky was yanked off the creatures back and thrown into the ground. She felt the concrete give under her, dragging up a 10-yard grog of cement as she slid. _Fuck_.

The Martian turned and seemed to pause for a moment, watching as she struggled to sit back on her hands. Finally deciding a course of action, it phased, revealing a very human looking man in his mid-30s. He grinned, that special kind of vicious.

“ _You_ are who they sent us to kill?” It asked, stalking closer. Only now did Ky notice that the Martian she’d shoved engine deep into a car had recovered and was surrounding her. The sounds of fighting kept going, and she distantly heard Drew yelp in pain. “You are a _child_.”

The Martian still in its true form reached her, planting its massive foot on her chest, its claws wrapping around her chest to firmly press her into the ground. She felt her chest constrict from the pressure but maintained her glare at the human looking man. She knew a leader when she saw one.

“How can you _be_?” He asked, crouching in front of her, eyes narrow. “Where did they hide you?”

“Fuck you,” was all she spat, breathing too difficult to be any wittier.

“Ky!” Drew shouted, but it sounded strangled.

“Hey! Leave her alone!” Supergirl’s voice, immediately followed by a grunt and a crash.

“Ah ah ah!” The human looking one tutted, a smug look settling comfortably on his face. “One more move, and my friend here crushes her chest.” Which he was already doing, but who was she to argue?

“What do you want with her?” That was J’onns voice.

“Oh, you mean you can’t tell?” Ky arched her neck just enough that she could see Drew, on their knees, bleeding heavily from a wound, and Maggie Sawyer standing over them, gun drawn. She was forced to drop her head back to breath. “I thought all you Green’s loved that communal telepathy - No secrets kept!”

Silence, except the sound of her blood rushing in her ears. It felt like her chest was groaning with the effort not to cave under the Martian. She could only breath in short gasps.

The Martian cackled – standing from his crouched position. Turning to gloat to the circle of superhero’s trying to save her. “But this is perfect, is it not? The last Son of Mars can watch its last daughter be ground into dust like the vermin she is.” His voice pitched into a snarl, turning back to look down on Ky. “And your mother is nowhere to be seen.”

“Don’t talk,” Ky forced out of her throat, digging around at her thigh carefully. She coughed exactly once and felt the edge of her last birthday gift finally grip between her fingers. “About my mother.”

“Oh, I know plenty, Green. She was the only thing standing between you and certain death for years. And now, she’s left you. All. Alone.” Ky inhaled, once, sharp.

“I’m never alone,” and she stabbed the Martian holding her down.

* * *

Winn did it a year ago, almost to the day. So long ago, that he had all but forgotten.

It was a late-night decision. He’d been lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling of his apartment, mind whirling – Supergirl pajama pants and DEO t-shirt doing nothing to make him feel safer. It felt like the ground beneath his feet was quicksand and the more he struggled the faster he sank. It made panic well in his chest with every breath.

So, without any ground beneath his feet, he decided to write himself some hope.

Which is what found him dragging himself out of bed at 1am, digging his DEO issue laptop out from the safe and coding for two hours straight. Then, he promptly crashed and overslept. Alex’s disappearance had been recent enough that J’onn hadn’t even mentioned his lateness the next day. He’d patted his shoulder and told him to try to remember to set an alarm.

But that code had created a program which would run on the background of his DEO tablet for the next 355 days. It was just an icon that he added to the taskbar – he’d even designed it to look like a tiny handgun. It had sat there, not doing much except giving Winn the smallest ounce of hope. And for 355 days, it remained, dormant, a faded grey color. But, on day 356 it lit up green – forcing his computer to launch its asset tracking program.

He’d been so focused on the fight – so focused on making sure that everyone was on route, that positions were being taken, that Kara and J’onn and Maggie and the teenager who had crashed into their lives were okay – that he almost missed it. But when his entire computer was taken over with a map of National City, the symbol suddenly flashing bright and urgent at the far North of the screen.

Words and thoughts bottlenecked in his throat. His jaw dropped, eyes widened, his knees even buckled briefly, forcing him to catch himself on the central console.

He suddenly just had to trust that the Superfriends on the ground were okay, because he was ignoring everything but the comms in his right ear. He fumbled so hard with his cell phone, that it cracked on the plastic paneling around the central computer. He could not care less, because Luce Lane was answering.

“Winn?”

“Lucy-“ but he didn’t even know how to articulate it – his mind seemed to have crashed, eyes still locked on the green symbol moving at startling speed.

“If this is about the attack going on in the city, I already know, and I’m scattering a team.”

“No – Lucy you have to come to the city base,” he managed to push out.

“What? Why?” He could practically feel her frustration growing, but his chest was already too tight to engage. “I’m perfectly capable of running an op from the dessert Winn, and Vasquez is just as a good a central tech commander as you.”

“No Lucy, you _have_ to come back to base – It’s Alex,” the words were tumbling out, but now came to a stop – his eyes fixed on the symbol coming to an abrupt halt, right above the conflict happening in the streets. “Her subdermal tracker just came online.”

* * *

Maggie’s car swung around the bend too fast, and she had to jerk the car back hard to keep from causing property damage. She’d been so happy, enjoying a peaceful morning, knowing her girl was safe in the dessert and that there was nothing dragging her sister into conflict. The perfect shift. Then her phone rang, and dispatch came over the radio. Sometimes, she missed Gotham – at least it was constant violence, rather than this false sense of security sunny National City inspired.

She’d been the closest cop available, plus Supergirl was involved. So, she was ordered onto the scene while another Detective was asked to deal with the parameter and evacuation. Which is what found her careening through downtown. She didn’t even need to follow navigation – she could hear the battle over the sound of her engine.

She slammed to a stop half a block away, watching as an infernian’s heat vision faded and they collapsed. She’d only just had time to step out of her car when the advancing, monstrous creature screamed, another smaller form having slammed into their back and was now trying to rip out their throat. Maggie was sprinting, but she was still too far for accuracy when the Martian threw its assailant away.

The Detective finally skidded to a stop. Taking in the unconscious man on the ground, she dragged him just behind a nearby bench. The Infernian yelped as they tried to stand, so Maggie made her way over to give some cover. It was only then that she realized she’d met this particular alien two days before and that meant-

Wide eyes locked on the girl still in the crevasse of concrete her body created, a White Martian in human form approaching. All the fighting seemed to come to a pause, focused on the teenager whose life was literally in the hands of the enemy.

Maggie leveled her gun but knew better then to fire. Supergirl looked to be still fatiguing around the edges, and J’onn was holding his side, two Martians standing between them and the unfolding scene. Another was recovering and approaching the scene. They were out gunned.

“You are a _child_.” The Martian still in its true form reached the teenager, pinning her to the ground with its massive foot. Maggie felt rage boil in her blood at the treatment, fingers inching around the trigger.

“How can you _be_?” The human looking one asked, crouching in front of her. “Where did they hide you?”

“Fuck you,” but Maggie could hear how hard speaking was. The words wheezed out of her, forced past the pressure on her chest.

“Ky!” the alien just behind her shouted, trying to stumble to their feet. 

Kara also took a step forward, fists clenched, body taught. “Hey! Leave her alone!”

“Ah ah ah! One more move, and my friend here crushes her chest.” Maggie took another half step forward, weighing the likelihood that her service weapon would do any damage.

“What do you want with her?” J’onns asked, straightening as best he could.

“Oh, you mean you can’t tell?” Maggie’s eyes zeroed in on the teenager, Ky she assumed, as she tried to look towards her and the alien she stood over. She couldn’t hold the position long, face twisting in pain, and the Detective felt her teeth grind. “I thought all you Green’s loved that communal telepathy - No secrets kept!”

Silence, except the sound of Ky’s gasping breaths. Maggie allowed herself one glance at the supers. Kara’s eyes were wide as saucers. J’onn’s looked between the taunting ass and the girl held beneath another’s foot, rage and fear alighting in his eyes. 

The Martian stood from his crouched position, laughing in their face. “But this is perfect, is it not? The last Son of Mars can watch its last daughter be ground into dust like the vermin she is.” _Fuck, fuck, fuck_. “And your mother is nowhere to be seen.”

“Don’t talk about my mother,” Ky ground out. She coughed sharply, but Maggie had sharp eyes – she could see her right hand moving a little too inconspicuously.

“Oh, I know plenty, Green. She was the only thing standing between you and certain death for years. And now, she’s left you. All. Alone.”

Four years from now, on Ky’s 18th birthday, Maggie will tell this story again. And she will explain that she should have known who she belonged to – only a Danvers would do something so fucking brave _and_ stupid. In equal measures.

“I’m never alone,” she hissed back defiantly, and, without taking her eyes off the man taunting her, she flicked open a switch blade and speared the White Martian holding her down.

The reaction was immediate. It screamed, rearing back and allowing Ky the room to roll away. Maggie fired six rounds directly into the back of the still human looking one. Supergirl and J’onn crouched to tackle, and then the sky closed up.

Or, that’s what it looked like.

One second it’s a beautiful, cloudless National City day, the next the whole block is shrouded in shadows. It was like a cloud materialized above. And from that cloud, a burst of light projected into the chaos. Directly onto the alien who was still recovering from the open wound in the vulnerable part of their thigh.

And from that beam, an avenging angel came.

One second the Martian was looking up in surprise, the next a figure was landing on him, a golden-brown sword embedding itself in its spine. It never even got the chance to scream, slumping to the ground, dead. The figure landed in a roll next to it.

They looked human enough shaped - the black body armor and shrouded helmet made anything identifiable impossible. But they were crouching between Ky and the remaining Martians, so Maggie was inclined to believe they were with the good guys.

Not to mention the guy facing off with Supergirl took one look at them and flew away – Forcing Kara to shout _“I got it_ ,” and take off in pursuit.

“You!” the human one screamed – starting to transform back into its less appealing form. But the figure just tilted their head, reaching for something at the back of their tac belt.

Suddenly springing into a full sprint, the figure launched themselves at the mid-transformation Martian. Maggie’s eyes widened when she realized that she literally just had a knife, maybe four inches long and that same golden brown as the sword currently occupied by the fallen.

Maggie suddenly realized she was _much_ to human to be here. Ky was, apparently, a Green Martian. J’onn was once again grappling with their assailant, and whoever this new figure was, they certainty didn’t seem human. Holstering her weapon, Maggie just reached down and grabbed Drew, shouldering their weight, dragging them towards the other fallen man. They needed to get out of here.

Which was a good thought, because suddenly the new figure was being bodily thrown into a nearby building, the glass window shattering around her body.

 _“Mom!”_ Ky’s scream sent ice down her spine, and she turned just in time for the entire sky to light up again. This time, a beam landed directly on top of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wouldn't be a Supergirl finale without a little alien public property damage that no one ever talks about paying for or cleaning up.


	20. First Day on Earth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kinda a filler, but it was a necessary one. Tomorrow morning NZ time (16-ish hours from now) I'm gonna post both parts of "Homecoming". I would not be so cruel as to leave you with half at a time. 
> 
> Warning: Canon typical violence.

Old habits die hard, Alex supposed. And she’d been doing so well. Almost two straight years of leadership in which she made calm, rational decisions based on strategy and mental forethought.

And then she got the report of Ky being attacked.

So, like times of old, Alex blew a gasket.

Fortunately, two years of her leadership also meant that her crew knew what they were doing; Scho’ty was a _very_ good pilot; El and Dryl were _very_ good techy’s; and their mechanics _were out of this world_.

So, blowing a gasket was cushioned by the team around her, many of whom were equally ready to knock some heads when one of their youngest, and most loved, was in danger.

They weren’t _necessarily_ on board when she demanded to be beamed down, alone. But she _was_ the commanding officer. And she was the best trained with their Slaver’s Moon weapons. And it was _her daughter_ down there with _her family_. So, the protest was mostly just hesitation and side eyes. Then they did as she ordered.

They rocketed through the atmosphere faster than recommended, locking on Drew’s particular heat signature. Alex left the bridge in Scho’ty’s capable hands, while Le’ra helped her suit up. She hated the full body tac suit Dryl built for her, but White Martians were not something to take lightly. And she _was_ only human.

 _Lucy would be proud_ , she thought as she jammed the helmet over her head.

 _“Captain, we’re gonna beam you directly into the action,”_ came over the comms. Le’ra took a couple hasty steps back from the teleportation module. _“Be ready.”_

Alex shifted the grip on her sword, bracing. She hated the beaming system they’d gotten from the Daxamites. It felt like pins and needles over every inch of your body – your entire person was dematerialized and then rematerialized. Not pleasant.

But, for once, Alex didn’t care. It was the fastest way down to her kid.

The engines whined as they were forced to suddenly slow – Alex closed the visor on her helmet – just in time too because, suddenly, she was gone.

She should have known better, but when Scho’ty said _directly into the action_ she hadn’t realized he meant materializing ten feet from the ground and on top of a Martian. But, you know, gotta be specific if you want specifics. 

She felt the blade sink directly through its spinal cord – a sure fire way of killing White Martians. Can’t phase if your brain is disconnected from its body.

The force of her momentum sent them both down though, and Alex was forced to release the hilt. She rolled once, feeling that the concrete was practically rubble beneath her feet, before looking up.

Sitrep: Ky was behind her. She’d been able to catch a glimpse of her kid, still on her back but able enough to be resting on her hands. There was at least one other scuffle going off to the right – based on the colors she assumed it was J’onn. In front of her was a furious, transforming White Martian. And behind that was the love of her life (or, one of them), protecting her downed Second. So, a lot to process.

But that could come later, she had a plan, and it needed to start _now._ Reaching behind her, she unsheathed her knife – thick, long, ridged and made entirely out of minerals mined from Slavers Moon. So, lethal to all Martians.

“ _Almost there,”_ came over the comms. But she was already moving with speed honed over four years of fighting aliens bigger, stronger and smarter than herself.

She sank her knife as deep as possible into the softer skin by its throat. Martians were huge, and tough. Their pelt was generally very hard to penetrate, and they could withstand a lot of force. But there were a handful of weak spots to exploit – as proven by the horrific scream the creature let out when she twisted the blade.

It bucked, instinct winning over the desire to attack her. Using one of its claws it ripped her arm away – the only reason her arm _survived_ the move was because it was her bionic one – and the other to swatted her. The force of the blow sent her ten yards, directly into a shop window. She landed, hard, on some shelving, which caved under her momentum.

She definitely cracked a rib.

“ _Ready!”_

“Do it!”

_“But Cap-“_

“Direct order!” She yelled back, struggling to her feet just as the Martian J’onn had been focused on turned its eyes to her. They all clearly recognized her, and the particular crimes she’d committed against their people. Good.

She watched as the beams of light – which have had the time to hone in on the non-White Martian’s on the ground – slammed into the conflict. Alex loved alien tech – one minute her kid and family were in deadly danger, the next all those unobscured by infrastructure were beamed up to safety. The one who she’d stabbed took off in pursuit of the Greens. 

“Okay,” Alex coughed, standing and kicking away the rubble her body had created. “Now it’s just you and me.”

She could practically feel how smug they were, the way they rolled their shoulders and gave a shaking-your-bones roar. But Alex wasn’t dumb. She was a bioengineer who spent years studying Martian biology.

When the creature leapt, she didn’t even try and duck. She let its momentum crash into her (definitely bruising a few more vital organs), and with that closeness, jabbed the syringe she’d palmed into the side of its shoulder.

Alex shrugged off its weight as it screamed – blood becoming toxic in its veins. They were dead by the time she was out of the shop front. Glass crunching under her boots, she took off her helmet to observe the damage.

So, two dead. One pursuing the ship, but she trusted both her pilot and the ships anti-phasing tech to keep the crew safe. The other must have taken off before she landed. Okay. She could deal with that.

 _“Alex,”_ snapping her head around, Alex took off at a light jog along the row of destroyed shop fronts. The raspy voice of her newest crew member wasn’t far, and eventually she discovered him struggling under the weight of half a brick wall.

“Linc, shit.” Using the mechanics in her bad arm, she helped the huge man leverage off the debris. She was suddenly very glad that Trigedakru were a little more resilient then most. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” he wheezed, already struggling to his feet. He was absolutely covered in dust, even the black tattoos that covered his arms were grey.

“You are not okay, but I can’t treat you here,” Alex helped him out of the shop, making sure he was steady on his feet, leaning against some undamaged wall, before letting go of his arm. She stepped more clearly into the street, noticing that there was no DEO or NCPD in sight – which made sense. If they thought the supers were taking care of it, they would have established a parameter first and foremost. But they would be here soon.

“We have to move,” she looked down the street, noting a once achingly familiar street corner. “You think you can run?”

“How far?” He was pressing a hand against his ribs – Alex could see that the black material was sticking to him.

“800 yards, give or take.”

“Yes.”

Alex knew that he was giving an accurate assessment of his capacity. His people were like that – and Lincoln would never lie to her.

“Okay, follow me.”

As they started to jog, Alex allowed herself exactly one moment to enjoy that fact that she was standing on the planet Earth. She was finally home.

* * *

Maggie suddenly wished she had a second cup of coffee that morning, because the one Lucy made her was _not_ strong enough for this.

It felt like her entire body was covered in pins and needles – unpleasant was an understatement. Blinking, once, twice and then a third time, Maggie twisted her head around as much as she could with Drew’s weight on her.

They were in a shiny grey steel room – and by ‘they’, she meant everyone. J’onn was leaning hard against the far wall, arm pressed against his side. Ky was still on the ground, supporting her weight on her hands. The unconscious dude was even there, lying flat on his back. All that was missing was the mysterious sword wielding person and the White Martians.

That’s when Maggie noticed that they weren’t alone. An alien stood off to the side with wide purple eyes, clutching a tablet to his chest. Then he noticed the unconscious figure.

“Craig!” On his knees, he tapped something at his ear. “We need medics in the transpo room! Now!”

 _“Already on their way,”_ a strained voice replied over some kind of speaker system. 

That’s when the figure Maggie was supporting made a noise, groaning as they tried to get their own feet under them. “Whoa, hey, how ‘bout you let me help, hmmmm?” She hobbled them over to the wall, allowing the alien to rest most their weight against it.

“Ra,” Maggie felt compelled to turn at the shaking, furious voice of Ky behind her. The girl was on her feet, barely. One arm was supporting a lot of her weight against the wall, as she struggled to stay upright. Maggie inched around the room, closer to her and J’onn. “Where’s mom?”

‘Ra’ the alien crowding the unconscious alien, didn’t look up. In fact, he seemed to duck his head further.

“Ra!”

“She was obscured by a building – we couldn’t lift her,” he mumbled. Maggie became aware of thundering feet from the only doorway into the room. More people were coming – hopefully the medics based on the state of almost everyone in the room. But Maggie still felt compelled to get closer to her boss.

“So, go _back!”_

“We have direct orders – she told us to evade,” Ra responded, finally looking up.

“I don’t care! We can’t just _leave her there!”_ A borderline translucent, blue, alien entered then, leading two others. “Vik! We have to go back!”

“We cannot,” replied the blue creature, walking directly over to Ky, while the others checked on the unconscious dude and Drew. Drew waved them off, gesturing for them to help Craig. “We are currently evading pursuit by a White Martian.”

“So!?”

Vik blinked up at her, carefully pressing a hand against her chest. “We have three Green Martians on board this ship. Likely the last Green Martians. It would be irresponsible to do anything but protect them.”

Ky slammed the back of her head against the wall she was leaning on, squeezing her eyes shut as she accepted the information.

J’onn, now faded into his human skin, took one hard step forward. His voice contained nothing but disbelief. “Three?” 

Vik turned her head and blinked at the human looking man. “You are a Green Martian, are you not, J’onn J’onzz?” How these people knew anything about them, Maggie didn’t know. Suddenly, she was aware that Drew and the unconscious dude had been evacuated from the room. Hopefully getting medical assistance. These people were efficient.

“Yes, but I am the last.”

“You are mistaken,” Vik removed her hand from Ky’s chest. She was satisfied that, though the child was injured, it was not life threateningly. A few hours of rest would likely be sufficient, in her condition. “Ky is a Green Martian, though her mother likes to pretend this it is a well-kept secret.”

This was the second time J’onn had heard this information, but now it wasn’t the heat of battle. Now he could look at the girl properly. He can feel his mind aching to connect to hers - just like it had in the DEO. 

“And our mission on Mar’s resulted in the rescue of another – a religious leader that the White Martians kept prisoner,” Vik took a step back. “I understand that Maggie Sawyer and yourself both know M'gann M'orzz. She, along with the Green Martian, are in our infirmary. The Captain asked that I escort you there if you were lifted aboard. Is this acceptable?”

J’onn and Maggie shared a look. They didn’t often work together, but they knew each other. They had each other’s backs, neither would let anything happen to the other. And they both shared a connection to M'gann strong enough to get them moving. Meanwhile, Maggie head spun, all the bits and pieces of the puzzle seeming to be spread across the board.

Suddenly, her conversation with Lucy slammed to the front of her brain. _Maybe everything is connected - saving Kara, a group of aliens showing up to help her, White Martian attacks._ Ky knew about the DEO, the familiar alien, the spaceship, the Green Martians… The fact that M'gann was on this ship, when she was supposed to be leading a rebellion on Mars.

“Ky, you should come with me, you have sustained considerable injury to your chest plate, and must be in some pain.”

“I’m fine,” the teenager responded, but even Maggie could see that breathing was a chore. Her eyes were pinched, and when she pushed off the wall to follow, she stumbled.

Maggie was the closest, and automatically closed her hand around the girl’s bicep. “Whoa, you’re okay,” she murmured, steadying her. What surprised Maggie was that she leaned into the contact – the Detective never got the impression the teenager was particularly trusting or friendly. But she wasn’t about to turn her away. Helping balance her weight, she kept a hand hovering near her arm as they followed Vik deeper into the ship.

“Where are we?”

“The Exodus 2.0.”

“And that is…” Maggie asked, giving up the pretense, and wrapping an arm around the swaying teenager’s shoulders.

“A Cimenus based spacecraft.”

Maggie blinked. “I’m on a spaceship?”

“What gave it away?” Ky muttered, but there was no heat behind her words. Plus, the hacking a cough really undermined the sass. Maggie inexplicably found herself rubbing circles on the girl’s upper back as she regained the ability to breath. 

“Yes,” Vik said, still leading them down winding corridors. Every few feet or so there were doors with strange languages written above them. Things like “Bunk A-C,” “Showers” and “Armory 2”. Most had an English translation, one or two even had a Spanish.

Finally, Vik made a sharp turn – leading them into the first corridor that wasn’t made of metal. Instead, an entire bank of walls was made of glass, each room filled with hospital beds. The infirmary. At the end of the half-glassed hall, it opened into a wider room – it honestly looked a lot like an ER. But more… space-shippy.

Just as they were about to enter the room, the whole floor tilted beneath their feet. Maggie felt her shoulder collide with the wall, quickly followed by Ky stumbling into her. She winced at the combined force but made sure to keep them both upright.

 _"Apologies!”_ came over the intercom.

“Are we actively evading attacks right now?” Maggie asked, helping Ky get upright.

“White Martians fly with more agility then a vessel this size can manage. But do not worry. They cannot phase through these walls.”

“How?” J’onn asked, now following them into the room where Drew and Craig were laid out on beds – both passed out.

“We have an impulsive teenage Martian on board, who happens to come from a family of particularly impulsive women. Our techs made sure she could not accidentally phase into the vacuum of space.”

“That happened _once_ ,” Ky muttered, making Maggie stifle a snort.

Vik set white eyes on her. “Once was enough. Now, Detective Sawyer I understand that you will want to see Ms. M'orzz, but can you help me get Ky into a private room. Her physiology simply requires rest to heal. I will lead you to the patient after.”

“Director J’onzz, if you would like to speak to the other Green Martian, he is right through those doors, then on the left. He seems to be having difficulty coming to terms with this new reality, and the Captain asked us to leave him alone as much as possible – but that you specifically be sent in.”

J’onn seemed to freeze, his feet stuck to the clean white floors, eyes wide and fixed on the direction Vik pointed. “J’onn,” Maggie whispered, still keeping Ky upright, thus unable to go to him. “It’s alright - Go, I’ve got M'gann.”

He set his wide, serious eyes on her, before giving a final nod, following the given directions. It actually warmed the Detective’s heart a little that he trusted her with their shared friend.

“Is my Ma okay?” Ky wheezed, leaning heavier on her support every second they walked.

“She is fine. Human lungs rupture in Mar’s atmosphere, so she remained on the ship and treated the injured we saved.” 

“Your mother’s human?” Ky’s eyes went wide, despite her weakened state and she immediately ducked her head. _Everything is connected_

“Through here please.” Here turned out to be a bedroom door. Maggie hadn’t even noticed that they’d left the infirmary. Her shock must have registered, because Vik explained.

“Her mother is the head medic, as well as our Captain. Her quarters must be close to critical patients.”

Her quarters were a relatively small bedroom. It had what looked like two single beds jammed together, with a desk tucked into one side and a set of plastic covered shelves running one wall. The most interesting thing about the space was the wall behind the bed – someone had painstakingly drawn constellations across the entire thing, right up to the roof. It was absolutely stunning.

“Ma’s kind of a nerd,” Ky muttered, weight growing lax.

“Okay you,” Maggie muttered, helping her over to the bed. The teenager promptly pressed her face into the pillows, and within seconds her body relaxed. Though Maggie could still hear that her breathing wasn’t right. “Is she going to be okay?”

“You worry for her,” not a question. “That is good. Yes, she will be fine. Martians are very durable. Follow me please.”

And she was walking. Maggie actually stumbled over the ledge of the bedroom door trying to follow the women, feeling vaguely uncomfortable about leaving the kid behind.

They headed immediately back towards the infirmary, right into a glass room which was sealed off entirely. “She sustained major injuries. The Captain had to work many hours to get her stable – it is unlikely she will regain consciousness for several days. But I understand that humans, or those with human hearts, like to stay with the injured, even if they cannot know you are there.”

Maggie’s eyes were set on the still form of her friend, in her Green Martian form, laying covered by a sheet on the medical bed. She didn’t change her focus, but something about the sentence caught her interest. “A human heart?”

“The Captain has been teaching me about Earth customs, as I have never been. Apparently, many aliens who live there develop ‘human hearts’. I do not believe it is literal. I think she refers to an emotional connection which defies the boundaries between species.” There was a pause, where Maggie just stared into the glass room, locked onto the still figure. “Like how you care about this White Martian, even though you defended a Green today, and you yourself are human. That is the human heart… I believe.”

Maggie looked over at the blue women, with the striking pure white eyes. For a moment, the Detective just watched at her, thinking about this ship and the crew and how the phrase _human heart_ rang another bell in her ear. Finally, she decided that the puzzle could wait another minute. “Can I go in?”

“Yes, just do not touch anything. The intercom will update everyone when we return to National City - Scho’ty is just trying to lose our pursuer first.”

“Thank you.”

“You are welcome,” Vik hesitated for another moment, eyes still set on the human. “I think I understand now.”

“Understand?” Maggie turned back, just as she set her hand on the metal door handle.

“Why we had to come back here.” And before Maggie could ask a follow up to _that_ , she was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SHE BACK BABY


	21. Homecoming Part I

## Winn

_“No Lucy, you have to come back to base – It’s Alex,” the words were tumbling out, but now came to a stop – his eyes fixed on the symbol coming to an abrupt halt, right above the conflict happening in the streets. “Her subdermal tracker just came online.”_

That was fifteen minutes ago. Lucy had immediately told him she was on her way and hung up. The dessert base was an hour from the city, but Winn figured Director Lane on a mission would cut that down significantly.

They didn’t have eyes on the street, and both J’onn and Supergirl had gone radio silent during the fight. It seemed like damage to the comms, so Winn wasn’t too worried about that – he’d sent in DEO reinforcements already. What made Winn’s heart slam against his chest was that, right smack dab in the middle of the action, Alex Danvers’ icon steadily blinked.

She’d seemed to have super-sped into the location of the battle – Winn figured she must be on a bike. A very, _very,_ fast bike. And then she’d stopped. For 218 second, Winn had watched her icon just blink in the street. Then it started to move, this time at a much more normal pace.

Winn watched, wide eyes, whole body tense, as the icon blinked all the way along the street. He tuned into the NCPD chatter, listening for the icon meeting the blockade they’d set up. No officer reported anyone coming out of the restricted zone and the icon just kept moving steadily towards them.

Shock finally seemed to wear off when the icon reached the DEO’s block. It paused. Another light flashed on the command center monitor.

“Agent Schott, someone is trying to access our North-facing entrance with an expired security code,” Agent Lewis reported, looking to Winn for instruction.

“Let them in,” Winn whispered, eyes now locked on the year-old code that once belonged to Agent Danvers.

“Sir?”

“Open the doors!” He snapped, coming around the central console so he could actually see the main elevators. He didn’t even care what protocol or national security breach he was creating. He didn’t care about anything, not in the entire universe, except this dot. J’onn could fire him.

The elevator light flashed on – it was coming up.

Winn’s heart felt like it was beating out of his chest, slamming so hard against his rib cage he could feel it in his throat. His throat that was tight with emotion he couldn’t even begin to describe. Like… panic mixed with fear and hope. Overwhelmed. That’s what he felt. Scared to believe.

The doors dinged.

Winn took two steps forward.

The doors opened, and tears immediately burned in his eyes.

Standing at the elevator doors, one hand gripping a black helmet, the other pressed against her own ribs, was his sister.

His precious tablet shattered against the floor. He didn’t even tell his feet to move – one second he was standing three meters away, the next he was skidding across the tile, colliding bodily with Alex Danvers, in all her grimy, bloody glory.

She stumbled back, just a step, before catching his weight in the hug. And for a long, still moment, they just stood there. Both her arms were over his shoulders. One of his was around her waist, the other reaching up so that his fingers caught in her collar. He just pressed his face to her shoulder and breathed in the smell of leather and dust and _Alex_.

They stood there for whole seconds. The DEO, Lincoln, her injuries, nothing else mattered. It was a world in of itself, where the siblings stood wrapped in a hug so tight it should have hurt.

“ _Winn_ ,” she breathed into his neck, squeezing just a bit tighter for a second before pulling back enough to look at him. Both of her hands slipped around to press palms against his cheeks, her fingertips just touching the hair behind his ears. Her forehead was pinched with the effort of not crying, eyes rimmed red. He knew he wasn’t fairing much better.

“You’re alive,” he half sobbed, fingers digging into the dense leather-like material. “You’re _here_.”

“I told you I would come home,” she choked back, touching their foreheads for a brief moment.

“We thought-“ his breath shuddered out of him, as well as his ability to speak.

“I know,” she whispered, running her thumbs under his eyes. She allowed them another moment, just to breath in the fact that he was here, that he was safe and alive and under her fingers. That she was home. But her ribs were protesting, and Linc was hurt, there were still two White Martians out there and her ship was currently un-Captained, god-knows where, with her daughter still aboard.

“Okay,” she inhaled, clearing her nose, the sound giving away how close to tears she was. She gave him a last smile before stepping back a little.

Only then did Winn notice that there was another person in the elevator. He was pressed against the back wall, leaning heavily on the corner. He’d not made a sound, no one had, during their moment, but it was clear that he was hurt.

“Can you help us up to medical?” Alex asked, already reaching back to sling one of the huge dude’s arms over her shoulder.

“Yeah, sure,” he wiped her face roughly, sniffing and smiling and feeling his chest balloon with emotion. “Okay, come here big guy.”

* * *

## Lucy

She’d counted as she drove. 49. She broke 49 laws on her way to the DEO – assuming speeding was counted as one. If you added _willfully reckless_ speeding, she was approaching 78 incidents. That was how she kept from cracking. She counted and tried to remember the associated penalty.

_Her subdermal tracker just came online._

It had echoed in her head. Over and over.

_Her subdermal tracker just came online._

_Her subdermal tracker just came online._

_Her subdermal tracker just came online._

It made driving hazardous. But there was nothing in heaven or hell that would have kept her from getting in this car.

She’d shaved the normally 30 minutes of straight dessert driving down to 15 – the car had protested at the treatment, but Lucy literally could not care less. She’d jammed on the sirens at city limits – 20 minutes on a good day through this part of the city. She did it in 10.

Oh, 80 laws. She was double parked, and there was a fire hydrant.

The DEO could bill her.

She smashed the ‘up’ button on the elevator, mentally calculating that, unfortunately, running the steps to the 30th floor would not be faster than however long this took. The elevator lit up – it’s coming down.

Her heart felt like it was in her throat. When she looked down, she noticed that her hands were shaking – in fact her whole body was trembling. The elevator door opened.

Some distant military part of her brain noted that the elevator was a mess. The floor was filthy, dust and dirt tracked in by military treaded boots. There was even a blood stain at the back wall. The 30th floor button was grimy – so it was a DEO employee. Her Director mind told her to write someone up for using the front entrance in this state.

The elevators dinged open, with that annoying upbeat ding.

She stepped through the doors, suddenly weary.

She could see Winn’s tablet shattered, face down on the ground. Several Agents were standing around, whispering to each other. When they noticed her, every single one of them got wide-eyed. The entire room was staring at her.

“Ma’am,” McCarthy stepped forward. “You might want to go up to medical.”

 _Go up to_ _Medical._

_Medical_

_Medical_

Lucy contemplated that her brain was broken. Which would be bad – lawyers invested a lot of money and time in their brain. Good thing she was going up to medical.

Suddenly more cautious – more terrified, more panicked – Lucy took to the stairs. It was at the top that her brain really did short circuit.

Because, just as she reached the top stair, _she_ stepped out. Full tac suit, the profile of her head revealing a scarred undercut, red hair slicked away from her face. Grit, grim, blood covered her, but she was still standing tall. Sensing someone’s eyes on her, the figure turned, whiskey eyes meeting hers and widening.

Alex.

_Alex._

_Alex. Alex. Alex._

_“Alex,”_ she whispered, and then bolted up the last of the stairs.

Fortunately, her girlfriend always had good reflexes, because catching a grown ass woman running at full speed is something that would put most guys on their backs. As it was, Alex just stumbled a few steps, arms automatically coming around to support her weight as Lucy’s legs hooked around her waist.

“Hey Lane,” she murmured, eyes still wide. “Miss me?”

“Shut _up_ ,” and then they were kissing. Lucy’s fingers pressed into the back of her head, feeling the soft short hair and scarring there. She was warm under her palms, her lips familiar. She tasted different – more minty then she’d ever remembered. But it was Alex. She turned her head just right, and her fingers found purchase on the small of her back just so, and she breathed a laugh into her mouth, just like she used to.

Lucy didn’t realize she was crying until she pulled back and could see the half trails on Alex’s face. “Are you real?” She whispered; foreheads pressed together, not dropping her hands.

“I think if this weren’t real, my ribs wouldn’t be hurting so much,” she whispered back. And instead of putting down the whole person she was holding up while seriously injured, she leaned forward and captured her lips again.

Eventually, reality seeped into their little bubble. The sound of the medical equipment beeping, the whispers of Hamilton talking to someone, the eyes of the entire DEO on them. Lucy pulled back just an inch, slowly dropping her feet to the ground, but neither of them let go of the other. Lucy just kept running her thumbs over Alex’s cheeks, eyes fixed on the woman she’d finally accepted she would never see again.

“You’re hurt?” She was still whispering. If she raised her voice, she might wake up from this dream.

“Only a little,” and she had the audacity to hold up her hand, thumb and forefinger held mere centimeters apart. Smiling.

Lucy felt her heart just _swell_. It was _Alex,_ in all her stupid, adorable, glory.

“Do you need to get looked at?”

“It can wait another minute,” she sighed, pressing her forehead against Lucy’s again.

“Actually, it really shouldn’t,” Hamilton cut in, even though her voice was undercut with her own happiness at her most annoying patients return.

Sighing, Alex pulled away, looking into the medical center. “I’ve survived worse.”

“And yet, I insist,” the older women responded, gesturing at the medical bed next to Lincoln’s.

Suddenly, Alex’s gaze was on hers again. Her heart really was taking a beating today.

“You okay if I get checked out?”

Lucy nodded, but found that she could take away her hands, currently occupied with the looser fabric of whatever armor Alex was wearing.

“Come on,” Alex reached down and pried her fingers off, linking their hands instead.

In the examination room, Alex hesitated. “Do you want a more private room?” Standard question with an injury like this – still Alex flinched just minutely.

Shaking her head, she used her free hand to unknot the bottom and then dig under the diagonal seam of her armor. She was using her false arm, so it came away easily, the strings binding the edges pulling away.

Once the shirt was loose, she gave Lucy a soft smile, carefully extracting her fingers from the too tight grip so she could shrug off the heavy top.

The material was stiff, by design, so it always took some awkward shrugging to remove. But Lucy was already stepping behind her, lean fingers pulling the jacket from the collar and then each of the sleeves, so the whole thing came away more smoothly. Faster than she wanted.

“Thanks,” she murmured, turning her head. Lucy only responded by placing a kiss at the base of her neck, over her Exodus standard T-shirt.

Alex spared herself one look at her bad arm, relieved to see that while she could feel something was damaged, the cloaking mechanism was operational. It still looked like a normal, human arm. One conversation at a time.

Lucy watched as Alex hesitated with her remaining layer. Which was never something she’d seen in this context. Sure, when they’d started sleeping together, Alex was far from the most comfortable stripping away clothes (hers and others). But in the DEO? At work? She’d seen Alex strip off her shirt in the _field_ , just to get at an injury she could fix herself.

She seemed to take a deep breath, fortifying herself, before reaching behind her neck and dragged the dark grey shirt over her head.

Lucy was suddenly glad she was still standing behind her girlfriend, because even years of Court had not prepared her poker face for this.

The first thing Lucy’s eyes comprehended was that, running from the nape of Alex neck, right down to the small of her back, was some kind of tattoo. Well, obviously a tattoo – a line of planets, various sizes and designs, carefully painted down her spine. The only thing interrupting it was some kind of chest binding in lieu of a bra. What was strange was it was nothing like what she’d seen on army personnel – it didn’t have that distinctive line of tattoo ink. Instead it more closely resembled watercolor, or chalk, the lines more intricate yet blurry, deliberately running together.

It was… beautiful, and Lucy couldn’t resist the urge to touch a finger to it, over a particularly intricate planet which rested approximately where Alex’s heart was located. The women’s entire spine straightened and tensed at the contact, so Lucy dropped her hand like it was burned.

The next thing she noticed was only because it was right at her eye line (the stupid tall women). The entire length of Alex’s right shoulder was scarred – and not with battle wounds. Alex had always been littered with them, had never backed down from explaining her badges of honor. But this was different.

Almost the entire length of her right shoulder, from where her neck curved right through to the point where it tipped into her arm, was covered in lacerations. They were evenly spaced, about three inches long, each stopping at the exact same point on her shoulder blades. It looked like someone had taken a knife and deliberately placed over a dozen parallel lines, painstakingly, carefully. Lucy could even just see the freckles that used to litter the skin instead underneath – it made her eyes prickle.

From her angle, following the trail of scars, Lucy could see that there was something large and elevated on her right shoulder. She couldn’t see what it was from where she stood, just the way the flesh was raised up and still red made her stomach turn just a little.

Taking one, silent breath, Lucy leaned forward again, placing another kiss exactly where she had when Alex was still dressed. Letting her lips linger, she felt Alex relax, just an inch, and smiled.

At least that hadn’t changed.

“Okay,” oh right – they were not alone. “Can you sit?”

Alex nodded, and Lucy stepped to the side, allowing her to step back and lift herself onto the bed. Lucy felt her eyes automatically taking in the lines of muscle down her arms – triceps and biceps popping pleasantly. Alex smirked, just a little, before turning back to the doctor.

“You weren’t kidding about the wall,” Hamilton muttered, already probing at the still growing black and purple bruising blooming around Alex’s left side.

“I think I still won though,” she smiled back, letting her poke and prod, making displeased humming noises.

“You need an x-ray, but we can wait for Super-“ Alex’s eyes doubled in size.

“No! No,” she shook her head a smidge too vigorously. “I would very much _not_ like Supergirl to x-ray me if that is at all possible. Please.”

“Um,” Lucy and the doctor shared a look, before the older women nodded. “Okay? Well, I can go and set up the machine now, if you can wait a minute?”

“Of course, take your time.” Still frowning, the doctor left the room, glancing back exactly once at her old colleague.

“Cap,” the fourth person in the room suddenly interrupted. Lucy didn’t even turn to look at him, terrified that if she took her eyes off Alex she’d vanish in a puff of smoke. “Scot is asking for you.”

“My comm is in my helmet, pass me yours?” She held out a hand, accepting the small mic and slipping it into her ear. “Sitrep?” A long pause. “Good, okay, don’t reengage. Get back here, keep the cloak up. Is Ky- Yes, thank you.” A relaxing of shoulders Lucy hadn’t even noticed were tense. “Is Maggie-“ Lucy ears perked. “Yes, thank you. Let me know when you’re sending her down, yeah? Good, okay.”

Alex tapped her ear, ending whatever conversation she’d been having. Rolling her neck, she gave Lucy a smile. “Eyes are up here Lane,” she joked, and Lucy’s head snapped back up.

While there was definitely some scaring worth talking about on Alex’s torso, what had been occupying her eyes were the _abs_. Which… Alex had always been the most muscular of the three of them but _fuck_ what had she been _doing_ the last year?

Lucy stepped back into her space, suddenly cautious of the clearly hurt women. The colorful bruising was stark against her still pale skin.

“Com’ere,” Alex muttered, reaching out and taking her hand, tugging her until she was standing between the Agent’s legs. Lucy allowed herself to be led, letting her hands clench on the still covered thighs.

“Are you really here?” She murmured, one hand coming up to scratch at the short hair behind Alex’s head. 

The red head gave a soft chuckle, gently taking both her hands and placing a kiss on the knuckles. “I’m not going anywhere Lane.” ~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried when I wrote the Winn reunion - I watched their goodbye from the show for inspiration and it was a BAD idea because my god the tears.


	22. Homecoming Part II

## Maggie

Maggie had sat with M'gann for what felt like an hour. It was hard to judge time, without any windows, and her phone was still in her car… wherever she'd left that. So, she was just left to wait, elbow resting on the bed, the free hand clasped around her friend's. Thinking.

She was always into puzzles as a kid. Mysteries. She read them by the boat load growing up, still kept a collection of her favorites. Used to make her papá proud – he’d tease that she’d grow up to be just like him. Working the streets, unraveling crimes. Which, she guessed, was true.

But it was that same trait that was making it impossible for her mind to settle.

 _Everything is connected_.

It had to be. It just felt like one too many things. Then two too many. Now, like… four too many. Why did Ky save Supergirl? Why is there a ship filled aliens in National City? Why does she recognize one of them? Why is that ship filled with Green Martians, supposedly an extinct species? Why was _M'gann_ here? Around and around the merry go round.

_The key to most mysteries is in the mundane._

The echo of her father’s voice, with all the complexity associated with that, suddenly rang in her ears. What were the ordinary details? What was she missing? What was the most basic detail she didn't have about this ship? These aliens?

Usually, her favorite mystery books are ones with all the pieces, yet the hero can’t figure it out. As a reader, it is fantastic when everything seems connected, so close to the tip of your tongue, but it can’t be solved. As a real person, out in the world, actually aboard a spaceship evading attack by an alien, less fantastic.

In those books, it is always that there is one vital piece of information – one thing the hero can’t know yet. Not until the climax, that last moment where the tension builds. Maggie had the inexplicable thought that this was that moment. The moment before the mystery unraveled itself, and the reader got the satisfaction they waited 64,040 words for.*

_“We have arrived back in National City and will be deboarding our Martian patient momentarily. Please stand by until we have further instructions from the Captain.”_

The Martian in question turned out to be M'gann, because Vik was suddenly back at the door. She didn’t knock, but she hesitated outside for a moment, uncertain. Maggie’d been around enough aliens to know that every planet had its own customs, so she waved her in, just in case.

Vik stepped inside, translucent-ish skin glowing under the harsher white lights.

“We have been instructed to take her to the DEO medical facilities. J’onn J’onzz wishes to remain on board with our other guest until he is ready to disembark. Would you like to stay with him, or join myself and Ms. M'orzz?”

“I told him I’d stay with her.”

“Alright, it will take me a few moments to prepare her for transport – you should go ahead.”

It was jarring –this was the first time the women had given an instruction. Everything else had been an option, a question. This, Maggie understood, was an order.

Nodding, she only paused to place her palm once over M'gann forehead, trying to impress her love for her friend before she left. Meanwhile, Vik watched with fascination; eyes glued to the human who seemed to care so much for a creature that could kill her in an instant. When she was done with whatever ritual she undertook, she stepped away from the bed and gathered her jacket.

“You can find your own way out?” The Detective nodded, going back the way they’d come.

She noted, as she passed through the infirmary, Drew was gone but the other was still laid out, now with various wires screwed into him. Ra was standing at the foot of his bed, knuckles going white on its frame.

“Detective Sawyer, I’ve been tasked with teleporting you down,” he said, not looking up from the bed.

“Is… everything okay?” She eyed the downed man and the alien who transported her into this ship.

“He is my… other? My,” he looked up and to the side. “Other piece? Part? My apologies, I did not spend much time on earth.”

“You’ve been to Earth before?” Another piece.

He hummed in response, finally jerking away from the bed. “I will take you down now. You have much below.” Weird, but this day was basically a fever dream, so she wasn’t about to invite further comment.

He led her through the same hallway as before, back to where they entered. He directed her to stand in approximately the middle of the room.

“Hey,” Maggie called, just as he was about to start typing into whatever it was this machine was. “I’m sorry, about your partner,” she nodded her head back towards the infirmary. “I know how hard it is, seeing someone you love hurt in the line of fire.”

The alien finally looked at her, and actually gave a half smile, one of solidarity. “Oh, I have no doubt you understand this pain Maggie Sawyer.” Then he pushed his buttons and she was covered in pins and needles.

The moment solid ground was beneath her feet again, Maggie found herself shaking out her arms. That was a deeply unpleasant experience. But it seems to be effective, because she was suddenly standing on the balcony of the DEO.

Rubbing her face one last time she walked towards the steps, looking down into central command.

There was a… weird energy in the DEO. Which is saying something, because this place literally hunts aliens and hires people _willing_ to hunt aliens. Every Agent had wide eyes, fixed on her from where they stood. Maybe because of the teleporting thing? And she couldn’t see Winn anywhere, which was odd because he was supposed to be running the op.

She caught the eye of the nearest Agent as they walked down the righthand stairs opposite the infirmary. “Hey have you seen-“

“Maggie,” electricity splintered up her spine. It buzzed at the base of her neck, making all the hairs stand on end. Her breath caught in her chest. Her mind ceased to whirl. The Agent she’d stopped scuttered away.

Breathing out a shuddered breath, Maggie slowly turned.

“Hey you,” Alex Danvers murmured, standing mere feet away, still one step from the bottom of the infirmary stairs.

“Alex?”

She stepped down the last stair, one more step closer to her.

“You know, when I pictured this moment, I always thought you’d say ‘Danvers.’”

That did it – that broke whatever spell was keeping her bound to the spot. Broke the dam of emotion tied up in the very real thought that _Danvers_ was standing in arms reach. Was standing there looking a little worse for the wear, but alive and smiling and too awkward to make the first move. So, Maggie did.

Stepped right into her space, she pressed one hand to the underside of her jaw, pinky and ring finger curling under her chin while her thumb rested on the corner of her mouth. She held the woman’s face there – eyes searching for a flaw. For a mistake. For the _universe to magically smack her down._

Her free hand tangled in the untied portion of her outfit, her thumb stroking from her cheek to her lips.

“Are you real?” Because she’d had this dream. And today was already bizarre. Who fucking knows in the life they lead – maybe she hit her head on her way to work this morning, and this is some elaborate hallucination designed to completely devastate her.

“Why does everyone keep asking that?” She murmured back, eyes crinkling at the corners as she smiled. And just like that, with that smile, half awkward half awed - the look she’d set on her the night they first kiss… something unspooled in Maggie’s chest.

 _“Alex,”_ and she pulled her down into a kiss. And it was like being pulled back in time – Maggie felt both her hands slip behind her neck, pulling the taller women down to her. She felt how she was surprised, how she made the smallest of sounds against her lips. Felt how Alex took a second to move her own hands, and when she did, they tangled in the edges of her jacket.

And just like then, Maggie felt her heart expand – felt her world narrow and converge. Felt herself falling in love all over again.

“So,” Alex didn’t open her eyes immediately when they separated, but when she did, they were bright. “You’re saying you like me?”

Maggie felt herself smile, full dimples and all. Felt herself laugh. Felt herself pressing her hands against Alex’s shirt, between the untied jacket, feeling the heartbeat under her palms.

“You two are such dorks for each other,” Lucy had aimed for quippy, but landed somewhere in the vicinity of affectionate. She’d been entirely unable to let Alex out of her sight, even when they’d been informed Maggie was being sent down. So, she’d gotten the distinct pleasure of watching her girls reunite – filling her with a particular brand of warmth she’d almost forgotten existed.

“You’re one to talk Lane,” Maggie responded, still unable to take her eyes off Alex.

“Oh, 100%. She practically tackled me,” she explained, reveling in how Maggie’s dimples popped with her laughter.

“Pfffft, did not.”

Alex turned her head to look back up at Lucy, now only a few steps above them. “I’m sure Winn has the footage somewhere, if you wanted to-“ The Director cut her off, smacking her hand over her mouth.

“Shut _up_ ,” Luck snarked back, smiling despite herself. Alex only quirked an eyebrow, placing a kiss on the offending hand before she removed it. There was a pause where Lucy looked down on her girls, and Maggie stared up at Alex and Alex just smiled. “I _missed_ you,” and then Lucy was pressing herself into the two of them.

Alex stepped back half a step, giving herself enough room to wrap both arms around them, pulling the triad into a tight, shuddering hug. And she held her girls for the first time in four years – as hard and as soft as should could.

* * *

## Ky

The triad remained in that hug for as long as possible, as long was appropriate, as long as was necessary. But then Lincoln was saying something from his room, and Winn was speaking into his comms to the dessert base (something about Supergirl being there?) and the moment broke.

Alex stepped back, but not away. She tapped something in her ear and listened to whomever was on the other side for a moment, head turned away.

Lucy took the moment to tug Maggie closer, pressing her face against the leather of her jacket as the Detective continued to stare at Alex. “She’s here.”

“It doesn’t seem real…”

“I know.”

“How low is her pressure? Okay, get- Yeah… yeah- she’s a White Martian Vik, she doesn’t- would you just- okay, _fine_. Just please do it down here, not on board a ship that’s illegally hovering over a human city?” Alex argued, just a step away. “Thank you- do you need- well- _fine_ , fine! You win.”

Tapping her ear again, she turned back to the couple. “Luce, do you mind if I bring M'gann down here?”

Lucy shrugged. “Of course.”

“Is it okay if I bring down my trauma medic?”

Lucy arched an eyebrow, but acquiesced. It’s not like her secret government base was much of a secret if Maggie was beamed directly into it from their ship already. On that note. “ _You_ have a trauma medic?”

Alex’s eyes widened. She opened her mouth to say something, but no words were immediately produced. “Ah… yeah. I mean, she trained under me and kind of… works for me?”

Lucy’s eyes narrowed, and she straightened just a little. “Works for you?”

“It’s a long, _long_ story, but yeah. For me.”

“You should not be so uncomfortable with the phrase, Alex Danvers,” Lucy and Maggie jerked around to see that Vik and M'gann (in a mobile hospital bed) had been beamed onto the deck. “I am honored to work under you.”

“ _For_ Vik,” Alex immediately correct, raising a hand in front of her. “For, not under.”

“Why would I not want to be under you?” Vik asked, blinking white eyes slowly. “You are very skilled.”

“Just… never mind,” Alex winced, looking at the amused smiles of her girls from the corner of her eyes. “How’s Ky?” Genuine, real, deep concern edged her voice, and Maggie felt another puzzle piece land on the table.

“She was injured but is resting now. She will be fine within the light. You need not worry.”

Shoulders relaxing just an inch, Alex turned back to the patient at hand. “Can you just make sure she stays stable? Just go up the stairs, to the left. You can set up next to Lincoln.”

Vik didn’t move, eyeing her Captain carefully. “Do you need medical attention?”

“I’m fine.”

Vik frowned, looking at Alex, then the women standing behind her. “That is incorrect.”

“Just,” Alex exhaled loudly, pinching her nose. “I’m fine _for now_ , okay?” 

Vik nodded agreeably, and after corralling some Agents, M'gann was taken to be observed, her alien doctor a step behind.

“You’re hurt?” Maggie took a half step forward, hands raised uncertainly.

“Hamilton already checked me out. A fractured rib, bunch of bruising, but nothing major – you don’t have to worry.” But Maggie would always worry – would worry for the rest of their lives because Alex was _gone_. “But do you mind if we sit? It’s been…” She rubbed at her face, thinking about the last time she slept. “A long week.”

Maggie didn’t respond verbally, just reaching out and tangling her fingers with Alex’s tugging her down the stairs with her and Lucy.

Alex had to work not to stare at everything she passed. Not to get caught up in the details of the DEO she’d forgotten. Not get caught up in what she’d missed.

But then Maggie was pressing her into a chair. Lucy leaned her hip against it, fingers tangling in the ends of the longer part of her hair, while Maggie dragged a wheely chair over, settling so she could keep a hand on Alex’s knee, finger’s tangling together again.

Then Winn was there, a new tablet in his hands, finishing up a conversation over the coms.

“Vasquez reported that Supergirl is currently helping secure her White Martian in dessert containment,” he addressed the triad. “Do you want me to get her on the phone or-“

“No!” All three of them answered, varying degrees of panic.

“She’ll kill herself or someone else trying to get here,” Lucy explained. “I don’t need any more paperwork after the fiasco with the Martians. Just tell her to report to city base when she’d done.” Alex fidgeted at the thought though. Kara. _Kara_.

And Winn was off, typing. Smile still firmly planted on his face. He also, inconspicuously, lingered at the central console. He had work to do regarding the clean-up in city center, but he didn’t want to let his sister out of his sight. Possibly ever again.

“So,” Alex started, already internally wincing at her none sequitur. “How are you guys?”

Maggie chuckled under her breath, tracing the fingers of Alex’s hand carefully. Memorizing every part.

“We’re good,” Lucy replied, pulling on the back of Alex’s hair lightly. “But our girlfriend’s kinda been off the grid for the last year, so we’ve been working through that.”

The comment was intended to bring some lightness to an otherwise impossible question. It was Lucy being Lucy. But Alex stiffened, leaning back from her hand and looking up at her. “A year?”

The Director frowned, sharing a look with Maggie. “Yeah?”

“A year…” Alex looked away, rubbing at her face harshly with her free hand. “It’s only been a year.”

“ _Only?”_ Maggie asked, trying to catch Alex’s eyes. “Not long enough for you Danvers?”

“ _No,_ no, it’s not that,” she leaned forward, taking her hand from Maggie’s so she could rest her elbows on her knees and face in her hands.

“Alex,” Lucy softened her voice, a skill she’d learned over the last few months. “What’s wrong? What aren’t you saying?”

Alex didn’t move for a second – taking a second to enjoy this moment before everything changed. Before she rocked the ground beneath their feet so hard that this happy reunion might shatter.

Taking her hands from her face, she pushed her chair back just a little, so she could look at both of them. “It might have only been a year for you, but it’s been a lot longer for me, a _lot_ longer. So much has changed, I’ve changed – its- I-“ She ran out of steam, clenching her jaw hard against her own jumbled thoughts.

“Danvers,” Maggie’s soft voice. They could tag team now – dangerous. “Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter, you’re _home_ and you’re _safe_. Anything else, we can deal with together, got it?”

And Alex wanted to believe her, wanted to trust the warm eyes and the soft looks and Lucy’s smile and Maggie’s dimples. She wanted everything to be so simple – but life wasn’t like that. _Her_ life wasn’t like that.

And this was proven again, because, just at that moment, the flare of a teleportation beam caught her eye.

_“Mom!”_

And Alex was up, getting exactly three steps towards her daughter before she had an armful of Green Martian in human form. Ky’d used too much speed, and they stumbled back hard enough that Alex was only caught by the central console behind them.

Putting aside her own drama for a second, Alex focused on her kid and how worried she was. How much she had been processing everything happening in sections, and now this section was in her arms, gripping hard enough to bruise. And it was such a _relief._

“Ky,” she whispered, fingers finding purchase at the back of her head, cupping the back of her neck and pressing her lips into her hair – glad for the height advantage she still had. “Are you alright?”

All she got was a mumbled response into her shirt. And for a moment, she allowed it. Allowed her kid to just press into her and breath – feel that her mother was okay, and alive, and she wasn’t alone anymore.

“Love,” Alex pulled her back just slightly, crouching on the ground and holding her by the arms. Her medical training crashed into her maternal instincts and she found herself scanning the Martian for injury. “Are you okay?”

“I’m _fine_ ,” she huffed back – but Alex could hear something wasn’t quiet settled with her voice. Her breathing was this side of labored.

“I am going to choose to believe that,” Alex responded, reaching up to tuck some loose hair behind her ear. Reflectively mirroring her daughters smile. “And you are going to take it easy until told otherwise, capeesh?”

“Capeesh.” Then Alex watched her expression shift. From happy and relieved, to nervous. Eyes flickering behind her, then back, shoulders pulling up and jaw setting. Alex didn’t need to look behind her to know what she was looking at.

“Hey,” she waited until Ky met her eyes. Properly. So, she knew that she heard what she said next. Reaching up, she placed the side of her hand under her chin, maintaining eye contact. “El mayarah, remember? Nothing changes that. Ever.”

Ky’s eyes flickered, just for a moment, but her jaw relaxed. “Promise?”

“Promise,” she whispered, standing and pulling her kid back into her arms. It had been a long week, the longest the pair had ever voluntarily been apart. And despite the drama waiting behind her, she just needed to hold her child. Just for a moment. “Okay,” pulling back, she ran her thumb under the teenager’s eye, making her squint and swat but not pull away. “You ready?”

“Nope,” she replied, popping the ‘p’, but she still straightened the edges of her mom’s old jacket. “Let’s do it.”

Alex chuckled, pulling her back a little roughly to place a kiss on top of her head, “that’s my girl.” She didn’t need to look to know Ky flushed.

“Alright,” Alex grabbed at the back of Ky’s collar, tugging her so that they could turn around and face the music together.

Lucy, Maggie and Winn were still where she’d left them. Eyes fixed on the unfolding reunion. 

Winn’s mouth was literally hanging open, tablet dangling at his side; Lucy was standing, arms crossed with squinted eyes, confused eyes; Maggie was still seated, half leaning back in her chair, her _detecting_ face on.

“So, I ah,” Alex started, already feeling old habits swimming back. She couldn’t _not_ be awkward around these women. They did something to her higher functioning. “I’d like to introduce you to someone-“

“Oh, we’ve already met,” Lucy responded, eyes flicking between the mother and daughter.

“What?” Alex looked down at Ky, who was suddenly very interested in _anything_ but her.

“Oh, she intervened in a DEO operation, and spent the afternoon in medical,” Lucy added.

“I didn’t _intervene,_ ” Ky argued, just shy of pouting. “I _saved_ Supergirl!”

“You did _what_ now?” Alex tugged at the back of her collar until the grimacing guilty teenager was looking up at her. 

“There was a missile,” the widening eyes made her stutter – suddenly feeling much younger than her fourteen-ish years. “And she was hit so I just… you know… sorta, jumped into the water and saved her?”

“She stopped a missile with her body,” Maggie cut in (Alex noted that there was some endearment in that tone – but that was a later thought).

“You did _what!?_ ”

“What you would do!”

“She has a point Danvers,” Maggie cut in again, finally relaxing a little in her chair. Lucy still had crossed arms, but her head was titled – eyes softer. Winn had become a statute, forever frozen in his state of shock.

Squinting at her girlfriend, she released her authoritative hold on Ky, taking a deep steadying breath and rubbing at her eyes. “Okay, so you’ve met. That’s… cool.” Looking between her family once more, Alex pushed on, looking back at her still sheepish kid. “Did you tell them about us?”

Ky just shook her head, jamming hands in pockets and shuffling her feet.

Biting at her lips, Alex took another breath, placing a comforting hand at the nape of Ky’s neck. They were both very tactile, and she could feel the anxiety growing in the girl. She knew how to keep her kid grounded. 

“I adopted Ky just after the first year of our journey, she’s been with me ever since,” best to just spit it out.

“ _After_ the first year?” Lucy asked, taking half a step forward, bringing herself close enough to Maggie that she could place a hand on her shoulder. “How long have you been gone?”

Alex licked her lips, squinting against tears. “Darla- the ship, has the exact number, but… just over four years?”

Maggie exhaled a shaky breath, Lucy blinked hard against prickling eyes.

“Time move’s differently in space sometimes,” Alex explained, watching the degrees of pain shift across her girlfriends faces. Watched them realize the beginnings of the implications of this – realize that as much as Alex had missed, they’d missed more. “I know… I know that this complicates things, might even change things,” Lucy’s hand on Maggie’s shoulder flexed. “And I understand, really, if it does. You can have all the time you need, to... process. But… me and Ky – we’re a package deal.”

Maggie bit the inside of her check, eyeing the way Ky was staring at the floor like it had the answers to the universe, how her shoulders were set, but her hands were fisting in her pockets anxiously. Came to the sudden and horrifying realization that this kid knew about them. Knew that her mom had dated them before the kidnapping - knew that she might be the reason they stopped. 

“Danvers,” Maggie locked eyes with Lucy, seeing what she needed reflected back, before looking back. “I told you, we can deal with anything together.”

“I know,” Alex breathed back, not feeling the relief that she wanted to. “But you guys… you need to go away and talk about this. And we need to talk about this together, after. Because this isn’t something I want you to do lightly, or out of obligation, you gotta want this, all of this. Otherwise it won’t work, and I won’t risk anyone getting hurt.” Ky, if possible, shrank further away, Alex’s hand at her neck prevented her from running. She squeezed her fingers against the skin, a silent reminder that it was _them_ against the world. “Is that… okay?”

Maggie looked back up at Lucy, watching the way her eyes had settled, and her fingers lost their iron grip. No one was making any decisions right now, but Maggie, suddenly, was less worried then she’d been two minutes ago.

“Sounds good to me Danvers,” she smiled back, eyes settling on the girl.

“Can’t believe _you’re_ the one telling us to talk about our feelings like adults, but I’m on board,” Lucy relied, giving Maggie’s shoulder one last squeeze.

“Ah, guys?” Winn seemed to have finally realized that words were a thing. “Vas just reported in, Supergirl’s finished up and is on her way, you might want to brace-“

* * *

## Kara

Today _sucked_.

She should have known better. She could practically hear Maggie teasing her about jinxing it - complaining the day was _too slow_ and _too boring._ The universe was punishing her for her hubris with a giant, annoyingly fast, White Martian.

She _hated_ when the flying ones ran. They were just so hard to pin down without support – and J’onn was busy with his own alien invader.

But yes, she was Supergirl, so she managed to catch up with halfway across the freaken dessert. And yes, because she was Supergirl, she managed to subdue him after an annoyingly long fight.

She lost comms back on the street, so she decided to just drop him at the dessert base. It’s where he’d end up anyway and Lucy was always giving her flack for taking dangerous giant aliens back through the city to be processed. Even if she _hated_ the dessert base and the bat that kept attacking her.

So, after an hour of wrangling, she helped the Agent secure the Martian and was on her way – making sure to give Vas a hug before she left. Vas who have her a weirdly insistent order to return to the City base.

Kara frowned but complied, enjoying the flight but keeping an ear out for any other potential attacks. The IT commander had assured her that the fight had gone well back in the center, and the other Whites were dispensed with. It didn’t hurt to keep an ear out anyway.

She landed with hard on the DEO balcony, humming to herself as she hopped down the steps. Even if today _sucked_ didn’t mean she couldn’t keep a pep in her step.

Fiddling with the new tear in her cape (she _hated_ White Martians), she started talking loud enough to carry into the central comms, assuming Winn was there.

“Hey! So, I dropped that Martian… _jerk_ at the dessert but Lucy wasn’t there, and my coms are down, so what is _so_ important that I have to report back to base so fast?” She tossed the now fraying cape to the side, letting it settle at her back, finally looking up. “I mean-“

Words died in her throat. Her feet stopped moving, like she'd slammed into an invisible wall. 

A short, sharp inhale. Her eyes already glassy and wide – “Alex?”

“Kara-“ Alex had turned around at the sound of her sister’s voice, had remained frozen, the rest of their family a step behind her. Had felt her heart stutter and her stomach swoop – had resisted the urge to start sprinting towards the Kyroptian wandering happily across the DEO.

And suddenly Kara was moving – stumbling forward like a string was dragging her. No rush, not at a run, pulled by the invisible force of shock.

And then they collided, Alex meeting her halfway.

Kara felt her body automatically rock with the momentum of her movement. Felt how Alex’s arms came around her with familiar force. Felt how she breathed her name into her shoulder. 

“Alex?” But Kara couldn’t look at her face, all she could do was glance up and see Lucy and Maggie and Winn, all staring at her with watery smiles, nodding – confirming that this was _real_ that she was _here._

Her breathing was sharp and stuttered, even as her arms squeezed tighter than recommended – but not tighter than Alex used to say she could handle. She finally looked away from her family standing behind and pressed her cheek against the side of Alex’s head, squeezing her eyes shut and just _listening_.

Listening to how her breath was also coming in short, sharp gasps. How her heart was beating too fast, but familiar. How she was clenching her fingers in her cape, and the back of her suit. How it was _Alex_ in her arms.

Suddenly she pulled back – she needed to _see._

“How… how are you here?” Kara asked, keeping one hand firmly on Alex’s shoulder, fingers pressing into the stiff material hard enough to bruise. Eyes still wet with love and shock.

“I ah,” Alex laughed, swiping under her eyes as she smiled. “I came on a spaceship?”

Kara let out a stuttered laugh, turning into tears mid-way. “You’re _here_.”

“And I’m not going _anywhere,”_ she whispered back, reaching over and dragging Kara back into another hug, squeezing hard enough with her bionic arm that it protested, but Kara would be able to truly feel it. “I _promise_.”

“Okay,” Alex finally laughed, extracting herself more fully from her still awed sister. “Okay, I need to tell you something. A lot actually, but something important first.”

Alex was smiling, so Kara was confused by the suddenly nervous energy coming off her sister. _Her sister._

“Ah, so, I know it’s been like a year for you guys, but it’s been… a lot longer for me.”

“Like how I was stuck in the phantom zone?”

“Yeah, sometimes. Depends on the galaxy. But some stuff has changed in that time… a lot of stuff. But some good, really good.” Kara was suddenly vividly reminded of the day Alex came out to her. _That_ was the kind of energy vibrating off her sister.

“…Okay?”

“Excuse her – She’s just trying to introduce me,” another voice suddenly interjected, appearing half a step behind her sister. _Her sister._

It was the girl from the pier, and the both White Martian fights. “Hey, we’ve met! You okay, by the way? You looked pretty hurt down by the street – I’m sorry we didn’t get there faster.”

The girl shrugged, taking another half step almost beside Alex now. “I’m durable.”

“I noticed!” Then her eyes widened, fixing on Alex, finally taking note of her outfit and the timing. “Oh! Oh Rao, it was you, Alex! In the suit with the teleporting beam and the sword and the scary outfit!”

Alex chucked, still with slightly nervous eyes darting between her and the girl. “Yeah, that was me.”

“So, you two know each other?” she flicked a finger between the teenager and her sister. _Her sister._

“Oh, just casually,” the girl quipped, biting back a smile when Alex wacked her in the chest. Kara’s eyes narrowed. She spared a glance at the superfriends waiting in the sideline. Maggie was now standing, Lucy pressed mostly against her front with an arm wrapped around her waist. They were both smiling fondly at the unfolding situation. It sounded like Lucy had snickered.

“Kara, this is Ky,” Alex said, putting a hand on the girl’s arm. “My daughter.”

Oh.

“Oh.”

Kara knew that she had wide eyes. She knew that she needed to say something because she could hear their heartbeats. As fast as Alex’s was, it had nothing on Ky’s, who looked like she was seconds from bolting. Who hands were still jammed into pockets because she didn’t want anyone to see how they were shaking. Her sister’s daughter was scared. _Her sister’s daughter._

“Um, whoa.” Not ideal, but better than the silence which was being filled by Ky’s ever-increasing heart rate.

“Yeah,” Alex answered, hand slipping up to press against the exposed skin behind her daughters’ neck.

Kara turned to regard the girl, desperate to alleviate her anxiety. “So, you’re… my niece?”

Ky set her eyes just to Kara’s left as to avoid direct eye contract, before responding “and you’re my _aiahv_ [aunt].”

Kara’s eyes widened impossibly more, glancing at Alex who only had proud affectionate eyes for the kid who was using a Kryptonian word to describe their relationship.

“Well, its like… super nice to meet you? I’m _so_ sorry about letting you get- Oh!” Alex’s head jerked around at the sudden horror in Kara’s tone. “Oh _Rao_ , I let you go after that missile!” Ky took a step back, suddenly very uncomfortable with where the conversation was going to go. Alex's eyes became horrified all over again.

“I'm _so_ sorry! I didn’t mean to. I got hit, and was like, sinking and suddenly this kid – _your kid_ – is dragging me to the surface!” Alex’s mouth dropped just a hint in shock at the additional information, unsure whether to be looking at Kara or Ky.

Alex looked back at the youngest Danvers', catching the corner of her jacket before she could retreat further. “I left you alone for _six_ _cycles._ Just… How? Where were the others during all of this?”

“Oh… ah,” Ky winced. “I kinda convinced Linc and Frey to come out with me? Otherwise I’d just sneak out… so they agreed… but then like… I jumped in anyway?”

Sighing and pinching the bridge of her nose, Alex released the nervous teenager. “And where are the rest of them now?”

“Oh, well, um… well, Craig and Drew are in the Exodus, Linc’s here somewhere and the others are off looking for the 90.”

“The rest of them? How many of you are there?” Kara asked, looking around as if she’d hidden them in the DEO.

“Um…” Glancing at Ky, Alex bit her lip.

“I can head up to the Exodus, if you want? Or chill with Linc.” Ky offered, sensing exactly where this conversation was going.

“Can you do me a favor?” She asked, turning fully to face Ky, who was already nodding. “I need the flash with Darla on it – Scotty should have a copy. Can you get it, and bring J’onn down for me?”

“Yeah, course,” she was already half a step away when Alex pulled her back by the fabric of her jacket, directly into another hug. “ _Ma._ ”

“Hush,” Alex murmured against her hair. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too – now please let me go?” She grumbled, though did not make any attempt to escape.

Finally chuckling, Alex released the teenager, watching with fond eyes as she walked back up the stairs towards the teleporter.

“That’s your _kid_ ,” Kara whispered, eyes tracking the girl as well.

“Pretty great huh?”

Kara turned back, an uncontrollable grin breaking across her face as she looked at her sister’s face. _Her sister._

“Yeah, it is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * I'm so sorry I tortured y'all so much.


	23. Debrief

All it took to take the edge off the happy reunion was Alex asking if they could _talk somewhere privately_. Winn, with wide eyes, led them to the empty conference room C.

Everyone took a seat, the room unsettled by the energy Alex was giving off. Alex, who did not sit down, and instead stood by at the end of the table where the presentations normally took place. She wasn’t pacing, but it looked like she wanted to.

Lucy and Maggie sat together, backs to the windows, hands linked under the edge of the table. Kara took the seat opposite Lucy, and closest to Alex, Winn next to her. None of them were able to comfortably take their eyes of Alex – still mostly afraid she would disappear. 

“I… I have a lot to explain,” Alex started, wringing her hands together. “I just don’t want to have to do it more than once. So, Ky’s getting J’onn from my ship, and something I need to help,” she whirled a hand around in front of her, looking for the right word. “Talk… about everything.”

“ _Your_ ship?” Winn asked, turning his chair so it was facing Alex more fully.

“Yeah – I’m Captain, so technically it’s mine.”

“You’re the Captain of a spaceship?” Winn’s eyes were wide, then he nodded. “Yeah, that tracks.”

“Thanks?” And then J’onn was at the doorway – Eyes absolutely fixed on Alex. “J’onn,” she breathed.

“Alex,” and then he was hugging her. The kind of hug that made your bones warm. The kind of hug a father gives to his daughter, a hug which makes you feel _safe._ “Thank you,” he murmured, squeezing her hard. “I don’t even know how to thank you enough.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” she whispered back, squeezing as hard as her injuries allowed.

“You brought him _back to me_ ,” she could tell he was fighting tears, but this was going to be a long conversation, and if he started crying, she’d start crying. And then everyone would know they could cry. “ _Thank you.”_

She pulled away, smiling up at his familiar face. Feeling her heart finally settle, now that the last of the DEO Superfriends was accounted for. “You’re welcome.”

“Ma?” Ky has hesitated at the door, waiting for the moment to pass.

“Hey, thanks kiddo,” she took the offered tech from her hands. “I’ll come get you when we’re done, alright?”

“’Kay, I’ll be with Linc if you need me.”

“Ma?” J’onn asked, almost in a whisper, feeling his heart swell at his daughter’s obvious joy.

“Yeah, but that’s part of the story, so I’ll explain in a bit, yeah? Winn, can you upload this to the mainframe?” She held out what _looked_ like a USB. He nodded eagerly, immediately pulling up the room’s computer and plugging it in. J’onn didn’t sit, choosing to stand behind Kara and Winn’s chairs – keeping an eye on all his kids.

“Wow,” Winn pulled his hands off the keyboard when his whole screen went blue then filled with code. “I don’t know-“

“Administrator access required,” a female, but otherwise robotic voice intoned.

“Captain Alex Danvers, Exodus II,” Alex answered, voice sure.

“Administration accepted – Welcome home, Captain.”

“Thanks Darla,” Alex replied, smiling at the still blue screen. She nodded at Winn’s questioning eyes, and he went back to his seat, still feeling the curiosity of new tech buzzing under his fingers.

“Um… I don’t even know where to start?” Alex suddenly muttered, rubbing at her bad hand with her thumb.

“It is always best to start at the beginning, Captain.”

Alex rolled her eyes, but otherwise agreed with the sentiment. “So… it’s been, what, a year since I left?”

The room nodded, while J’onn answered “but it’s been a lot longer for you, hasn’t it?”

Heaving a breath, Alex nodded back. “Darla, how long has it been since the Exodus landed in Takron-Galtos?”

“My records show that you have experienced 1,540 days since the original Exodus left Earth. That approximates 4 years, 2 months and 3 weeks, Earth time.”

The room got very quiet. Maggie’s grip on Lucy’s fingers strengthened. Kara took her hands off anything breakable.

“You’ve been gone _four years_?” Winn breathed, half a question, half just expressing his horror. Alex nodded slowly.

“We were… dumped on the other side of the universe. Lillian and Jeramiah,” Kara flinched at Alex using her father’s name, rather than his title. “They specifically designed the ship and destination so it was nearly impossible to get back. It took… a lot of time.”

“You’ve been trying to get back to Earth for _four years_?” Kara asked, muscles tense enough that they stood out under her supersuit.

“Me and anyone else who was deported that day.”

“All 343 aliens?” Maggie asked, thinking about all the phone calls and meetings she’d taken – the sheer numbers of families torn apart.

“Yeah, plus some strays,” Alex shrugged.

“How many made it back?” Because Maggie could read between the lines. Could see Alex’s posture, and the way guilt sat at the edges of her words.

Breathing once, Alex’s jaw ticked. “Darla?”

“There are currently 53 members active crew members of the Exodus, including Ky Danvers, but excluding Gertrude. A further 90 took a jump ship to earth 11 months ago. Of the 143, 121 are from the original Exodus crew.” 

“But not everyone who didn’t come home died,” Alex felt compelled to explain. “In the beginning, a lot of people just settled elsewhere. Or decided to try get back on their own.” Didn’t alleviate her guilt though.

“Why haven’t we been hearing about all these missing aliens turning up?” Maggie asked, but the real question was _why didn’t someone tell us you were alive?_

Alex winced, hesitating for a moment. “The jump wasn’t big enough for the entire crew. Those that stayed behind… We didn’t want to give families false hope. I thought, it had been two, three years on Earth, since we left. I couldn’t… Imagine waiting that long, being told I was alive and coming home and just… never hearing from me again?” No one said anything, but their reactions were exactly as horrified as Alex expected.

“So, I asked my Second at the time to try and keep everything as quiet as possible, for as long as possible. I’m not even completely sure they made it – that’s one of the things I was having Drew and Ella look into.”

“And Ky? Where did she come from?” J’onn asked, barely containing his desperation.

“That, I can’t tell you,” Alex answered, shrugging just a little. “She didn’t even know she _was_ a Green Martian until I figured it out. She doesn’t remember anything about Mars, or her birth parents. As far as she was concerned? She was a foster kid who had something in her file that made no one want to take her in.” Alex spoke as if these were simple facts, only her fingers digging into her arm giving away her fury. “She bounced between group homes until Cadmus abducted her.”

“So, she was on Earth? Before you left?” J’onn whispered, something clenching in his chest. Alex nodded, waiting for him to breathe through his thinking. “How did you know that she was a Green?”

Alex bit in the inside of her cheek, glancing in the general direction of Lincoln and Ky. “That… isn’t my story. You can ask her, if you want. She might not tell you straight away though.” J’onn squinted his eyes, but otherwise nodded. He could feel turmoil under the words – but it was not the time.

The moment sat heavily – everyone trying to process the information. Trying to come to grips with a new reality.

“So, the White Martian attack,” Winn waved his hands out the windows, as if they were unsure what attacks he was referring to. “That was them finding out Ky was a Green?”

“They’ve been looking for her for a while,” Alex tipped her head to each side. “I guess they were waiting for an opportunity, where I wasn’t around… I’ve encountered Martians before, while I’ve been gone. I have a… particular reputation with them. Not very amicable.”

“I should say so.” Kara muttered. “They guy took one look at you and bolted, took me almost an hour to get him into containment.”

“What happened to the other Martian, the one following the ship?” Maggie asked, cop voice sneaking in.

“Oh, I told my pilot to let him go after he stopped pursuing you,” Alex explained. At everyone’s suddenly wide looks, she elaborated. “If they think that four Martians just went missing, they’ll send reinforcements. If they know I’m here, they won’t send more – and I really am not in the mood to fight anymore Whites.”

“I should hope not, given you basically cracked every rib in your body,” Lucy muttered, squeezing Maggie’s fingers.

“What?” Kara suddenly sat up, turning her body totally towards her sister. “You’re _hurt?”_ “No, Kara don-“ _“_ Let me-“

And then she x-rayed the Captain.

Lucy, the only one with the context of Alex getting squirrely with the Doc about Supergirl giving her an x-ray, was already on alert. She watched how Alex’s left arm twitched, as if it wanted to hide, and how panic seized her shoulders.

“ _Alex…”_ Kara breathed, eyes fixed on her sisters’ injuries – and not the ones from this afternoon. “What _happened_?”

And all eyes were on Alex. Alex, who looked like she wanted to hide. Vanish. Sink into the floor.

“Kara…” but she didn’t even know where she wanted that sentence to go. Should she just tell the stories? Rip off the Band-Aid? Reveal the fact that her eye is artificial and her arm robotic? Peel away the protective armor around her pain, for everyone to see? But the moment stretched on, and she couldn’t do it. It was too raw, too intimate, too… painful for a room of five people – even if she trusted every one of them with her life.

But they were staring, and four of them had no idea what this could possibly be about. The uncertainty would eat them alive, so Alex found herself forcing words from her mouth. “Space isn’t very human-friendly, and four years is a long time. I’ve been hurt.” A pause, Alex’s hand twitched. “A lot.”

No one relaxed, but Alex didn’t know how to reassure them without opening up her chest cavity – revealing all the dark and ugly pain she kept inside.

“Captain Danvers has sustained significant injuries which required artificial modification. She does not like to talk about it.”

Stuttering a laugh, Alex answered without turning around. “Thanks Darla.”

“You are welcome, Captain.”

Another pause, before Lucy finally cut through. “You don’t have to tell us anything until you’re ready, okay?” 

Alex thought back to the scars on her back, on her shoulders, that Lucy might have seen in that doctor’s office. “I will tell you… just not right now? If that’s okay?”

“You have all the time in the world,” Maggie answered for the group, smiling lopsidedly at the very uncomfortable woman – who was doing a horrid job at hiding the anxious clenching of her bad hand. Alex smiled back, endlessly grateful for these people and their understanding.

“So, um,” Alex scratched behind her ear, suddenly unsure where to take this conversation. It would take days to explain everything that had happened, weeks to unravel the trauma behind it all. She did _not_ have the emotional bandwidth for that right now. “Can I ask what’s been going on here?”

All the other people in the room started to look between each other – each trying to determine what was worth sharing. What did they need to tell in this context – what absolutely had to be shared?

“Little Luthor bought CatCo for your sister,” Maggie finally declared, shit eating grin immediately mirrored by Lucy.

_“What?”_

* * *

Alex watched Kara unlock her apartment, feeling her heart constrict at every familiar sight. Even the lobby had made her head spin.

Pushing open the door, she held it open for her guests to slip in, locking it behind them.

“Wow,” Ky muttered, taking in the, frankly, massive and beautiful space. She clenched her hand around her single bag of belongings.

“Make yourself at home!” Kara smiled, gesturing widely at the entire house, but not moving from the door. “You guys can take the bed, it’s just over there on the right.” She didn’t think she would sleep anyway.

Ky glanced at her mom, who nodded towards the bedroom. Doing as suggested, she investigated further into the space, Gertrude following closely. Meanwhile, Alex dropped her own duffle by the door, going to the familiar counter and curling a leg under her on the stool. Kara just watched for a second, eyes locked on her sister, before finally venturing into the kitchen.

“Thanks for letting us stay,” she muttered, accepting the sparkling water held out to her.

“You’re always welcome here,” but Kara was fiddling with her bottle cap, and even four years didn’t strip Alex of her ability to read her sister.

“What’s wrong? Did you not want-”

“No! No, I mean it, you guys are totally welcome. For as long as you need,” Kara leaned her elbows on the counter, biting her lip. “But… why aren’t you home? With Maggie and Lucy, I mean.”

Alex peeled away the corner of her label, thinking about that. “I brought home a kid, Kara. And I’ve… changed. A lot. I can’t ask them to just get on board. They need to talk about it. Think about it.”

A hand was suddenly on hers, fingers touching the beginning of her wrist. “Alex, I’ve been with them the last year. I don’t know that there is anything that can keep you three apart…. Not unless somethings changed for you.”

“Nothing will ever change for me,” she murmured back, thinking about the messages she’d recorded for her partners. How four years did nothing to dilute her commitment.

“Then it’ll work out,” ah, the sureness of a superhero. She missed the optimism – space lacked many things, including certainly.

“Ma?” Ky was leaning out of the bedroom, a hand hooked on the door frame keeping her at the odd angle. “Can I shower and crash? I’m still kinda sore.”

“Course love, just say goodnight before you call it,” Alex replied with a smile, watching how her kid glanced carefully at Kara before disappearing back into the room.

“She’s polite.”

“No, she’s not,” Alex laughed, putting down the bottle. “She’s just letting me know that she’s giving me space to have adult conversations.” 

“Oh…” Wide eyes glanced towards the bedroom, then back. “So… she’s smart.”

“That, she is.” She took a heaving breath, steadying herself for what had to come next. “About the arm-“

“Hey, no,” the hand was back, this time actually curling under her downturned palm. “You don’t have to tell me anything until you’re ready.”

“It’s okay,” Alex pulled back her hand, sitting properly in the chair so she could maneuver off the jacket she’d thrown on instead of her armor. Left in just her T-shirt, she rolled up the remaining sleeve. Placing her bad hand on the countertop, she clenched her fist slowly. Once. Twice. A third time.

“I was in an accident a couple years ago… It was mechanical failure. I had to fix something in our engine room while we were doing some dangerous flying. I ah… had my arm under the engine when it collapsed,” she flexed her jaw. Kara’s eyes did that thing where she was trying not to cry.

“I was trapped there for over an hour before anyone could come. My hand was completely shattered, and a metal rod went right through my forearm. I ah…” Alex swallowed against her own tears. She’d have to tell this story many more times in her near future. Better get better at it. “I was lucky I didn’t bleed out. And even luckier that my medics saved a lot of my arm. And it’s a miracle that Dryl is who he is.”

She hesitated, her sights locked on what looked like a perfectly normal limb, on a perfectly normal person. She closed her eyes, engaging with her neural chip. And she took a long slow breath when she opened them, the cloaking tech disengaging. She didn’t look at Kara, instead she watched as the tech gradually disengaged.

The tips of her fingers returning to their naturally detailed metal look, the rods of her fingers appearing. The darker metal that made up the joints and the back of her hand, and the wrist that looked more like a joy-stick mechanism then anything human based. Then finally her forearm and elbow, the longer shafts of metal which made up the strength required to function – including the mechanisms built around her elbow for support.

She even, in the spirit of getting this over with, allowed the patchwork on her skin to become visible – the places where Dryl had to restructure her actual anatomy so she had a hope of a functional arm. The places where she was now alien.

“Whoa,” Kara breathed, hands twitching as if she wanted to reach out. To do what, Alex wasn’t sure.

“I know its… a lot,” Alex muttered, wincing as something still busted in the tech fired up a nerve.

“Does it still hurt?” Her eyes were watery and locked on the metal.

“Sometimes, yeah. I need to get Dryl to do a maintenance, I think I busted something in the fight. But also… sometimes it just hurts, because my arm still hurts under it all.”

“Under it all?”

Alex felt her leg start to bounce on the stool’s rungs but fought the urge to run. She felt her jaw protesting from how hard she clenched it.

“Um, yeah. Vik saved a lot of my arm, and Dryl used his tech and… DNA to preserve its functionality. But the prosthetic isn’t fused to me,” swallowing her own feeling about the whole thing, Alex reached around with her good arm, feeling for the slight grooves where three of her fingers could press into just above the elbow.

She held for a moment, eyes still distinctly not looking at her sister. In her head, there was a series of beeps – the chip letting her know that it was safe to disengage.

The prosthetic became deadweight the moment she removed her fingertips. She could suddenly feel the pull of it on her stump, feel how it wasn’t part of her anymore. Carefully, feeling the limb was still bruised for her fight today (was that really today?), she pulled the arm gently from her.

Alex gritted her teeth against any exclamation of pain as the arm came away. She still hadn’t looked up, but eventually the prosthetic was placed to the side of the counter. Leaving just the scarred, metal-riddled remains of her human arm.

“Dryl’s from Tormock,” Kara murmured, hands still twitching, rage burning in her chest, but voice soft. Eyes softer. Alex nodded, still not looking up – eyes fixed on the devastated remains of her body. “Alex, look at me.”

It took a second. A second of burning eyes, still thinking about the longest hour of her life where she really thought she was going to die. Alone. In an engine room, millions of miles from her family.

She looked up.

Kara had set her eyes on Alex’s now, no longer looking at the damage done to her sister – not thinking about the past right now because there would be plenty of time for that. Plenty of time to agonize over what was, what could have been. But Alex’s pain and fear were seeping out of her like a toxin. And this was her only opportunity to react for the first time.

“Alex, nothing that happened to you out there is going to change how I, or anyone else, sees you.” She kept her voice gentle, and eyes kind, but firm. There could be no room for misunderstanding this time. “This,” she gestured at the arm now resting on her kitchen counter. “You,” she nodded at her sister who was fighting against the urge to hunch over. “Are still beautiful and amazing and if anyone has anything else to say about it, they can take it up with me.”

Alex managed half a smile, eyes flickering to where her arm just… ended. Even three years later, she was still sometimes surprised by the absence. When she traced her eyes over her bicep, down to her elbow then, just a few inches of her forearm remained... then nothing. A slightly rounded off stump, more often painful than not.

She tried to keep the prosthetic off when it wasn’t necessary – the pinched nerve gets aggravated by the strain – but she’d yet to truly get used to it.

“Um…” Kara shifted her weight, eyes suspiciously looking anywhere but Alex’s now.

“You want to ask about the eye.”

“No!” she adjusted her glasses – dead giveaway. Alex just arched an eyebrow until Kara gave up, smiling apologetically.

“Only if you’re comfortable though.”

“It was removed during a raid,” this, Alex found easier. The eye wasn’t something separate from her anymore. It didn’t get removed (unless damaged), and it mostly functioned as a regular eye. It was her arm that made her _different_ (a darker voice in her head added _broken_ ). Plus, talking battle wounds was more comfortable territory for her. “Forcibly. I control it via a neural chip, though it had to be reconfigured for that purpose.”

Kara hesitated, considering whether to approach the bigger, scarier question. And deciding against it. “You can see fine?”

“I don’t even need a prescription for it,” Alex smiled just around the edges. “Which is good, because I haven’t had accesses to contacts or glasses for years. I rely on the artificial one to read almost exclusively.”

“Then why are you always squinting with your good eye?” Alex had been sharing a room with Ky for literal years. And the Exodus wasn’t a particularly big ship. So, having a teenager phase through walls to get to you faster really no longer surprised her.

Kara, on the other hand, literally put her hand through the ledge of the counter. The crunch and crash making Ky take a hard step back.

“Sorry! I… ah…” Ky looked at Alex with wide eyes, looking for advice on how to handle scaring your superpowered aunt so bad she caused destruction in her own home.

“No! _I’m_ sorry! I just didn’t expect you, is all,” Kara stuttered, brushing the crumbled marble from her hands awkwardly.

Ky winced, looking between the sisters, in her Exodus stamped sweats and an old t-shirt.

Alex just chucked to herself, gesturing for Ky to come over. “Good shower?”

Ky hesitated for a moment before walking over to her mother, eyes still flickering to the Kryptonian who was trying to appear casual. Leaning against the counter that she had just crushed, she adjusted her glasses. Looking the picture of panicked, to be honest.

“Yeah,” she mumbled, dragging a hand through still damp hair. “It’s nice. Not having recycled water for a change.”

“I can’t wait,” Alex grinned, tugging the girl over when she was in arms reach, for a hug. Still seated, so Ky had to step between her legs, she let her mother hold her for just a second too long to be casual. Eventually she pulled back, keeping her only available hand on her daughters’ arm, resting her other on her thigh. “How’s your breathing?”

“I’m _fine_ ,” she said, rolling her eyes. Alex suppressed another smile at the attitude.

“No, you aren’t,” she tucked some hair behind her ear. “But you will be, after some rest. I’ll join you a little later.”

Ky didn’t move though, gnawing on the inside of her lip while her eyes flickered between the women. “Am uą safe to xpadżąv ęli?” _Am I safe to sleep here?_

Alex’s fingers flexed around her arm, jaw tightening for just a moment. The very fact that this was a question to be asked _hurt_.

“Yeah love,” she smiled as reassuringly as possible. “I’m here, Gert will stay with you, and Kara’s got our backs, I swear.”

Eye’s flickering for just another moment, Ky nodded, accepting that her mother would keep her safe. Not really knowing how to address Kara, she just gave an awkward smile before retreating into the offered space where their pet had already made herself comfortable.

“Was that Martian?” Kara asked, finally relaxing from her awkward position.

“Yeah.”

“And she speaks Kryptonese?”

Alex looked up, really looking her sister in the eye. “Of course – she should understand where she comes from, from all sides of her person.”

Kara’s eyes watered, just a little, but she was smiling.

“Plus, Kryptonese was more useful to speak for the first few years. English is basically useless, and we all had to adjust. I was lucky to have any second non-Earth language – Ky only had rudimentary Spanish to work with.”

“Motherhood looks good on you.”

Alex laughed, taking back her drink. Kara didn’t miss how naturally she twisted the top with just the one available hand. “She… she was the best thing to come out of the last four years. I honestly don’t know what kind of person I’d be without her.” Alex paused, scratching at her undercut, eyes wondering.

“Actually - this,” she waved her amputated arm for a moment. “Happened because… because I didn’t think my life was worth as much as anyone else on the crew. I thought… I felt guilty because of Jeremiah and not stopping the ship – So I volunteered to do something I knew was dangerous.” She paused, her mouth twisting as she considered how to express herself. “And I got hurt.”

She rubbed at the forearm left below her elbow, feeling the muscles protest. “She wasn’t… mine yet. Or, she was, but we’d never talked about it. Afterwards,” Alex suddenly smiled; eyes wistful. “Afterwards, people told me that they thought I’d taken her on months earlier. But we’d never made anything official. Anyway,” she shook her head, suddenly more somber. “I was laid up for a while, and I had to get the neural chip calibrated a bunch. Which isn’t pleasant, but what did it matter? I deserved it.” Kara bit her tongue hard enough to hurt, but didn’t interrupt, sensing this was going somewhere.

“But one session, Ky just forces her way into the infirmary – phased right through the wall, into my room. Dryl told her to leave, that she shouldn’t be there. But Ky just set her jaw and squared up to this guy who had like two feet on her, and fifty ponds. And you know what she said?”

Rhetorical, but Kara still shook her head, leaning into Alex’s suddenly intense eye contact. “She looked him in the eye and said ‘I’m the _aonah im zhehd zhor_ [Daughter of her Heart],’ so she should be allowed to stay in the room, even if I was hurting. I… don’t even know where she came up with that phrase, but she’s used it ever since.”

“I… could have lost myself, up there. There was so much _distance_. And every time we thought we were making progress, something would happen – a raid or a kidnapping or-“ shaking her head, Alex pushed on. “But Ky? She gave me something to live for _on_ the ship. I don’t know what I would be if the only thing keeping me going was getting back here. I… I don’t know what I would have become if I only had that to hold on to. As it is… I’m not sure I’m the same person.”

Kara allowed the silence to settle in the room for a moment. Mind whirling around the Kryptonese and her sister’s pain and the teenager sleeping just a wall away.

She reached out, touching the tips of her fingers to Alex’s cheek, before responding. “As I said, motherhood looks really good on you.”

* * *

Maggie’s keys missed the bowl after she stepped into the apartment. They clanged, loudly, against the glass topped table they kept by the door for this very reason. The sound reverberated in her head for a second, holding her in place, until Lucy’s hand on the small of her back urged her forward.

They hadn’t really spoken. Not since they’d watched Alex, Kara and Ky leave the DEO, dog in tow. It had taken some wrangling, but Alex had gotten her pilot to settle the ship above the DEO, still cloaked. Meanwhile, a third of the crew had disembarked, off to find their own families. Lucy had not missed the way Alex checked everyone had their comms before they left.

But Lucy and Maggie hadn’t really spoken to each other. J’onn was dealing with the fact that his _father_ was around and dealing with some trauma. Thus, Lucy had been tasked with organizing the mayhem of settling the ship. Winn was still dealing with the destruction from the fight, and Maggie had to co-ordinate and check in her with Captain. She also had to get a unit to pick up her car, which was still abandoned by the scene.

But Maggie’s car had been retrieved, and the ship had been settled, and Alex had pulled them aside, just for a minute.

_“I’m gonna go home with Kara tonight. I want to give you guys some time to think about… everything. And you can just let me know when… if you want to talk, okay? No pressure.”_

Which felt insane. Having Alex right there. Fingers grazing their arms as she spoke softly, intimately. Touching their arms and cheeks and all around being the tactile dork she was when she missed someone. And then she kissed them both softly, breathing in their space for a moment, before she left. Without them.

“Come on,” Lucy murmured, leading her deeper into their apartment. Alex’s apartment.

Lucy got her settled on the couch – sitting down on the coffee table in front of her as she pulled one of Maggie’s feet into her lap, untying her boots.

“How are you feeling?”

“Um… shocked?” Maggie tried, not really able to articulate everything going on in her chest at the moment.

“It was a lot,” Lucy nodded, now pulling up the laces and sliding the boot away. “Are you upset that she didn’t come home?” She put the foot down and reached for the other – focusing on the task to make it slightly easier to talk.

“A little,” she admitted, biting the inside of her cheek as she tried to deconstruct her scrambled emotions. “But I get it.”

“Where would we even put a teenager?” Lucy muttered, pulling up the laces on the second shoe, a little rougher.

“Is that what’s catching you?”

“Yes,” she pulled up another lace. “No. I don’t know.” She exhaled, now pulling the shoe off and dropping it to the floor with a thud. “A lot just happened in a small amount of time.”

“But Ky’s what’s tangling you up?” Maggie asked, not pulling her leg away from Lucy’s lap, her fingers automatically kneading at the sole of her foot. She still hadn’t looked up to make eye contact.

“Is it not with you?”

Maggie shrugged, trying to identify what about it _wasn’t_ catching her. What about Ky that didn’t scare her as much as she would have thought. “If she’d come home with a toddler or something, sure. That would be a different ball game. But I don’t know…” she sighed, pulling her foot away so she could lean closer to Lucy, fingers inches from Lucy’s knee’s. “It would be an adjustment, but I think we could make it work.”

“You think we could make a teenage alien work? In this apartment?” Lucy asked, arching her eyebrows, looking around the stupidly open plan space. 

Maggie half smiled but nodded in agreement. “We’d probably have to move.”

“And you’re ready for that? Uprooting our entire lives for an Alex that has been gone, by her estimation, four years?”

“You’re worried she’s changed.”

“She has.”

A silence. Long, but not anxious. More like they were both thinking back through the day. How Alex had been more affectionate in public then they’d ever seen, how she’d gravitated so hard around a teenager. How she had such a comradery with the aliens that she spoke to – how she looked after them like they were her own.

Even suggesting they go away and think about this before jumping in – the old Alex would have dived without checking if the water was deep enough.

“I’m not sure it’s all for the worse though,” Lucy muttered, scrubbing at her face. Her headache was back, and she’d _just_ gotten rid of it.

“We’ll figure it out Luce,” Maggie offered, fingers finally bridging the gap between them, pressing into her jeans. She rubbed the thumb over the material, smiling up at the Director, knowing what was really at the core of her fear. “Together.”

* * *

Alex had finally retired to bed, commenting on how much sleep debt she’d raked up. She’d taken a _long_ shower and had made sure to come back out and hug Kara one last long, lingering time, before crawling into bed – carefully maneuvering around her kid and the dog that was laying along the bottom.

And Kara had grabbed a change of clothes, and an extra blanket and set up on the couch. But she hadn’t even attempted the illusion of just going to sleep – instead she’d curled up in the middle of the couch, eyes locked on the gap between the curtains separating the bedroom and listened to her heart.

Hers and Ky’s. Just listened to them beat. And when that wasn’t enough, listened to them breath. And just stared. Because she felt like, if she relaxed for even one second, Alex would vanish, and she would have to wake up to another kind of living nightmare.

She was so focused on sounds, when her phone went off she almost crushed hit in surprise – It sounded like a cannon going off in her ear.

It was a message into the ‘Sister’s’ group chat.

> Maggie (23:39): _Hey Little Danvers – you holding up okay?_

Kara just stared at the screen. Her eyes flicked between the _Sister’s_ header and the visible chain of their last conversation – she’d been asking about Lucy’s headache. Offered to come by with dinner. Maggie had responded that she never needed an excuse to come home.

> Kara (23:43): _I can’t sleep._
> 
> Maggie (23:44): _What’s keeping you up?_
> 
> Kara (23:50): _I’m scared, I think_
> 
> Maggie (23:51): _Of?_
> 
> Kara (23:52): _Losing her._
> 
> Kara (23:53): _Losing you_
> 
> Kara (23:53): _And Lucy._

A long pause followed, and then her phone screen lit up with a facetime call. Lucy.

“Hey,” Kara kept her voice low, aware of the sleeping pair just meters away, without a door separating them.

“Hey LD,” Maggie murmured, head resting on Lucy’s shoulder. They were sitting up, framed by the bed frame, both smiling softly into the lens.

“What’s this about losing us?” Lucy asked, eyebrows lifting just at the corners.

Kara didn’t immediately respond, eyes drawn back to the sleeping figures in the next room. “Alex is back.”

“What, you thinking about dropping the new and improved sisters, just because the original returned?” Kara could hear the _whack_ of Maggie smacking Lucy for the comment, but she didn’t take it back, eyes locked on to the screen challengingly.

Kara’s eyes widened, horrified. “ _No!_ Of course not!” She whisper-yells back.

Kara shoulda smelled the lawyer’s trap. “Then why do you think we’d do the same?” Long pause, where Kara just bit her lip, eyes still occasionally darting to the bedroom. “Kara, regardless of what happens between us and Alex, we are always going to be your family, okay?”

Kara nodded, but fear lurked behind her eyes.

“LD, you’re our sister,” Maggie smiled. “Nothing is going to change that. You will always have a home with us. We love you.”

Kara found herself smiling, something settling in her chest enough that she relaxed, just an inch. “I love you guys too.”


	24. The Morning After

Alex woke with a start.

Which was normal, for her. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d just slept through the night and woken peacefully. Hence, why she woke abruptly but quietly.

She and Ky had been sharing quarters for years. A bed for almost as long – her body had long since stopped thrashing or jolting during the night, subconscious very aware of the child asleep next to her.

Inhaling carefully, sharply, Alex exhaled a longer, slow breath. Practiced. Calming her racing heart and spinning mind. In, out. For an entire minute, Alex waited for her body to calm down, realize that she was safe, and not in that damp, rattling room millions of miles away.

When her heart finally settled, and her muscles relaxed, Alex sat up slowly. Ky was still dead to the world, in that way only teenagers could be. Gert was still laying at the end of the bed, head resting on Ky’s feet, but awake the moment Alex was.

She extracted herself from the bed smoothly, giving her friend a pat when she raised her head in question. “Stay here girl,” she murmured, nodding at Ky’s still sleeping form.

The companion made a small huffing sound, but resettled, eyes fixed on her charge.

Creeping out of the bedroom, she was unsurprised to find Kara awake. She figured her sudden increase in heart rate had triggered her sister’s hearing.

“Mornin’,” Alex smiled down, moving to settle in the spot left by Kara’s socked feet, bringing her knees up to her chest.

“Morning,” she mumbled back, eyes tracking her sisters’ movements with sticky eyes. She’d finally managed to get to sleep after speaking to Maggie and Lucy, but it had been far from restful. Sitting up, she surveyed her sister ( _her sister_ ), noting that she’d never put her prosthetic back on and was rubbing at the end of what was left of her forearm. “You okay?”

Alex glanced down at the injury, feeling the nerves pinch, sending jolts of electric pain up her arm and into her shoulder. “I need to see a medic at some point today, but I’ll live.”

“So, you’re going into the DEO?”

“I guess,” Alex shrugged. “I don’t really know what the protocol is for coming back from the dead, but I figure someone will give me access, so I can at least get to the ship.”

“We never had you declared dead.”

Raising both eyebrows, Alex turned to face her sister again. “What?”

“We just,” she waved her hand around vaguely. “I don’t know… let you be missing. I think Lucy said something about MIA paperwork?”

“You had me declared _missing in action_?” Which, Alex considered, was probably accurate. Technically she hadn’t been on DEO official business when the ship took off, but that was kind of splitting hairs in their line of work.

“Well…” Oh, there was the awkward look again. Something Kara didn’t want to talk about.

It was reassuring to Alex that she could still read her baby sister. “What?”

“Eliza… kinda, sorta, had a funeral for you?” Alex just blinked at that. Honestly, it hadn’t occurred to her that there would have been a service, even if she had been declared dead.

“That’s… um…” Alex shook her head, clearing away the dark thought about her father’s funeral, where they had been _told_ he’d died. “You told her what happened?”

Kara bit her lip, eyes suddenly evasive. “Yeah, she didn’t want to… hear it, basically. When J’onn and I told her, she refused to acknowledge anything until we had facts – which we couldn’t get. Then… one day, she just tells me she’d having a funeral.”

“What are you leaving out, Kar?” Because this was too evasive for her liking.

“She… the rest of kind of treated you like you were just missing, I guess. But Eliza…”

“Treated me like I was dead,” which again, made sense to Alex. Kara had other things going on, but Alex remembered after her dad ‘died’. Eliza had all but vanished, sinking into her work, pushing Alex to pick up the slack. She never mentioned Jeremiah unless absolutely forced, resulting in many of the early fireworks between mother and daughter. Alex supposed that pretending she was dead was preferred to be being left in limbo. Especially for a woman that was all about packing thing up and putting them away, nice and neat. “I’m sorry Kar, that must have been rough.”

Kara shrugged, picking at the throw. “Lucy and Maggie helped.”

Alex couldn’t help but smile. “They’ve been there for you a lot while I’ve been gone, huh?” Kara shrugged again, avoiding eye contact. “Hey, Kara,” reaching over with her available hand, she touched under the Kryptonian’s chin, forcing them to meet eyes. “I’m glad, okay? All I ever wished for while I was up there was that you three would have each other’s backs.”

“They’ve been great,” she finally smiled. “We do sisters night most weeks, and they always order enough food for me, even when I’m not coming over. It’s been… I wasn’t doing so good, when you first left. They kind of… held me together?”

Alex smiled, soft and sad and full of love for the women in her life. “They are really great, huh?”

“So…” Alex was already smirking at the failed nonchalance of her sister’s tone. “You gonna talk to them?”

Laughing, Alex hauled herself off the couch, heading for the kitchen for something non-rationed. “Alllleeeeeex,” Kara whined following with the blanket still tucked over her shoulders like a cape.

“I told you it wasn’t that simple Kar,” she grabbed a bowl and shifted through the cereal. She didn’t even know what sugar in these quantities would do to her at this point, but she was willing to risk it.

“I don’t see why you think it’s so complicated!” She didn’t yell, aware of the remaining guest fast asleep. But she made her tone known. “You love them, they love you – simple!”

“First,” Alex pulled out the fruit loops, reaching for her arm before attempting meal prep. “We never actually said those words, before I left.” She winced as she pulled the prosthetic over her elbow, holding while it whirled. “Second,” she let go when the chip let her know it was secured, flexing her hand and opening the fridge for milk. “I have an alien kid, who they did not sign up for.” She grinned when the colorful cereal tumbled into the bowl, already imagining the sugar coursing through her blood. “Third, I’ve been gone a year for them, four for me – I have no idea if we are even reading the same book, let alone on the same page.” In went the milk. Nabbing a spoon, she retook her seat at the counter.

“Are you saying you don’t love them?” The skeptical look was adorable, but Alex was not so easily persuaded.

“Of course, I do,” she shrugged, digging into the meal. “I think I always will. I think they’re it for me.”

“But…?”

“But, it’s not that simple,” she grins around a mouthful of artificial flavoring, ignoring her sister’s wince.

“You’re impossible.”

“And that’s why you,” she pointed the spoon at her baby sister. “Love me.” She shoved another spoonful in her mouth.

“Urgh, you guys make everything-“

 _“Meh! Meh! Meh! Meh!”_ the sound and vibration from the phone made Alex jump hard enough to warp her spoon, collapsing it around her prosthetic fingers. She winced, swallowing and dropping the distorted metal back into the bowl.

There was a thud from the next room then-

“What is it!?” Ky’s socked feet slid as she staggered into the living room, only saved from falling on her face by the armchair. From her state of disarray, she was still mostly asleep, but panic was driving her into consciousness. “What’s wrong?”

“Whoa, hey,” Alex got off the breakfast counter, hands outstretched towards her kid, already soothing. Meanwhile Kara frantically turned off her reminder to bring the briefs for her next story to work. “It’s just Kara’s alarm, love.”

If anything, Alex’s words panicked the girl more, eyes widening, stance shifting as she looked around the apartment for whatever threat the device was warning against. “Alarm? What kind of alarm?”

“Hey,” finally get close enough to catch the girl’s wrist, Alex tugged until she met her eyes. “It’s okay, I promise. It’s just a reminder – not a warning. You’re safe.”

“Really?” Only now did she rub at her eyes, blinking hard against the sleepiness still evading her.

“Really, really,” Alex assured, squeezing gently.

“Sorry Ky,” Kara called, still standing awkwardly by the counter, eyes wide and apologetic.

“Tis okay,” she muttered back, pressing her forehead against her mother’s sternum for a moment before centering herself. “Breakfast?”

“You excited for empty calories?” Alex grinned back, already itching to get at something that wasn’t designed to be as nutritious as it was tasteless.

“Fuck yeah,” she yelped when Alex whacked her shoulder for the language. But her mother was smiling, and her aunt was as awkward as promised and she was safe. 

* * *

Lucy woke slowly.

Maggie’s heartbeat under her ear making it easier to be lulled into a soft wakening. They’d (once again) failed to pull the blinds completely closed, so a strip of light was inching towards them, threatening to wake them both.

Blinking hard to get the sleep out of her eyes, Lucy gently pulled away. Or, tried, as Maggie’s arm around her shoulders kept her pretty pressed against the other women’s chest.

“Go back to sleep Lane,” was the muttered response she got for a moment of tugging. 

Lucy smiled, tucking some hair away from the other women’s face. “We should get up.”

“No.” A very mature response, but it made Lucy smile.

Laying her head back down, she decided to just enjoy these moments of silence. She knew the day held a lot of confusion and chaos, and this might be the only moment of peace she would get.

Eventually the sun started to really hit them and made staying in position this side of uncomfortably hot, so Lucy finally pulled away. But she didn’t get out of bed, couldn’t get out of bed. Instead, she flopped back, so her head was resting on the pillows and she could look at Maggie’s still half-asleep face.

“Stop staring.”

Lucy clicked her tongue around a smile. “So conceited!”

“It’s only conceited if I’m wrong,” Maggie cracked an eye open, turning her head a notch to look at her girl. “Gotcha.”

“Can you blame me?” Lucy dragged a finger along the strip of abs revealed by Maggie’s t-shirt. “My girlfriend’s pretty spectacular.”

“You should see mine,” Maggie smiled, blinking open both eyes slowly.

“Oh, I have. Totally out of your league.”

Snorting, Maggie finally woke up more fully, turning to look at the Director. “I love you.”

Ah, there were the words. The words that had stuck in their throats for months after Alex’s disappeared. Words they’d never gotten the chance to share with their girlfriend, words that haunted them every day. Words they’d eventually traded, without fanfare, one random night in September as they were going their separate ways for work. 

“I love you too,” Lucy murmured back, with more feeling then she intended.

They shared eye contact for a moment, lingering in the feeling. Knowing what was lurking around the corner.

“You still happy with our decision?” Maggie asked it softly, pitching her voice lower, but her eyes didn’t change. She was not trying to mollycoddle. She just wanted to be sure, and she wanted Lucy to be happy. She wanted them all to be happy.

“Yeah,” Lucy scratched at eth skin under her fingers, smiling when Maggie’s hips jumped just a hint. “It’s probably the healthiest move – for everyone.”

“I agree,” she tucked some loose hair behind the Directors ears, before pulling her into a kiss. Slow and open mouthed and just a dash of heat. Lucy’s fingers dipped around her hip, pulling her closer. “We don’t have time for this Lane,” but her fingers didn’t leave the other women’s jaw.

“I know,” and yet she pulled a little rougher at the hip, turning Maggie’s body so they were both on their sides, light streaming in behind the Detective. It was a beautiful morning, and she planned on enjoying it with her beautiful partner. 

* * *

Lucy was due at the dessert base today, but she honestly could not imagine anyone calling her out on it. Vas had already texted that she had everything under control, and she could take her time.

She marched into the DEO with as much authority as she could manage. Yesterday’s displays of affection towards an (ex?) employee was probably the kind of thing that would get anyone else fired, but, again, she could not imagine anyone calling her out on it.

“Morning Director!” Winn’s too happy voice called from central comms. He had that look about him which made Lucy narrow her eyes, smelling blood in the water.

“Have a good night Agent Schott?” She tilted her head, _just_ enough to be suggestive. Winn flushed instantly.

“I mean, yeah, I guess,” his eyes went wide “But not like, the _whole night!_ ” and wider again. “I mean, I _could_ , but- I didn’t- she didn’t-“ Lucy’s grin just got wider as he dug himself a nice deep hole. It was only when he ran out of steam, that he dropped his head. “Lyra asked for a ride home, is all.”

“That’s all, huh?” He flushed, but didn’t add anything, recognizing it would do him no good. Laughing, Lucy tried to pretend to be a professional again. “How’d the catastrophe on main going?”

“All cleaned up,” Winn spun around, pulling up the schematic. “And I’ve been monitoring the media for any discussion of a space-ship landing in National City. It seems that they managed to stay off the civilian radar.”

Sighing with some relief, Lucy nodded. Mentally, she was adding up the remaining paperwork this incident would require. She didn’t even know if there was a procedure for the spaceship they had docked above their primary base. She didn’t know what the procedure was for the fifty-ish aliens they were just letting loose in National City. Speaking of which, “have any of our guests come through here since last night?”

Winn spun in his chair, so he was facing Lucy properly. “Not leaving, but some have come back,” he scratched at his head, wincing just a little. “Some looked pretty upset.”

Which she supposed was fair. They’d been gone a year; a lot could happen in that time. She wondered how many would never be able to get back to their lives. Wondered how irreparable the damage Cadmus had done was.

“Oh, and Alex is upstairs in her old lab,” way to bury the _freaken_ lead.

Lucy tries to appear nonchalant as she twists around and starts up the stairs. While she totally understood why Alex had gone home with Kara, and agreed that it was probably the healthy solution, it did _not_ mean she had to be happy about it. The moment Alex left her line of sight it felt like a vice had been placed over her chest, and for each minute they were apart it was inching tighter.

Turning the corner into the lab, Lucy jerked to a stop.

Alex was standing over files, dozens of files. The lawyer/Director part of her brain reminded her that everything in here was classified and Alex probably shouldn’t have access until they’d determined her employment status. But the other part of her brain, the part that was in love with Alex Danvers, was just stuck on how _here_ she was.

“You promoted Peterson,” the doctor didn’t even look up from what she was reading. “It was a good choice – he’s a smart guy. Not very creative, but smart.”

“No one could have replaced you,” Lucy conceded.

“He’s doing alright,” Alex tapped the file, Lucy detecting a small grin forming. “Some of this is actually correct.”

“Well that’s a vote of confidence for my head bioengineer.”

Alex finally turned, resting her hip on the work bench and crossing her arms. Her smile softened when she took the Director. “Sorry, I know I should have asked before coming in here.”

Lucy huffed a laugh, finally stepping into the room. Closer to Alex. “It’s not like you to ever care about protocol.”

“Ah, well,” Alex shrugged, unfolding her arms as Lucy got into the vicinity of her space. “I’ve been working on that recently.”

The arched eyebrow was undermined by the way Lucy’s hands twitched to touch. “Really?” 

Her lip notched upwards. “Not a lot of room for rogue agents in the vacuum of space. Plus,” her fingers of her good hand hooked in the Directors beltloop. “I’ve developed a new appreciation for being in charge of assholes who don’t listen to orders.”

Lucy laughed, giving up the battle with her affection and letting her fingers tangle in the soft worn fabric of Alex’s shirt, stamped with some kind of logo. “Being in charge not all it’s cracked up to be, huh?”

“And I don’t even have an HR to deal with,” her nose dipped, just enough to brush Lucy’s hair, and quietly breath in the smell of home. Part of home at least.

Lucy smiled, allowing herself the moment to press her forehead against the taller woman’s shoulder. To feel how alive and real and safe Alex was, just in front of her. “Me and Maggie talked.”

Alex stiffened, just a little, but didn’t pull away.

“We were wondering if you wanted to come over for that talk tonight. Or whenever works for you. We know,” Lucy exhaled, pulling back just enough that she could see Alex’s expression. “You have a lot going on. We can be patient.”

Alex smiled, just a little, noting the affection in Lucy’s eyes, how she hadn’t released her grip. Her anxiety settled an inch. “I need to talk to my crew, make sure nothing urgent needs my attention,” she brushed some hair out of Lucy’s eyes. “But I’ll try make tonight work, and let you know.”

They stood there for another minute, Lucy indulging in being just Lucy for another moment, before finally engaging in the nagging obligations. She still couldn’t let go of her shirt though – her fingers seemed to have taken on a life of their own recently.

“We need to figure out what to do with that ship, long term. And everyone on board.”

Alex nodded, eyes dragging away as she thought about logistics. “Of the 53 I arrived with, only about a dozen are recruits or stowaways, so they are the biggest concern.”

“Stowaways?” What is this, a bad pirate movie?

“Yep,” Alex popped the ‘p’. “I never turned anyone away who was willing to work, but sometimes people were too scared to approach, or just had to escape unnoticed. It happens,” she shrugged, eyes still wondering as she thought out loud. “I’d estimate thirty on board have somewhere to go – family, friends, homes etc. Some just didn’t leave last night out of fear, or logistics. I’ll deal with a lot of that this afternoon, try and help everyone I can get to the people waiting for them.”

Lucy watched as Alex devised this plan, which involved her caring about each of these aliens individually. Involved knowing about their families, their living situations, what they were coming back to. Watched her _care_ about her fellow captives.

“I have a long-term plan for those that have nowhere to go. Or… well, actually, I have a long-term plan for everyone on board, but that is gonna take at least a few weeks to organize. So, we only need temporary accommodation for those that have to resettle.”

Legal mind ticking over, Lucy nodded. “Well, I assume your… ship has accommodation and supplies?” Alex nodded, not sure where she was going. “Would they be okay on board for a while? If we found somewhere to put it where it wasn’t violating Aviation or Trespass Laws?”

“Sure…”

“The dessert base has an airfield,” Lucy shrugged. “I don’t see an issue in letting you… park? Dock? There while they figure things out.”

“That’s very… generous of you…” Alex’s eyebrows pulled. “But won’t the higher-ups take issue?”

Lucy smirked. “I guess my girlfriends are rubbing off on me - They never let a little thing like protocol hold them up either.”

* * *

Alex’s boots clanged loud enough to echo when she slid down the ladder. She was already itching to get off the ship, and she’d been on it for approximately thirty seconds.

Just _knowing_ that everyone was out there, driving distance – hell, _walking_ distance away, was making her veins sandpaper. Letting go of Lucy for a second time was like tearing off skin. Walking away from Maggie _and_ Lucy the night before was like carving out a bit of her heart and leaving it behind.

The only reason she was semi-functional was because Kara had offered to take Ky for the day… which made both of them look sufficiently panicked. But neither was willing to back down from the challenge. Thus, Alex had agreed, smirking when they both got the same type of awkward about the whole thing. But knowing her sister was with her kid made something in her chest settle.

Alex ran her fingers along the walls as she walked, wistful smile pulling at her.

It was strange, actually reaching their destination. So much about the last four years had been about survival. Just make it another cycle. Another light. Another moment. The reality of seeing everyone, of being home, was jarring and unfamiliar. And she was one of the lucky ones.

The Mess door had been propped open – a huge hazard in space, but a convenance when docked. She could already here the chatter of the crew where they’d gathered.

When she ducked into the room a chorus of her name followed – everything from Captain to Al. She just grinned at the room in general, walking up to the head of the table they’d all gathered at.

“Kay,” she started, silence followed. All eyes on her. “Director Lane,” she ignored the laughing hoots, suppressing her own smile. “Has agreed to let us temporarily dock at another location, out of city limits, while I organize the Landing Plan.”

“You really think Lcorp will go for it?” asked Leeroy, their chemist.

Alex shrugged, tipping her head to each side while she considered. “Maybe not, but Lena Luthor is nothing if not ambitious. Even if she doesn’t accept the offer, any number of our souvenirs on the market will tide everyone over for a couple of years.”

This seemed to settle the crew, accepting that their Captain had a backup plan. _Always_ had a backup plan. “Anyway, the docking point being offered is pretty far outside city limits. You guys won’t be so easily able to get to and from the ship. So,” she locked eyes with a couple of suddenly nervous people individually. “If you have family waiting for you, you should think about disembarking soon.”

“What if we can’t find our way home?” Le’ra, looking smaller than Alex had seen him in years. Craig (head bandaged up), pressed a comforting hand to his shoulder. It hadn’t escaped Alex that he’d left last night but was already back.

“I’ll help as much as I can,” she assured. “But if you really do need a place to stay, you are welcome to stay here, on board. The jumps can be used for travel, as long as you stay out of airspace and don’t get spotted.”

Everyone nodded in their various forms. Something like a plan settled the crew, unused to this lack of direction they’d suddenly landed in. Four years was a long time.

“I… I have to start doing the notifications soon,” Alex started, taping the table with her good hand anxiously. “If anyone has anything to add to the letters and messages, please let me know within the next few days.”

“Cap,” Drew, still burnt out but functional. “You don’t have to do them all yourself.”

Alex bit in the inside of her cheek. “Yeah, I do.”

No one pushed back – used to the self-sacrificing bullshit their Captain liked to pull. Used to the guilt that clung to her, even after all these years. Even after she’d more than paid the price.

* * *

_Awkward._

The moment the front door closed behind her mother; the silence had just echoed in the room. _So, so awkward_.

Ky came to the sudden horrifying realization that she basically knew a hundred and fifty people. And that’s _it_. The last person she _met_ was Lincoln, six _months_ ago. Jesus, space travel had not prepared her for normal social interaction.

“So….” Not that Kara was doing much better, eyes wide and shifting from where she stood by the front door. “How are you finding Earth?”

Ky shrugged, wandering into deeper into the apartment so that she didn’t have to make eye contact. “Better than the last time I was here.”

“Oh, right!” She shifted forward, taking a hesitant step after the girl now in her living room. “Alex said you were from Earth! That means…”

Ky looked over her shoulder with a half-smile. “I’m one of the original Exodus’ crew, yeah.” Another shrug.

“I’m sorry I didn’t...“ Kara waved a hand in front of her, guilty eyes tracking the girl. “Save you.”

“Ah,” Ky stepped around the couch, heading to the corner of the room where Kara’d stacked her canvas’. “So, misplaced guilt is a family trait, good to know.”

“What’do ya mean?”

“Mom still thinks it her fault,” she tipped one of the canvas’ forward, looking at the one behind with a tilted head. “That we were exported like that. Cause she couldn’t stop Jeremiah.”

“So, you know-“

“That her dad helped deport us? Yeah,” she shuffled to the next painting. “That came out publicly around year two? But I knew a little before that. Ma tries not to keep things from me.” She shrugged, still not looking at her aunt. “Doesn’t always work, but I get it.”

Kara took another step in, angling so she could see what painting she was looking at. “Do you like art?”

“No,” she flicked another one back, looking at a new one. “Not really. Tech is more my thing.”

“Like… IT?”

“No, like mechanical engineering,” another shrug, another painting.

“Oh, wow,” another silence. Kara was desperately trying to remember the last time she spoke to a child as _Kara_ , not Supergirl. Rao, was it Carter? That was _years_ ago, and he almost died.

“Hey,” Ky pulled a painting out, pushing the rest so they were leaning back against the wall. She held it up between two hands, thumbs running over the canvas. “This is Krypton.”

Kara’s eyes widened. Yes, that was in fact from Krypton. It was the night sky painted from her childhood bedroom – the visible landscape bathed in the warm glow of Rao’s light. “Yeah, how’d you know?”

Ky looked over, careful eyes taking in the women. “Ma,” she looked back at the painting, eyes tracing the constellations she knew so well. “She liked to teach me about the stars. We made a deal once,” wistfulness tainted her tone. “That she could teach me about the Earth’s sky, as long as she would teach me about her sister’s.” She put the art down carefully, finally turning to look at Kara. “That’s the first time she told anyone anything about her personal life, I think.”

“Oh.” Which was not helpful to keeping the awkwardness at bay, but Kara’s mind was whirling.

“Sorry.” Ky winced, stepping away from the artwork. “Didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“No! No, you didn’t!” Kara rushed to assure, taking a step forward. “Did, ah… Did Alex talk about us? After that I mean.”

Ky jammed her hands in her pockets, eyes setting on Gertrude on the couch between them. She looked very asleep, but she knew better – the companion was just trying to stay out of the way. “With me, yeah, I guess. She’d tell me stories, about you and Supergirl and everything you guys did. You know, as the Superfriends.”

Kara’s eyes lit up at the word, a smile tugging at her lips. “And she taught you about Krypton.”

“Yeah,” Ky’s eyes wandered the apartment, unwilling to meet her aunts. “She used to say that… that people from lost worlds should try help each other – should keep each other’s culture alive.” Another shrug. “She tried to learn about Mars as well, but Whites have done a pretty good job eradicating sources on Greens.”

“I’m sorry,” voice softening. “That’s… that’s horrible. I know how hard it is, having your culture taken. But J’onn would love to be able to share anything you’d want to know with you.”

“Honestly?” Ky reached down, tangling her fingers in Gert’s fur, keeping her eyes down. “I’m a little worried about that whole thing. Martians,” she made a weird hand gesture towards herself, as if it was necessary to clarify that she was, in fact, a Martian. “Share memories and information telepathically. But I’ve never… been around someone who can talk to me like that.”

“And your worried he’ll see into your head too,” Kara finished.

“Yeah, I guess,” Gert lifted her head, making a little huffing noise.

“Have you talked to Alex about it?”

“Not really,” she scratched under her chin, smiling when her head tilted back to accommodate. “I hadn’t really thought about what it would be like, actually getting back. It was really hypothetical, up until a few days ago.”

“It’s scary,” Kara nodded, tucking her hands into her own pockets. “Landing on Earth. I imagine its still scary, even if you’ve been here before.”

Ky actually looked at her now, nervous eyes locking. “Yeah, it is.”

“Well,” Kara smiled, full Supergirl smiled, rocking on her heals. “Alex is super good at taking care of aliens who land here! And… I’m around, if you ever need anything, okay? We’re _zrhythrevium._ ”

Ky smiled, happy to be able to translate the word. “Family.”

“Yeah!” Kara felt her heart absolutely swell – She and Alex had only occasionally spoken her mother tongue. But having this new person, this new _family_ around, who could communicate with her… it made her feel that much more at home on earth.

“Even you girl,” Ky offered, scrubbing a hand over the side of Gertrude’s grinning face.

“So, she’s yours?”

“Oh, no, definitely not,” Ky took her hand away, smiling up at the other women. “She’s moms, 100%. She’s only here now as a babysitter.”

Kara’s eyebrows drew together, glancing between the _dog_ and the teenager. “Aren’t _I_ the babysitter?”

Ky actually laughed, a responding smile pulling at Kara’s lips at the sound. A teasing tone leaked into her words. “Sure. But Gert’s here to babysit _you_.”

Kara looked genuinely startled with the dog barked in response. It, honest to Rao, sounded like agreement.


	25. Coming Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter guys! All that's left is an epilogue, which shouldn't be too long. Thanks for sticking with me this far, and to anyone who commented/comments or leaves Kudos, thank you!

Alex was exhausted.

Today had been one long list of errands. After speaking with the crew at large, then the individuals who needed consultation, she’d been shuffled into the infirmary. It had taken Dryl over an hour to undo whatever damage she’d done during the fight. An hour of sparking pain and swearing.

She’d then had to check on Lincoln, who was doing much better, and M’gann, who was not. This had led to a conversation with Winn about getting her old iPhone, the one she’d carried with her the entire journey through space, back onto a phone plan. She needed to be able to contact people who _weren’t_ the crew, and their communicators were on a locked circuit. She’d then enlisted his help finding the missing loved ones for those who’d struggled the night before. Le’ra’s sister, for example, had moved downtown.

 _Then_ she’d had to make the single most awkward phone call in her life. Lena Luthor’s secretary was a stone wall, and flat out refused to pass along any information. Which, Alex supposed, made sense. Why would you give your _very_ wealthy and _very_ important boss a proposal from a stranger off the street? Alex could acknowledge it sounded insane – _“I’d like to ask for $45.6 million dollars in return for an idea. Yes, I’ll hold.”_Hence, the stonewalling. All the way up until she dropped her full name. Apparently, being a Danvers’ carried some weight with the younger Luthor. She smirked for the rest of the phone call.

But now meetings were set up, her crew were sorting their own shit, she had the basic necessities for moving forward. Now, she was swinging by Kara’s to check in before she went over to her old place. The thought made her stomach squirm.

She shouldered her way into Kara’s apartment and felt her eyes bug.

The kitchen was a bomb sight. Ky was actively cackling, laughing so hard she was bent over, resting her hand on the batter covered island to prevent falling over. Kara, meanwhile, looked frazzled. Perfect blonde hair frizzing at the edges, apron absolutely saturated in pale, thick liquid. But she was smiling, even as she dumped their fourth attempt at sticky buns into the trash.

“Stop laughing!” She demanded, even as her smile grew. “It’s _hard_!” When this yielded no result, she spun around to seek help from her sister. “Alex! Tell your child to be nice!”

“Ah, what exactly is hard?” She didn’t even know what she was looking at. She hadn’t even closed the door she was so shocked at the state of the kitchen. She’d only been gone a couple of lights for Rao’s sake.

“Baking!”

“ _You_ tried to _bake?”_ Alex raised a skeptical eyebrow, finally swinging the door shut behind her. Ky was dissolving into giggles now, sinking down into a crouch to try and contain it all. Gert took this opportunity to come over and lick her sticky fingers, setting Ky off all over again. The whole scene made Alex’s heart burst.

“Maggie makes it look so _easy!_ ” She honest to god stomped her foot, trying to notch down her smile. It didn’t work.

“ _Maggie_ isn’t a kitchen hazard,” Alex corrected, coming over to the counter and touching a finger to the sludge on its top. “What were you thinking, exactly?”

“Ky said she’d never tried _sticky buns_ , Alex! It’s a travesty of intergalactic proportions.”

Ky was finally winding down, still crouched. She pushed away her friend and stood up on wobbly legs. “She didn’t know whether she was allowed to take me out, so she figured she’d make em herself.”

“Okay,” Alex drawled, smiling between the pair. “For future reference, yes, you can take Ky outside Kar.”

“How was I supposed to know!?” she threw hands, slapping them on the counter for good measure. “Every time I’ve _seen_ her outside, she’s gotten hurt!”

Which, fair point. She squinted at her daughter. “She isn’t wrong.”

“It’s not _my_ fault I’m a Danvers,” Ky responded, smirking at her mom, knowing the sentence would make her much more amicable. She gestured between the three of them. “Aren’t we all magnets for trouble, or whatever?”

Alex and Kara shared a look, both trying (and failing) to push down smiles. Finally, Kara relented – “The Danvers’ family,” she looked back at her niece, heart glowing at the newest member. “We should come with a warning.”

* * *

Maggie was working _very_ hard not to stress.

She’d texted earlier in the day to say Alex was on board with coming over for dinner. That had tanked Maggie’s productivity completely – which is saying something, because her mind was already in two places. Trying to work when _Alex_ was just down the road… not particularly effective.

Her Captain sent her home early.

Which, yes, was a nice thing to do. Probably a smart thing to do. But also, horrible, because she was left to stew. Alone. For three hours. Lucy coming home barely took the edge off.

“Mags,” Lucy snagged her wrist as she made to pass the couch a fifth time. “It’s going to be fine.” She tugged until she dropped onto the cushions, but that did not stop her anxious fiddling.

“What if-“

“No.”

“But-“

“Nope.”

“Lane-“

“Sawyer,” Lucy grinned, finally stalling the panic spreading through Maggie like a virus. The Detective felt herself relax, just an inch, into the cushions. Shoulder dropped, heart slowing.

“You’re impossible,” Maggie huffed, leaning into her side.

“That’s why you love me.”

Someone knocked on the door.

Pausing, just long enough for Maggie to nod, Lucy released her and answered. Alex.

Any other situation, Lucy would have laughed at how nervous she looked standing at the door to her own apartment. She’d tucked her hands into her sleeves, already gnawing at her lip. But the smile she offered, as awkward as it was, still made Lucy stomach swoop.

“Glad you could make it,” Lucy offered, stepping aside so Alex could slip in. She withheld a reaction when the other woman brushed past her – even a year later, the smallest touch made her _ache._

“Wouldn’t miss it,” she responded, now standing just in the threshold.

Lucy closed the door and leaned back against it for a minute, just watching. Alex eyes were scanning the room, taking in the subtle changes. The missing photo of her father; the row of murder mysteries; the strings of fairy lights Kara them for Christmas (so they’d always have light in their life). The evidence of her missing time.

“Hey, Danvers,” Maggie ventured, finally interrupting, taking a step into touching distance.

“Hey, Mags,” Lucy felt her own hands twitch when Alex reached out reverently, brushing her fingers against Maggie’s cheek.

“Do you want something to drink?” She needed to use her hands, needed to do _something_ other than focus on the collective longing in the room. There was a reason they were here, and it wasn’t to just bask in their affection for one and other.

“Ah,” Alex turned to look at her, blinking. As if waking from a dream. “Sure. Something non-alcoholic?”

Which, odd. Lucy itched for something to take the edge off, an urge Alex normally shared (and then some). But Alex seems to be the Queen of Adult Decision Making at the moment, so Lucy followed the example and pulled out three bottles of water.

Hesitating for a moment, Alex took the only single seat in the place, turning her body automatically to follow Lucy and Maggie as they took the seats across from her. She accepted the bottle held out to her, immediately picking at the edge of the label. It was reassuring to Lucy that _some_ things don’t change.

“So,” Lucy settled as Alex spoke. Maggie leaned back so she could comfortably slip a hand under the hem of Lucy’s shirt, fingers stroking along the skin. “Did you guys… have any questions? Before we-“ Alex kind of waved her hand around between them, indicating the conversation they were here to have.

“A couple,” Lucy admitted, grateful for Maggie’s contact. She was usually the less tactile one, but right now she needed the grounding. The reminder that someone had her back.

“Shoot,” a small smile, just enough to make everyone settle.

Might as well dive in. “We won’t be upset, whatever your answer. It’s been four years,” Maggie started, instantly straightening Alex’s shoulders. “But, have you been with anyone else? While you were gone.”

Alex huffed a single, almost harsh laugh. Her eyes dragged back to the bottle label. She hadn’t even opened it.

“I tried,” she admitted, the Crinkle™ forming as she turned the water around in her hands. “About a year ago? I’d just been-“ she shook her head, closing her eyes for a moment. “It doesn’t matter. But no, it didn’t even really start. It couldn’t.“ she smiled self-deprecatingly.

“It couldn’t?” Lucy encouraged.

Alex bit the side of her cheek, trying to think through some kind of adequate articulation. “It was this friend of mine. She’s… lovely and smart and kind and there was absolutely no reason why I shouldn’t want to be with her,” the couple tensed, breath catching. “But she wasn’t you two.”

Maggie didn’t expect her heart to hurt _for_ Alex at that sentiment. She thought she’d feel… happy? A little relieved? But, weirdly, she felt _sad_. Her heart broke a little for Alex, the woman she loved, who had been trapped in space for four years and had spent that entire time alone.

Lucy’s voice softened. “How far did it go?”

Alex’s jaw tensed, just a notch, before relaxing. “She kissed me,” she pressed her thumb into the plastic, the sound of it crackling breaking through her own tension. “And I told her my heart was on Earth,” she released the straining plastic, taking a breath. “She understood, and we’re still close – as I said, she’s great.”

They sat in silence for a long moment, until Alex finally blinked up at them. “What about you two?”

Lucy frowned, looking at Maggie. “What about us?”

“Have you guys been with anyone else? While I was gone.”

“No,” Lucy carefully articulated, watching how Alex relaxed, just around the edges. “I can’t speak for Maggie, but you were it for me as well.”

Maggie leaned forward, reaching out and touching the edge of her knee. Voice soft, eyes softer. “Danvers, it’s always been you.”

Alex offered a smile back but didn’t reach back.

“You said you wanted us to go away and think about everything,” Maggie started, drawing everyone’s attention back to her. Lucy’s hand reached over to Maggie thigh, lending some strength. “Were you just talking about Ky?”

Because the time, the distance, that didn’t matter to them. A year had done nothing to dent their affection for Alex Danvers. A _lifetime_ would do nothing to dent their love.

Alex lost eye contact again, jaw working. Her leg started to bounce, just a little. “Mostly,” she inhaled and exhaled, slow, steady. Regaining her footing before jumping. Alex looked up at them. “She’s my main concern. I won’t let her be hurt, not if I can avoid it. So, anything that happens between us, that has to be second to her. Always.”

Maggie was nodding – they’d assumed as much. She wouldn’t be _their_ Alex if she was willing to risk a _daughter’s_ pain for a relationship. Any relationship. But Lucy was caught on something else.

“Mostly?”

Alex glanced between them, leg picking up a little speed. She put the bottle on the table, flexing her hands. “A lot has changed. I’ve… I’ve changed,” she grimaced, rotating her left wrist. “Four years is a long time. Especially in space.”

Silence.

It was loaded, Lucy’s fingers dug into Maggie’s jeans, so she tangled their fingers together. Squeezing once, reassuring.

“I’ve done a lot of… terrible things to survive,” she lost eye contact again, eye fixing just behind them, out the window. Taking in the night sky above. “Monstrous things.”

Lucy glanced at Maggie, but her eyes were locked on Alex. Locked on the obvious torment.

“Alex, anything you’ve done…” she trailed off, unsure how to continue without facts that Alex was in no state to provide. “You’re still _you_. We can see that.”

A harsh, wet laugh escaped her. She dragged a hand along her face, then through her hair. Harsh. Angry. Hurting.

“I’ve hurt people,” she forced out, voice rough. She leaned her elbows on her knees, hunching forward. “Killed. And not like for the DEO,” she scratched at a scarred eyebrow with her good hand. “Raiders, slavers, other prisoners,” her jaw clenched so hard it hurt. “Innocent people. I… I lost count.”

“Did you want to?” Lucy’s voice was soft, but direct, cutting through the building anguish.

“What?” Alex’s head snapped up, horrified eyes locking with the Directors. “Of course not.”

“Then we will work through it.”

“Luce-“

“No,” Maggie was suddenly brought back to the beginning of this evening – Lucy just cutting through the bullshit. “You were scared and alone and in pain and you had to do whatever you did to _survive_ , Alex.”

“Isn’t that _how_ monsters are made?”

Maggie felt her breath freeze in her throat. Her thoughts stumbled to a stop. Her heart ached. Lucy’s grip became iron.

“No,” Lucy finally breathed back. And then she was up, releasing Maggie’s hand, so she could kneel directly in Alex’s space, between her legs. She was forced to lean back, sliding up so her wrists were on her knees and her eyes were locked with Lucy’s. “ _No_ Alex,” she reached up, palming the women’s cheek.

Maggie had the sudden, intense feeling, that this was the beginning of the rest of their lives.

“You are strong and brave and _beautiful_ ,” each word was spoken with a conviction that etched itself into your heart. “And you _came home_ to us.” Tears were in both of their eyes, compelling Maggie to getting off the couch, crouching next to her partners. “And we _love you_.”

Which… was not what this conversation was supposed to be. They were supposed to be talking about dating again. Take the time to figure out how their lives could interconnect, whether they could fold back together. But that was a naive plan – as if there was a universe where they walked away from this woman. This woman who traveled across the universe to get back to them.

“She’s right, Danvers,” Maggie added, watching how Alex’s eyes shifted to lock on her. Feeling Lucy’s free hand on the inside of her knee. “We’ve loved you since before you were taken, and every day since. There isn’t any getting rid of us.”

Alex’s mind argued. Contradicted. Played a slideshow of the horrible, terrible, tragic, _monstrous_ things she’d done. But the warmth of Lucy’s hand, and the intensity of Maggie’s eyes drowned all that out. All she could see, all she could _feel_ , were these women. These women she’d given her heart to, and she was never going to ask for it back.

Smiling, softly, happily Alex looked between them and whispered the words that had echoed in her heart for four years. “I love you too.”


	26. Epiloge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couldn’t leave ya hanging like that so close to the end!

**Three Years Later (ish)**

“Hey!” The exuberance with which Ky opened the door had the other girl blinking, hands tightening on her dish, but otherwise grinning back. “You made it!” She glanced around, the yard, spotting Sam hustling up the drive, skirting around Maggie’s parked bike.

“Sorry!” She called, fumbling with the packages in her hands. “I’m late, I know!” She clambered up the porch steps, the ramp being built still in partial construction. “I got the cookies!”

Ruby rolled her eyes conspiratorially with her friend at her mother’s antics. Ky grinned, stepping aside to let the pair in. “Well, you came bearing cookies, so we’ll forgive you.”

“There was this conference call with some very unpleasant men-“

“Aren’t they all?” Ky muttered under her breath, making Ruby snort out a laugh.

“-yelling at me in German, and then I forgot the cookies and the Italian bakery I really liked, it was closed,” She started to strip off her outer layer, still talking into the void while the teenagers looked on in amusement. “So, you know, you get these,” she jerked the supermarket bought bag up in indication, finally taking a breath.

“It’s all good,” Ky offered. “Everyone’s out back, food only just went on.”

“Who’s cooking?” Ruby asked, trying to remain polite but the hesitation spoke of too many burnt meals produced by this family.

Ky grinned, taking the casserole dish from her hands so she could shirk her own jacket. “Maggie and J’onn - you’re safe.”

“Where’s your mom?” Sam asked, hanging her coat up and gesturing for Ruby to do the same. Ky just raised an eyebrow. “The scary one,” she elaborated with a grin. When Ky just raised her eyebrow a little higher, Sam finally laughed. “The scary _tall_ one.”

Ky frowned, but there was a smile in her eyes. “Busy flirting with Lucy.”

Sam laughed, allowing Ky to lead them deeper into the one-story house, following the growing sound of music and chatter. The sheer number of windows made it seem like the entire place could be breezed through, the decorations specifically chosen (by Maggie and Kara) to look airy. Four years trapped in a metal box made Alex and Ky itch for windows and light spaces. It was beautiful, and still had that near-new clean vibe.

“And Lena?” They had some business to talk about. The Exodus Ltd resource meeting kept getting pushed back, and Sam was about ready to march into Lord’s office and tell him to shove it – if he wanted access to their tech, he’d have to play nicer. But she needed Lena’s say-so to get away with it. 

Ky grinned now, cheeky and happy and willing to tease. “In the yard, busy flirting with Kara.”

Sam chuckled at that, turning the corner into the open plan living room, kitchen, porch combo at the back of the house. The double French doors at the end of the kitchen had been opened completely. This, to achieve free access from kitchen prep (done by Alex) to the stove station (manned by Maggie) and the barbeque (overseen by J’onn). The entire operation seemed to be running smoothly, likely because the couple most likely to cause mayhem and distraction had been banished to the living room.

Ky, despite her earlier frown, found herself smiling softly at her mom. She was leaning against the far wall, bottle of soda dangling in her bionic hand, the other occupied by Lucy’s waist. Lucy, meanwhile, had actually managed to inch closer in the three minutes Ky had been gone, and was looking up at the other women with much more inappropriate eyes then was acceptable at a family gathering. The resulting grin on Alex’s face indicated that she did not care. Not a bit.

But Sam walking in did cause the taller women to look away from her 5’2 distraction, smile softening into something more kid-friendly.

“Rubes! Sam,” she called, raising her voice so that she could speak over Winn and El on the loveseat. Lucy turned to smile in greeting, leaning against her girl’s chest. “Glad you could make it!” Alex’s arm came around to encircle her waist, pulling her flash against her and making Ky pull a face.

Lucy stuck her tongue out at Ky’s antics. The teenager chuckled as she turned away, leading the newcomers into the hectic kitchen.

“Ky! Thank god, can you get the platter from on top of the shelf,” Maggie didn’t even really look up from whatever it was she was stirring. Adding, under her breath (but loud enough to have J’onn and M’gann chuckling); _“Danvers is a damn sneak putting it so high.”_

Shrugging, laughing, Ky nodded, stepping onto thin air and hovering until she could reach the highest spot in the kitchen. She would put good money on her Ma putting it up there just to frustrate her partners. Ky was her height now, and _she_ needed to fly to reach it.

“Thank you,” Maggie took it, kissing the girl’s cheek and enjoying how it still made her blush. “Sam! How are ya?” She gave the other women a one-armed hug, and playfully punched the remaining teenagers arm.

“Late and exhausted,” Sam replied, helping place their offerings in the free spaces left on the benches. M’gann took the casserole dish from Ruby with a smile, taking it over to the mid-set table.

“Everyone’s out back,” she jerked her head towards the yard. Then she lowered her voice, leaning into Sam. “If you need a drink, Lena brought the good stuff.”

Sam’s smile became just an inch more genuine, reaching over to squeeze Maggie’s arm. “Thank you.”

As they passed J’onn he smiled, reaching out to give Sam a full hug, but immediately went back to the sizzling food. Detective Sawyer was not a woman he was willing to piss off this evening. 

Gertrude, in border collie form today, just this side of unusually large, was excitedly circling the frowning, stiff, Dryl. Ky smirked when she realized he was being shepherded for the companion’s own amusement. Drew and Ve were standing back, sharing a beer, cackling between themselves at their friend’s predicament. Doing absolutely nothing to assist. Ky finally decided to cut him a break, Ruby a step behind, calling _“Gert! Leave him alone!”_ to no avail.

The Danvers’ house generally kept the alcohol to a minimum, so the Luthor was entrusted to bring the scotch for major events – Sam’s eyes locked on her boss immediately. Lena had made herself perfectly comfortable on the outdoor longue, using Kara as her backboard. The superhero had one leg up on the suite, arm resting on her knee, bracketing her girlfriend. Sam internally relaxed, just a notch, when the superhero’s eyes tracked the kids automatically.

“Hey,” Lena smiled up at her CEO but did not extract herself from the no-longer-youngest Danvers. “Are you okay? I heard what happened with Lord.”

“I’m just tired,” she uncapped the bottle, pouring herself a drink and dropping into the free seat not occupied by Freyer. “Not enough hours I guess.”

“Don’t let that bottle of cheap cologne get to you,” she laughed, sipping her own drink. “He’s not worth it.”

“His _contracts_ worth over 50 million,” Sam took a sip, relishing the burn after her day.

Lena shrugged, making Kara’s smile grow in endearment. “If he wants the tech, he’ll have to behave. Or try find his own team of technologically advanced aliens willing to collaborate with him.” 

“Collaborate?” Freyer asked, voice soft and skin glowing, just softly, in the warm light. “I cannot imagine Leeroy or Ella _collaborating_ with anyone.”

Lena smirked again, leaning her head back so it was against Kara’s shoulder. “If you think I don’t know that Alex makes sure they behave, then you underestimate me.”

Freyer laughed, head tipping in acknowledgement. Even so many years later, there isn’t much that Captain Danvers couldn’t make happen. Especially amongst her crew.

“How does she even have time for that?” Sam asked, relaxing a little into the chair, swirling the liquid in her glass. “The clinic must keep her more than busy enough.”

“It doesn’t stop her from crashing the DEO every other day,” Kara muttered, fingers running the length of Lena’s arm.

“I thought Lucy banned her?”

Kara _and_ Freyer snorted, looking over at the new CEO with dubious eyes. “If you think _anyone_ can get between Alex and that equipment, you are insane,” Kara said, even as she smiled at the thought of her sister’s interference.

“Plus,” Freyer’s voice always made Sam want to relax. It was just so _soothing_. “I very much doubt Director Lane wants to be left alone with the amount of Exodus crew they’ve taken on.”

“As someone who employees a number of them myself, I don’t exactly blame her,” Lena added, smirking into her glass.

“Gert!” The shout from Ky had all the adults turning to look. Dryl had been successfully herded into the fence marking the ends of the elder Danvers property. Gertrude had not lost interest though, and was sitting guard right in front of him, keeping him in line. “Come _on_ dude,” even as Ky tried to make her voice sterner, laughter kept sneaking in. Ruby had given up, and was standing with the remaining crew, hand over her mouth to hide her enjoyment. “Leave him be.”

Gertrude didn’t even look around at her, just barked once – Dryl eyes narrowed even as he jumped in surprise.

“Yo!” Alex called, making everyone, including Gertrude look over. “Dinner’s on.”

The ex-Exodus members automatically reacted – used to following this women’s orders like a second nature. Gertrude even stopped standing guard and trotted over to Alex, accepting the offered scratches before wandering into the house. The cackling pair kept laughing, but Drew waited to give Dryl’s back a hard pat in apology, keeping an arm slung over him as they walked into the house (even though he looked at said arm in distaste).

Lena gave a half-scream half-yelp when Kara lifted them off the furniture, floating directly into the air. Lena’s free hand gripped unnecessarily at the Kryptonian’s clothes – Kara’s arms were strong enough to keep her upright until she gently placed them on the ground. Her smile was just this shy of smug, and she hummed happily into the offered kiss.

Sam laughed into her glass, muttering “showoff” under her breath as she followed Freyer into the house. Ruby bumped into her, knocking their shoulders together as they went, making Sam smile wide and happy. Being included in the Danvers nonsense had been the best thing to come out of their move to National City.

Inside was organized chaos. The table was barely big enough for the numbers, even with the makeshift table extension. But everyone quickly found seats, Alex at the head flanked by her partners. Ky knocked her head against Maggie’s shoulder when she sat, grinning when Maggie shouldered her back. Meanwhile, Lucy immediately handed off a glass of red to Kara, who tugged her and Lena down next to her. Eventually, everyone settled around the massive display of food (there were more aliens then people present – they were honestly lucky most of the crew was off-world at the moment otherwise there wouldn’t be enough food in the galaxy).

Awkwardly, Alex stood. Soda in hand she worked hard to not look at the pair of grinning women who would happily throw her off her game just to amuse themselves.

“So,” she cleared her throat. All eyes on her was different then when she was Captain Danvers. Everyone smiled, eyes happy and light and filled with affection for this very uncomfortable woman. This was not the Exodus, and they weren’t looking for a plan of action. This was her family at a housewarming party, waiting for her to speak her mind. “I just wanted to thank everyone for coming. I know that we all lead busy lives, so I really appreciate you coming and celebrating with us.”

She paused, looking around at these people – the people she loved. Her sister and daughter smiling warmly, her friends patiently waiting. Maggie’s fingers dipped under the table and caught the fabric of her pants. Grounding her. Lucy’s smile turned more comforting then distracting. Alex felt her heart settle.

“It’s been a long few years, and so much has happened. Not all of it good - but all of it worth it,” she flashed a smile at Ky. “Now, we finally have a home that we can build the rest of our lives in,” the smiles around the table just about cracked faces. Lucy reached over and tangled her fingers in Alex’s free hand.

“I am just so grateful to everyone at this table – you have all helped us get here, helped _me_ get here. I don’t know what kind of person I’d be without everyone in this room – so thank you. Thank you for being here for us, today and for the last… three to ten years. I love you guys,” and she raised her bottle, trying to bite back her blush.

There was pause where everyone raised their glasses, Winn finally cutting in happily. “To the Superfriends!”

And it was Ky who answered back, eyes locked with her mom’s. Feeling the warmth and affection radiating from everyone in the room, particularly the four other Danvers women heading the table. “We should come with a warning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s a wrap!! 
> 
> If you want to see what else I’ve got for this AU, please subscribe to the series. There is already more, it’s just completely unedited! If you want to be teased, jump over to What Monsters are Made of where I posted a (rough) first chapters. But bear with me - I get a bunch of time off in November before I start at my law firm and I'm hoping to still have enough interest then to keep writing. 
> 
> And I just... thank you guys so much for reading. This was so fun, and I love that you folks enjoyed this fever dream with me.


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